Be Curious not Judgemental

[Peach13]

Hi all!

My wife recently subscribed to Disney+ which has turned out to be quite useful to kill time while stuck indoors :doh:

We finished watching Ted Lasso last night which was actually really good (American Football coach comes to England to coach real Football :D I'm sure you see where it is going). During one of the later episodes he's telling a story about how he was bullied at school for being a bit different and never understood why. Later in life he became to realise that it wasn't himself that was the problem and that the bullies were actually just a bit ignorant and then came out with "be curious, not judgemental, ask questions, learn".

It really stuck with me as how many of us wish that the gen pop adopted this philosophy? Instead of the glares or the muffled abuse (not everyone obviously) people just got to know us. We don't bite!

Have a nice day!

Peach

:daydreaming: :sf:

[Julie MA]

Great idea. The curious are not the problem. They will ask questions. The hateful are the problem.

[SophyV]

Not just the hateful. The ignorant as well. Those that just do not know any better. When I was a Kid we used to think our local cross dresser was a freak and treated her that way. I regret that now that I am better educated and know that I am on the same spectrum. If we can only teach our children better. When children ask questions about us in public use it as an opportunity to teach rather than be offended. When adults judge us. Forgive their ignorance and move on.

[Cheryl T]

As Sophy said as a youngster my friends always referred to the crossdresser (then known as Transvestite) in the neighborhood as the "He-She Monster".
I always tried to avoid joining that tirade as I knew I was like her and feared being discovered. But of course in some ways I had to join in or be singled out for not joining, then the questions would fly.

So glad I was a flower child of the 60's. We lost all that for a time. People were just people (unless you were over 30 of course... LOL). Sadly now the world seems to have regressed and divisions are growing even larger.

[Stephanie47]

Over the years I have posted that my state, Washington State (the "other" Washington) has had laws protecting various minority groups since 2005. When you think about it that is sad. Society needs laws to protect people because of who they may be? The world has not come to an end in Washington State because gays and lesbians, transgender men and women and cross dressers are protected along with the disabled, race, creed color and national origin. There are many who still seek to tear down those protections and allow rampant discrimination. It is not just the ignorant. It is not just the hateful. It is also people who just want some to "just go away." Any further comments would get bounced, so I am not going to make them.

[docrobbysherry]

In my experience quite a few American women ARE curious about trans.:battingeyelashes:

However, many American men feel threatened by gays and trans because they r so insecure about their sexuality!:doh:

U can even see that here. Where the first thing out of people mouths is, "Yes, I dress but, I'm NOT gay!":straightface:

[MonicaPVD]

I have the benefit of living in New England, where most people tend to be accepting or, at the very least, have a degree of tolerance for behavior or appearance that does not fit neatly into a category. However, I have traveled (mostly driving) pretty through many states in the South and the Midwest, and I have yet to encounter open hostility or aggression towards me. In fact there have been times where I went into hostile environments almost as a dare to see what would happen, and there was no negative outcome. Sure, you might get some stares and the occasional snarky comment but nearly all people just tend to stick to their own little space. Even when engaged in casual conversation, they have been polite. I'm talking anything from small town restaurants in Texas to rough looking bars in Michigan, roadside diners, you name it. People tend to be quite self absorbed, unless they perceive you as a threat of some kind. I don't go around seducing insecure men, so I guess I'm just not a threat. They can go on nursing their beer, chewing on their dinner without a care in the world. All is good.

[SophyV]

I think people are more tolerant of strangers and visitors then they are of people in their own community. When you are passing through you are leaving soon. But if you decided to move in next door, those who will judge you out of ignorance or hate will show their true colors

[GretchenM]

Oh my, Peach, you are so right. And in these days it is even more important than ever before. There is so much hate in this world now.

Yet, in my view, it is actually less than it was in the distant past. In the 50's and 60's it was really intense which is why those of us who were growing up at that time were taught to not deviate much from the center of the road. If you showed any gay or trans tendencies you would end up pretty much an outcast among the masses. It still isn't good, but it is far better than it was 60 or 70 years ago. Count your blessings.

In my recollection it began to change a bit in the 70's but at less than a snail's pace. In the 80's the tempo began to increase a bit. Sadly, as hate and being judgemental of some things faded people found others to take their place. So much focus on difference being unfavorable. The psychologists and psychiatrists have found that a lot of people have a need to find something they don't like and then attack that, in part, to make themselves look better and more proper. You even see it within our community.

[Alexis00]

Sorry to be shallow but - Hannah Waddington, the 5’11 40-something who plays club owner Rebecca Welton. Yes, please. Barely noticed Keeley Hazell.

[Crissy 107]

I can remember growing up being bullied and being called a sissy even by some girls who joined in with the boys. Fortunately things have changed though I am sure their are plenty of bullies still around. I always disliked bullies and always will and would absolutely come to someone’s defense should I see it happening

[Wen4cd]

In 1984 after having social problems in school with being chased and beaten up by bullies all the time, and trying to avoid school lots because of it, I ended up talking with a nice psychiatrist felow.

I could trust him so much, lol. I think I told him about the girl in my head that I would talk to (which dynamic is still often similar today) who was part of me.

Instant diagnosis of Schizophrenia at age 10 for that confession, and institutionalized and force-fed thioridazine and nobody listened or cared, so I stopped talking to them at all.

And the 'girl in my head' taught me to only pretend to take the drugs or to vomit them back up in private if they forced me to swallow, because the medicine was intended to erase her and we both knew it.

These days, evil psychiatrist/hypnotist is one of my favorite kinky bedroom games.

[Peach13]

Sorry to be shallow but - Hannah Waddington, the 5?11 40-something who plays club owner Rebecca Welton. Yes, please. Barely noticed Keeley Hazell.


Oh I know! She is such a stunner! 🥰

[candykowal]

We all must remember how our parents were raised especially if you are a baby boomer.
I do believe a lot of folk were raised in a society where values of the age dictates social values.
Today, it seems most youth are more mindful, curious, and less judgemental to those who take there mannerisms and appearance seriously.
In a grade school as a boy growing breasts, I had to quit basketball and see a psychiatrist after getting out of the hospital for being beat up so many times.
We had to eventually move from my birth home in southern Virginia and finish out my senior year of HS as a girl in northern Indiana, being groomed to transition at legal age. It was dread if anyone found out you were born as a boy. So times are a changing for the better.

Now Alexis and Peach got me curious about the cuties on the show and make me wish I had the Disney channel too!