A New Experience But A Problem..

[Monica55cd]

Well last night I finally went out as Monica...had a makeover...pedicure shaved legs...nail tips and polished....I even bought a purse to go with my outfit....buy the time they got done with me at the salon it was after 8pm and the places I wanted to go to dressed were closed.... So I drove to LA/Hollwood hoping to find a place to get out with other people (hopfully a few more CD/TG people??)well drove all thru hollywood and back didnt find a place at all but I did have a little scare on Sunset boulavard Ihad 2 cop cars next to me then behind me and in front of me I was so worried that they were going to do something but I guess if they did read me they didn't care and went on their way...whewww breathing better now.....
well I got home and was still looking good wanting to be seen a little so I was chatting on line talked to a couple of CDs and a cd admirer IM'd me we talked he saw my pics and said I looked nice ....anyway...I met him ... not to have sex.....I guess I just wanted to be admired try that experience.....well he looked at me when we met and he was quite attracted to me...I just let my self go a little to experience this as a woman....I let him put his arms around me and kiss me......I have come to the realization that I am not gay at all ( I have had bisexual fantiseys before) because it did nothing for me...I was actually creeped out by it and said goodbye to him....The problem is I dont know if I was wrong for experienceing this or should I look at it as a learning and growing experience for me and Monica and what direction I should be going with my life....I realize this post is probaly more revieling about myself than most of my other posts but I guess I'm looking for advice.. thanks

[Missy]

yes you went out dressed and a man kissed you now you know that men are not you thing but dressing up is. we need to live and learn what it is that we really want and don't want in are life.

Missy

edgmora@hotmail.com

[randi_789]

Monica, first let me say I think you took an awful risk meeting with an admirer after only just meeting him online one time. I am just glad for you that nothing bad happened. About your feelings, I can understand the need to be seen when dressed. Since the first time I had been out while dressed it is not the same for me to dress at home where no one can see me. As for being with a man, my opinion of that is you were just wanting to feel what it was like to be a woman for a man. Each person has their own sexual feelings, and you found that you are not gay or bisexual. But that in no way makes you less of a woman when you dress. For me, I have been with a man while dressed and enjoyed the way he looked at me, treated me, and yes, kissed me. So, to each is own, and that is not to say any way is wrong. You just have to do what feels right for you. ...... And you do look great in your pics, so I could see why a man would be attracted to you.

[Monica55cd]

Missy and Randi thank you both so much...
I was feeling so guilty and emotional about this... feeling like everyone would chastize me for this....i guess because that's what i am doing that to my self..but as i read both your responses i actully cried...thank you...this forum has been so much help to me....

[EricaCD]

Agree with Randi - a bit of a risk meeting up with an unknown admirer. That said, it ended innocently enough and was an important learning experience for you. I don't see anything wrong with it. As far as kissing a guy, so what? I suppose it's probably the easiest way to find out whether you do in fact have any bi inclinations...

[Monica55cd]

Erica... thanks for your input...I'm trying to look at it in a positive way and not be so hard on myself...by the way your avitar is so cute...lovly picture thanks again...