wondering about role play...alpha or sub?

[ashlee chiffon]

As a change from the dressing and makeup themes, thought i'd ask a psychological question. Do any of you gurls and GG's change your mindsets when its dressup time? i'm just wondering how many cd's feel fem/girly and submissive and their SO's step into the controlling or domainant role when their mates slip into the feminine persona? Do any GG's like taking charge somewhat ? Would You like to?
i see posts where the GG's feel insecure and nervous when going out with their mates and cd friends and that is understandible, but do you ever like to take over the stronger role, maybe just at home and/or to play a bit? Or is it like girlfriends being equal?
I know that in my daily job and life, i'm alpha male and aggressive and always trying to compete and be successful and be the best, and then i go home and relax and put on my gurl side....and the more fem i go with it, the more relaxed and sensuous i feel, and the more submissive...i've had GG's that like to be controlling in various degrees and had lots of fun with it, enjoying letting myself go! When alone, my mindset doesn't change a lot, i just enjoy the dressing part!
I'm sure there's a wide variation on the theme but thought it would be fun to get some perspectives..if this has been asked before, or is inappropriate, forgive me dears!

[Harriet]

Well, I certainly enjoy being submissive. Although not out yet, I have tried to incorporate submissiveness -- and just being a sissy -- into my everyday life.

[Helen MC]

I am definitely NOT an "Alpha" male, this is totally against my mindset. I am anti competitive , try not be aggressive unless someone attacks me or what I hold dear and precious, and am quite happy to be in a support role. Although I am an individual and not a team player I am happy for someone else to make the decisions in a work environment and for them to take the lion's share of the praise or blame and to receive the higher pay for so doing, the risks and rewards of being a boss and not an ordinary worker.

Sexually I have always prefered to take the submissive role even to the physical side of letting the woman go on top and for her to make the running as it where.

[Stacy_CD]

In a certain sense, I try to embody alpha male qualities in my day to day life. Not necessarily that I'm bossy, try women badly or act like a jerk... But you won't get anywhere without taking initiative.

HOWEVER... Dressing and submissiveness go hand-in-hand for me. I associated them almost as soon as I put on a pair of panties. Like many other CDs, it's a big, big part of my fantasy, and the kind of erotic material I'll look at when the mood strikes. Argh, too much information.

[ashlee chiffon]

interesting...somewhat like me, except for the pay part:D

btw...you've got the Cutest avatar!

[Bev06 GG]

HOWEVER... Dressing and submissiveness go hand-in-hand for me. I associated them almost as soon as I put on a pair of panties. Like many other CDs, it's a big, big part of my fantasy, and the kind of erotic material I'll look at when the mood strikes. Argh, too much information.

Isnt that strange because as a woman Ive never felt like being submissive, infact quite the opposite really, Im quite a bolshi little sh..... when I think about it. Wonder where guys get the idea that women are submissive. Makes you think doesn't it?
BEVxxxx

[ashlee chiffon]

Hey Bev...

Think it's because we listen to other guys brag so much!

Most of the Gals i've been involved with have had an aggressive nature and was ok with my dressing and playing gurly...but as a man they wanted me to make the decisions and earn to pay the bills...though they were ok with me wearing my panties!!!
Can't i find one i could cook and clean for and let Her take charge? i'll even wash the clothes and do the windows! heck, She can be the :dom:...and tell me what to wear~

Seriously, though, I guess Women, in most relationships, are Really in charge anyway!!!

[Tamara Croft]

Isnt that strange because as a woman Ive never felt like being submissive, infact quite the opposite really, Im quite a bolshi little sh..... when I think about it. Wonder where guys get the idea that women are submissive. Makes you think doesn't it?
BEVxxxxLOL I could have wrote those exact words myself ;) I have to agree with you Bev, I'm far from being submissive, I'd rather be in control.

[Stacy_CD]

Y'know, that's a really, really interesting point now that you mention it. I swear, I'm not trying to offend anybody, that's just how my strange fantasies go... Not that fantasies are logical at all. And, actually, I have to mention they often (usually) involve really dominant women as well.

Trust me, I don't see women as submissive creatures who'll do whatever I say... or anything I say. In fact, I spend a lot, a lot of time trying to make sure my girlfriend's happy. I never meant that submissiveness and being a woman go hand in hand, only submissiveness and my crossdressing habit!

-Stacy

[ashlee chiffon]

all the above, though i need to practice the nails and shaving bit...
and practice, and practice, and practice....:daydreaming:

[cosmolovesph]

Submissive, especially when dressed

[janelle]

Do i hear any bids from Bev or Tamara for a maid. I'm ready, just order me around lol

[brightmank13]

Interesting question, when male I do feel life is a challenge to be confronted but when I'm dressed I'm so laid back I'm surprised I don't fall over.
And love being told what to do :D

[Deborah]

I've never been a dominant type person so i'll assume that makes me submissive. I suppose that's why i long for the (stereotypical) wife role. :D

[Maureen Henley]

When I'm in male mode, I'm not a whole lot different than en femme. I'm laid back, consensus-oriented, a peace maker, willing to put up with a certain amount of s*** to keep the peace. En femme, I try to be actively submissive, which tends to irritate my wife, who adamantly states that she does NOT want the job of boss, even in role-playing.

[Wenda]

Good question. I went to a small rural school, and from grade four onward, I was the oldest, biggest boy. For some reason, people have been comfortable placing me in leadership roles. My GF, so clever that she completed Grade Twelve before she was 17, got pregnant raised 4 children on her own, married a couple of loosers, the last went to jail for molesting her daughter AND her granddaughter! She struggles with self esteem issues. When she and Wenda are together, Wenda is very submissive. Jaya is very dominant. I think its a healthy development. She calls Wenda a two-bit *****. I am ok with that, because I am a bit ****ty.
When I am not Wenda, and we are together, I try hard to satisfy her, but, it is by no means a one-sided relationship. She is a very creative lover.
Although it doesnt work for me, I can see how dressing could work the opposite way, where someone who might be a bit submissive in their drab life, could be a bit of a dominatrix en femme.
Interestingé

[ashlee chiffon]

mmmmm....i see we're leaning towards the submissive for the males for the most part so far...

and the GG's seem to be more in charge...

i like it!

[ashlee chiffon]

i guess i should qualify that...

when the males are en femme...for the most part...

i like that ...better!!!

[Yes I am]

Although it doesnt work for me, I can see how dressing could work the opposite way, where someone who might be a bit submissive in their drab life, could be a bit of a dominatrix en femme.
Interestingé


Yeah, I can go either way whether dressing is involved or not. But I tend to be a little bit more prone to more aggressive love-making when I'm all dolled up.

[Billijo49504]

Aggressive, submissive, I think the real word is LOVE. No matter which either is feeling, Love is the most important thing. My wife and I are best friends. And that is more important than sub or aggres. The most important thing is that you love each other. And any games you play, are making both of you happy. That is the most important thing in a relationship...BJ

[Julie Avery]

The rabbit beneath these clothes is the same be they drab or femme.

[tammie]

Hi All: I have found that I am quite submissive when I am dressed in lingerie. I started out on this road by my X who instinctively knew I was a CD. Her father is a CD and she could tell probably becasue I knew to much about bras and slips etc, and enjoyed hers while she was wearing it to much perhaps.

She set me up by putting 2 of hers in the wastebasket in our bedroom and then announcing she was going shopping "back in 4 hrs." She left and came back surrepititiously in 20 minutes and caught me wearing her lace cup underwire bra and masterbating. She is 5'10" and worked her way thru college as a lifeguard so she is very muscular and wore my shirts and boots all the time. She was already very dominant as she was a mining engineer. A woman working in a mans field, and excelling at it and used to giving orders and being obeyed.


Over a period of the next yr many changes happened for me. The most dramatic was she decided to divorce me. Although we remain friends now, she wanted to travel and we tried livng in seperate locations and the long disance marriage didn't work well.

When she decided we were getting divorced she insisted I wear bras and panties with a slip to bed all thetime. I was still alowed to sleep with her (when she was home)but not allowed to enter her.

At this time we were living in a small mining town and she was dating married men. She was not trying to find a mate, but just entertaining herself.

[MsJanessa]

mmmmm....i see we're leaning towards the submissive for the males for the most part so far...

and the GG's seem to be more in charge...

i like it!
Not Me Hon---I haven't got a submissive bone in My body---I'm a Top all the way.:dom:

[EricaCD]

I am a serious alpha type in ordinary life, especially professionally. I don't think I am a jerk about it (reasonable minds may differ) but I am competitive, not consensus-oriented and quite aggressive. That said, I tone it down pretty dramatically in my home environment because I have a non-competitive wife and I don't think that's always a good side to show children.

I don't role-play much, mostly due to crossdressing being a solo sport for me. However, my self-image en femme, and my limited online interactions, pretty clearly indicate that I like to be wearing the pants even when I am wearing a skirt.

Erica

[jennypout]

In my case, the answer is ... deeply submissive! On the surface, it comes out as sensitive, good listener, supportive type of guy, though also wants my way! But right beneath (and not too far), very, very submissive. When I'm with a woman (and even more so when I'm with more than one woman), even in work/non-sexual situations, I'm excited (sexually) all of the time, just being in the presence of women (especially if they're attractive to me) because I'm feeling so much - so submissively much, really - in their presence. I'm very conscious of their bodies - legs, feet, breasts, butts, all of them, really - and love to be in their presence - very aroused, all the time - but also very attentive to them, what they're saying, their needs, etc. I work hard to not show any of the sexual energy - I don't stare, e.g., as much as I'd love to be at their feet, literally, or to be babied at her breast. I have lots of women friends because I work so hard to be supportive to them. I get tremendous pleasure being that way. However ... it is also very much a sexual thing for me. So, in essence, very submissive!
- jenny

[InHerShoes]

I love getting dressed up and playing the dominant role. What could be sexier than a strong woman who knows what she wants and won't take no for an answer? Wearing heels and standing so high above my partner brings in a great element to play that would not be available in guy mode.

[Caitlintgsd]

It's probably hard to see with the black on black and all but in my avatar I'm holding a flogger. I don't really have any plans on being on the receiving end of it....

[Casey Morgan]

Hmmm. In male mode i'm submissive. I'm not sure if She (well, i'm hoping anyway) would let me find out for sure in female mode. But i really doubt dressing would change anything. And anyway, dressing is currently just for me.

On second thought, i don't need to "find out" to know. i just know. i'm submissive in both male and female modes.

[cheryl53]

i also feel different when i am dressed . i seem to be more ditsy . why i am not sure. but once in a while it just feels good to be the ditsy one.

[Bev06 GG]

Do i hear any bids from Bev or Tamara for a maid. I'm ready, just order me around lol
Nice one Janelle, if I could afford one you'de get first option honest.
Take care
BEVxxx

[DawnRodgers]

I really don't relate to the alpha male at all in male mode. Yes, I am decisive, affable and good at what I do. Perhaps mt biggest fem trait when a male is that I get along extremely well with women. Enjoy talking to them (not at them), emphasize with their problems (mostly neanderthal typr husbands that they are too good for) and, frankly take some heat for that too (like "hey, why don't you come in here and watch the game. Let the women make dinner, or something".
Yet in my female mode, I actually love beiung told to do something. I, while not totally subservient, would say that I am submissive. There is something perversely comfortable about not having to make decisions or be in control. Don't think I am attracted to the neanderthals but I certainly am intent on attending to a man and satisfying him completely. Certainly I grew up in the 50's when the roles of the sexes were looked at differently and I am likely affected by that. I am though, a strong advocate for women's rights and actively encourage them to try something if they want. Do not be afraid of failure or being better than their husbands or other men. That's the type of woman I would want to be.
Dawn

[Kimberly]

My ex-girlfriend and I were both quite submissive creatures. Lol... did it take us long to start things in the bedroom department!!

I enjoy being in control sexually, but often find the being submissive is the sweeter of the two. But I don't mind. :)