Part time job for the purpuse of "wombing" a transition?

[Wen4cd]

It struck me that if I move forward with any transitioning, that I ought to moonlight on the weekends and perhaps evenings at a second job where they know form the start, and this would have some benefits.


Extra Money
New People with a new baseline for interpersonal relationships
A reason to develop a professional wardrobe and public style
Chance to grow out of the shyness that being secretive has caused over the years
Less time to sit and ruminate and worry about deciding, just going out and 'doing' instead.
*possible new career option /safety net if my main day job will not 'fit'
it would make me feel like a real person in the real world


Anybody try this strategy? I imagine I will have to at least talk to my boss at my day job, but it's such a roughneck career that I am doubtful that transitioning would leave me in any comfort level there.

[Samm]

I have often thought about this exact scenario. But I'll probably never act on it. Just the time it would take me to change between the day job and the part time girl job is enough to keep that dream... just a dream.
If someday, I really had serious feelings of living more female than male, I would put more thought into it. But right now, I'm good where I'm at, generally speaking. Could use more outings, though ;)

[RADER]

I often thought that there was a place one could go and sped a period of time as a different person.
You would check in dressed, and not wear any male clothing the entire time you where there.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Last year when I was unemployed, I applied for and got an offer a job at Lane Bryant. However, the hourly pay was less than any job I've had since graduating college. Plus, they would only schedule you for 5 hours or less per day. That way, they avoided paying you for a mandatory 15-minute break. penny wise and pound foolish, if you ask me.

I didn't take the job because my wife had a fit. She said if I wanted the job that much, I should move out.

I did get (and accept) an engineering job a couple of moths later.

[Katya@]

Unless you really need extra money now, living a double life could be mentally hard. I think it's best to think about putting the energy into making yourself competitive on the job market to have one good main job. It's not that hard to be trans at work as I thought.

[Wen4cd]

Yeah I don't particularly need extra money now, and I already have a good main job, but it's in the steel industry and it's gritty, loud, and destroys tough work clothing at an alarming rate. I don a bunch of leather aprons and gloves and goggles, stick in earplugs, and work on steel on my feet for 10 hours while the earplugs block out everything but the voices in my head.

hehe, I'm already living a double life on the weekends (the main job is 4 ten hour days, and 3 day weekends) and my last side gig dried up just before Corona hit. It's already mentally hard, and it's emotionally hard to feel like I'm not a real person on the weekend.

I thought about going out somewhere 'social' on the weekends and getting a life, but there's not much unless you like to go to bars and drink, and I don't.

[Teresa]

Wen4cd,
Usually one thing stopping you and that's YOU !

I do appeciate it has to come together , being comfortable with yourself and then gaining acceptance from the people around you .

I still have the dream of running my own art group as Teresa , I have many who wish to attend a group if and when I get it up and running , like most of us we have to get through the pandemic and feel safe again . As I've mentioned before my avatar was taken in the art room during a painting session with a room full of people so acceptance isn't a problem for me , I have to admit reaching that point does feel good .

If you can set aside those doubts and problems you list you will find people do actually want you to succeed , many are on your side not against you .

[Wen4cd]

Thanks for the advice.

In some ways I've gotten too comfortable with myself actually and with friends online, :o

But I can't always dress like a dominatrix to go out grocery shopping, or go to a job, or any social functions, or to visit the family during holidays, , so I am working on a more real-world presentation that still feels 'true,' which is the hard part. What might look cool in a dungeon could be a bit intimidating at a middle-america shopping plaza.

It feels like this is a whole different energy and drive from my 'modeling' style dressing, (which is selfish and 'artistic' in nature) and this feels like me wanting to be the best person I can manage to be. I don't know how to define 'succeed' in that sphere. I just want people to know me and for me to be a decent sort of friend.


Painting is fun, I'd totally join a art group. I used to do a lot of painting and sculpting before getting heavy into my paying career.

No surprise I sculpted female doll masks :)

318993

[Devi SM]

Wen, I think your strategy is a good idea.
I started driving as an Uber driver . The first times was intimidating, I was lucky that the first day I drove mostly women that are almost always nice and love talking and do questionsabout transition, just one guy that keep silence all the time.

There I met all kind of people, guys, lesbians, a closeted trans and once a transgirl with two classmates that encourage me too much...

Now remembering those I feel so happy with the desicion. It gave me so much confidence...

I attached pictures from some nice encounters and people that encourage me so much.

One lady, that one I'm hugging read that I was trans eventhought without make up and in male mode, in the picture with three girls that one with a hat is the trans, there's another lady, from India that understood my name and gave me powerful reasons to pick that name, which is now my legal name.

A job can give you a lot of exposition, gain experience and build your new personality.
Some bad things happened too, two sexual aggressions and some passengers bad reactions but that taught me to overpass those situations too....

Now I'm facing the challenge to start my own business...

Devi San Martin

Update:

After post here I was thinking about my transition and remember that last year, I quit from Uber foe covid19 and I was called to work on the census2020, that was another great opportunity because now people wasn't swat in the car and looking at my back head but interviewing at least 20 persons at day in English and Spanish, that helped me to overpass another obstacles as my voice so now I'm in voice speech feminization therapy paid for the insurance, as well Uber passengers, I found great support in people, some bad guys because at that time I had no legally change my name so my badge day David while I introduce myself as Devi, one day a guy was repeatingly calling me David like remarking my male identity but I just ignored him...

[LisaMarieDayton]

I've briefly considered a few years ago to get a second job and work as 'Lisa Marie' to see how well I could adapt to working as a female. I applied for Uber three times, but was denied every time for not having enough driving experience (odd since at the time I've been a city transit bus driver for 13 years). I thought about getting a job as a bagger at a grocery store, but then I realized I'd be giving up my days off. Ultimately, I decided to jump straight into living/ working full time as a bus driver as Lisa Marie on the first of the year. It hasn't been easy, but I have no regrets.

One thing to consider though is that unless you already have a legal name/ gender change on your ID and other documents, whatever job you apply for will know you are transitioning right away. Of course you can ask they keep the information to themselves and not inform your coworkers. It would still be worth considering; especially if they hire you knowing in the beginning.