What do you do at the thrift store?

[laurie103]

I've had good experiences and bad. One of the first times I went out, I went shopping at a Goodwill. No one seemed the wiser. One time, the checkout girl started talking to me about her day. She was in her early 20's. "God, I'm so bored" she says -- is she messing with me? Does she know what I am? Is this just a normal interaction? How do you respond to someone like that if you haven't perfected your voice? I said minimal words in response, and that was it. I'm positive she made me, but...

I've never had a bad experience. What are you guys up to?

[MonicaPVD]

People who were born at the turn of the century don't care if you are a man, a woman, a they/them or a Keebler elf. She was bored and she said so. They probably have a no cell phone policy for their employees, otherwise she would have posted her affirmation, instead.

[Samm]

OMG, you're speaking my language! Lol. Hitting the thrift stores while pretty is one of my passions. :D I find going alone, without my wifey, to be the best. I can spend as much time as I want perusing the racks without her getting bored. No one has ever said a word to me, good or bad. Not even an awkward look.. Of course, I dont pay much attention to anyone else. I'm always too into what I'm doing, as most everyone is.
Last time I went out, I hit two different stores. I must have been in the second one a while. Because when I came out, it was getting dark. Lol.

[Maid_Marion]

I think she was bored and just wanted to talk.
Women talk more than men.
When I present female people are much more sociable.

Thrift stores are great for finding brands that sell petite size clothing.
I bought a Eddie Bauer parka with a broken zipper and fixed it.
It got too worn for wearing at home, so I bought a new one on closeout for 70% off!
Just got it today and it fits great! Sleeves are just the right length. :)

Marion

[Judy-Somthing]

Most of the time the SA just says have a good day.

I bought a wedding dress one time and the SA said it's nice to see this dress get sold.

One time a male SA said "this will look good on you" I said "I hope it fits" he look a little shocked.

One Time I went into a different thrift store and while I was looking at the dresses a female worker who was near by said "Looks like someone need a dress", I never went back to that store!

[Shely]

I once at the check out had the short little old lady say "Oh that'll look god on you" to which I said, "I hope so". Who cares, I go to the thrift stores all the time and only once have anyone said anything inappropriate. I would just act pleasantly and move on. Actually i got quite a kick out of it!!!

[char GG]

It sounds like normal interaction to me. She sounded nice and friendly. All you have to do is be friendly back. It doesn't matter if she "made" you or not.

Prior to Covid, my hubby went to multiple Goodwills on a weekly basis and usually had light banter with the people at the check outs. He used his own voice, it didn't matter.

[Wen4cd]

People in the shops are usually cool. I mean, I went to Lowes and bought a washing machine and arranged delivery today dressed pretty, and grocery shopping, and a bunch of other shops, and out to eat, and basically everyone had some little small talk to make.

[Heather2die4]

I've done some shopping en femme but prefer to shop in hybrid mode (no wig, forms, or make up and not trying to pass). So much simpler when trying things on. I've never had a bad experience. I favor consignment shops as the clothing and hired help are of better grade. Beauty supply stores are also fun and those SAs are NOT being hit on all day by male customers so they enjoy the attention.

Come to think of it, I've been stepping out dressed for almost a year; museums, shopping, yoga, ladies rest rooms, and not had a single bad experience, although I am read often. I was in Bed Bath and Beyond and saw an SA who was clearly in transition. No big deal. It's just more accepted these days.

[Micki_Finn]

As someone who makes a living in retail, or I ever had an employee who complained about the job while on the clock, not to mention TO A CUSTOMER, they’d be SO fired. As to your particular issue, I’ve never had a clerk say anything negative while I was dressed. They’re just trying to get through their day. Which isn’t to say that they won’t have jokes or comments behind your back, but if you’re worried about that, you shouldn’t be going out dressed.

[candykowal]

I have found some nice satin blouses and a few cute skirts at resale shops.
I went a lot during work, in the company car as I'd had to drive all over a 130mile metro area, so I was in guy mode most times.
I found depending on the neighborhood I went to, was hit or miss on sizes or fashions.
If I hit a black neighborhood thrift store, I'd find my size shoes as those ladies tend to have bigger feet.
If I was in a Italian neighborhood thrift store, the racks were filled with satin blouses.
Jewish neighborhood thrift store had nice jewelry and plain styles and seemed to be higher priced and better quality.
Polish neighborhoods I found foundations and long line bras, and kitchen aprons, as I have a collection of them.
The Spanish neighborhood thrift stores had a lot of kids clothes and most of the good women's wear were picked thru, those women know good deals.
I'm a pretty easy going person and make friends easily and if anything was implied or I was asked about my purchases, I would let them know I was a crossdresser and I love getting girly.
They don't know me. Why should I care what they think...but most people are just being nice and passing the day, working.
So I never had any concerns.
Today, my boudoir is pretty full and the opportunity to get out, during the Pandemic, is usually is reserved to when my wife works.
I haven't been shopping at the thrift stores lately.

[alwayshave]

laurie, I have found a number of nice cresses at Goodwill with no negative issues. One was so nice that my stepdaughter wore it to a family wedding.

[Barbara Jo]

If I may......

It's not clear what the cleckout girl said to you and why she was having a bad day .
So content and context is all important.
Perhaps she thought that you were just an approachable person and needed to vent a bit.

Having said that....
What used to be normal interaction between strangers has vanished to the point that usually
you can not even wave or say hello to a stranger anymore without some thinking you are strange... or have an ulterior motive.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I was shopping at a thrift store in boy mode, and the had women's suits on sale for $9.99. I know ... Not the sexiest thing around but I wanted to have a ew around in case I felt like going out business-like.

I picked out a few that I liked and took them to the checkout. She charged me $14.99 each. We then had a discussion about whether they were $9.99 or $14.99. Finally, I took her to the rack and showed her the posted price of $9.99. She said, "Oh, i'm so sorry. I thought that they were men's suits (which were $14.99).

The suits that I picked out were obviously feminine just based on the color. I can only guess that she was on automatic pilot and just didn't look.

[Dutchess]

Nope she wasnt messing with you , she absolutely knew what you were and as Monica said, young people dont care anymore about this kind of thing , Really , they see so much wild outrageous stuff that a CDer barely registers . Its just life . My youngest are 19 and 26 and they will tell you they don't even notice cd or transfolk of any variety.
Just use your normal voice , a fake voice just sounds strange

[CharlotteCD]

To say you don't even notice cd'ers and trans people either means they've never seen one, if they're lying.

If we're honest, the majority of us have at least one tell, if not three, four or five.

[susanmichelle]

I go to three thrift stores at least three times a week. In Columbus Indiana they have two goodwill stores and a place called San Souci which means no worries where they have clothing sometimes for $.21 cents an item. All the sales and cashiers are great. Most make comments on how they love my dangle earrings. Last week one said I wish I could wear them too but feels like bugs crawling on her neck. Lol we both got a laugh on that one. They all treat me just like one of the other women that are there. Plus they get some really good branded things as well. A few miles up the interstate there are about 50 specialty stores like body armor, coach, Tommy hillfinger etc. I think people go there and take their used things to goodwills. Most of the things I get are like new too.

Never had any bad remarks from anywhere even from other customers. I just relax go to my size racks and blend in like I?m supposed to be there.

[Teresa]

In the UK our equivalent is a charity shop .

I've had some very amusing moments mostly in male mode in the past in charity shops and bought some really good items at knock down prices . Nowdays I don't think twice about shopping and chatting to the SAs , most are volunteers and are usually very friendly .

As for a bad experience , well it came from another customer , I asked where the ladies jackets were and a lady shopper said in a loud voice , " The male jackets are over there !" When I said I was looking for women's jacket she repeated even louder what she had said . Eventually she left with her friend and I found a lovely grey, fitted jacket by Next . I met them in another charity shop and told them I had found a nice jacket , with that they both turned on their heels and walked out the shop .

[Karren H]

I think she was just really bored and wanted to discuss your situation to liven up her boring existence!! Personally, I love talking to other people when enfemme... it's fun and you are educating the public...

[BTWimRobin]

I love stopping at the Goodwill when I travel to CT to visit family. I've found several nice things, including an pretty pair of pumps in size sasquatch. I've also been to the Savers in West Springfield. That place is huge and very over stimulating for me. When I'm in these stores I find that people are too into their own treasure hunt to worry about what racks you're looking through.

[Teri Ray]

My wife and I frequently shop at thrift stores. Like Robin mentioned for us it often is a "Treasure Hunt". I have found some very high end clothes at unbelievable prices. Being a man in the woman's clothing section has never bothered me and I have never had a bad experience. But then shopping at a thrift store for me is no different that shopping at Macys or Victoria Secrets I just own it and go about my business. For me there is no difference shopping for panties or hand tools. Both are fun.

[Jenn A116]

Perhaps if you had responded to her comment about being bored with a revelaiton about yourself that would have given her a jolt. :) I'll bet she wouldn't be bored any longer. At least for a while.

[Dutchess]

To say you don't even notice cd'ers and trans people either means they've never seen one, if they're lying.

My girls live in Los Angeles , they have seen plenty and they are not lying . One is a funeral director the other an actress who's roommate is a transwoman . Both were raised by two TG people . They've seen plenty of everything here . They really do not notice or care .

[Barbara Jo]

Of course, it all depends on the type of thrift shop you might be in .

It it is some sort of a charity thrift shop like :The Salvation Army" thrift store in the US, the clerks are just hired hands an could not care less

However, if it is some small, privately owned shop you are most likely dealing with the owner and perhaps any prejudices they may have .

[suzanne]

"Looks like someone needs a dress." is not a comment that is intended to make you uncomfortable. It is a conversation starter, made by someone who's seen a crossdresser before and is trying to be supportive. A perfect reply might have been, "You bet. Can you help me find something in size (whatever your size is)? That will give you a definitive answer. Although she might be a hater, I really believe the chances are greater that she would have given you a lot of help, then set you up in a fitting room, then told you what days she works so you can get her to help you again.

I sincerely believe that sales ladies in clothing stores don't just tolerate crossdressers, they ENJOY helping us break through our fears and find the clothes that reveal our authentic selves. This is my own personal, boots on the ground, experience, not some theory or wish. I have never encountered an SA who was less than enthusiastic about helping me. In fact, many of them have told me I'm one of their best customers. It's my hope that everyone in this forum develops the courage to shop in person for a dress, and that they discover the revelation that I've had, hard as it may be for many of you to believe.

[ShelbyDawn]

I have shopped at thrift stores quite a bit and possibly one of my best CD shopping experiences ever was at the Goodwill not too far from where I work.
We had gotten an unexpected half day off with pay thanks ot the city utilities cutting the power to the whole building and I decided to go shopping for a new skirt. Now thrift stores are kind of hit or miss but I had time to browse and to try some things on, sorting through all the mis-sized pieces hung in the wrong place and dealing with the frustration that the really cute stuff I liked always seemed to be a couple sizes too small, all the standard thrift store experiences.
I was in the changing room with my latest candidates when someone, I never found out who but believe it was the lady restocking all of my rejects, laid a khaki skirt over the top of the changing room door, I waited for a few minutes expecting it to disappear and even opened the door to see who it might belong to; there was no one in sight, so I tried it on. It fits perfectly, notice I said fits and not fit. It is possibly my favorite skirt and was found for me by a thrift store angel.

[Liz Jones]

Charity shop ( UK ) i went in ( in drab ) & enquired about a pair of long evening gloves in the window. S/A got them out of the window, no way would they fit my ( big ) hands. The S/A looking at me said " i am worried about you" i knew what she was thinking.....
My reply -- you should worry about yourself ! your wearing "Bob the builder " boots ,trousers, short cropped hair .... she stood for a moment ( could hear the wheels turning in her head ! ) she flung the gloves down & shouted to her mate -- you serve him ,i wont ... another customer standinby me was in tucks ! ( laughing ).
Another story ,- Franchise in a supermarket selling shoes, i was looking for a pair of purple shoes for my daughter. S/A offered to help only to find no size 6 available. She moved away to help another costomer, i carried on looking. Later i aproached the counter with a pair of purple shoes in my hand. Ah says the S/A you found a pair - no says i -- these are for me ......... the rest of the transaction was carried out in silence.........
Liz

[mykell]

well i price products, help customers, take in donations, swiffer the floors, pick up supplies for the store and share my"self" with anyone who listens, just to name a few....friendly atmosphere and i dress as myself....amazed at what folks donate....good and bad.....center square in belmar nj....

[darla_g]

I have mostly had excellent experiences in thrift stores. I do remember one guy in a Goodwill who kept trying to direct me to the men's section. I just ignored him

I mostly buy women's clothes and have gotten some great buys, mostly for myself but for resale as well

[Beverley Sims]

No bad experiences, was read once, a pleasant encounter.

Nice dresses that appeal to me can be good economy. :-)

[terry45]

Love going to the thrift stores can find alot of nice tops and pants and shoes never bought any bras never in my size either

[Stephanie47]

I don't do dress shopping at Goodwill. With over 160 dresses I really do not need anymore. I have never gone shopping in female mode. I have bought feminine attire in male mode. Several times around Halloween I purchased heels at Payless and was treated great. Even a male manager tried to get me to buy one and get one half price. If I would have jumped at the sale I was sure it would have been a giveaway. He even tried to get me to buy hosiery. At another Payless a female sales associate was very helpful and pleasant. When picking up dresses at a "will call" counter I have always been treated cordially and with casual conversation..I get some remarks about the huge mark downs; a $70 dress at 80%. It always seems the younger the sales associate the friendlier.

The only times I have had snarky or unpleasant encounters, it has always been with older women. I think they were from the by-gone years when anything out of the ordinary was viewed with negativity. Once I went into A Catherine's to buy a set of my favorite full slips in black and white. I could see the rack by the window when I approached. When I entered the store it was as if space aliens had invaded. I was dressed in business attire; shirt and tie, slacks, shaved. Two women were so edgy it was bordering on rudeness. At three other Catherine's I was treated as a valued customer. They were friendly. Once at a JC Penny I bought a Vanity Fair foundation half slip. An older woman gave me a snarky comment, "Oh, you even got the right size!"

Over the years I worked cash registers and I know how boring and mundane things can get. I always chat a cashier up. After awhile some are like family. My favorite I have known since 1976. My advice is to never talk down to anyone. Sometimes a brief word, even to the average person on the street, will wake them out of a funk.

[Vickie_CDTV]

She probably didn't mean anything by what she said. She may or may not have read you anyway, which happens to most of us.