A feminine mindset

[emmarinn]

Last week I was window shopping on Amazon and I came across a recommendation of a hormonal balance support supplement. I've never tried something like this before and I don't think I want to without seeing a doctor first, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious about it so I clicked on it and started reading reviews. Most of the reviews were from girls who seemed happy with the results they were getting from taking these pills.

Something that caught my attention was that a lot of girls said they were getting into a more feminine mind or experimenting more feminine emotions and sex drive. This resonated with me because some of the thoughts/feelings I experiment when I dress can easily be part of a "feminine mindset" but I guess I never cared to give it a name.

I kept thinking about it and I found myself wondering what did these girls mean when they said they were feeling more feminine. I know words can mean different things to different people, so I'm asking my fellow CD girls and GG girls in this forum, if you feel you have one, what does it mean to you to have a feminine mind? What makes you feel feminine?

For me, one of the big things I experience is self love. I'm a lot more nurturing and compassionate with myself about the things I say, think, do, etc. I say this because for me, self love is something that is very hard to access or something I totally forget about when I'm in boy mode.

TL;DR what do you think a feminine mindset is?

Sorry for the long intro, I felt I needed to provide context so the question didn't feel vague or generic.

xx, Emma

[susanmichelle]

Emma, curiously is all well and good but I would never recommend taking anything to do with hormones especially off the internet. My suggestion if your really interested in doing that go see a gender specific doctor to first off will know from talking to you just how far you might want to go and if you fit into that lifestyle. That doesn?t mean your going to have surgery or anything like that. Many just want to use hrt after the doctor thinks it would be right for you and then either prescribe what would be correct to you and the correct doses for you as well, or send you to another doctor who would prescribe your medication from there. I?ve heard that some of the so called reviews are made up to help sell you something like estrogen or other drugs that might not even be legitimate. Just my 2 cents.

[DianeT]

I think a feminine mindset from a crossdresser point of view is based on how we conceptualize women. It doesn't necessarily have much to do with how women actually feel and think. It's more a femininity as seen through a male distorsion lens, based on what we know from women (which includes a lot of stereotypes) and bits of what we love or dislike about them thrown in the mix.

[char GG]

Mod warning:

Before this thread goes too far, just remember these rules:


The discussion of ANY herbal medication and any kind of supplements for ANY reason is prohibited
The discussion of ANY over the counter medication for ANY reason is prohibited

Feel free to discuss what you feel the feminine mindset is but do not discuss the prohibited topics.

[char GG]

Please remember the source. You were on a site that is there to sell things. My thought is that the reviews were possibly fake. Most GG's that I know already have a "feminine mindset".

[Teri Ray]

Why would any male have a desire to wear female attire if they didn't have some form of "feminine mindset?" I figure you either have it or you don't.

[Star01]

I have a switchable mindset. When I am out digging in the yard it switches to the work and hand. I have seen women laying in the dirt on a 95 degree day changing gears in the quick change rear end of a race car and non crossdressing men do things that are traditionally considered feminine.

The idea that women must be a certain way because they are women and that is their role seems kind of dated. I raised my daughters to think they are capable of doing anything. If they want to fly fighter jets or drive non-wing sprint cars that is fine. It seems to me that we are sometimes guilty of being set in a traditional gender role mindset and this is the last place I would expect to see that. Women and crossdressers by extension are not obligated to adhere to 1950s era gender stereotypes.

[docrobbysherry]

I've met 100's of dressers in person. Including a couple who I liked that fully transitioned! But, even tho they looked like women and had female bits? I wasn't aroused because their personalities didn't seem female!:thumbsdn:

In fact, over the last 12+ years of meeting T's from all over, I can only think of 2 that had a female mind set! They seemed to think and act like women! They were the only ones that made me feel like I was with a woman.:battingeyelashes:

The idea that u can take anything that will make u think like a female may be just another CD fantasy!:sad:

[DianeT]

Why would any male have a desire to wear female attire if they didn't have some form of "feminine mindset?"
Teri my initial reason for dressing was a fascination for the female body, and it didn't really change over the years. When I dress, my mindset is very much masculine, and although I want to experience the crossover, I don't actually feel "feminine" (as in sharing some inner woman experience) for a second. I suppose that I am not the only one on this board feeling this way.

[LilSissyStevie]

What DianeT said. It's just a bunch of stereotypes just like masculine stereotypes. Have fun with them but don't take them too seriously.

[Aunt Kelly]

First of all, there are very good reasons for the rule against discussion of herbal concoctions here - they are potentially dangerous, not to mention the fact that they just don't work.

As for the whole "mindset" question... While it is true that HRT (following a protocol that is recognized as safe and effective) can produce changes to the brain that are more common in AFAB subjects, little to no research has been done to document the effects of those changes. There is no evidence to support the myth commonly promulgated on this platform that HRT medications have their own psychotropic effect. At the same time, there is ample evidence the mere act of taking on HRT has an effect on one's psyche. After a few months, I can tell you that it is the physical manifestations of that therapy, as subtle as they are at this stage, which make me "feel more like a girl", but that's the whole point - aligning the body with what's already there in the psyche.

I think Doc Sherry's observation is most astute. We are the product of our upbringing and socialization. We are programmed, if you will, to respond to various situations in gender specific ways. Neither medication nor manner of dress is going to magically undo that programming.

[emmarinn]

Hey all, first of all thank you for sharing :) Also, I want to clarify that I wasn't planning on taking any pills, supplements or any other stuff and that I wasn't trying to find out if what the people in the reviews said was true or not. I know pills can't change the way we were raised and the things we learned while growing up.

I brought up the reviews because they prompted me to think about what other CDs like me and GGs consider "feminine" traits in their personalities, whether they believe these traits are stereotypes or not. I hear this word often, sometimes used by women to describe themselves and/or other women.

IMO, femininity can be anything a woman can do or be. That said, DianeT summed it up pretty good for me when it comes to a CDs point of view. I'll never truly feel or think like a woman because I didn't grow up like one and I'm not on the path to physically become one.

I guess I just wanted to talk to real people and hear what they had to say about what they perceived as feminine in their lives nowadays instead of reading some random article or list on google. But now that I think about it, I can see how this discussion can get out of hand if we all start listing personality traits. 🤔

[Maid_Marion]

I find it much easier to socialize when presenting as a women. It is awkward when I present as a guy even though I'm AMAB.
The difficulty with learning social interactions is that they happen so quickly. I notice what I've done after I've done them.
I'm not on HRT as I have no need to do so.

Marion

[Barbara Jo]

A male might be considered ultra masculine. So, what is a masculine mindset ?
Conversely, a female can be considered ultra feminine.
Neither one has little to do with someone's unique physical appearance.

However, we all know how masculinity and femininity differ.

So if someone feels feminine, it should be self explanatory and no profound explanation is needed.
The only question would be is just how feminine they feel as degrees of femininity can vary, just as there are degrees of masculinity.

Through the years, I have had females tell me such thins like, their ample breast, or wearing a skirt/ dress etc, make them fell more feminine. Does that Sound familiar?

Consider that Dolly Parton has said a few times that if she was not born a female she would be a drag queen because she loves all things feminine and feeling feminine so much.
I believe that most (males and females) know exactly what she means. :)

BTW... 1in 1984 Susan Brownmiller wrote a book called "Femininity". One chapter was devoted to female clothes. She maintained restrictive female clothes and shoes make many females feel more feminine. Again, does that sound familiar?

Finally , let's not confuse "femininity" with "Feminism" as they are two totally different things . :)

[Miel GG]

I'll never truly feel or think like a woman because I didn't grow up like one and I'm not on the path to physically become one.
True ! And you cannot find any magic potion online to do so ;)

If you want a GG's point of view on femininity, please have a look on our answers here :Ask-a-GG-Three (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?269801-Ask-a-GG-Three) see #3 to #8 and #15 :)

[Micki_Finn]

So, the problem with discussing a “feminine mindset” is that you are necessarily defining what sort of “thoughts” are right or wrong for women. Women are not a monolith and they all think differently. In fact, most of our ideas about feminine vs masculine are based on arbitrary societal values and not biology.

- - - Updated - - -



IMO, femininity can be anything a woman can do or be. This is sticky. What sorts of things can women be or do that?s different from men?

[JoanneNY]

Give Birth !

[Barbara Jo]

Like I said.....


Finally , let's not confuse "femininity" with "Feminism" as they are two totally different things .

IMO some of the replies seem to be addressing the latter.

[Micki_Finn]

Give Birth !

But not every woman can give birth. Would that make her not a woman or not feminine? See how sticky it gets when you try to say “women are this”?

- - - Updated - - -

And Barbra Jo, there’s no way to address one without the other unless you just choose to accept the old Patriarchal definition that was imposed on women. Feminism is women’s voice on femininity and it cannot just be discounted out of hand in a discussion like this.

[Beverley Sims]

I was given a hormone regimen when I was twenty, yes it does play with the mind.

Beware!

[Karren H]

Since I am not a woman I really do not know what a feminine mindset is... pretty sure I don?t have one... the clothes and makeup make me feel more feminine but I still think like a guy. Doing stupid guy things. Which my wife reminds me of that all the time.

[Barbara Jo]

Feminism is women?s voice on femininity

That is not the definition of feminism

Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.(in society) and it has nothing to do with femininity/being feminine.

[Miel GG]

That is not the definition of feminism

Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.(in society) and it has nothing to do with femininity/being feminine.
The definition of femininity is the product of our way of thinking of the female sex and gender which are of course under the influence of patriarchy in western societies. Being feminist is also call into question the 'traditional'/ordinary definition of femininity.

[DianeT]

However, we all know how masculinity and femininity differ.

Barbara Jo, this would imply that we all share a common core definition of what masculinity and femininity is, and yet, when you actually ask that question to a group, everyone answers it in different ways. We should probably let go these femininity and masculinity concepts, because they are chimeras, nobody understands the same thing when they hear it and to be honest I think few people ask themselves what they mean exactly, given the difficulty they have to explain it when asked.

If we leave the "feminine" out of the OP's question, the question becomes: Do you experience personality alterations when presenting as female?
Brain plasticity is good but probably not good enough to allow clothes to reconfigure your wiring in a split second, so essentially, if you answer "yes" to the question and you never feel feminine in other circumstances, it simply means you roleplay when dressing.

- - - Updated - - -


I've met 100's of dressers in person. Including a couple who I liked that fully transitioned! But, even tho they looked like women and had female bits? I wasn't aroused because their personalities didn't seem female!:thumbsdn:
Doc, let's be honest. You had an unfair advantage: you knew they were not women at birth. It's like a wine blind test where you would keep the labels on the bottles. If you had done a Turing test with the same persons, I bet you would have been fooled quite a few times.

Let me tell you a story: back in 2006 I used to play the World of Warcraft online multiplayer game. I started with a human male priest but didn't like watching this pile of muscles with a moustache in front of me for hours on end. I saw a few mages throwing cool fireballs and started a female one. I chose a human too, which gave me a blonde cutie with long hair (a mistake I did not make again). At least that character was nicer to look at when playing, and although not a member of a guild at that time, was frequently invited and re-invited in groups and made new friends fast. Since almost no one was using in-game voice communications at the time, nobody knew the gender of the person behind the keyboard. I do jokes on these forums, and did then when playing. That is my personality (or mindset if you allow me this little semantic shift). I was just being me, but in the shape of a female avatar. I wasn't trying to fool anyone, and took care of not stereotyping my character by acting cute or otherwise "gendering" my character. Essentially, I was playing and having fun with other players like I would in any other circumstances. But nobody could see me in flesh.

I wouldn't go as far as pretending this was a legitimate Turing test, but you get the idea.

And here is what happened: I was hit on frequently by all kinds of players, sometimes young, sometimes more mature, and even harassed by an obnoxious nitwit (nice glimpse of what female players can endure). And endlessly asked what my gender was (worth noting, this never happened once when playing my male characters!). Obviously, quite a few people thought I could be a female player (not counting those who did not even mention it). Am I good enough to change my personality in an instant to a point where I easily fool people? Of course not. The explanation as I see it is very simple: while many of us think we could tell a woman from a man any time personality-wise, we actually can't. The feminine and masculine personalities are simply indistinguishable. My perceived "femininity" was solely in the eye of the beholder. I looked like a woman (a bit pixelated, mind you), which biased players into thinking I probably was one (because, like a player once replied after I told him I wasn't, it's "so weird to play a female character when you are a guy". Sure, and you should go tell all male players of the Tomb Raider license that they need to get their act together).

You may not agree with the "indistinguishable" statement above. If you don't, can I suggest that you ask yourself this question (for members mainly identifying as male): biologic-related topics aside, is there any personality trait that you have that a woman couldn't have? Any thought that crosses your mind that couldn't cross a a female brain?

[Barbara Jo]

Come on people..... we all know who is masculine and who is feminine in our culture .

For the last and final time ....." feminism." is simply a range of movements that calls for equality of the sexes under the law so females can not be discriminated ageist in favor of males .
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=feminism.

[Maid_Marion]

Feminism is Taylor Swift re-recording her old songs to take back ownership of them.
Now when one of her fans has Love Song performed at wedding the royalty fee goes to Taylor Swift and not "the rich man" whom she hates.
The re-release of Love Song not only dropped this weekend, but is already doing very well as measured by download sales.
In three days the YouTube video has 11M views and 1M likes. Her YouTube channel has 41M subscibers.

It is more than a dispute between wealthy people. It sets an example for her millions of fans. Many of whom are smart and well educated.
They enjoy solving puzzles. She puts clues in her work and her fans use social media to discuss hidden meanings.

Marion

[Star01]

Case in point. My 14 year old granddaughter is into all the stereotypical girl things, makeup, jewelry, doing girl things with her friends. The deer hunting season rolls along and she is out sitting in orange hunting clothes waiting for a deer to come by her stand. She is smart and pretty and wants to drive a stock car at the local dirt track and hangs around the garage and helps work on cars.

That description of what it means to be a woman is more common than not in the rural area I live in. Most of those flannel and denim ladies are like that but are able to clean up and look nice when necessary.

If I was dressing full time and going in public or transitioning I can?t see my interests changing. I am still going to play hard rock, watch the same sports and action shows and get prettied up when the situation calls for it. I have been going to therapy for gender issues for a year but not with the idea of suddenly bring ultra feminine. I would still like all the same things just like my granddaughter will get all prettied up for the prom but will help weld the roll cage into their enduro car the next day.

[GretchenM]

Gender is not something that you have; it is something that you do. It is behavior and behavior is generated in the brain. Neurologically, males and females are far more alike than they are different. They appear to be different because we tend to cherry pick the traits and characteristics by focusing only on that which defines the differences while de-emphasizing the vast similarities. Perhaps the really awful terms of masculine and feminine are opposite sides of a single coin rather than being two separate coins as most people think of it. The metal between the two sides matters and what goes on in that narrow, unseen space is really important. Most males have a lot of female-like behaviors by virtue of the fact that most males and females use those same traits in about equal proportions. The reverse is equally valid. Thus we are all different and therefore, in a quirky sort of way, we are all equal. But even those behaviors that are different have been found to have a huge overlap and brain plasticity means that it all is constantly undergoing changes as we experience the world in which live.

Thus, stereotypes arise when we only focus on the differences. It is like viewing a vast landscape through a pair of binoculars that allow us to see only bits and pieces and not the totality. Gender is really all about identity, you sense of self, your view of your place in that vast landscape after you put down the binoculars and take it all in. Males and females may see different things in that landscape, but that comes from personal preferences as to what is important in the context your sense of self.

I think Micki came really close to describing this kind of view and perception of gender. Thanks, Micki, great response. There are differences but there are a vast number of similarities that cannot be ignored and compose to totality of those things that "are based on arbitrary societal values and not biology." Gender is most likely a blend of genetic determination blended and extensively modified by a vast array of personal experiences that fine tune the fundamental identity. A blending of the determined with the freedom of choice.

[Star01]

I forgot to mention that my granddaughter raises and is an authority on chickens. Or I should say that she was until some animal got into the chicken coop one night and killed them all. She was out there cleaning up dead chicken parts of her named chickens so they were like pets in some respects. She did not do the cleanup in a frilly dress and she she proclaimed that no #%@& chicken killers better come around again or she would blow them to bits with her shotgun.

This is my world and why I struggle to relate to the over the top characterization of femininity I often see expressed in posts.

[Miel GG]

For the last and final time ....." feminism." is simply a range of movements that calls for equality of the sexes under the law so females can not be discriminated ageist in favor of males .
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=feminism.

I disagree. First of all, there is not one feminism but several feminisms.

Secondly, to fight a discrimination you have to understand the mechanism leading to this discrimination. A long line of feminists have studied, analyzed and described those mechanisms in order to be able to identify the changes needed... in the Law for instance. This constitutes a substantial part of Feminism also.

Third, to come back to the OP matter, I assume you didn't read 'The second Sex' written by the famous Simone de Beauvoir (do it please). Way before anyone talked about Gender, she stated that Femininity is not intrinsic, has nothing to do with biology or psychology but is simply a societal construction. In her words 'One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman'. A thought we might all meditate.

[Barbara Jo]

If some want to change the definition of feminism for something they like better better, it will not change the real definition of it
I honestly can not comprehend why some refuse to accept the real definition.
I even posted al link to feminism .

This will be my last word on this . I did not create the definition, feminist did .

[char GG]

It seems many here view "feminine" as perhaps clothes, or old society norms. When in fact, I believe feminine is just being comfortable and happy being born a female and pursuing whatever interests we find interesting. I've never found roadblocks in my path for the activities that interest me, even if they aren't the "traditional" roles that my mother and grandmother followed.

Most of my interests are not what my mother considered "female" pursuits. I refuse to be put in a box that would call me a feminist or have someone define me with a label. That is the beauty of living in this century. I feel fortunate that there were those women before me who fought society expectations so that I don't have to. No one expects me to "be someone that I'm not".

[Wen4cd]

The subject of what 'femininity' actually is... is a deep, esoteric discussion that must reach past your own perceptions and conceits and the current zeitgeist. I am sure it is nice to think of it in simple terms.

Jung had a lot to say on the subject, if your Google fingers are cirious.

[Cheryl T]

Well, not knowing what a "feminine mindset" actually is I can't really say that I have one.
That being said I "feel" that I have that type of mindset. I certainly react differently to things than many of my male friends. I tend to think of many things in a way that I believe a woman does so maybe I do have that mindset.
Who really knows?

[Barbara Jo]

What is consider "feminine" can indeed be different for different cultures.
When I said we all know what being feminine is, I assumed it was understood that I was referring to the Americas and most of Europe.... where most cultures in those countries are similar.
I did say "In our Culture". :)

[sometimes_miss]

In her words 'One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman'. A thought we might all meditate.
And yet, there are distinct differences in how females and males perceive the world, and differences in how we interact with each other. One simple one is, when a woman is mad at a man, she will often give him the silent treatment to make him understand how angry she is. But men LOVE silence, so we don't get the clue at all. We can go for days without talking to our friends, even weeks, months or years, and don't think that anythings wrong at all; we can go for decades, meet someone from 40 years ago, and pick up right where we left off. But a woman whose friend gives HER the silent treatment will definitely think that there's something wrong in a matter of days.
Most women define their lives more by their relationships, than by what they do. Men, OTOH, define their lives by what they do and have done.
And there's so much more.

For Emmarinn, try reading some of the books by Alan and Barbara Pease, start off with 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps'. There are others, but that one is a quick easy read, which will give you insight into how men and women think differently, and why. Here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alan+and+barbara+pease+why+men+and+women&ref=nb_sb_noss

All their books on this subject will help you understand whether you are more feminine minded or masculine minded.

[emmarinn]

So, the problem with discussing a “feminine mindset” is that you are necessarily defining what sort of “thoughts” are right or wrong for women.

Not necessarily. There can be as many mindsets as there are people. And more than one of those mindsets can be defined as "feminine" by the people who operate in them. Even in the same thread in the same forum, different women can have different definitions of femininity and neither of them are less feminine than the other, imo.


This is sticky. What sorts of things can women be or do that?s different from men?

What I meant is that only women can define what femininity is because they are the ones who actually live as women. This goes beyond the clothing, practices and/or occupations. Men don't get to say what's feminine and what's not, simply because men are not women.


The definition of femininity is the product of our way of thinking of the female sex and gender which are of course under the influence of patriarchy in western societies. Being feminist is also call into question the 'traditional'/ordinary definition of femininity.

I think this ties in with what I just mentioned. That definition changes all the time, as more and more women shape it to what they think it's best for them.


If we leave the "feminine" out of the OP's question, the question becomes: Do you experience personality alterations when presenting as female?

I was not talking about shifting personalities or role-playing. I think I could have done a better job asking the original question. I was asking people what have they learned or adopted from women in their lives.


What is consider "feminine" can indeed be different for different cultures.

This is where the original question was coming from. We all have different backgrounds and we all have different women in our lives with different definitions of femininity.


True ! And you cannot find any magic potion online to do so ;)

If you want a GG's point of view on femininity, please have a look on our answers here :Ask-a-GG-Three (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?269801-Ask-a-GG-Three) see #3 to #8 and #15 :)

Thank you for pointing me in that direction. I read it last night. It was very enlightening. I didn't know a similar question was already asked and answered by multiple GGs. Last time I checked those stickies were long dead so I didn't bother to check them again. Will pay more attention next time.

@sometimes_Miss, I'll check those books out!

Thanks all :)

[DianeT]

For Emmarinn, try reading some of the books by Alan and Barbara Pease, start off with 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps'. There are others, but that one is a quick easy read, which will give you insight into how men and women think differently, and why.

Or see this: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-can-read-maps-just-as-well-as-men-says-science_n_5845b69ae4b055b313988e15/amp?guccounter=1
Also choices of words matter, so this title:
- Men DON'T
- Women CAN'T
Mmmh.

[Miel GG]

And yet, there are distinct differences in how females and males perceive the world, and differences in how we interact with each other.

And yet, more and more researches results show that those differences haven't a scientific base and are only the result of a cultural construction. I think GretchenM has already mentioned the brain plasticity in her posts... It is a perfect example : different brain stimulations for boys and girls, different cognitive fonction developments for men and women under the effect of cultural injonctions. But the good news is : all is reversible ! So if we wanted to we could produce men unable to read a map or women who wouldn't listen. Lol.

[JennyMay]

Interesting, I just misread this thread title and saw it as a feminist mindset. I think that may have something to say to this discussion. I think I am a feminist though I would say that very quietly in most company. I am more and more angry at the injustices and oppression that women have suffered, and continue to suffer. One saying that resonates with me is that a man’s greatest fear is that a woman will laugh at him and a woman’s greatest fear is that a man will kill her. That, I think is basic to the feminine mindset.

[Maid_Marion]

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/taylor-swift-love-story-taylors-version/
Taylor Swift is now wearing Romeo's shirt as a mature women!

An interpretation of this is that she is no longer a teenager looking for Romeo.
Instead, she IS Romeo. And with great power comes great responsibility. The Peter Parker Principle.

She took great pains to make sure the only one who got hurt was "the man."
The musicians who recorded the originals were brought back for the re-recordings so they continue to get paid.

If you watch the video there is lot of diversity depicted. About as much as can be reasonably expected with the premise that only Taylor Swifties get to appear in the video.
No body shaming here. GGs of all shapes and sizes are included.

When I grew up it men typically got credit for the work on women. The men were the bosses and made it possible for the women to do what they did, so the reasoning went.
This is changing. Women are increasingly able to get credit for the hard work they did.

Katalin Kariko is the scientist behind the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. She had the key idea and stuck with it for decades.

Marion

[sometimes_miss]

And yet, more and more researches results show that those differences haven't a scientific base and are only the result of a cultural construction. I think GretchenM has already mentioned the brain plasticity in her posts... It is a perfect example : different brain stimulations for boys and girls, different cognitive fonction developments for men and women under the effect of cultural injonctions. But the good news is : all is reversible ! So if we wanted to we could produce men unable to read a map or women who wouldn't listen. Lol.

Children's behavior in nursery schools and child care, show that females demonstrate different behavior than males; they show parallel play earlier and more often than males, and this continues through development. Lots more. Hard to be cultural construction at that age.

Aggressive behavior in very young boys perhaps influenced by testosterone, as well.
There are differences, observed at much too young ages for them to be cultural caused.

Also, if you read Timothy Perper's 'Sex signals: The biology of love', you will find behavior which is found throughout the world, no matter which culture you observe. Check out the references at the end of the book, too, also interesting reading.
There are differences.

[Barbara Jo]

Consider this.......

It is a fallacy that all humans start out as a female in the womb.
However, human brains do all start out as female brains.

If the fetus is female, they are all set with the correct brain
It it is male, at about the 13th week of pregnancy, the brain is flooded with testosterone to turn it male.

This where a problem can arise.
A female brain might be mistakenly flooded with testosterone at varying levels .... or a male bran can can fail to be flooded with it at varying levels

this is why society can not really dictate how a human acts in regards to what sex they feel they are and how masculine or feminine they want to be..

Evolution made us what we are but, we did not evolve perfectly.
The human body also has a few physical design flaws that can case problems. :)

[Miel GG]

Children's behavior in nursery schools and child care, show that females demonstrate different behavior than males; they show parallel play earlier and more often than males, and this continues through development. Lots more. Hard to be cultural construction at that age.

Aggressive behavior in very young boys perhaps influenced by testosterone, as well.
There are differences, observed at much too young ages for them to be cultural caused.

Also, if you read Timothy Perper's 'Sex signals: The biology of love', you will find behavior which is found throughout the world, no matter which culture you observe. Check out the references at the end of the book, too, also interesting reading.
There are differences.

It seems difficult for you to change your conceptions about gender. I understand that some CDs have built up their own long standing imaginary woman and maybe it is your case. However fantasy must remain what it is and not interfere with reality. Reality is being conscious of how our lives from birth to death are under control of gendered mechanisms who create artificial differences and produce inequalities.

Children
In fact at age 2 children have already categorised a lot of information by gender and know a good number of gender stereotypes (studies references available on demand). Scientists say that new borns seem to have incipient cognitive skills like classification. Gender is a very simple classification but in the same time omnipresent so the children are easily able to use it. Simply add a good dose of stereotyped adults around whom children will imitate (social imitation) and you get the perfect recipe to create a lot of stereotyped boys and girls. Congrats ;) But again, thanks to brain plasticity, we can undo what was done if we want to.

Testosterone
I assume you are referring to this old study about prisoners, violence and testosterone. The problem is that study shows a correlation between violence and testosterone... not causality. It is a huge difference! On the contrary brain plasticity calls in question the idea of a brain under hormonal control. Therefore testosterone doesn't justify men's violence any more than oxytocin explains woman's sweetness.
Did you know that mothers' facial expressions are different with a baby boy or a baby girl? The baby boy is emotionally underchallenged, and in the long run that leaves him with only anger to express himself.

I will have a look at the book you mentioned.

NB : emmarin sorry to interfere with your post.

[Teresa]

Barbara,
The development after conception is known to be naturally female , the sexual organs develop depending on the chromosomes but the brain developes some weeks later to designate sexuality , that is where the problem can occur as the two don't always align .

Gretchen,
I feel you are correct in saying on a daily basis male and female are similar in their outlook and as you go onto say we do tend to select the traits we choose more attractive as they can be considerd more female than male . As I've mentioned before I made excuses not to do certain jobs because they weren't feminine enough but I had to do them so I found a compromise by buying women's work clothes , so no more excuses and found it is possible to do any job I used to do in male mode .

Star,
To a point I agree with you , now I'm fulltime my interests remain the same as they were in male mode but now I've extended them to include things I can enjoy living as a female , this is why I feel a complete person now . I'm no longer locked in a male straightjacket .

I admit I no longer wish to crawl under my car to fix the exhaust or change the engine oil , I find I'm not as capable anymore and tend to beak things so I accept I now pay my garage to do those jobs , it maybe cheaper in the long run .

[Barbara Jo]

Yes we all started out as sort of female but only briefly .

The following is a cut and paste from the net but it explains it much better than I can :)

"........In fact, the first five to six weeks of embryonic development are attributed to the X chromosome alone, and females grow from embryo to fully developed through the influence of only the X chromosome,.

When it comes to males, after that five- or six-week period, a gene called the SRY gene will activate on the Y chromosome, and actively inhibit certain features of the X chromosome. It will also impose, through genetic dominance, male physiological traits such as the testicles. This means that if the SRY gene is not activated, the female phenotype and physical appearance - which means clitoris instead of penis - will persist.

And what about nipples, I hear you ask? Nipples form before the activation of the SRY gene, during those fateful five or six weeks, which means we all get nipples, but only the females end up with breasts attached to them"

I said it was a fallacy because some seem to think that males were more of a complete female before being transformed into a male. :)

[Miel GG]

Yes we all started out as sort of female but only briefly .

Not quite, according to embryologists, for all vertebrates including us the primordium (embryonic draft of gonads) is bipotential. Not female nor male. I like that :)