Do you just walk straight out the door

[Princess29]

I guess this question is aimed at anyone who isn't full time and covers pre covid and currently and live where there are neighbours in close proximity


For those who go out dressed up, do you just dress how you like and just walk out the front door, get in your car (or Uber or Bus or whatever) and go out?

Or do you feel that you want or need to avoid your neighbours (for what they might say or do) and so do things like dress up, cover up to get to your vehicle and then put everything together once you are away from home?

Or do you go to somewhere like a hotel before going out?

[Aunt Kelly]

When I still worried about the neighbors, I'd leave the house with my wig and purse in a bag, and wearing a hoodie to hide my books a and gem top. Good enough to get from door to my vehicle without being made. My neighbors are seldom outside so that simple dodge worked fine. Now? I really don't worry about it. I will be out them all eventually, so sooner or later doesn't much matter. YMMV, of course.
I have several friends who are not full time. Some of them will take hotel room as their base for an outing.

[UsuallyRick]

Well, I do my chores(precovid) feed the chickens, harvest stuff in the garden, pull weeds in garden (6000sq ft garden partially sheltered..) and mow back yard in full gem mode, not really caring what neighbors think, but now wife is working from home and not many chances to get dolled up anymore.. she knows I wear women's clothing as 25+ years together and have always worn panties and had shaved legs and long hair plus I leave my corsets in sight along with skirts and dresses, wigs,pantyhose high heel boots etc plus pre kids and teenage kid era Halloween outings as Lita Ford and a Lady hunter and Poison Ivy... but I know she likes my manly side so don't usually do it around her.. when her and the kids went to Michigan for a week I was full dressup the whole time,pink nails and makeup !! Heaven!!! Went for groceries several times😁And hit up the local Wal Mart to try on some pretty dresses and outfits along with goodwill as fem and male shopping for cute boots and cute dresses even trying them on, it was fun getting some looks with a limit on dresses etc going to changing room to try them on!!!
I long to be confident enough to talk more to wife and be able to dressup with/around her more.. and more so the idea of her helping or us going shopping ...
so short answer, go for it !!!

[Taylor Dame]

I have woods on each side of my house, and the house across the street is 100 yards away. I have no problem leaving fully dressed. Since we have an attached garage, I usually just get in the car and leave from there.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

I do what ever I have to do. Usually, I get totally dressed and made up, get in my car in the garage, remove my wig and ear rings, put on big lady sun glasses and drive out. I stop after 3-4 miles and recover my previous look and drive where ever I wish. It is unlikely that someone would recognize me even from close range. I believe that it works for me.

[candykowal]

I have a grab-n-go bag I put my heels, skirt, wig, and purse in ...when I walk to my detached garage.
I am fully underdressed in lingerie, wear slippers and sweatpants. I wear my blouse under a hoodie or jacket, full makeup under sunglasses and a hat.
Once in the garage I will dress from hips down and drive away. Stop at a local free parking garage or forest preserve and put on my wig, earrings, and take off the hoodie.
In my purse, I have make up wipes and I will clean my makeup off and reverse the process before I get close to home.
The Grab-n-go bag is the key as it isn't too big but still holds my purse and a full compliment of essentials.
Don't forget an extra pair of nylons in case you get a run in one! :heehee:

[Micki_Finn]

I do just go out. I’m sure the neighbors have noticed, but I don’t know them and don’t really care what they think. Ironically, my drag mother is much more apprehensive about being seen in drag by “muggles.” This is a queen who has competed in pageants and performed on some of the biggest drag stages. The difference being that I’m a city boy and he was raised in the country where people would shout and sometimes even throw things if they saw a drag queen walking around.

Of course what we do is Drag which is much more ostentatious than how most of the girls here dress so we definitely stand out more.

[jamienoir]

I live on the bottom floor of a triple family house (the third floor is just for one person). The neighbor houses on both sides are literally about 20' away. Going to the detached garage is like Mission Impossible.

[Geena75]

My extent of 'going out' has been to get in the truck and a short 15-20 minute drive a couple times. I live rural, the nearest neighbor is over 200 yards away, but the road is only about 20 yards from the house. I am parked about 15 yards away from the door, in the open. Hence, while I am fully dressed (as much as I get) I check to see if any traffic is coming (or if the fields around the place are being worked) then walk briskly to the truck, and the same when I get home.

[ClairFlair]

If wife is home, grab my go bag and change in nearby parking deck. Underdressed to begin with.

If house to myself, get in car in garage, butt first swivel legs in, and open door pull out and drive away.

Word of caution, always take a set of athletic shorts and tee with you just in case someone gets home before you unexpectedly.

[CynthiaD]

I just walk out the side door. That's where my car is parked. I make no effort to avoid the neighbors.

[Stephanie_V]

I live in a boarding house currently and I walk right out the door. Several other tenants have seen me but none have yet to say a word about it. I use to do the hoodie thing and parking lot thing, but decided why bother? Especially after the property manager (Who knew I dressed) had jokingly commented once about tenants mentioning a woman coming and going occasionally :)

[Beverley Sims]

When I was covert I would try and avoid neighbours.

Stealth was the practice then.

Now days, "What Me Worry"

[Princess29]

I live in an apartment building and have to walk past at least 2 units to get to my car. My one neighbour is always home (even before covid) of a night time and leaves his front door open and sits in his lounge, facing the door and I have to walk within about a metre of his door and he usually is still up when I get home.
Although he has seen my clothes hung out on the communal clothes line and I believe I have told him what I do, I still don't feel comfortable walking past his place (I can go a different way but it is past 4 apartments and a lot longer).
Mind you, I don't really have a lot of places that I feel comfortable doing anyway, even before Covid.

[docrobbysherry]

When I leave during daylite? I wear a jacket to hide my dress or top. A baseball cap and no wig. Put it on later. And shades to hide my make up!:devil:

When I'm in a hotel? Even tho I've been to countless T events I STILL take a deep breath just before leaving my room!:eek:

[Rachelakld]

I'm on good terms with Chris, Mark, Dom and their wives.
Dom and his wife have seen me and chatted while I've been dressed.

My wife is more "reputation" orientated and says "what will the neighbours think".
For some reason, women tend to feel it's their fault we're CDers, that maybe the neighbours will think we're all gay (quite a few of my neighbours have gay children)

[Maria 60]

I go to my car without my wig and heels and when I drive away I take off my pants and jacket and put everything on usally in a parking lot. In the winter its much easier because I put on a hoodie but still have to wear pants. When it's late I will take the chance and walk back in my house dressed.

[Teresa]

Princess,
While you say it's not aimed at those full time , in fact I feel it does include us , Ihope yoiu accpet my reply .

I admit it's now much easier fro me now I live alone but when I moved to my new home I found ways very quickly to introduce muself to neighbours and tell them I'm TG so if they saw a blond outside my home it would be me .

It took a while few weeks to bring myself to openly garden and mow my frontage and was a little cautious of wearing something too revealing in my back garden . Now after three years they don't have a problem with me . I would say they would be more disappointed if I reverted to male mode .

I guess I reached the stage sometime ago that it's not dress up anymore , this is me fullstop !!

Lets not forget when I visit anyone now it's as Teresa so I'm not just dealing with my own neighbours anymore .

[MonicaPVD]

I am in a LTR and my wife does not approve, so I have never had the opportunity to dress at home or come and go as Monica. I used to travel often for work and being Monica with me. I also became very adept at changing inside my car when going out. I must admit that I tried that again recently and instead of taking my usual 20 minutes, I was shuffling inside the cramped quarters for nearly an hour. We do what we can with what we've got.

[Princess29]

The covering up is easier in winter, I agree. I put everything on and just a hoodie over it and walk out the door. In summer, it is just too hot dressed in boring boy mode, let alone with a wig and extra layers on.

I don't know what I am worried about losing. I am single, have no friends or no social standing to lose and my family member already know about melissa

[jessica33]

I don't think my immediate neighbors are watching me like a hawk so I just walked to the car on the driveway. Besides , my car has dark tinted glass. No problem so far .

[Connie D50]

My wife and I worry about neighbors so I do have to do some planning ahead moving cars around. then we pull out of the garage and go about our plans. again I don't think in todays world anyone looks close at what's going on around them if its not unusual.

[Angela Marie]

My wife is ok with my dressing but always cautions me about neighbors. We have an attached garage so I do dress fully, wig and all. As I back out of the driveway I always look for cars coming and going. It is relatively close to a road that not many in my development use; so when I reach that point I feel safe. I always have a change of clothes along with makeup remover. Better to be prepared.

[Davina Katherine]

I've always just backed out the drive way. There's almost never anyone around anyway, and nobody knows anybody.

[jamienoir]

To further this: I've always wondered about ladies whose SO didn't approve. Do you just get dressed to the 9's (especially those of us that take a long time) while she is doing something else and walk out the door for dinner, event, party, etc.

Or do you stroll past the unapproving SO and say, "bye dear!" SLAM!! I can imagine the evil eye, the snide comments - especially the girls with sexy attire, good makeup, etc.

[Wen4cd]

These days, yeah, I just do my face, get dressed, grab my bag, and go right out the door to go shopping. I no longer carry an emergency bag to 'switch' back into boy mode at all. (I used to do this, but realized that it was a bit of a 'security blanket' and using it would be a sort of personal defeat.)

If you are worried about the neighbors, just stride with confidence and purpose. It's not an instant process, but confidence will steadily build.

A thing to do in nervous situations, or when you think eyes are on you, is to toy with your celphone and chat up a friend or group of friends, just like anyone else would on their shopping trips.

It helps to have built some confidence in your voice as well. Doesn't have to be perfect, but it should not make you cringe.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think I've done just about everything mentioned above. But, my plan is so complicated, I need a flow chart.

"One if by land; two if by sea" sort of thing.

If my wife and adult daughter are out of the house together, I do most of the dressing at home. I will call my wife when I leave, and she will call me when she is on her way back so that we don't meet each other.

I have a "girl bag" that I take with me that has clothes, makeup and wig, and whatever else I might need. It also has my handbag.

I have an attached garage, so I can go to the garage without being seen. I'll usually get everything into the car and open them garage door with the remote control and drive out of the neighborhood. I will stop somewhere along the way, either a parking lot or garage to finish dressing and putting on my wig.

If there is enough light, I will put on my makeup in the car. If not, I'll find a bathroom at the venue to do my makeup, Usually, I grab stall in the ladies room, but I prefer a single "Family" restroom.

I had a CD friend with an accepting wife and that made it easy to change there. But, they moved to Reno just before the pandemic started. Now, I have an arrangement with another friend who knows about Steffi and is an ally where I can change.

[Cheryl T]

When I first came out fully to the wife and began dressing frequently at home that was a thought.
At first I made sure to avoid the sight of the neighbors, then after a while the wife said "I don't care what the neighbors think" and so I began not worrying either. I would not only leave the house for outings fully dressed but began doing the mundane things like taking out the trash and fetching the mail. That of course escalated to wearing my swimsuit (sometimes a bikini) in the backyard to tan or swim in the pool.
Now it no longer matters so I do most anything indoor or outdoor dressed.

[Princess29]

For a while, I was dating a woman who was fully accepting of melissa and I could get dressed at her place and walk straight out the door which was very liberating

[HollyGreene]

My car is parked only a few feet from my front door. There are tall hedges between my property and the next on both sides.
I just go straight to my car fully dressed and with confidence. I always figured that if a neighbor asked, I'd say that my sister is visiting.

[CayleeMarie]

While my wife is totally ok with my dressing and allows me full acceptance of anything that i want to wear... at home. She is not too keen on my leaving the house dressed. She lives in fear that someone we know will see me and that will cause the universe as we know it and all of its parallel dimensions to get sucked into a microscopic black hole. So needless to say, there are not many opportunities for me to get out dressed. On those rare occasions however, I have the luxury of having an attached garage. So I can get out stealthily without the neighbors seeing. As an added bonus while masks are required most everywhere still, I can still be my MIAD self without drawing too much unwanted attention to myself.

[kayegirl]

I just walk out of the door and either get into my car or simply walk down the street. Most of my neighbours know about Kaye so it's no problem.

[candykowal]

To further this: I've always wondered about ladies whose SO didn't approve. Do you just get dressed to the 9's while she is doing something else and walk out the door for dinner, event, party, etc.
Or do you stroll past the unapproving SO and say, "bye dear!" SLAM!!
Well, as for me, I don't present around my wife, and though we have a DADT relationship, she isn't in the know I have a Candice personna.
But she is independent enough to go out on her own, drive out of state for craft fairs and to visit relatives and she still works.
This affords me, when the planets align, my girly time.
I am sure there are not too many marriages as you suggested....not for long anyway.
If a CDer is dressing while the wife is home, there is some sort of mutual agreement ,,,if they don't approve, CDers are doing there girly time on the sly, at a private office, hotel, or a mistresses place.

[Wen4cd]

My spouse probably does not approve, but we're so estranged that we're basically house-sharing at this point.

If she is in the kitchen, and she hears my door open from my room, she goes into her room so as not to have to see or speak with me.

After so many years of this, I decided that I would just go about the house dressed however I want, and go out shopping how I want, etc.

Since I started dressing all the time on the weekends at home and shopping, she's actually been avoiding me a bit less. We might even be friends again one day.

[Princess Chantal]

I just walk out the door with my head up and no concerns with what I am wearing. I have no shame of my crossdressing whether it be walking out in a mini dress and 5 inch heels or dress up in a Victorian dress and a parasol. Neighbours seem to be more engaging with me when I am prettied up

[Ceera]

It changed for me over time. I am not part time any more, but most of this applies to before I transitioned to full time female life.

When I first started going out en-femme, I only left the house dressed after dark, and quietly slipped out and tried to avoid being noticed by any neighbors. My destination was almost solely LGBTQ nightclubs and bars, where I felt safe and accepted. I was surprised that the lesbian community embraced and accepted me right away. That phase lasted about a year.

As I gained confidence in my appearance, I cared less if I was seen, and started going out a lot more during the day, and going to general public destinations. Yet I still generally tried not to be noticed. I had two distinct circles of friends - those who knew me as a man, including my co-workers, and those who knew me as a woman, and had never seen me as a man. Those two groups did not cross over, except for my daughter, who lived with me. Most of my ‘girl side friends’ were lesbian or bi women, and I began to identify my ‘girl side’ as a primarily lesbian, bisexual woman. I considered myself ‘gender fluid’, switching easily between my male and female roles, but keeping them separated. About another year for that phase.

When I moved to a new town in a new state, still only part time female, I decided I would not hide at all. I was ready to be out of the closet as ‘non binary and Queer’. I was certain most of my social time would be spent as a woman socializing primarily with lesbian and bisexual women, even though I was still legally and physically male. So I came and went as I pleased, and if neighbors commented, I chatted with them in a friendly manner about my habits. I did not go out of my way to avoid conversing with the neighbors, but ai did not eagerly seek to converse with them, either. I started coming out to my male side?s friends and to my family during this time. Coming out at work never happened, because I got laid off (because they were reducing staff prior to a merger, and unrelated to my own activities or performance) and I retired early. It remained that way for the next two years, until I committed to living full time as a woman.

For me, this gradual approach to being seen and interacting with the general community made my transition much easier. My neighbors - at least any of them who I encounter with any regularity - all know and accept me now. I walk my dog in the neighborhood and chat in a friendly manner with anyone I meet, and just enjoy my new life.

[Maid_Marion]

I just walk out the door.

I found it harder to be able to just walk up to the door and talk to someone at the door.

Marion

[Princess29]

Thank you for your responses. Most times when people say, "you're not the only one to go through xyz" (while it is meant to make you feel better) usually it has has no effect at all but the responses on here make me feel better for some reason.
It's still frustrating though

[Stephanie47]

On my street the houses are set on sixty foot wide lots x 140 feet deep. Our front door is seventy feet from the curb. The converted garage door is fifty feet. Our outside lights are not motion activated. When I have the opportunity I exit under cover of darkness the former garage door. My overhead light in my car blew out years ago and I have never replaced it. So, when I open the car door, no light comes on. It's two houses (120 feet) to the corner. Our house is set about six feet above street level. The across the street neighbors door bell camera does not catch the car when it is activated by me coming home. I always wear a dress. No pseudo pants for me. And a low heel with a noise deadening sole.

[ellbee]

I no longer really go out totally en-femme. Only once in a blue moon, these days.

But I used to -- a lot. :devil:


Eh, 99.99% of the time, I'd get ready at home & step out the front door, as is. No covering up, no changing in the car or at a hotel, etc. And I'd come home looking the same way.

I recall there was one time where I gathered up my stuff & left as my guy-self to head over to a friend's house to get ready there. Not even sure why that was. He was a drag queen, we were going clubbing during a Halloween weekend... And maybe I thought it would be fun to get ready together? :strugglin

Turns out, he didn't even get all dolled-up that night! :roflmao:

Actually didn't even really enjoy the experience. Felt too rushed. Different lighting/mirror/set-up. Blah blah blah. The end-result was fine, but I felt "off" during the whole process.



Anyway... Out my own front door was the norm. But I'd be lying if I said it was always easy.


Despite how much past experience you may have under your belt? Sometimes your confidence level might not be where it should be on any given day... Then you happen to look out the window, and some of your neighbors are milling about. How could I leave like this?!? :confused2:

Keep in mind, too, that this was apartment living. Sometimes even with a long hallway, or going down a common stairwell. Multiple buildings clustered together. Bit of a walk to the car. Daytime, or lit up during the evening. Etc., etc.


Yeah, I was seen enough times -- that I even know of, that is. One neighbor (mid-40's male, total jerk) once called me out on it afterwards. Things got a bit heated, heh. Or other examples, GG-neighbors on two separate occasions *alluded* to seeing me all dolled-up walking to my car... They were nice about it & all, but I just played dumb at the time. I eventually came out to one of them... She was pretty cool with it. :thumbsup:



Anyway, bottom line? Just do what you gotta do. Staying at home can get boring... Especially for the younger and/or extroverted crowd.

But once you get out there, if that's what you want to do? Totally worth it! :)

[Princess29]

Our Covid situation in queensland is not so severe as in other parts of the world so we have a lot more freedom of movement in general but I still get nervous just walking out the front door (lived in the same apartment for 12 years and had the same neighbour between me and my car) and he is home basically every night with his front door wide open, watching tv, facing the front door.
I don't really have many places to go anyway so all up, I often don't bother as it will be going out by myself and after many years of that, I really struggle to bother

[Lacyfem]

My goodness I usually get in my car which is parked in the garage and we have a door to it from our home so don't worry about coming out and being seen walking to my car. However, most in the neighborhood do know me and my car so do give a look around when I back out to see whose there as I do think they'd wonder what woman is driving my car as I never bother to to take the wig off and put it on once out of the neighborhood. Frankly, it's exciting that I may be seen as the gurl I love being.

[Ressie]

No, I don't just walk out the door. Neighbors are one thing but I also have relatives in this residential area. And my nephew has been living with me since the pandemic started. I would love to be fancy free but I'm not.

[Edelia]

When I was a teenager (12-15 y.o.) many times I just walked out the door of my house, I don't think someone discovered me, or a neighbor noticed me, there were no consequences but in the eighties I know it was a bad idea.

[Teresa]

Princess,
Is it just a coincidence your neighbour watching TV the way he does or is he intentionally keeping an eye open for you ? I would say 12 years is too long to hide from him , you only have to appear once or just tell him you're TG either way it will soon become normal .

[Princess29]

Hi Teresa
It's just an annoying coincidence. I wish he would take his caravan away more on holidays (he's retired) and the few times he has done that over the years, I have just walked out the front door

[Leslie Mary S]

I live in an area were I do not go out dressed anymore. If I do and get caught, I will have to move. Just my luck the mobile home park manager, about six months ago, moved into the trailer right across the street from me. I normally go out after dark, or pack part of my change and coverup what I am wearing, and then stop at a roadside area and finish changing.

[TheHiddenMe]

More often my issue is getting out of or into my house. My wife knows, but I go out (or at least used to go out), more often than she knew. She would leave the house for some reason (like a bridge game), I would dress and go out, and come back after my "bike ride" (a/k/a my cover story). That meant changing back into boy mode in the car (sometimes going out in boy mode, change and makeup in the car, and then change back).

Once dressed, I'm in a fairly nice neighborhood so we have an attached garage and the houses are set back from the road. Sometimes my neighbors are out in their yards so I hold up a towel to block their view, and between that and it's hard to see into car windows these days, I figure I'm ok (sometimes I will remove the wig).

I also (pre-pandemic) used to spend 2 months a year in a Melbourne, Australia suburb, in an apartment that has 10 units. In that case, I just suck it up and walk out the door, generally about 50 feet to our car in the covered carport. I figure the people in the complex don't know the boy me very well, so they won't make the connection.

[lingerieLiz]

lets see neighbor woman pounds on door and says help. I answer the door wearing white lace 38DD bra under a thin tight white t-shirt short jeans skirt.She has injured bird at her house come quick. I go to her house bird has died. I put the bird in trash can after she finds plastic bag. We talk for awhile. I walk back home which is 150 ft. Wave at neighbor that drives by. I assume neighbors know.

Her husband and another neighbor took me fishing when we first met. they were going fishing and asked me to join them. I was wearing shorts with women's tenis shoes top and bra. Neither of them ever said a thing.

Ive lived all over the country and never had a problem with neighbors. What they say about me has never been bad

[Krisi]

Obviously, we are all in different situations, both about the need to conceal our little hobby from neighbors and the situations we live in.

In my case, I don't want the neighbors to know and the car is not in the garage (tools are) so my method is to underdress, put my clothes, purse, wig, etc. in a bag and walk out and get into the car. I drive to a safe spot (usually a large shopping center parking lot) and finish dressing. I stop and change back before going home.

[Genifer Teal]

I suppose this was a small concern in the beginning. Once I started going out regularly I decided if I couldn't walk out the door with my head held high this wasn't something I wanted to be doing. I've held on to that. Now it's hardly even relevant. I've been just about everywhere. Not many left to hide it from. Just my mom she never understood it. Interestingly for years when I lived upstairs I would get ready privately and walk out the front door. mom would be down the hall in the den. I just shout goodbye. LOL only two times in like five or so years that there actually was an issue and I she was blocking my exit. I think that's a pretty good record I was going out every weekend sometimes twice.

[BrendaPDX]

I have done most of what has been mentioned, changed in the car (yuck), stayed at a hotel, gone camping, but now I just get into the car (in an attached garage) and drive out. One time the garage door sensor became blocked and I had to get out fully enfemme and clear the sensor, I am sure the busybody neighbor saw me because her and her husband looked at me with that "smirk" for a couple of weeks. Now when my wife is at work I get fully enfemme and usually go to a park or shopping center (nobody cares at Walmart), for all of my worrying I have never been ridiculed. I have had a few lingering stares, and one "OMG that's a guy!", but in general nobody really cares, too much going on in the world.

[kellyanne]

at almost 60, I still feel the need to conceal my femme side. I usually get dressed as Kelly Anne underneath and try and pick a time to go unnoticed to my car without my wig on. Once I went out with my hip pads and boobs in and ran into an old timer's wife from the building and they have never looked at me the same since. If society was more tolerant, I would go out everyday as Kelly Anne. The dedicated bathroom is a good example - it is almost always segregated and I still can't use a woman's washroom in most places.

[Yinlingyen]

I have to say I much prefer to drive. It gives me time to calm myself and just in case anything happens I am home away from home.
I have taken public transport buses and trains , I tell you it is so scary but at the same time so exciting.
In buses and trains there is no escape. You are trapped with a bunch of people, just like taking a lift. People look at you and you look at them or a the floor. Also the well lit trains and buses exposes you more. There is also more time for people to out you.