Probably my closest call yet

[CharlotteCD]

Given that we're in a DADT relationship, I adhere to this by only dressing when my wife is out. She was going out this morning, and I had just gotten out of the shower when she was putting the last bits in the car. Coast was clear now, as there was no reason for her to come back upstairs.

I hear the door shut, the car door close, the radio come on in the car, and again, no reason for her to come back in.

I put on some lingerie and shapewear, and as I hadn't decided my outfit for the day I put on dome drab joggers and sweat top to keep myself warm.

Now, our car is electric, so I don't hear it leave or return, but I do notice that I can't hear the radio any more, so the car must have gone.

No, the front door opens, and my name is called - "Hey, I think my phone is on the bed upstairs:"

Shit. I have bras and knickers on the floor, a wig on the bed, and I have a bra (36a) that's giving me visible boob even through the loose jumper I had on. Giveaway, particularly if she comes upstairs and gives me a hug or kiss goodbye.

I look around, and yes, underneath a pillow is her phone.

Time to woman up and face the consequences. It'd be easier for her to see that i'm underdressing than it would be for her to come upstairs and find me with femme clothing and a wig all around the room.

Holding her phone out and with a stoop so as to let the jumper hang away from the bra, I pass it over and we have a normal smiley goodbye.

My heart was pumping out of my chest, I was shaking uncontrollably for 5-6 minutes afterwards, and I consider myself very lucky that she didn't return 2-3 minutes later and simply come straight up the stairs to get her phone and catch me in full clothing and wig.

We may have progressed to at least being on DADT, but I think we need to have another conversation about if I can hang clothes in the wardrobe considering they'd be on view, and if I can keep my lingerie in my drawers.

[Helen_Highwater]

Charlotte,

Yep, the unexpected return has caught many out. There's a good many who have changed into drab faster than Batman sliding down his Bat pole.

[Maria 60]

I remember those mornings when I was working from home and my wife going to work at the office. She knew about my habit but didn't know the extent of it. I would literally look out the window and watch her leave and even though I couldn't wait a moment more with excitement I'd wait a few minutes in case she forgot something.
One day she came home early and I was fully dressed resting on the couch, I heard the garage open and Helans comments about Batman wasn't a joke. By the time she came into the bedroom I was down to my pantyhose and that was the extend she thought I was going to. We really do live our lives with excitement don't we?

[Michelle 51]

I guess we all have been there,done that and have some torn clothing to show for it.I dress freely around my wife now but it took years to come to that.My children are grown and out on their own and they pop in wheneverThey know about Michelle so it's a DADT with them and will call before they come over to give me time to .Since I dress at home everyday so it can still happen with friends but when it does my wife will go to the door while I run to change.

[CharlotteCD]

Roll on the days post Corona where I'm WFH two days a week and have from 7 until 12 to dress and enjoy myself!

[DianeT]

"Woman up"
I like that :)

[Karren H]

Maybe you need to put a GPS tracking device on the car.... or a camera system on the house where you can watch her actually leave.... or wait 10 minutes longer.... I've had a lot of close calls, like the time I was fully dressed in the kitchen (wife was out of town, doughtier was at college and son was sleeping over at friends)...
when I heard the door being unlocked and dashed down the hallway to the bedroom just as the teenage son and two of his friends come busting into the house, unexpectedly. Pretty sure I was either busted or was going to have a heart attack, or both!. Locked myself in the master bedroom bath and turned on the shower. He had forgotten something so was gone in 5 minutes.... Part of the excitement of dressing is almost getting caught!!

[jessica33]

Karren,

This is the reason we go out in the public . ����

[Karren H]

Yes it is Jessica! The thrill of being out in the world enfemme is like no other!

[MonicaPVD]

Close call! I have never dressed at home because a) I am terrified of having her come home unexpectedly, and b) I can be a little absent minded and fear leaving some evidence out that she might come across later (makeup stains, strands of long hair, a random article of clothing). My escapades are all external. As a result, the pandemic has hit me really hard by limiting my Monica time. Not much I can do about that.

Since you have a silent car, you might want to install an inexpensive camera right outside your garage door. It can be either a Blink or a generic Amazon one, which will notify your phone of any movement. Good luck!

[alwayshave]

Charlotte, My wife knows and is supporting. I had some near misses with my ex-wife and remember the feelings of dread and fear.

[Star01]

I never dress fully at home unless my wife is gone for the night or I am staying in a motel by myself. When we were part owners of an inherited lake home it was only an hour from home. When I stayed there I would wait until later to dress so I was sure nobody would drop in to check their boats or anything like that. When my wife was up there I would call or text and ask something about how things were going. That little routine knock on wood has prevented any surprises and the place was bought out so now it?s dressing when she is gone to motels only.

The closest I came to a surprise was when my wife was caring for her terminally Ill mother. It was only five minutes away but she had been spending the nights. With the looming pandemic lockdown and her mother I had lost my urge to dress while she was gone. One day as her mother worsened she called to say the hospice nurse stopped and checked her mom and said it was going to be a while longer. I suddenly got the urge to dress that night. I spent the day cleaning, did a bit of shopping and decided to make dinner before I dressed. Just as I was cleaning up the kitchen my wife walked in the door and I knew right away that her mother had passed. I am in a DADT so she would not only have seen me dressed but at the worst possible time. If I had not been cautious and insisted on using every little sliver of alone time to dress without thinking things through the outcome would have not been good.

[docrobbysherry]

I do not think LHC should be confused DADT, Charlotte!:thumbsdn:

I lived Lie, Hide, and Cheat when my 18 y/o daughter moved in with me full time. The number of times I was almost caught was ruining dressing for me!:sad:
So, I told her about Sherry. She disapproved but we organized a true DADT arrangement. That kept her from seeing me dressed and I could enjoy dressing without fear!

I told her when and where in the house or grounds I would dress. And, she either stayed out of those areas or left! Easy, peasy! No stress, no heart in throat moments! I suggest u discuss a similar arrangement with your SO!:thumbsup:

[Lydianne]

A tough situation. I'm not married; so I have no advice. However, I've read a couple of times from others about a tracker put onto a wife's phone or car, and it sounded weird to me 🤨.

If I were marrying, I would want a partner with whom the consequences of me doing that to them would be worse than the consequences of me being caught dressed by them in a DADT. Not because I think I would enjoy getting kicked out of the house, but because the other qualities I would seek in them, which would make us stronger as a team versus the world, would be irreconcilable with me doing that to them :strugglin.

Just thinking out loud.. 🤔.

- L.

[DianeT]

Lydianne, are you talking about a husband tracking his wife without telling her? My wife and I use a tracker with each other but this is an agreement between us with safety in mind, and each of us can disable it whenever s.he likes.

[Lydianne]

If tracking devices were an agreed part of the DADT negotiation, then that would be fine. Credit to both of you for being agreeable to concessions to make the relationship work.

- L.

[DianeT]

Oh, we decided to do it years before I came out, nothing to do with the dressing. I used to ride a motorcycle and figured out that the day I would land in a ditch in a desert location it would be nice to have my wife locate me. We decided to enable it for both, and agreed that we could disable it anytime if we wished so, no questions asked. Now, in the rare occasions where I dress while my wife is out of the house for an evening with friends, it allows me to make sure she finds a home with no weird stuff lying around nor unknown girl couching around when she's back. On her end she has used it in one occasion where I came home much later than expected and she was worried something happened to me. Also we tell each other when we used it, or when we know we are going to use it. Of course I don't criticize people not liking these devices, I can understand why. But apart from my dressing that I hid from her, my wife and I always shared absolutely everything, personal data, bank accounts etc., and that trust made it an absolute no-brainer to use tracking devices, it is simply a way to protect each other.
Of course this size won't fit all.

[Lydianne]

The emphasis on transparency and symmetry of the application of tracking in your relationship are perfect. The other posts I had read suggesting tracking mentioned neither. Applied in this way, it does not sound weird 😊.

( And thank you for steering the thread back to the OP :whew!: ).

Apologies to all for the interlude 🙏.

- L.

[Liz Jones]

" keep my lingaree in my drawers " ( post 1 ) .... !!!

[HollyGreene]

I always watch her car leave and drive away before I get dressed, for that very reason.

[Geena75]

It is so easy to let eagerness get the best of you. I wait to see her car leaving out of the drive before I would even get my Geena things from their hiding place(s). By the time I had gathered my wardrobe for the occasion, time enough had passed for her to return home for that forgotten item. And then I would allow at least 1/2 hour before she was due home to change back -- even though that didn't always work.

[Frannie7]

My closest call was last March. My wife went to her regular quilting group (usually 10:00-3:00) so I laid out some clothes on a bed in the spare room and makeup in the spare bathroom. I was just finishing makeup at 11:00 when I heard the door opening. I hopped in the shower with full makeup on and managed to keep my head and face out of the water. Luckily she didn't look in the spare rooms. She had come home to pick up something she had forgotten and needed for quilting. After she left I went back to complete dressing--makeup hadn't been ruined at all. Then an hour later one of her friends called for me to bring something over to the group. Had to removed everything and put it away quickly. Not the most fun I have had dressing.

[Julie MA]

The nearly "getting caught" part sounds very familiar.

But, I want to comment on the having to hide aspect of this story. Last summer I put a few of MY dresses in MY closet. Wife was not ok with it. And I agreed very politely to put them elsewhere. But I view this concession/compromise as part of the balancing act of having an unapproving SO. It is not a dictatorship. It is give and take. Every time we give a little, they have to give a little. We don't ask for permission and they don't grant the approval. It is a grown up agreement. Don't give up your freedom to be you.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I are in a deep "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage. She has a depth perception problem and does not drive. She is a public transportation user. Pre-covid she'd always call to let me know which bus route she was on and when it would hit the stop closest to the house. Sometimes it was to ask for a ride because she bought too much 'stuff.' Other times I think it was just a "heads up." Most of the time I was no engaging my feminine interests.

For those who are terrified of such encounters set up the tracking on the cell phone. When my granddaughter misplaced her telephone my son went to the computer, pulled up the GPS to see exactly where it was. It was stationery and sitting in her school locker. Just like when the cops get you, you can track the phone's movement. Of course, your wife can pull the same thing when you said you were just going to stay at home and you really were out and about. Ah, the "Perils of Pauline!"

Frannie (#2), I had a similar experience. My wife was out of state visiting her cousin for seven days. It was 24/7 time until I got a call from my daughter-in-law. She locked all her keys in the house and could not start the car to get to work or my granddaughter to school. Please bring my spare key to her house. I had to wash of the makeup, strip off the clothes and, yes, remove nail polish to quick I thought she would see some traces. I got to the driveway and found out she called my son and he gave her to code to the garage door opener. All for naught. She already had her keys. Grrrr!

[dominique]

If the whole house is going out I usually leave about 20 or so minutes to begin dressing. If they come back for something I usually have a shave before so nothing to worry about.

[stefaniec]

I had a few close calls growing up when I was still at home, maybe family members were suspicious but they never "caught me in the act" so there wasn't enough proof so to say.

Eventually I did get caught though. The last gg girlfriend I had found out about me. We weren't living together at this point in our relationship, but we would spend a day or two at each others' place from time to time just because. So since I still had my own place, I dressed up pretty often if we weren't spending time together for whatever reason. On this particular day, my gf was using my computer and found pictures of me on the bed in lingerie and stockings from a recent dressing session. I was actually driving to work when she must've came across them, because she called me on my drive in to work that morning. She did not beat around the bush about it, when I answered the phone hello? she went right into "why are they pictures of you on your computer of you wearing stockings and panties?"

Needless to say, I did the first u-turn I could manage and sped right back to my place. When I got back home, I sat her down on the couch and of course the natural questions followed: "are you gay?" "how long have you been doing this?" "did I catch something from you?"

I was pretty much caught red-handed, so I had to come clean and own up to it. What I managed to maneuver out of, was me dating other cd's and men. I had plenty of meetups before she and I started dating, and although I continued to dress while we dated, I did put a pause on meeting anyone else while we were together. Still, she was very clearly not into dating a crossdresser. She was the type of girl who embraced gender roles and enjoyed being the woman in the relationship. So she freaked out pretty bad, going on about how she had no idea how I was gay and that I was lying to her this whole time and whatnot.

I eventually managed to talk her down a little. The relationship did not last much longer after that. To her credit, she tried to be ok with it and had me dress up for her one time, but it didn't work. I couldn't get into it because I knew she was forcing it. And she just was not attracted to me (mostly because in normal mode I'm a regular guy) as an over the top crossdresser with a miniskirt and stocking tops showing, 5" pumps, and big hair.

We broke up soon after that. We had a decent amount of mutual friends, so I was definitely concerned about her sharing my secret with our mutual contacts. As far as I know, she did not.

The best advice I can give to a CD who is in a relationship with an unknowing gg partner is: they will find out eventually. We all think we cover our tracks sufficiently but we all slip up at some point. Maybe it is a subconscious desire to be caught, I don't know. That being said, it is infinitely better for them to find out on your terms than for them to discover it on their own.

Looking back, the deception did seem to offend her more than the crossdressing itself. After all, she did want to see me dress up in person. As for the dating other cd's/men piece, there probably wouldn't have been any reconciling that.

So, times are changing. If you haven't come out to your lady and you genuinely want a relationship with a gg, let her know. You might be surprised at the support you get. If not, you no longer have the stress and fear and paranoia of having your secret discovered.

[lingerieLiz]

I told my wife years ago when we were first dating. In the second week I told her about me and that I wasn't gay. She saw me dressed. Would she rather I didn't CD YES. Have I ran into women who it didn't bother yes, but many women don't want their husbands to CD. Before you go to far in your relationship you owe it to the woman. How would you feel to find out that your wife liked riding around as a guy.

[candykowal]

Oh gosh, I suppose the more close calls you have, the better you learn to minimize those potential close calls. :daydreaming:
You can never eliminate close calls unless your really doing drastic measures.
It's nice to see threads like this to review your own past close calls and reevaluate strategies to improve or consider opening up.
So thanks for sharing your experience, I think a lot of us can relate. :thanx:

Growing up, Dad found me sleeping in babydolls, bras, slips, and panties, he knew Mother bought for me a few times.
They argued and I felt so bad for my Mom, that I learned ....to not be caught.
Mom separated and we moved to Indiana where I didn't have to hide my things anymore.:)
Today, when I dress to reminisce, I am mindful not to be selfish and subject her to things she rather not know or care to know.
In the end, it is all a leap of faith, a game of chance.
I have found, over time, to condition and subliminally bring my wife to accept small things, of a feminine nature. :evilbegon
So when you do finally get caught in this innocent desire to be a more feminine person, the things your SO already knows, might make that moment, not as traumatic.

[Krisi]

My wife left once, but returned about ten minutes later because the tire pressure light was on on the car. You never know when someone will show up and if they have their own key, you are never "safe".

Now if you are in a DADT situation, that means your wife knows but doesn't want to talk about it or see it. If she leaves, she should expect that you will dress and if she really doesn't want to see it, she will call before she comes back home.

[Beverley Sims]

Ever been caught with your pants down? :-)

[barbaralegs76]

My closest call was one of the first time I did it. It was when I was aroung 15 and I have the same size as my mom. There were a wig at home that makes me start doing this.
As I measure almost the same as my mom at that age, and I have no beard at all, or hairy legs, it was easy and I look very beautiful that time. I used my mom's work clothes, so also I looked distinguish. She has a lot of makeup, and I always had long lashes.

The house was empty, and I really enjoyed beign Barbara. Even I cooked sometimes (I love to cook, and I'm a very good cook). Well, that day I was walking through the corridor and in the door, glass door BTW, a guy was there and he saw me and say "HI" with his hand. I had a mini-heart-attack and I ran to the closest room, and waited. He knock a couple of times more while I was there.... waiting and scared. Once it finishes, I lok closely, nobody was there, so I finish my business and stops for a while, The fear was big.
Anyway, I remember that time because it was so easy to CD, and I looked beautiful.

Kisses!

[CharlotteCD]

I've had another close call today. My wife is generally attached to or daughter at the moment, which means when I go out and come home (rare occasions) then I can bring things in and out of the house/garage without her seeing.

She didn't need the car until 3pm, and I was extremely excited for a bit of time to finally be myself alone. I needed to do an errand, and on my way back I picked up some clothing from a parcel locker in prep for trying on at 3pm.

I get in at 1pm, and I hide the clothes under the seats just in case she wants to go out to the car for any reason in the next 2 hours, and she meets me at the back door. She's going out earlier than planned, so wants me to put the pram in the car.

No chance of bringing the clothes into the house as she had full visivbility of the back door. No option to leave them in the car, as once she adjusted the seats to her driving position it'd expose my new clothes.

I then had an amazing bit of luck. My daughter decided to empty herself, and therefore needed a nappy change there and then, and since I was doing the pram, my wife did the duty.

Quickly grabbed the clothes from the car and chucked them in the garage as I was putting the recycling boxes away, she went out none the wiser, and I managed to have a much needed dressing session.

If my daughter hadn't done a poo at that point I was really struggling for an escape route at this point - all I could do was a garage drop whilst she went to the toilet. It would have been risky, but I think I'd have managed it.

Either way, the joys of DADT, and the efforts we go to avoid causing conflict with out partners.

[jenabrooks]

Playing a game what we will screw up and get cough.