What are you

[Jean 103]

I'm a service tech, think construction, but I mainly do service.

Today I was at a customer's house all day doing an install.
I don't go inside , so it easy for me to keep my distance.

The lady is ok, a bit picky but not a problem. It's not what I'm doing but the carpenters. So I can tell she is very detail orientated.

I'm leaving staying good bye, thing.

She asks me if I'm a musician?

I have had this same question before.

I just brush it off by saying I use to play the sax. Yes it is true.

But you see I'm representing male wearing all women's clothing. I'm actually dressed the same as a woman doing my job.

A person who is detail oriented can pick up on it.

I could have just told her that I'm TG, it would have been the end of it. I'm out so it's not a thing.

It's more that it is none of her business. I know what it is, she's paranoid.

I don't normally ever go back. Pretty much every day is somewhere new. The factory shipped a broken part. It was a special order so it will be a few weeks before they send me back.

I think she is a good person just curious. I don't that she would ask again, but this time I may just tell her , simply that I'm TG.

[Teresa]

Jean,
I'm intrigued to know why you think she's paranoid ? If anything she's possibly confused by your presentation and is perhaps fishing for a response from you . Do you really need to tell her you're TG ,does she need to know ? You could look at it from another angle and tell her before she starts to incorrectly label you .

Is it for us the educate the public to make it easier for those following on , I guess I see it more that way .

[Jean 103]

Hi Teresa,

What I am saying is you may think that no one notices, well some do. It's just that most don't care.

I did try to tone it down, as the word paranoid is a little strong. And I believe it has to do with security. It is a small factor, still in this case it plays a role. It can really be anyone , but I see it more with people who live behind gates.

It is justified in some cases as with celebrities. They have people so they don't have to handle this stuff, and they hide who they are working for. I couldn't care less who they are. It is kind of funny when the staff is all secretive and I know who owns the property.



I don't go around outing myself or do I feel that I need to educate anyone.

[SophyV]

You could just leave it alone. When asked a question give direct honest answer. ?Are you a musician?? ?No.? She will either leave it at that confused or ask a follow on. ?I was just wondering because of your cloths?. ?I am TG?. This is a response that neither assumes the burden of educating nor outing yourself needlessly like it is your duty. Instead you are now just being honest and polite.

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if she was paranoid or even concerned about ???? People's perceptions are formed by experience. If someone lives a sheltered life perhaps your presentation is confusing to her based upon limited or no interaction with _______? Yes, fill in the blank because since the conversation did not progress you do not know what her perception may be. I suspect, if you're wearing a company provided uniform your presentation may suggest you have an evening gig. I do not attend musical concerts, but I see news reports and advertisements depicting musicians attired and presenting totally different than their "day jobs."

[Aunt Kelly]

Seems like a teaching moment. Yes, there are those ignorant and fearful folk who will recoil and make signs that ward off evil, but for every one of those there are probably another ten or twenty who will be open to the enlightenment that we can provide, who are willing to learn that we are just people.

[candykowal]

I also have gotten those "fishing comments and questions" from people I have had to deal with while working in the music industry.
When getting a permit for a concert in a town, the lady at the counter would comment about my long gloss fingernails or the bedazzled unisex jeans I was wearing.
Or the electrician supplying power for the stage might inquire about my heeled boots, even asking where I grew up.
I tend to keep my eyebrows neat and I always had long lashes...my breasts are a tell too.
I just shrug it off and move on. I use to make excuses or as you did, just agree with them, and keep to myself most times.
I will however elaborate if I see a tell about them and have met a few people who are like minded or have family who are in the community.
You can usually tell if they are accepting, friendly, and a potential friend.
Now that I am retired, it's usually the cashiers who comment about my nails or jeans.
I suppose they are bored with working that they start people watching. :battingeyelashes:

[Jean 103]

Yes it all may be true if I was just some obscure person which I am not.

This is a large property they have horses or training I think they have more than one house these people have money. They live about 30 minutes east of me. In another small town area. Actually it's a large area comprised of acreage properties.

As with most things there can be a lot more than what you first perceive. The ladies SO is a woman. Like I said this is a horse property and they are training horses here.

A few years ago I was at the bar, a group of 5 ladies walked in. One when she sees me, came straight up* and started gushing all over me. She told me how much she supports me and all this which I've heard from people before. She also said she is a FTM and that her friends were against her transitioning. It was very obvious that they did not want her talking to me. And they eventually came over and took her away.

I decided at the time it was better that I didn't tell her anything. That it would be better for her not to move forward as she did not have the support of her friends. I could have totally hooked her up with a support group. And I have done this for others.
At the time she told me where she was living which is out by this property. So there is a very good chance that she was on the property or friends with the people on this property.

I like to keep my two world separated. I know that it is foolish. As they do overlap.

[ShelbyDawn]

I think sometimes we read too much into situations like this.

Maybe she read you and maybe she was looking for a bassist for her garage band.

If someone asks, you get to choose how you respond, just say yes or no and leave it at that, or pull out your manifesto, (seriously those of you that just went there, that was not a sexual innuendo. :) ) and see how she reacts, but it's not fair to her to assume you know what she was thinking or why she was asking unless you give her the opportunity to tell you, and when she does, just as the question about you being a musician, it's up to you how you respond.

[Jean 103]

ShelbyDawn

I didn't really intend this to about me. I'm different, as I'm like full time. I live in the real world as Jean.

I work in my guy mode, I'm out, everyone at work knows people in other companies know.
This is only the tip of the iceberg.

She was asking if I am transgender, without using the words.

I'm under orders from the owner, a person that I grew up with, to not make it a thing.

Customers love me mostly, it does create a different problem as they request me to do their work. The office is pretty good at handling it, I stay busy.

[Taylor186]

I thought you handled it well. Not every question requires a 'teachable' answer. Given you like to keep your two worlds separate, the less said the better.

She may truly wonder if you are a musician. It seems to me that musicians are more likely to push gender boundaries than your average guy.

[Wen4cd]

^I agreees. Only someone with obvious issues would feel the need prepare a lecture for every occasion, and condescend to 'school the plebs' on exactly how to view 'us.' :D If that's how u wanna live ;)

[Devi SM]

I passed for that kind of experience several times.

At the beginning when still in male mode but long hair I was asked if a musician, as you I play sax and had formal music education for 6 years when a child so I identify myself as a musician but I knew where the question was going to so I said yes a musician and talked about my experience on the music, some people would be more specific and straight ask abiut my gender, yes I'm trans.

Other time they were direct and asked me if a rock star....hahaha I laugh, not just jazz is my thing.

When full time as a woman but my voice and other details would trait me I was asked if I was in transition so that person knew more about it but then I could see just question faces but no actual questions.

Now people don't ask, so I assume I pass as a woman and now my voice is more femenine except when speaking Spanish....

I remember those ambiguous days....

[Krisi]

Some people worry when they see a man dressed as a woman and some are even afraid. Many people think we are some sort of perverts and may harm them.

[ShelbyDawn]

Some people worry when they see a man dressed as a woman and some are even afraid. Many people think we are some sort of perverts and may harm them.

WARNING, SACRASM AHEAD...

Well, of course they're afraid, any man that would enjoy the feeling of soft fabric and the look of bright, lively colors and the feel of a skirt caressing his legs is obviously a sexual predator, probably a pedophile, too, I mean seriously, run and hide, call the police, he's probably a vampire, too....

[Teresa]

ShelbyDawn,
Oh dear ! I must be doing something wrong no one appears to have noticed me as Teresa !!

[Aunt Kelly]

Some people worry when they see a man dressed as a woman and some are even afraid. Many people think we are some sort of perverts and may harm them.

Hence my suggestion that we take every opportunity to show that such fears are without any basis in fact.

[ShelbyDawn]

ShelbyDawn,
Oh dear ! I must be doing something wrong no one appears to have noticed me as Teresa !!

And the few times I have been out, no one has said anything to me, either, perhaps my sarcasm was a little hyperbolic. I fully intended to put an LOL at the end but it got lost in the last edit I guess.

I think you, Teresa, are adorable, by the way. Perhaps if I ever get across the pond, we can go for tea. :)

[Jean 103]

My main point is that some people do notice.

Now I'm a bit extreme. As I have long hair I wear in a ponytail, pink glasses, and I use my last name which is a girls name. That's besides being dressed like a girl.

As Jean I don't have any problems. Everyone is great and my friends are awesome.

[Teresa]

Shelby ,
You're very kind , tea will be fine when I can make the trip , well perhaps something a little stronger !!

[alwayshave]

Jean, Your statement that the customer was detail oriented, explains it all. She notices her environment and when you are in it. So she notices your clothing. Not a big deal.

[ShelbyDawn]

Shelby ,
You're very kind , tea will be fine when I can make the trip , well perhaps something a little stronger !!

I am a little partial to Smithwick's... ;)

[Beverley Sims]

I agree some musicians wear funny outfits.:-)

I think it is an obvious choice for someone confused.