How do you manage your needs when there's no option to dress?

[CharlotteCD]

I'm having a strong pink fog day, and lockdown means I haven't got any option to dress. I know an awful lot of us have been in this situation on/off for the past year, so I'm wondering how you are all managing that need to sort out the disconnection between who you present as and who you really are?

I've been underdressing on and off, but I don't get any satisfaction from that - I am still hiding who I am, and it's just not me.

Any suggestions?

[Krisi]

I like to dress and do so as often as I can, but I don't feel I have any sort of "disconnection". I just returned from a week of visiting friends and family. I did not dress and because I was busy with people and things to do, I did not have a problem. If you cannot dress, involve yourself in something else.

I am home now and dressed as I write this.

[Samm]

The only thing I really do, is sleep in my smaller forms and a girly tee. I know that doesnt really help your situation a whole lot. But when I find myself not being able to present the way I feel, this gives me enough to get me by.

[DianeT]

I watch photos from previous sessions. That's one of the reasons I take them. It soothes me and makes me happy to watch them once in a while.

[Geena75]

I haven't had a good dress up session since before the first of the year, and not at all for the past month. I look at past photos and browse this site. I've also taken to writing and that has kept the urge in check. As someone said, find something to keep you occupied.

[Karren H]

Think this pandemic has reduced my dressing so much so that I have turned to darker.... kinkier endeavors... not suitable for this forum and we will just leave it at that... it is controlled. Lol.

[Christie ann]

I am now coming to a 1 year anniversary of not being able to do anything. My wife is not a fan and with the pandemic we spend lots of time together. I keep my sanity by allowing my adventure side to blossom. Isn’t this what we all do to keep our feminine side hidden? But the close call with the avalanche took much of the fun away.

[TheHiddenMe]

I cope by looking at the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am, by nature, an optimist.

First, I try to count the positives. My family--including my relatives--have avoided contracting the virus. Some of my relatives have gotten at least their first vaccinations. My 27 y/o son, who normally would be a student at Georgia, is currently living with us, so we are getting unexpected time with him. Even with the recent snow and cold, my wife and I are still able to get out and be active, walks, runs, etc. Contrast that with 500,000 dead, power outages in Texas, etc., and on the whole I have it pretty good.

Plus, I spent about 40 years of adulthood not dressing on a regular basis, so it’s not like this isn't new. I survived those 40 years; I can survive these times.

Right now I'm trying to keep up my exercise and diet disciplines to dump the stubborn 8 pounds I want to lose, so when my time comes I ready to look fabulous (and so I can perform better in the running races and triathlons that have been on hold for the last year).

Spring is coming. We just need to be patient and look forward to its arrival.

[Joyce Swindell]

I would suggest having a friend and using whatever excuse you can to go out and dress with them. There are groups in many larger cities, maybe join one of them.

[Charla]

Try doing things to reinforce your femininity where possible. Keep your fingernails and toenails manicured and, if possible, painted. Use hand lotion with scent. If you can underdress, wear panties as often as possible. Shave your legs and underarms and hands.

[alwayshave]

Charlotte, I have not dressed fully in more than a year. I underdress (i.e., panties and camisole) every day under my clothes. Other than that, binging a lot of TV.

[Cheshire girl]

I just look forward to the day when I can go to the dress shops and cosmetic counters again. I?ll have a bit of a spending spree and looking ahead to that keeps me going at present. The first available day I?ll head for the beauty salon then the shops.

[Star01]

I can?t remember the last time I dressed fully but I believe it was the last fall. Going into the pandemic I always dressed when my wife or I were gone overnight. There were more opportunities but that has changed so that when things get going again I will have even fewer chances to dress. It is frustrating but buying too many guitar pedals and some self medication works to keep my sane.

[Wen4cd]

Work out the booty, in tights that you can sort of pass off as boy's?

Doing femme exercises has been very helpful to several aspects of life.

[AnnieMac]

cute panties

[Leslie Langford]

I typically bury my face in a large pillow into which I let out a gut-wrenching primal scream that no one can hear. Works for now, anyway... :eek: :doh: :heehee:

JUST KIDDING, but it does seem like a viable option to help keep the pink fog at bay...:bonk:

[AndieB]

Strangely enough, I've been able to dress up more during Covid, primarily because of working remote. So I've been pretty fortunate. Before everything happened, it was more difficult for me and found myself slipping into things at night after the spouse went to bed, or when she was out and about. I'm sure in this environment many are struggling and I can only hope it gets better from here with the vaccine and the like.

Since I can't dress all the time, my favorite thing to do to keep my femme side alive is getting a pedicure. I was able to find a salon that has good practices in terms of Covid safety, one that only accepts appointments and has large screens up between me and the workers. I always get a gel pedicure with a cute color, and the nice thing about it is you can hide it for the most part. It might not be possible for everyone, but it always makes me happy to see my toes painted.

[faltenrock]

This pandemic is difficult for all people - worldwide.

I have't been able to get out in six weeks, which isn't too bad. My wife starting working again on the first of February, that means I have opportunities four days a week if I want to dress.

Yes I miss going to clubs dressed and having fun dancing and going out to pubs and restaurants, including shopping.
All that isn't possible in Germany. Clubs and restaurants have been closed since October, shops since mid December.
I just look forward to the future and try to make the best of it.

I also used these ties to clear my closet and sold about five skirts and 30 dresses, sure I got about 10 new dresses during that time.

Wish you all the best

Doreen

[Alana Westenra]

Work out the booty, in tights that you can sort of pass off as boy's?

Doing femme exercises has been very helpful to several aspects of life.

Oh hell ya! Get yourself a resistance band, activate those Glute Mediuses, and do some RDLs. Check out Bret Contreras on YouTube, goes by the 'Glute Doctor'.

[lucy_miller]

Yes it?s hard with a family at home, someone is always in. My DADT was established with a always sleep in silk nightdresses clause which has been a life saver. I often run at about 16.00 then put on loungewear over a silk gown. I?ve bought a few extra when feeling particularly stressed. Have also looked into a few herbs that help calm gender issues and finally I?ve started to grow my hair out. My wife is my hair dresser and I?ve been open about my female roll model so there are some wins.

[Cheryl T]

I dress daily, perhaps not with hair and makeup all the time, but then it's just the wife and I at home so that's fine.
When I go out nearly all my clothes are women's anyway. Panties only for the last 20 years, my jeans, top, socks and sneakers all from the pretty side of the aisle. I don't really get that feeling anymore that I Have To Dress because I'm always dressed.
There are times, like this past Sunday, when we aren't going anywhere, just sitting about the house, and yet I felt the desire to get all dolled up for a change. I had to go all out and took my time doing my face and hair, put on my prettiest skirt and top, wanted to feel feminine and donned matching lingerie including a garter belt and stockings and slipped into my best heels. No one was going to know but us. No one was going to see me but her. But I felt I needed to dress up and feel pretty for a change. I guess that's my fog ...

[Stephanie47]

It's not just the coronavirus lockdown. It is also my wife has retired. Fortunately, due to medical issues we sleep apart. I am able to wear a nightgown and panty when asleep. Sometimes a bra and hosiery too. She sleep late into the morning. At 9:45 AM I arouse her so she can watch "The View." I'm usually out of bed by 7:30 AM. I don a long bathrobe and hit the computer as I am doing now. If my wife gets up early the length of the bathrobe obscures the nightgown. I have become accustom to wearing a nylon panty during the day.

I also continue to peruse ebay and retailers for Vanity Fair panties of the styles I wear. As I stated before on this forum I have been collecting discontinued and new colors. Sort of like collecting stamps or coins.

And, visiting this site several times a day. I am looking forward to the end of covid so my wife can babysit our grandchild overnight at our daughter's apartment. I don't do any of that "grab the crumbs of time" dressing for half and hour, etc. I like the overnight babysitting so I can fully dress, relax and go for an evening drive and stroll.

[Helen_Highwater]

I'm a rugby fan and one of the things you hear coaches and pundits say is good players play what's in front of them and that's sort of sums up how I live day to day.

Life throws challenges at us and the only thing you can do is deal with them as best you can at the time. It's been 15 months since I last went out enfemme (but hey who's counting) and 12 since I had any real home alone time. However like Stephanie my SO has health issues and she too stays in bed late so each morning I can be found in skirt and top tidying the kitchen and making her breakfast in bed. After a quick cover up and breakfast delivered I get a bit more time being what I call PF (partially femme) before she finally starts to rise and the covers go on once more.

This is why I tell folks not to be sorry for me being in the closet. I get these regular little shots in the arm to use a current phrase to boost my spirits and that's what you have to do to keep in touch with this thing that we love to do. Underdressing, chatting to folks here, looking at vids of others from our community on FaceBook and getting really jealous about just how good some look as well as thinking why on earth did you think THAT looked good on you of others.

If I couldn't do my little PF sessions then so be it. All things will pass and one day Helen will hit the shops once again. I'll get to see others from our community, the breeze will swirl around my knees and I'll be cursing false eyelashes.

It is what it is, accept it, just get on with life and wait for better days. Stay calm and carry on.

[franlee]

Not being a smarty but, where there is a will there is a way. It may not be optimal but you should with a little forethought be able to get a quick change in even if it is without makeup. Beats nothing.

[Pumped]

Back when my wife and I were DADT I would dress in the evening after she went to bed. She has always gone to bed an hour or two before me so it worked. She "caught" me once when she couldn't sleep and gave me a little grief. I told her if she didn't want to see me dressed then don't come looking for me! We have a family room in the lower level of our house, the bedroom is in the upper level. She had no reason to come down other than to see me.
I will admit the DADT didn't last long.

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Charlotte,

My wife does seasonal work and I have been in a dressing drought since Christmas and I am looking forward to her returning to working the spring. While she know I dress and says I can wear whatever when she is around, I prefer not to fully dress in front of her. I find being a part of this community helps me cope with the fog. I find things like shaving my legs, wearing polish on my toes and keeping my nails nicely manicured to be very soothing. I also work on my feminine mannerisms. If all else fails, I immerse myself in a hobby.

[Sharon budd]

Basically by indulging in what may be referred to as "the elephant in the room" nudge, nudge, wink ,wink.

[Beverley Sims]

When I had that problem I used to find other interests to occupy my time.

Going out with girls was a wonderful cure. :-)

[SamanthaPanty]

I have been working from home for 3 years now and was dressing every day before my wife started to work from home... She does know I have a thing for womans cloths however, She does not know the extent that I still dress and I think she would not at all like the idea... However, A girl has needs and I love dressing when I can.

So even though I love my wife working from home I cant wait till lock down ends in england and I am able to "closet dress" again... I do miss my skirts...

in regards to managing it... I dont have the feeling to dress all the time. I just enjoy it when I can! I feel comfortable dressed more so than with dressed as a boy but as I am a hairy bear of a man and to be honest dont want to change that I just wait for the moments that I am able to enjoy my sexuality of being a non conforming man/woman gender.

[manemami]

in my opinion you should talk to your wife and either get her acceptance to dress in front of her or in close doors with her permission ( this is what i do idress and take photos and watch them in front of her she just smiles and gives wink)

[CarolynO]

Back when i was living in the house i grew up in(parents,brother,sister),and felt that overwhelming urge and somebody was in the house.....suffered in silence praying for everyone to go out,waiting...waiting ....waiting to get some alone time to dress up.Until then there was nothing i could do but go crazy to the point of cutting school to be alone in the house to doll up.

[Mackem Sue]

I personally find myself subtlely manoeuvring to find some alone me time so I can dress, whether it be a prolonged bout of dressing or a quick hour to at least make the urge manageable.

It's a compulsion but also a highly enjoyable experience so if I can engineering a longer period???

Lock-down is making such linger period easier to engineer for me.

Sue

[jacques]

Hello Charlotte,
I always wear something feminine, even if it is just women's deodorant! Why? - because I'm worth it!
luv J

[kellyanne]

It happened a lot in my corporate heyday can be tough sledding, this problem came when I was on the road with business to regional or larger meetings - many times for 1 or 2 weeks.
my MO was to stay busy at the big meetings and tough it out with panties & nightie until I got home.

There was much inter room visiting because of comradery so I wanted to pack light with 1 small bag. I ws always concerned I f I took 3 nighties, 4 blouses and 5 skirts so to speak,
I would hang some up and forget when visitors came

My advice to someone would be the same or a stash bag with wig, outfit & skimpies + easy to put on male clothes that can be easily changed & hidden if required.

Avoid volume and time consuming pieces ie - top & skirt over zipped dress hard to reach.

[Misty_cder]

Underdressing all the time has helped me cope with everyone being home, but there are those moments when I get the urge to put on a dress and heels. A few times, I've been lucky to get the house to myself and I will quickly change into a dress, but it is short lived. Typically no more than 30 minutes. These lockdowns have been a blessing for some of us and disastrous for others. Hopefully you will be able to find a happy medium.

[Rochelle77a]

Living with family, I don't have any opportunities to dress, specially with Covid. Pre-covid I would sneak in a few hours of dressing but now I can't. When Covid hit, I had to purge my clothes and heels unfortunately. I miss my dresses and heels. Just wanted to let you know, you're not the only one.

[robyn rose]

I don't get a chance to fully dress in my current situation and that's been the case for a couple of years now, My wife retired early due to ill health so she is now home all the time and my health has suffered several major problems over the years.
The best I can manage at the moment is to wear panties and tights under my denims when I go out, Although this feels amazing I long to be able to spend a few days fully clothed and made up.