PSA: Outed by Alexa?

[CharlotteCD]

A warning to those of you who shop with Amazon and own an Alexa.

Mine started flashing yellow, the sign it has a notification. Generally this has been to tell me that a band I follow has new songs out, or that my account is due to renew and subscription.

Today however, my wife noticed it was flashing and started to ask what the notification was. I jumped in quickly just in case it was something relating to her mother's Day present.

When she left the room shortly after, I put the volume down and asked for the notification, and got the follow response:

"last month you purchased brand women's hipster briefs, would you like to rate them out of five stars"

There's no getting around that in a DADT relationship. I'm so lucky I was in the room, and Alexa didn't slap my wife with an unwanted truth.

So for those of you with an Alexa, go into the app on your phone, select settings, notifications, shopping, and then switch them all off!

[Aka_Donna]

If in DADT, why not uninstall Alexa. Garbage app anyway as it collects too much

[CharlotteCD]

If in DADT, why not uninstall Alexa. Garbage app anyway as it collects too much

It's an echo device that gives the audio notification, not an app, and it's far from garbage for how my family use it.

[Stephanie47]

There are many ways to be 'outed' by the internet. If I peruse any store I always get an email about something I may have looked at. I have an ad blocker but it seems retailers or the internet gets around it. If I am enticed to look at something and click on it the internet host gets some few pennies which ad up. Even on the msn page I get little notes about items I may be interested in. I frequently get emails asking me to rate something I purchased. Fortunately, my wife and I do not share any accounts. If she were so inclined and delved into our JCPenny or Macy's account she would see prior purchases of fem articles of clothing along with household products. I do not have Alexa. The last thing I need is another voice in the house.

[Helen_Highwater]

Charlotte,

My big gripe with new tech is that it tries to help too much. Windows telling me it can organise my life for me, integrate this or that. Aarh I can do it myself thank you!

It's been discussed here recently about using private browsing as one way of limiting intrusion while shopping online.

Amazon is another site that can out you with it's, "Buy again" and recently looked at features. I now make sure I delete my recent browsing regularly as well as archiving femme items I've bought.

The machines are taking over!

[Beverley Sims]

Helen, I agree with you whole heartedly.

[Teresa]

Helen,
While it's no longer a problem for me , I'm sure some will be caught out by items placed in the shopping trolley but not purchased and it's flagged up on Emails etc..

I also find it hard to avoid signing up for Amazon Prime , I ordered some Lego sets for my grandsons as Xmas gifts , I know I missed ticking the Prime box but I still had a notification telling me a payment was due at the end of the month , OPTING OUT means just that but I've had this problem with Amazon before over this issue .

[Maria_mtf]

I personally use different amazon account for femme purchases, different email address, different browser and clear cache on exit. There is still some linking that can happen, ads showing dresses on my normal browser, normally this is where a cache hasnt cleared.

I'm not suggesting my approach is a good idea by the way just an option.

[Teresa]

Charlotte,
Another issues I was caught out with was when I first joined the forum I ticked the box not to use my Email address . At that time I was sharing a laptop with my wife even though we had differnt Email addresses .

The problem can arise when your PM box is full , sometimes the only way you realise is notification from Cders. com as an Email . I can vividly remember sitting next to my wife checking my Emails with her occasionally glancing over my shoulder when I noticed the message .

[Shiny]

This is Orwells' 1984 for sure. I do not carry an iPhone (so info can't be stolen and I can't be followed) or have Alexa or Siri. I dislike computers too. I just got a new TV set and heard that they have put cameras behind the screen to monitor you 24/7! And this is true! Think about it. You got rid of cable but are now plugged into the internet! You can be watched easily now. And the NSA taps all phones too! I do my best to stay low or no tech. Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape! It's a shame what our world has become but with being ultra careful you can survive. All computer-tech devices spy on you to some extent and if they are plugged into the net that becomes a dangerous certainty!

[Victoria1]

This is indeed a problem. My wife and I both shop online with Soma. I have a separate account that I set up with Soma, with it's own email address. I recently purchased a red satin nightie with matching panties. The follow up request for a review on these items was sent to my wife's email address. Fortunately I saw it and deleted it before she saw it. You can never be too careful these days.

[MonicaPVD]

If you are in a DADT situation, technology is not your friend. Have burner accounts that have no interaction with your regular ones, to make your purchases. Repeat. Technology is not your friend. It's bad enough that we are on video somewhere from the moment we step outside until the moment we return.

[Krisi]

This is Orwells' 1984 for sure. I do not carry an iPhone (so info can't be stolen and I can't be followed) or have Alexa or Siri. I dislike computers too. I just got a new TV set and heard that they have put cameras behind the screen to monitor you 24/7! And this is true! Think about it. You got rid of cable but are now plugged into the internet! You can be watched easily now. And the NSA taps all phones too! I do my best to stay low or no tech. Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape! It's a shame what our world has become but with being ultra careful you can survive. All computer-tech devices spy on you to some extent and if they are plugged into the net that becomes a dangerous certainty!

I don't believe that we are being monitored by our TV sets, but if you can supply proof, I am certainly willing to learn.

As far as cameras and microphones on computers, they are there for a purpose and you can turn them on and off at will. No need to put electrician's tape on them.

Yes, you can be tracked by your cell phone, but unless you are committing serious crimes, nobody cares and nobody is tracking you.

As far as DADT situations, my understanding is that this means your wife knows but doesn't want to see or hear about it. If she finds out you bought something feminine, it shouldn't be a surprise to her. If you are hiding your dressing from an unsuspecting wife, these notifications could be a problem. You'll have to be more careful with online shopping.

[Shelly Preston]

This may have been posted but I can't be sure

I remember a recent story of someone who had a conversation with a colleague that was unexpected.

There colleague ask if they had decide on which curtains to buy (or similar). To which the reply was how do you know we were discussing curtains.

It turned out that Alexa had called his colleague while him and his wife were discussing the subject, and they had no idea.

Can you imagine the fall out if they had been discussing his choice of skirt.

Technology can be too clever sometimes.

[Star01]

Your experience underscores why I never shop online. These days even searching through things could potentially make them pop up as ads it seems on any device on the home network. Advertisers are one step ahead of us looking for add content to present and that doesn?t even touch on notifications like the one you mention.

In my case I set my wife up for online sales as far back as 2,000. I explained how to scan and size photos and got her going online. Today she buys and sells and all the bills come through here. She even has it setup where if either of use makes a purchase she gets notified on her phone. In most cases that is a security protection...except when one is a stealth crossdresser it becomes a liability and forced cash purchases.

Even things like online searches are done with caution always using a private browsing session. That is how I avoid online shopping problems, I don?t do it.

- - - Updated - - -

PS, so that nobody wastes their time suggesting that I get a cash card and drop box allow me to clarify things. My vehicle, an old van, is shot and has bad tires. I had intended on junking it and buying my retirement vehicle last spring until everything locked down. I had a set of used tires put on it and kept it as I am not driving anywhere. The intent is to get the vaccine then go down to the showroom and treat myself to something reliable. That still won?t solve my shopping and dressing problems. We have been home for almost a year together and see each other?s every move. It?s only natural that after me not going places for a year that my wife will ask where I am going. Obviously right now there is no alibi for me to go anywhere. Suggestions on how to get out will fall on deaf ears, I know our household dynamics and the only viable solution is that I wait a while longer.

[Aka_Donna]

Amazon is not your friend. If in DADT and wanting an echo device instead of using spotify or other streaming service, the shop at locations other than Amazon. Amazon has changed since Jeff left and is starting to use the information it collects.

Want to be scared of 1984? See how the tech companies have now ganged up and are working to embed user and location data into photos and other data sharing files, like docs, spreadsheets and PPT presentations.

[candykowal]

Tech can be scary. I have bought perfume, bras and panties at JC Pennys and Kohls on-line, to pick them up at the drive up.
If those stores are shopped on-line by my wife, they know Candy and my wife are related, even though I have a dedicated debit card for Candy only.
I believe they know by the IP used though our internet provider and/or thru a credit rating service.
I might have gave a birthday and the store might use that info to suggest to my wife, in an e-mail, it is Candices birthday!
Last time she bought these bras and perfume, you may want to send her a gift!
Not knowing who Candice Kowal is...she might google the name and find pictures of her husband in drag below her favorite wall hanging!
I am pretty out there in cyber space.
So if you do "ANYTHING" with a computer as your feminine self, you better be ready to be outed.
Though I am in a DADT relationship, I know she is not dumb...and I am not very smart.
I am ready to accept that fate, whatever happens, good or bad....are you?

[CharlotteCD]

I didn't realise that tin foil hats were a crucial part of the crossdressers wardrobe. :heehee:

[CynthiaD]

Tin foil hats? No, certainly not. Tin foil bras? Oh yeah!

[BobbiKay]

My wife's hinted that she's seen ads that seem targeted to my interests. We do not use the same computers or even the same operating systems. All we share is a common DSL line. Apparently that is enough to link us.

[Taylor186]

Thanks for the tip Charlotte. I'm not DADT but I turned off all notifications, except delivered. Though my wife is generally tolerant of my occasional CDing, I prefer to minimize flaunting it unnecessarily.

[Wen4cd]

Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape!

I often just leave mine broadcasting live onto my discord server so that any of my friends can watch me working out.,trying on clothes, sleeping, etc, whenever.

Usually no one does, but I always expect to hear one of them chuckle or comment out of nowhere, having been watching my feed quietly.

[Territx]

It's an echo device that gives the audio notification, not an app, and it's far from garbage for how my family use it.

I agree Charlotte!

[docrobbysherry]

Sometimes I'm glad I'm an old fuddy duddy!
As I watch the younger masses enslaved by their phones and other "cool new" devices!:eek:

I continue to use my phone as a phone, period! And even then, refuse to respond to every call or text that comes in on it!:thumbsdn:

Never mind having to respond to every nuisancy clickding or pop up that would come in online!:doh:

[CharlotteCD]

Good for you, I'm glad you're an old fuddy duddy and us young people are so terrible.

Alexa, play my music playlist. Alexa, play the radio. Alexa, turn the heating on when my phone gets to within 5 miles of home.

Gosh, I really am enslaved with all of these awful features that not only make my life easier, but help the environment as well. So awful

[Crissy 107]

We do not have Alexa but I am in a DADT marriage. About 2 years ago I was on my iPhone downstairs and my wife was on the Mac computer upstairs and it popped up with the site I was on, this one. I had not told her of this site or any similar one cause I knew she would not like it. Well it was quite the snot shower for me for a good long while.
She had known about my CD’ing but not the site.
I made sure it was disconnected from each other immediately.

[Pumped]

My wife's hinted that she's seen ads that seem targeted to my interests. We do not use the same computers or even the same operating systems. All we share is a common DSL line. Apparently that is enough to link us.

I have a couple personal computers and a work smart phone and laptop. For a long time I tried to keep them separate. Next thing I start getting cross dressing stuff on my work computer. Only connection is using my home WiFi. I gave up and just clear cookies often. No clue how they connected the two. Never did work on my personal and never personal stuff on my work computer.

[Molly Wells]

We are Prime members but seldom use Alexa for anything. If I want to order I go online and order from my computer. I am in a DADT and try to be very cautious about my online presence. When I browse as Molly, I use Firefox and a private page. It's not foolproof but is is a layer of protection as far as browsing history, etc. I have separate email address for Molly and only open it through the private window. I do find that the private browsing on my tablet or phone don't seem to work quiet as well. For me, its pretty much one way to access and clear everything when I am done.
Molly

[susann_gardener]

I too was almost outed a couple weeks ago by Alexa asking about the delivery of a pair of Pleaser 809 heals. Thanks for the tip on how to quiet her.

[Aka_Donna]

Only connection is using my home WiFi. I gave up and just clear cookies often. No clue how they connected the two. Never did work on my personal and never personal stuff on my work computer.

It's simple. Your IP address is unique and for example one tracker, FB,collects more than 50 data points about your usage. They know the email addresses used on this IP as well as all connected wifi devices. Just matching A with a, and B with b, etc. Some trackers even share data with others.....

[Wen4cd]

Pleaser 809 heals
nice tho!
I just got a pair of 3024 boots I love to death.

[Victoria StJohn]

I received a free 'Alexa' with a purchase sometime ago and have no problem with it. Keep it unplugged and in a drawer after hearing many stories about it's use. My only concern now is with Amazon and it's many suggestions regarding my many purchases.

[Wen4cd]

Keep it unplugged and in a drawer after hearing many stories about it's use. My only concern now is with Amazon and it's many suggestions regarding my many purchases.

Watch out, they tend to sneak out of drawers at night and prowl around your house looking for dirty secrets to report to Corporate.

[Steph_CD_62]

The wife and I have Alexa, but haven't connected to anything but a few lights around the house. Wife like to use it when she getting around the house for time, temperature and listening to music. The Alexa account is attached to her email not mine. We both have an account with Amazon, so any purchases I make is on my account and not hers.

My wife is fully aware of my dressing and I don't have to hide anything from her. When I purchase something new online, I make sure I tell her right away so she isn't surprised. When I find something at a box store, as soon as I walk in I let her know what I have bought and usually show her.

I have no synced any devices with other devices in our house, because I want to keep things private and don't want to advertise what I enjoy. I also run a VPN, which I feel helps protects me. I also make sure any computer or phone that I use has the camera disabled and has to ask me to enable it, so I don't have to worry about others seeing what I am doing or wearing.

Technology is nice, just need to be smart about how you use it.

[lingerieLiz]

Smart televisions offer a lot of cool features, including internet access, streaming apps, and built-in cameras and microphones. However, because they are always connected to the internet, those TVs can be a potential risk. Hackers who gain access can control your TV and change certain settings.Apr 27, 2020

How to Stop Smart TVs From Snooping on You | PCMag

https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/how-to-stop-smart-tvs-from-snooping-on-you

My wife knows what I buy/own. She uses my credit card and name when she orders things from various places even lingerie. I do have fun rating women's clothes.

[docrobbysherry]

Good for you, I'm glad you're an old fuddy duddy and us young people are so terrible.

Alexa, play my music playlist. Alexa, play the radio. Alexa, turn the heating on when my phone gets to within 5 miles of home.

Gosh, I really am enslaved with all of these awful features that not only make my life easier, but help the environment as well. So awful

You're putting words in my mouth, Charlotte. I think you're quite smart to use anything that makes your life happier and easier!:thumbsup:
Guess I'm too independent to depend on a robot for my needs to date? I know I must waste eons of time flipping on and off the radio and heater myself!:doh:

And, I must be too old and clueless to understand how turning on the lites, radio, heater, etc. when I'm not in the room "helps the environment"?:eek:

[susann_gardener]

nice tho!
I just got a pair of 3024 boots I love to death.

Did you have any trouble walking in them? I'm a little nervous about getting them and then not being able to walk in them.

[Wen4cd]

They walk and dance fine, and balance ok. My only issue with them is that they fall a little, and form a bit of wrinkle just above the ankle when they do.
I might be able to adjust them so they do that less.

[char GG]

Mod note:

Please stay on the topic of the OP. Take off topic comments to PM. Thanks