"so"

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

A little off topic, and not intended to offend anyone, just interested:

I was just curious about this, because I've noticed it on forums like this and other crossdressing boards over the years, that whenever someone is talking about their wife of girlfriend, or boyfriend, or husband, they almost always use the phrase "My SO."

I'm just curious, when did "Significant Other" become the defacto term in the crossdressing community for our partners? I guess to me it just feels like an effort towards being ultra-PC that always feels a little silly. I can't remember the last time, in public, I heard someone refer to their partner as their "SO." And I don't think the term "My SO" implies any less level of ownership to a person than "My wife" or "my spouse" does.

To me, Significant Other just feels so cold, it's like the phrase "Human Resources" which has taken over "Personel." It has made workers into a resource, human beings into a type of number to be filed away and considered like office supplies. I personally would never like to hear a girlfriend refer to me as her "SO." I like the term Boyfriend, I'm happy to hear it affectionately attributed to me. It doesn't feel like I was just assigned to her.

and we're trying to PC it up by not implying sexual preference, we seem to fail when we then identify our SO as "her" or "him." And why SO instead of LTC for Long Time Companion?

And does typing SO really save all that much time instead of using the more specific terms? It's not like we've made an effort to reduce all our other typing down to quick two letter titles. So why this specific phrase?

[TGMarla]

Well, I'm married, so my "SO" is my wife. But not all of us are married, and not all of us are heterosexual. So it's a term that can encompass everyone's spouse, be it wife or husband, or girlfriend, or boyfriend, or anything in between, for that matter. It's less a matter of political correctness than it is just plain convenience.

[Helen MC]

I too detest Political Correctness but it would seem that the culture here is to refer to the other half of partnerships as the "SO" rather than by the more common phrases.

I agree with you totally about HR instead of Personnel. The attitude towards the workforce by employers has become far harsher with this title than it was when Personnel or even Welfare was the name of the department. It is also a cop out for having pi55 poor Managers who cannot manage but do it all from the handbook. If they encounter a problem with their staff they shift it up to HR to resolve rather than sort it out for themselves. They cannot move but for the need to follow some detailed proceedure. Personally, I'd scrap most HR Departments and retain the services of a good firm of Lawyers instead to be used for advice etc in difficult situations, and return the need to "Manage" back to the Managers. Another modern phrase I detest is "Leader" instead of "Manager", "Supervisor", "Chargehand" etc. Leadership is a gift not a title and most Managers I have met couldn't manage the proverbial pi55-up in a brewery.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I guess for me my point is that, if you are talking about your own wife, what does it matter what someone else calls their partner? That is what I mean by it being an attempt at being PC. Does it really offend a nonmarried homosexual person when you refer to your own partner as your wife in conversation?

I'm not denying "SO's" use as an umbrella term when speaking about partners in general, but I don't get why it seems that most folks on here, and just about every CD/TG forum I've been to in years use it as a personal term too for their own partners.

I'm just curious as to why we all started doing this. Where did this culture come from?

[Butterfly Bill]

I think it sounds academically wordy too, but it is a generic term that can apply to either sex and to any of a variety of relationships from marriage thru all the other ways of cohabitation to just dating steady. And it's easy to type just two letters.

[Yes I am]

Acronyms bother me. Perhaps I have acrophobia, man that game was fun anyone else ever play it? Uh oh, I'm rambling again...

[Julie Avery]

My partner and I have been together since 1997 but are not married, which is why I use the term s.o. If we were married I'd say "wife".

[Teresa Amina]

SO is really convenient, you don't have to worry about stepping on toes (except apparently Acrophobic ones;) ). I loose track of who's gay or straight, married or living together, etc. If I refer to That Person as SO I'm covered.

Oh yeah; and we go by our fem names here. Sounds a bit odd to refer to a womans Wife!

[DonnaT]

I never refer to my wife as my SO, online or in RL. It seems to diminish the fact that she's my wife. No offense to those who do use the term SO.

[Tiffy]

I use SO just to be generic and include everyone. Because I mostly use it to pose a question. Like "Do you and your SO go shopping enfem together?". It is just to include everyone without trying to make others feel uncomfortable. If you do not like it then don't use it. I do not care for it but, it is a simple non offensive term. Pretty simple really.


Kisses, April Marie

[ReginaK]

I don't like it because it insinuates that somewhere you have an insignificant other.

[EricaCD]

I certainly understand people who use other terms instead of SO. I use the term "SO" for the reasons Teresa noted. Most importantly, it avoids having to characterize the gender balance in a relationship. For example, if a CD male has a spouse that plays male gender roles when dressed, is the proper term "wife", "spouse", "genetic wife", "husband when dressed"? Etc.

That said, I agree that "SO" is a bit depersonalizing. To all the spouses, girlfriends, lovers, life companions and friends who read this forum, thanks for putting up with yet another complexity in the life of the modern crossdresser!

Erica

[GypsyKaren]

Kat and I refer to each other as "life partners", because that's what we are.

Karen

[jamie_44]

I refer to my wife as that, my wife, I feel the SO term is not for married couples, just my opinion.

[Julia Cross]

I'm 38, my S.O. is 34. When we are out and about, I have found the term is quite commonly used know. Many young couples no longer marry and even have children. The term girlfriend, in my case seems juvenile or not to serious and wife is not appropriate either as we are not married. Partner works, but I think because many non-heterosexual couples have used that term, significant other feels more appropriate for us.

Julia

[sharifemme]

Those of us who feel our sex does not match our gender, could be called TGs. TG's have a wife if they are married to a female, a girlfriend if going with a female, a boyfriend if going with a guy, partner if gay and committed. Now if you wanted to post a message to all we call SOs, without using the collective term, you'd have to post to "wives, girlfriends, partners, or boyfriends". Now if you had to type or say that several times in a message you'd be wasting about 40 keystrokes every time!

Yes, by all means, refer to your SO as wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend when you talk specifically about them or if you have to hide their relationship to you, call them an SO. BUT please don't use the extra 40 keystrokes in a message if you don't have to. LOL! :cheeky:

Sharifemme



A little off topic, and not intended to offend anyone, just interested:

I was just curious about this, because I've noticed it on forums like this and other crossdressing boards over the years, that whenever someone is talking about their wife of girlfriend, or boyfriend, or husband, they almost always use the phrase "My SO."

I'm just curious, when did "Significant Other" become the defacto term in the crossdressing community for our partners? I guess to me it just feels like an effort towards being ultra-PC that always feels a little silly. I can't remember the last time, in public, I heard someone refer to their partner as their "SO." And I don't think the term "My SO" implies any less level of ownership to a person than "My wife" or "my spouse" does.

To me, Significant Other just feels so cold, it's like the phrase "Human Resources" which has taken over "Personel." It has made workers into a resource, human beings into a type of number to be filed away and considered like office supplies. I personally would never like to hear a girlfriend refer to me as her "SO." I like the term Boyfriend, I'm happy to hear it affectionately attributed to me. It doesn't feel like I was just assigned to her.

and we're trying to PC it up by not implying sexual preference, we seem to fail when we then identify our SO as "her" or "him." And why SO instead of LTC for Long Time Companion?

And does typing SO really save all that much time instead of using the more specific terms? It's not like we've made an effort to reduce all our other typing down to quick two letter titles. So why this specific phrase?

[Lilith Moon]

I don't especially like it, but it seems to be the only generic term that covers current partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, mistresses, whatever. Can anybody think of another word that works ?

[Kimberly]

Can anybody think of another word that works ?
Partner...

[Tamara Croft]

I often say 'SO', but I do say 'partner' or I refer to him/her as 'Tam'. Depends what mood I'm in, what type of thread it is etc... I don't think there is anything wrong with SO, you could change the meaning of it to 'Sexy Other' ;)

[Lilith Moon]

Partner...
Maybe, but when "Partner" is used in the UK it seems to imply "A SO I'm not married to".

[Kimberly]

you could change the meaning of it to 'Sexy Other' ;)
Of course!! There. Problem solved! :p

[Bernice]

At the risk of being yelled at, for suggesting a TLA (three letter acronym), how about: "MSO" = Most Significant Other? It would not have to imply the existence of any insignificant others, and would elevate the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner/etc. to a higher status than merely "SO".

Hugs,

Bernice

[Yes I am]

Or everyone could just make up their own acronym, I was just discussing this option with my BG.

[Toni]

All these acronyms mean to me is that I spend twice as long reading a post, trying to work out what's being said. If I called my wife my SO she'd think I'd fallen out of my tree. Anyway these things are just a load of cobblers for lazy typists.

[sparks]

Lazy Typist! Confirmed! My SO could verify!

[Joy Carter]

She is very significant to me.

[Leigh Davis]

I have to admit I've used SO before but feel awkward when doing it. So I use "wife" most times.

Besides, would anyone understand "my BH"?

Better Half?

:happy:

[Sarah Rabbit]

I use S.O. when I am on the forum, because it seems the norm. It is in no way meant to diminish my "Wife's" role or importance in my life. I love her dearly and would not use this if it was to hurt her. While we are on the subject and risk sounding hypocritical I hate the term 'Partner'. What a Wally P.C. term. I am my wife’s Husband, and she is her husband’s wife. Neither she nor I would refer to one or another as anything else.

Hugs, Sarah R. :bunny:

[sharifemme]

OK, how about "TO"? for "The Other"


At the risk of being yelled at, for suggesting a TLA (three letter acronym), how about: "MSO" = Most Significant Other? It would not have to imply the existence of any insignificant others, and would elevate the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner/etc. to a higher status than merely "SO".

Hugs,

Bernice

[sharifemme]

Or how about "OO" for "Only Other"


At the risk of being yelled at, for suggesting a TLA (three letter acronym), how about: "MSO" = Most Significant Other? It would not have to imply the existence of any insignificant others, and would elevate the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner/etc. to a higher status than merely "SO".

Hugs,

Bernice

[Julie Avery]

this could lead to a dangerous bout of acronym inflation...

vmso....very most signifigant other
evmso.....extremely very most signifigant other
etc

"Oh, I see, I'm just your 'so' today."

:eek:

[susiepaul]

i think my partner sounds much better and means the same if you dont want to say my wife.

i am single by the way so no SO partner or wife more's the pity

regards susie

[Yes I am]

Howsabout BWWSHC (B***h Who Won't Share Her Clothes)?



...Sorry, I didn't mean that, really.

[Amelie]

I use SO just to be generic and include everyone. Because I mostly use it to pose a question. Like "Do you and your SO go shopping enfem together?". It is just to include everyone without trying to make others feel uncomfortable. If you do not like it then don't use it. I do not care for it but, it is a simple non offensive term. Pretty simple really.


Kisses, April Marie

I think April said it best. Everyone can use whatever words they want, but when asking a question using the term SO includes the most members to answer the question.

Many times on CD forums questions will be asked,,"What does your wife think...." This phrase leaves some people out of the question,, like me.
I have a boyfriend, I have the same troubles and difficulties that a married Cd has. Yet some questions on CD forums ask specificly to the CD that have wives, which leaves me out of the question. But if the question was phrased with the word SO then I can answer the question or add my experiences.
I think it's good to use the phrase So when making a question, then some won't feel like they are left out.