more comfortable around women

[kristi98]

I feel comfortable showing my feminine side to women and not so much to men. I have female friends who know about Kristi but no male friends. My wife's sister lived with us for a few months. She saw my smooth legs and painted toenails. Almost every night I wore leggings or short shorts. Everyone was comfortable. But I would not be comfortable dressed like that in front of her brother. Anyone else feel this way too?

[Diane426]

I'm way better around women. I have less discomfort in the malls when women are there to help. My wife likes the way I can open up to women sales associates.

[ellbee]

Because when we're with men, we're supposed to be manly men. :brolleyes:


Plus, GG's just "get it" -- at least on some levels. :battingeyelashes: :thumbsup:

[Taylor186]

I'm more comfortable around women in both modes.

[UsuallyRick]

Yes! I am more comfortable around women.. rather not even have guys look at me,probably because I am attracted to women and not in the least way attracted to men.. I long for ladies to talk to/hang out with.. as noted before when I hang out with the guys I want my guy side showing🤷🏼*♀️And to do guy things( except watch football.. I never want to watch football..)

[Micki_Finn]

I am generally more comfortable with women, regardless of how I’m dressed.

[Frannie7]

Although I have good guy friends, my closest friends have been women. The only two people who know about Frannie, besides my wife, are women.

[candykowal]

Same here...been hanging out with women since I was a pre-teen.
From sharing items in my Barbie collection, to playing dress up, going out clubbing, and joinng the local garden club, most of my friends have been women.
Today I hang with ladies who own classic cars or women who join their husbands with their cars. I present as a husband.
My wife has gotten into being with us too with her own show car so that helps that I am not looked down upon for not hanging with the macho guys.
Some of these ladies are pretty amazing, some in the late 70's and cruising to weekly G2G's...we have so much fun.
Every month we celebrate birthdays for the month and one of us will bake cup cakes or cookies to pass around.
I feel right at home chatting with them.
When I present as Candice out in public, away from my husband role, I have a few younger GG friends who do not know the guy me and treat me like a confidant.
They have no problems chatting about bra preference, shower gel, even cleavage pixie dust.
Most women I meet, presenting as Candice, don't like interacting with guys much and that is a bit curious.
Maybe why I don't meet many married girls when going to a piano bar or tavern music venues.
Just the nature of the social events I present at, I suppose.
I think a lot of us who CD are more comfortable with women as we can relate on a lot of levels and visa versa....

[docrobbysherry]

I'm more comfortable dressed around women because they r much less judgmental. Often even curious!:thumbsup:

However, not dressed, in short order I find most women and men equally boring.:straightface:

Men go on and on with their macho BS. And women? Endless chit chat and gossip!:doh:

[JennyMay]

Defiantly more comfortable around women when I’m in male mode. Only my wife has seen me in female mode.

[bridget thronton]

Much happier hanging around talking to women than men

[Kiwi Primrose]

I've always been more comfortable with women. My closest friends are women, always have been.

[MonicaPVD]

Most women tend to be in a defensive mode around men. Whether they are prepared to face harassment, misogyny, sexual advances or plain old ignorance, they usually have their guard up. When they discover that a man (who is not their significant other) exhibits this type of gender expression, they usually loosen up and embrace this with sincerity. Not because they are into crossdressing but because it mitigates or eliminates the risk of being annoyed or threatened by a man. We do not threaten their beliefs around the societal pecking order, as we do to the traditional man. I also have found that some women are very amused by the idea that a traditional man would aspire to be a woman, with all the challenges that this brings in a male-dominated society. I enjoy being around women and men equally, although women are definitely much more accepting and open.

[fun4metoo2004]

I am comfortable around both. My close friends are cool with my dressing. the women are more encouraging than the men of course.

My latest venture out dressed to my waxing appointment and to my Chiropractor were very fun, and they were all women. they loved the outfits and makeup job I did. Validation helps the ego!

[GretchenM]

This is a very common trait among us. In a way, it is data that perhaps validates our inner sense of self that, at least in some ways, we are very female-like (but not female). It supports the reality of who we are and shows we are fundamentally not a bunch of confused lunatics. Feelings are very real and often define your most personal selves. You are a normal gender variant person, Kristi.

At dinner parties I characteristically hang with the guys for a while. I then get bored with all the talk about sports, politics, money, and cars. Yuk! I almost always end up in the kitchen with the women helping out and having wonderful conversations. They not only accept it; they like it that a man had the balls to be girlish for awhile.

[Ressie]

It depends on which men for me. I'm not gonna dress in front of my brother or any of my macho type friends from high school. As for women, there are some that find crossdressing wrong (to say the least) so I wouldn't make the assumption that all women are cool with it.

I'm most comfortable dressing around other CDs. Most gay men seem to be OK with it too, but maybe that's just my experience.

[Star01]

I still like watching my guy sports and talking hunting, fishing and cars regardless of my dressing preferences. Wouldn?t it be considered reverse sexism to only think of women as these frilly little delicate flowers? Of all the people who want to avoid type casting gender roles this is where I would expect tolerance and understanding.

I have said before, the women in my world are not little delicate helpless stereotypes. They work on motors, hunt, fish and oh yeah, they clean up well when they feel like expressing their feminine side.

[LilSissyStevie]

It's odd for me to say who I'm more comfortable around since I'm practically a hermit. I haven't been off my property in a year except for doctor's visits and a couple of other instances. I'm not complaining. But, I've always been more comfortable around women. The other group I've always felt an affinity to is effeminate gay dudes AKA "sissies." Maybe it's because I identify with these groups on some level or, more likely, I'm so skewed the other way that I need the balance. Any thought that I have a "feminine side" is a delusion (but a fun one).

[Teresa]

Kristi,
On the whole it is easier being with women but then my worse critic was my wife and possibly my sister , it was easier than I expected when my son met me . I feel we make men feel more awkward for more reasons than women feel . Obviously it's a case of " not on my doorstep " with some people but everyone knows I'm totally out to thr World so whatever they think isn't going to change that . Don't forget people knowing is very different to people seeing you in reality and I don't mean just wearing leggins .

[Vintage4sarah]

I have always been fairly comfortable in both worlds for decades. As Sarah has emerged more in my persona, I have been far more comfortable around women. My whole professional career was in education and to be successful you need to treat everyone equally and with respect. This attitude has tapped into my female side which has a lot of empathy for all. My mother was a strong influence there. Bringing up an outgoing daughter and interacting with all of her friends was also a plus in being comfortable with women as well as my female students. One more aspect is that education is basically female heavy profession and some of my best professional friends were women.

[Crissy 107]

Not even close, I love being around women and chit chatting. My wife tells all of her girlfriends that I like to be with the girls and did as recently as last Friday when we had dinner with one of them. :)

[BTWimRobin]

Maybe it's because of the huge female presence I had growing up. I've always been more comfortable around women.

[jenabrooks]

My first job was washing dishes in the 60s only woman worked there I got along there never had a problem. At the young age of 15 I felt I was one of them and enjoyed it. When I got older I was pressured in getting a man's job. It was rough at first because I didn't fit in.

[Star01]

Just to add to my previous comment. I grew up loving the outdoors and did a lot of guy stuff from military to being involved in auto racing. My favorite nightly entertainment is to watch car restorations and engine rebuilds on YouTube. Today I get the shovel and raked out to fix some snow plow damage out by the rural mail box.

When the cars or household mechanicals make funny noises I am the designated trouble shooter. The male role is too much a part of my daily life, not that I couldn?t be more feminine and enjoy those things but it would take a wholesale change in every aspect of my life.

This brings up an interesting observation. I don?t have the freedom to dress in my daily life and I think in a way it makes the male role easier. In other words, if I was free to dress I think it might contribute to an overall shift in behavior. Granted that causes me frustration but it also forces me to remain locked into my male role.

[Alice Torn]

I am now working for a nursing home part time as a van driver, taking mostly dying people to doctors appts. Sadly, some of the women working there are rude and mean to me. A few are nice. If they only knew that i am not a predator, though a life long lonely bachelor, at 66yo. I told some women in the past, that i struggled with CDing, and they were all greatly upset or disappointed and urged me to quit, and be the man i was meant to be, and that it was wrong. A few were neutral with it, but none were truly happy, except one lesbian. I am not dressing nearly as much now, for health reasons, financial, and social reasons, but the urge is usually there. I am trying to accept my male side more, and be ok with it, but i find so many women have been abused, raped, and mistreated by men, that, they cannot trust me, either. Sad world. I do not enjoy being with most men. Only a few. Same with women, only some. I am HSP highly sensitive person, far more sensitive than most women are! I know many women who seem more life men now, than many men!! Role reversals. I seem more like women than they are . At work, so many are blunt and harsh! The Asian women i have known, seem more gentle, and kind, in my experiences. I am very complex, and do not really know myself much. It all depends on the kind of personality, of the people, regardless of gender.

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Star, Interesting observations. Thanks for sharing that. I have to work on my truck a lot, and could not do that in a dress , hose and heels!

[Davina2833]

Crissy,

How did her girlfriend react to that? Any change in her attitude(girlfriend)?

Davina

[ellbee]

Okay, so I'm going to take this now from a different angle than I did earlier... :devil:


I'd be extremely careful with this one. And if I were you, I'd only try it if you were single/unattached (like me :p ).


Being comfortable with men?

You have to be very selective with this. Choose your man-friend wisely. Double check, and triple check. Make sure you have the proper friendship to do this.

Feel him out, over time. Observe. From what I've experienced, the correct kind of guy usually discreetly drops hints & signs, perhaps in the form of playful little "jokes" & comments. Remember, it takes two to tango. ;)


Yes, there are some men out there who find some CD'ers attractive & alluring. And while they may (or may not) physically act upon that, they still like to dabble in this space when they're in the right mood, time & place.

Personally speaking, I only do this when it's in-person, one-on-one. No one else in earshot. They, too, tend to reveal themselves during these little opportunities. And yes, it may be ongoing, over time.


What I'm saying is: You get to play the female role -- opposite of the man. :battingeyelashes:

And honestly? You don't even have to be dressed to do this. Just like you get a certain vibe from them, they can get a certain vibe from you.


There will be (borderline?) flirting & what-not. It comes from them first. Odds are, they will continue with that over time, testing the ice.

At some point? You may decide to dip your toes in, as well, with all this. It's a dance, it's a game. He is the man, you are the woman.


As I speak, there are two men (one around my age, one almost 15 years my senior) who I could probably end up fooling around with physically, wanting to get into my panties. However, I won't let 'em. And the messed-up part? Both are married -- to women.

Very interesting dynamic, for sure. Not something one is probably accustomed to. Harmless fun, really. I tease them a bit, maybe leading them on every now & then -- only to pull away. It drives them crazy. :devil:



Bottom line? Yes, it is possible to be comfortable with men.

The catch? You have to play the role of the *woman*! :heehee:

[kristi98]

Yes, I think there are married men interested in cross dressers for sex, but I would guess a small minority of them. Maybe they are bisexual and maybe not. It's like you say they see you as a woman and they like women. I had a male gay friend (before I was married) who was interested in me in a sexual way but did not like my cross dressing one bit. That's understandable because gay men like men. The only people I know personally that liked my cross dressing have been women. Many women do not like cross dressers. The women I have shared my cross dressing with are women that I was friends with and I knew were accepting of that kind of thing. I like sharing my fem side with women. I do not care to share my fem side with men. So maybe it is just my preference and not because there are more women than men who like it.

[Leslie Mary S]

I like to be around women all the time.

[Dutchess]

Yes, I think there are married men interested in cross dressers for sex, but I would guess a small minority of them.

Far more than you would think are . You are new here but I have said many times my ex husband had a steady supply of those types , just about anytime he wished , they would even call us on holidays to ask if he were free lol ! They are still chock full on Craigslist here in the states .

Alot of those guys , my ex included, have a difficult time accepting that these are biological males they are attracted to ( the ones that do this ) the clothing /decor in their minds somehow means they aren't REALLY men and this ISN'T actually gay sex .. etc...
My ex tried to excuse it by telling me that they weren't really male people .... not that any of that was ok but still ...

[kristi98]

Dutchess,

I would think you would have felt a lot of disgust for crossdressers after that experience with you ex. I am surprised you ended up here.

[ellbee]

Yes, I think there are married men interested in cross dressers for sex, but I would guess a small minority of them.

I have no idea what the percentage may be. Not even a significant minority, I would guess. But as Dutchess has explained, it seems as though there is enough of them, LOL.

And don't forget the single guys! ;)


Anyway, who knows if some of these guys would actually go through with anything. I think some just like toying with the idea, exploring their (bi)curiosity on a "safer" psychological level, perhaps simply getting mentally "aroused." You know, maybe getting up to a certain point, but backing out if things started getting too real, too fast, for their own comfort. Remember, I'm sure plenty of them go through their own internal struggles with this, as well, at least at some point.


Like I said, though, it is fun & interesting on our side of the equation, having the tables turned. For those who want/need a different & deeper aspect to the GG experience? Not a bad space to play in. Obviously it's not something for most CD'ers. It can be for me, though, with the right guy. :thumbsup:


So, yeah... It *can* potentially be equally comfortable with certain men, as it is with the GG's. Just in a very different dynamic, is all. I don't do it all that often, but I enjoy it when it does happen. It's also a "safer" way to explore things, without actually taking it to a physical sexual level, if one doesn't want to go down that road for whatever reason(s).


Anyway, having a little fun like this is definitely a wild & surreal trip through the exotic land of femininity! :battingeyelashes:

[kristi98]

Ellbee,

I understand you completely. Like you say, it is a different & deeper aspect to the GG experience. I do not meet many people and do not have any male friends that are intrested in me as a crossdresser. I enjoyed the company of a few men before I got married but they were not interested in my crossdressing. It would have been more fun if they were.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

As someone who is quite the introvert, I'd say I'm less uncomfortable around women.
I've always preferred women when dealing with doctors, dentists, hair stylists, co-workers. Hmm....

[lingerieLiz]

Several women know I wear women's clothes full time except for a few things. I'm sure some husbands know too. Men aren't interested in what I'm wearing. I have had a couple men tell me they liked my shirt (a blouse) and one who got in a fight with his wife and told her he didn't care what I wore I was a friend. Women catch on quickly. I used to go shopping with several women who knew

[KimberC]

Much happier hanging around talking to women than men

Online, absolutely.... but then again I've never gone out in public dressed yet

[sometimes_miss]

I get along with both men and women, but with men, it's pretty much reserved to the more intellectual ones. The constant macho one upsmanship pecking order of who's toughest / best shot with a gun (even with those who haven't shot one in 50 years), who's laid the most women, all gets old real fast.
Women, I get along best with the gay women, I suppose because of the lack of any sexual tension. I've now told several that I'm a crossdresser, however all but one have felt the need to tell me that maybe I should 'try being gay'. I just chalk this up, to people wanting others to be more 'like them' in some way, so that THEY can feel that their own behavior is normal. I have told ONE married female friend, who of course felt that she HAD to tell her husband (which essentially means I will never tell another straight woman), so now I will never know how many other men that HE might have told in passing discussion.

Now that I've moved across the country, I've lost touch with most of them, and living in a small southwest conservative town, I'll probably not come out to anyone else for the rest of my life.

[Rayleen]

Definitely , I have more female friends, and more comfortable with girls. Love their company !

[Beverley Sims]

I find greater comfort around women than men.

Usually they do not know about me.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I've had little experience of being "dressed" around others, the chief exception being my wife. However, it's certainly true for me that being dressed "in a serious way" would feel more comfortable in front of women. (I say "in a serious way" because if dressing is excused as a Halloween joke, it doesn't matter either way.)

But even in guy mode I more often feel comfortable with women than with men, depending of course on the person. So while I've got no problems being male, I guess the "feminine side" of me is real enough.

[Jillcder]

Definitely more comfortable around women when dressed I really enjoy interacting with the sales associates. I get very nervous around men when dressed one day last June I was out of town in a hotel it was a warm evening I decided after being out shopping most of the afternoon I would stop by the local liquor store and pick up a bottle of wine to take back to my room so I pick out a bottle and head to the register to pay the store was busy I was in line and the next thing I know I?m standing there all dolled up in a short summer dress in my cute wedges stuck between a group of construction workers buying beer I nearly panicked and left the store I know they were checking me out it was only a few minutes but felt like an hour I definitely had an extra glass of wine that night. What a thrill!