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[Jessicafem]

Does anyone know about how suppressing this whole thing might cause depression and how the symptomes might matifest themselves. I have some serious challenges with fatigue, stiffness, allergies to foods that seem to all be getting worse and different ways my body seems to be shutting down. I seem to young at 43 to be experienceing this. I'm on wellbutron and thats helped me to laugh again but I'm wondering if aggressively putting these feelings in the closet have effected others in similiar ways.

[sharifemme]

Martina...

Suppression of your inner self leads to stress. Stress can cause depression, heart troubles, aches and pains, fatigue, apathy and a whole number of problems. How do I know? Been there, still somewhat there, bought the blouse! I am convinced that it was the cause of a heart attack a few years ago and may have also contributed to the onset of my diabetes. I have aches and pains all over my body that seem to lessen when I indulge Shari and that get worse if I don't. Now that my wife knows about Shari and I have a support network of a few friends, things are much better but living with the "secret" for 50 years has taken it's toll.

Sharifemme



Does anyone know about how suppressing this whole thing might cause depression and how the symptomes might matifest themselves. I have some serious challenges with fatigue, stiffness, allergies to foods that seem to all be getting worse and different ways my body seems to be shutting down. I seem to young at 43 to be experienceing this. I'm on wellbutron and thats helped me to laugh again but I'm wondering if aggressively putting these feelings in the closet have effected others in similiar ways.

[Marla S]

Of course all this may cause depressions. Did you had a talk to your doctor ? Fatigue, stiffness and allergies might also be side effects of the antidepressant.

[kwebb]

I have found that when I try to suppress it my whole body starts to physically ache after a while. The pain goes away once I am snuggly in the clothes again. Deep but real.

[Bev06 GG]

I have found that when I try to suppress it my whole body starts to physically ache after a while. The pain goes away once I am snuggly in the clothes again. Deep but real.
Stress is an awful thing and can cause allsorts of manifestations in the body. Sometimes you dont even realise that you are stressed, but your body starts doing things that you just can't understand. I had asick mum all last year and altho I seemed to be coping admirably, I got back ache, cold shoulder, skin complaints etc etc and even suffered alittle bit of ashma, which ive never had in my life before. As soon as the stress ceased alittle, I started to get back to my normal self. Wierd because Inever particularly felt under pressure.
BEVxxxx

[Keri]

Back in the 50's a neurologist from Montréal, a Dr. Hans Selye, conducted stress experiments on mice which caused them to get cancers, so I imagine all sorts of other lesser ailments could be caused by self-imposed stress by those of us in (or even out) of the closet. I attach a review of his work.


Stress became a leading new idea in psychosomatic theory in the 1950s and Hans Selye emerged as its best known and most effective proponent. Selye was a Vienna-born, Prague-trained physician and biochemist who settled in Montreal in the 1930s and wrote the leading endocrinology textbook in 1947. In 1950 he published a 1,025-page monograph entitled The Physiology and Pathology of Exposure to Stress, in which he elaborated ideas he had been developing since 1936 on what he called the "General Adaptation Syndrome." 52 Selye’s theory was that various "stressors" (cold, heat, solar radiation, burns, "nervous stimuli") produce a generalized, stereotyped response in the biological organism as it works to "perform certain adaptive functions and then to reestablish normalcy." As the organism automatically mobilizes its defense mechanisms, the hypothalamus (a nerve center at the base of the brain) is excited first. Later, after a chain of effects, the adrenal glands produce "corticoid" hormones. Corticoid hormones cause a characteristic set of somatic reactions including the development of gastrointestinal ulcers.

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Martina

The answer is a big yes, trying to suppress your true self causes a great deal of damage. I spent most of my life trying to do that, and it nearly destroyed me. Since accepting myself and coming out to the world, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me, and I feel free. I also have been able to get off of all my bi-polar meds for a year now, and I've never felt better.

Karen

[kimberly x]

Hi Martina, and welcome to the forum. I am convinced that suppressing one's fellings does indeed take it's toll. Take me, here I am back again, and I am feelin better for it too. I have learned that not only can denying ourselves our true feelings can result in stress = illness. For me it can and has been an emotional roller coaster, which has a definate knock on effect in my daily life. Just interacting with people can become really awful for me, as sometimes I don't know how to be, because i feel femme inside. I don't expect everyone to accept what suits me but I guess it's better to embrace this wonderful part of ourselves wherever possible.

Hoping this helps you. :hugs:

Hugs & kisses Kimberly X.

[Janelle Young]

I think that suppressing who and what you are can indeed bring on stress. I know for me when I purged and stopped dressing it was a very stressful time. I did not feel happy, got more colds than normal, had lots more aches and pains.

I am happy with 'me' now and I feel great. As a side thought I do not think one can ever be happy and at ease in a relationship unless one is first happy and at ease with ones self.

[paulaN]

One thing I can testify too is don't try to suppress your transgenderizim with a bottle of booze. It does not work!!!!!!!! I tried for years. I am so much happier now that I am sober, I have also learned to accept myself the way I am transgendered. It's taken a long time to come to grips with myself but I am better for it in so many ways. This forum has helped a great deal. (thanks everyone). just writing a few sentences(like now) helps. It helps to think that I might help someone else. love Paula

[Jessicafem]

I was wondering too I'll try to give you the short story. I started crossdressing when I was 7 and got a strong turn on which later turned into sexual gratification that is still part of my closet ritual today. My ultimate fantasy is being a complete female. But when I think of this logically I'm not sure I'd be happy. It seems to always oscollate back and forth continuing to rip me apart so I tuck it away. I was able to purge one time for two years after my divore and focused on getting having sex with many woman to try to establish a different habit which looking back was a great time, but when I got my life came back together I really felt empty without this a part of it so I slowly started dressing again. I did see a few different therapists over the years one suggested that I might of sexually abused as a baby. I seem to have buried a lot of anger but use it to fuel myself in my business ambitions. All the sex change stuff really interests me but as far as trying to find my true self its hard. I guess if I could start life over again or if I thought I could pull it off convincingly and was financially independent I might pursue it but fear that I would not enjoy taking a back seat to my current lifestyle which seems to be important to me. Its pretty evident that life is a lot easier as a man. Can anyone relate to this?

[Maureen Henley]

Martina,

I can agree with the others that suppressing your femme side can lead to depression, as I have also been there. However, there is one other factor to consider.

I have taken Prozac, Wellbutrin, at least two other anti-depressants that I can't think of right now, and am currently taking Cymbalta.

Anyway, Wellbutrin was the worst. It caused me to have a hair-trigger temper. I humiliated myself by flying off at several friends for no good reason over the course of several weeks before I realized that it was an adverse drug reaction. After my doctor changed my prescription, I returned to my laid-back, peaceful self. And was less depressed.

My point is that perhaps Wellbutrin is not the right A-D for you. Talk to your doctor. There are several good anti-depressants on the market, perhaps a different one will be more effective.

My best wishes for your well-being,

Maureen

[AnnaMaria]

Martina,

Yes I do know just how you feel about your lifestyle. I am a computer consultant with my own business just starting out and it is hard to get things going, but I know that if everyone knew that I was a tg it would be even harder for me to get work. The profession I have choosen is still male dominated unfortunately and so I have to remain firmly in the closet.

And yes I also agree with you about the depression. After almost 36 years of being in hiding I started taking Zoloft about 4 months ago and I have found a peace of mind that I have never know in my life. I am still dealing with stress because of my business but it seems a little easier to deal with not that I am on the a-d. It amazes me that I spent all those years fighting who I am just because I was scared of what others might think of me. Now I realize that I have to be who I am or I won't be able to survive.

I find it sad that there are so many people in the world who have to be dependant on meds for their daily existance simply because society won't allow them to be themselves. And really that is what a lot of it comes down to ultimately. Now I won't say that it is the only cause nor would I say that everyone who is on an a-d is a suppressing tg but, at least for me I truely believe that my being a tg is at the root of my problems. It probably is not the whole problem but I am sure after spending over four months in counseling I have to say that each problem that we have discussed seems to stem from my feelings about being tg or something related to the fact that I am a tg.

huggs
Anna

[maid phylis]

i found that i was getting rashes when i was trying to suppress my feeling to dress and especially not being able to tell anyone.from the time i told my wife all the rashes went away and i am now able to dress and be my real self.love phylisanne:)