Wondering how long members have gone without feeling like dressing?

[Star01]

OK, let me start out by admitting that I'm asking this question on a crossdressing forum so I obviously still feel a connection but I have not dressed fully for close to a year and a half. I have had a few opportunities during this past year due to lock down and by the end of the day was too tired and disinterested to dress.

I know this feeling never leaves but I think a combination of things this past year have taken the wind out of my sails. It's such an uphill battle to try to do anything and I think that combined with age and other worries have kind of wiped out my desire to dress. I'm still going to therapy trying to make sense of of things but the sessions are now about life in general. I got put on medication for anxiety a couple of weeks ago and that seems to be having an effect as well.

I'm not sure at what point my crossdresser card will be revoked but I'm thinking that could be next. But seriously, I have gone years thinking my dressing was behind me, most recently from around 2004 to 2012 before it came back. I think a lot of feeling this way really boils down to being so restricted that it has become an out of sight out of mind thing. I guess I should be happy because it removes a layer of complication from my life that is hard to manage.

[beccadeath]

Well, I don't think the card will ever be revoked...it's just one of those things that's going to live in you forever, at least that's how it feels for me.

I've been much more active lately, and I don't know why that is...but I suspect it's for a variety of reasons.

I do want to add this, I don't know if anxiety is common among crossdressers or if having anxiety turns crossdressing into a "trigger" but I feeeeeeel that in my bones. I do wonder how much being on a good anxiety medication might suppress some of the urges or at minimum the anxiety around it.

[kimdl93]

I would say that the longest hiatus I can recall was a period of about 15-18 months following separation and divorce from my second wife. We broke up over failing to come to a workable accommodation of my gender issues, and I tried for months following to convince her and myself that I was able to quit. It didn’t work. When she filed for divorce and subsequently began a new, serious relationship, I gave up on denial.

During that time, I don’t suppose I went for long without “feeling” like dressing, but I abstained.

[jenabrooks]

I gone as long as 4 years and not one time did I have the desire and I though maybe I might have taken the blue pill instead of the red one. When it came back it came back hard and I couldn't shake it. This is who I am for life and I am peace with myself and love it. This is from my heart

[Karren H]

Almost 20 years.... come to find out it was due to a medical condition! That is under control now.... where as my crossdressing is out of control! Lol.

[Alice Torn]

The desire has not really gone away, but the energy and work to do it and act out is not there much. And old age, and health issues, both mental and physical . I have not dressed in several months now. I am all alone, and no one to help if i get badly injured or ill, and i need to put reality ahead of dressing . End of life issues, the dangerous scary times we are now in, too. I wish the desire would just go away for good. It is a deep inner need i think i was born with. When is die, it will be gone. I choose not to act on it though, as it has increased my isolation and distance from all relationships with others.

[Pixie_94]

I don't remember much the last times, but currently almost 5 months or so, trying not to even think about it or trying to repress if any sort of urge appears.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

A good question, Star--and a with a lot of very varied answers, so I see!

I suspect it makes a difference what's motivating the crossdressing. If it's chiefly a matter of gender dysphoria, the needs can be very insistent, and if they're not fulfilled, extremely depressing. Yet with some people it seems that gender-related needs can in some circumstances go underground for long periods, even for years, or not emerge at all until later in life.

Speaking for myself, my crossdressing has been at least partly sexually motivated, and since my early teens when it started I can't say I've ever gone more than a few weeks at most without wanting to crossdress. With me it's not "relief from anxiety." Luckily I've never habitually suffered from anxiety, and unlike some, I'm comfortable in male mode. It's more like "I just can't resist the urge."

I will admit I haven't put as much effort into crossdressing in recent years as I got older, into wearing makeup every time and so forth. The old TV/TS Tapestry magazine that used to be published in the 80s and 90s once ran an article called "The Tired Transvestite," about how many of us get lazy as we get older. Sometimes it's enough for me to toss on a skirt and panties around the house, with an accessory or two, or a nightdress at night, and I feel "feminine enough."

Also while I have not been historically an "anxious" kind of person, I have had serious vision problems during the past year, and that has been worrying. I probably have felt less like dressing during that period. Unlike some, I dress for pleasure and enjoyment and not to relieve inner stress. It was the same with smoking, when I used to smoke--I gave that up sixteen years ago. Apart from the nicotine addiction itself I smoked for pleasure and not, as some people do, to relieve stress. So after the initial phase, I had no trouble giving it up permanently, since there are other pleasures in life, unlike those ex-smokers who are driven to find other ways of relieving stress and have a hard time quitting for good.

But crossdressing is different. The desire to dress does wax and wane somewhat as the weeks go by, but it's never left me for very long. I'm sure I would have a very hard time if I were obliged to give it up entirely. That's something I've never succeeded in doing, despite making game efforts in my earlier years. My resolve never lasted more than a few weeks at most, until I finally decided to "give up giving it up"!

[Samm]

The longest I've gone is a year. Which was the first year I met my (now) wife.
Any other time where I did not dress was during new relationships.... It always comes back.
Now, my dry spells are due to working two jobs. But are never longer than a week.

[JocelynJames]

At one point I went 10 years, but I was just very busy with a family and business and was in the closet anyways. Nowadays ,
I regularly go 7 months or so. I talk my self out of dressing quicker than I can talk myself into it.

[countrygirl]

6 months

[April Rose]

I've gone years without dressing. I don't think I've ever gone more than a week without thinking about it.

[Raychel]

I went almost 15 years. After I got married
and kids were growing up. Then it came back
and even stronger then before, on a few month rest
period now.

Maybe be a couple of months before I get a chance again
But definitely not turning in my card.

Time will come and Raychel will be back for sure

[sometimes_miss]

About ten years. Turned out, it wasn't gone, just subconsciously repressed because everything else in my life was going well at the time. Like a computer with nothing much going on, the repressed thoughts going on in the background never made it to consciousness. But start to overload it with other tasks, like dealing with losing a job, having to work a lower paying job full time, go to school full time, and deal with an irritable wife full time, and that background thought process will bring everything else to a halt, while it takes priority over all others.
After that ten year hiatus, the desire to crossdress arose to conscious prominence with a vengeance.

[Teri Ray]

Depends............... I started very young (7-8 years old) got married and started a family and went 25 years without dressing and then BAM the desire and opportunity struck me and I dressed on and off from then on. I have had periods where I can barely think of anything else besides dressing being planning or buying items to wear and then I can go for months being busy with life and never have the desire to dress, even when opportunity presents itself.

I have checked my CD handbook and found that as long as you keep a minimum of one pair of panties somewhere in your house you will not loose your CD card, provided you check on the panty location once a month.

[Leslie Langford]

How long have I gone without feeling like crossdressing? The short answer is several hours...maybe, and on a good day.

As for the opportunity of acting upon it...well, the short answer again is "Covid 19", and the dearth of "Leslie" time, what with all this "togetherness" with my spouse during these social distancing and forced lockdown times...:doh::sad:

[kayegirl]

I agree with Leslie, there is a difference between thinking about dressing, and actually being able to dress. Luckily this does not apply to me now, but in the past, I constantly thought about dressing, but due to work and family etc. only got very rare opportunities.Now, it's the other way around, it's a rare day when I don't dress to some degree.

[prene]

max maybe one week, usually not more than 10-12 hrs, always underdress

[suzy1]

Two minutes and 38 seconds not counting when asleep and not dreaming. :)

[Angela Marie]

I once went almost 2 years without dressing, but he urge was always there. After I started dressing again I knew that something deeper was involved.. Now the pandemic has drastically cut down on my dressing, mostly because I don't like wearing a mask with my makeup. However there is a bright side. A few weeks ago I applied for a position; and when the question of sex was listed I chose the response, which I cannot quite remember, which basically said neither. I went to the interview with a nice pair of women's dress pants and a small purse. No make, wig, etc. I don't know if I got he job but going out for the first time presenting as a female so to speak was liberating; because I now feel I can acknowledge my feminine side openly. So long answer as I said I did stop for a while but no more.

[Krisi]

I feel like dressing pretty much every day, but I sometimes go for long periods where I can't so I just get over it and do what I'm supposed to do.

[GretchenM]

Great question Star. Raychel describes the way it was and has been and is for me very well. There have been long periods where the needs to dress have declined to nothing. But the sense of the female-like identity is always there in some form or other. She was my enemy for 59 years; the one who made me do things that I had been taught, somewhat forcefully, were wrong. "I am a male and males don't wear women's clothes unless there are some marbles missing." Now she is my best friend and we collaborate on everything, but that does not actually require dressing to do. For me, Dressing is just an outward way to express that inner feeling that nobody can touch or eliminate. Gretchen does not need to be all there is in the expression because she does it in other ways that involve female-like behavior.

On the other hand, on most days I do wear something that is designed, manufactured, and marketed to women. I love women's T-shirts even though they are almost identical to men's. They are usually longer and the fabric seems a bit better and softer. But the colors are amazing. Rarely do you see that in men's T-shirts. And on most days I underdressed to some degree, but that is not an outward expression.

It is not unusual to have lulls in those of us where going 24/7 with transition is not really a need or even a want. We are part of a spectrum that is vast and extremely variable. Nevertheless, for me, it is fun once in awhile to really go for it and do the complete transformation. It feels really wonderful, but after a few hours it often slides back into the partial mode. But that does not mean the feelings and identity pattern that produces that desire goes away. It is still very much a part of my daily behavior to have a usually little bit of dominant female-like feeling that, now, is smoothly blended with the male-like feelings. Up until 9 years ago it was a war; now it just me and so far as I can tell all my marbles are still there.

[Stephanie47]

How long with feeling like dressing?
The short answer is when I was in the army for two years; especially when I was in Viet Nam. All thoughts and energy were directed to surviving. The last time I was able to fully dress from wig down to heels was pre-covid. My wife babysat our grandchild at my daughter and son-in-laws apartment on New Years Eve 2020. In January, 2020 she was overnight in the hospital post op for a total knee replacement. When my wife fully retired from the teaching profession I lost the daily opportunity to be en femme for seven hours daily. Now? Until Covid is squashed to the extent my daughter and son-in-law want to escape overnight and my wife babysits again it is limited. My wife sleeps late. A long time ago she made me a ankle length fluffy bath robe. So, today, like most mornings while I am banging away on this keyboard I am wearing a bra, panty and full slip under the bath robe. Other mornings it is one of the nightgown I sleep in as my wife and I sleep apart for medical reasons. Just yesterday I order a Shadowline long nightgown in black. I recently bought a red Shadowline nightgown. That's about the extent of my femme time; sleeping in a choice of pink, red, white, and teal nighties with matching bra and panty and changing into a full slip in the early morning.

[Star01]

Even when my thoughts turn away from dressing I still shave my body and put on scented lotion and panties most days. I am not purging either and I fully expect to want to dress again. I am close to two weeks out from the second shot and recently purchased a much nicer vehicle to restore my mobility. The desire to dress will come back.

[Cheryl T]

How long without WANTING to dress?
Honestly I would have to say no longer than a week Ever. And during that week I'm sure I thought about it many times.
How long without actually dressing? That's different. When I was younger and in school I probably went months without it. Once I got married that all changed as I was of course surrounded by femme things all the time.
During the last 16 years I don't think I've gone a day without wanting to dress and I haven't gone more than a day or two without dressing.

[CrossKimmy]

Oh maybe a day or two.

[Jessica_NZ]

I have recently gone about 8yrs without wanting or needing to dress. I had alot going on in my life, which led to severe depression. But since I have gotten through this and come out the otherside, all my passions have come back - and dressing has come back in full force!

As others had said, I would say its more about what's going on in someone's life - I don't think it ever goes away, it's always there just maybe suppressed somehow.

[Judy-Somthing]

After getting married and having kids I stopped for close to twenty years.
After the kids moved out the and menopause (you know) the Pink Fog came back.

[Diane426]

I can't think of a time I didn't think about it, mostly because it's been a part of me sence I was 5 or 6. If I'm not dressing I'm planning what I'm wearing next. I really believe that this is how my life is suppose to be from birth. I'm happy being a guy but way more as the fem side of me.

[Sometimes Steffi]

How long have I gone without feeling like crossdressing? The short answer is several hours...maybe, and on a good day.

As for the opportunity of acting upon it...well, the short answer again is "Covid 19", and the dearth of "Leslie" time, what with all this "togetherness" with my spouse during these social distancing and forced lockdown times...


Yes, yes, yes. That's my answer.

The question was how long have gone without feeling like dressing?

Not counting sleeping: maybe 4 hours.

Actually dressing: About 16 months, 13 due to COVID and 3, because I didn't have any place to go.

[darla_g]

I can only dress every few weeks. That's why i place so much effort in picking outfits, and having my wife help take pictures of every opportunity. It becomes a photo shoot which i suppose some people may find too frequent. We have made this our normal routine and it helps get me through times i cannot dress. But i am also in the mode of trying to pare down a bit and get rid of the excess.

I also go out and constantly look for new things online, like makeup looks or styles of clothing and then of course SHOPPING. This is at least a couple of times during a week. That also explains the large cache of clothes and shoes i have. It is an addiction.

I try not to dwell on the negatives of not getting to dress enough or not be able to go out.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I love women's T-shirts even though they are almost identical to men's. They are usually longer and the fabric seems a bit better and softer. But the colors are amazing. Rarely do you see that in men's T-shirts.

This might be slightly off topic, but it's a good point, Gretchen, about the essential differences between men's and women's clothing. One of these differences is "softness," as you mentioned, but another is color. That's not to say men's clothes can't have color in them, but there are certain limitations. One of them can be that the color is limited to small areas. So a man can wear a jazzy tie with a business suit, but the suit itself is sober. I have some T=shirts (male) with great designs on them, full of bright color--but the background is typically black. Which is fine insofar as it enables the design to stand out by contrast. As opposed to this, many women's clothes are covered all over in bright or delicate colors, and designs of numerous kinds. No wonder we refer to men's clothing as "drab."

Another tiny point: notice how "T-shirts" (worn by men as well as women) are invariably called just that, while women's tops are referred to simply as "tees." The word "shirt" is more suggestive of a male garment, but as we know, it's OK for women to wear male clothes--though not for men to wear female clothes!

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

I can't think of any stretch of time when I didn't want to. And before joining boards like this thought that was universal before learning about all the variations among us.

[susanmichelle]

Almost 20 years.... come to find out it was due to a medical condition! That is under control now.... where as my crossdressing is out of control! Lol.

My cross dressing is also out of control I?ve been dressing daily now 24/7 for the last 5 months now. I used to even just go out in the evening and would go into gas stations to get a coke or cup of coffee snd that?s how it started with me going out to free myself I now don?t care anymore snd haven?t had a single problem. As far as how long I went it was 6 years I didn?t dress due to medical reasons plus excessive weight gain due to water retention. As I said now I?m out of control lol going 24/7 with no end in sight.

[Lana Mae]

I went 34years and 5+ months with only 5 times wearing panties and purging them due to a totally non-accepting wife! After her passing and a respectful time of mourning, I was out buying panties! Pink Fog like a tidal wave! Since then, the longest with no desire or not following through is 24-48 hours! But now I am a transwoman and am 24/7/365!
Hugs Lana Mae

[SaraLin]

Let me see... I guess that the longest I've gone without feeling like dressing was probably a day or two when there was just so much else going on on to distract me.

I think that the longest I've gone with doing ANY dressing would probably be about 4-5 years.

[Dena]

I always wear panties and sleep in a nightgown every night. I do like to lounge in lingerie on my days off. I bought a new wig
about two years ago. I have not dressed fully for a long time now, close to 20 years except for maybe 3 Halloween nights.
All my makeup is beyond expired.

[XemmaX]

At the moment i normally feel the urge a few times a month but i have also have had periods where i dont feel the need for some months. Never been over a year.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Star01, I have gone years without a thought. Recently I think I have dressed once in a year and a half. Way too long. Take care.

[charlotte72]

its a good question but it never leaves you. Time is only relative. The impulse is up and down I suppose. As i got older there are more opportunities. For many of us still 'hidden' its a journey.

[Kendra Sue]

When I get really stressed the. Pink fog comes
Rollin in

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Deleted by Teresa.

[Mackem Sue]

Last year was bad for me with a family loss and bereavement-related depression. That killed the urge to dress in its tracks.

It seeped back as the grief lifted and approaching the year, the urge came back with a vengeance.

I now basically dress most times I'm on my own. Some weekdays with me working from home due to COVID, I can safely say I might be dressed 21 out of 24 hours depending upon circumstances. I'll change out of female mode to go to the gym and go shopping then change back shortly after getting home. There's basically nothing to stop me and I'm not affecting myself or anyone else.

I don't know how this compares to others, however, I tend to be more inclined to dress when I'm in a happier mood. As dressing makes me happier, the logic goes I could perhaps dress when I'm in a bad mood (rare as I'm a fairly happy person generally anyway) to snap out of it.

Sue.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Star :hugs:, Nine years ago we traveled in our Motorhome with another couple for two months

I couldn't watt to get home and dress up again, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Donna St. Marten]

I think about 8 seconds.

[Melanie Sykes]

At this point in time I haven't dressed fully for 14 months or more, which is the longest dry period in my adult life (I'm not far off 50). I've really wanted to, but thanks pandemic. I do tend to find I think about dressing less often if I am busy doing things that fully occupy my mind, like interesting work, DIY projects, or out on the sea with friends. But normally, when the old brain is free to just tick over, my thoughts turn to dressing about 200 times a day. I've had times when I didn't feel like dressing if I'm feeling depressed, but since I'm not really the moping type that doesn't last for long. I'd say the longest I've ever gone without feeling like dressing is about three months, and that was mostly through being just too busy.

[KarenSusan]

I started dressing at about 7 years old and continued through high school. I did not dress in college so for the next 25 years I did not dress at all. Then when I was about 40, I started in again and it has ramped up with a vengeance. I'm 75 now and I dress all the time.

[Pumped]

Two minutes and 38 seconds not counting when asleep and not dreaming. :)

LOL! Same here! I might not have been able to dress, but I sure wanted too!

- - - Updated - - -


Hi Star :hugs:, Nine years ago we traveled in our Motorhome with another couple for two months

I couldn't watt to get home and dress up again, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

The heck with the dressing! I want to know how did you handle two months in a motor home with another couple without a murder conviction! We have another couple we travel with on motorcycle, but we often go our separate ways to take a break and just have some alone time with out wives. Plus we stay in motels and each couple has their own room so we got some alone time. I couldn't do the motor home thing with another couple, I would be in a rubber room!

[alwayshave]

I think about dressing everyday. I haven't been able to dress since February 2020. I am going out dressed in two weeks and I am so looking forward to it.

[EmmaBe]

1 to 2 years.

[Sabine Janus]

A few years

[MarinaTwelve200]

A couple weeks at most---But a couple years out of necessity and situation.

Its sorta like a drug---I can get my CD "FIX" and be OK for a week or so, and then the urge comes back. Then I wait for my next opportunity.
.

[Lacey New]

I guess that I have to answer this by considering dressing by degrees. It has been maybe three or four years since I have fully dressed in all of the underwear and a dress and I recently purged my last dress. Furthermore, it has probably been over a year since I put on anything more than panties and a bra even thought I still put on panties at more often intervals. But even that may vary from days at a time to months at a time. But than again, thinking about CDing may come more often. Unfortunately, life just gets in the way of that pleasure.

[Georgina]

Maybe around forty years ago I went through spells of loosing interest. However since then I always can't wait to get into a dress or skirt.

[Star01]

I should have worded this better. I think about dressing every day but by the time things settle down I?m too tired to see it through. Speaking more about the hassle of trying to dress and hide things in a DADT. At some point it gets tiring trying to juggle this secret life. I turn 70 this fall and am losing my grip on the desire to live this secret double life.

[cindychan]

Two weeks is usually the max I can go without going fully dressed up. I do go underdressed and toy with makeup/wigs quite often though.

[Geena75]

There are so many "qualifiers" to be used here. First, feeling like getting dressed up vs. actually dressing. Second, for me, pre-2013 and post-2013. Before 2013, when I found and joined CD.com, I would go for years without so much as thinking about feminizing. The most I would do would be to buy a pair of sheer energy, underdress once and while for a month, then throw them out and not think of it again for years. After finding more acceptance and information on this site, I have gone almost a year without dressing, a few months without really thinking about it. Since last fall, maybe a week without thinking about it, and a month or do without dressing.

Frankly, I disappoint myself.

[Ressie]

I don't remember... Years ago I always lived with other people which made CDing very unlikely. And during those long periods I probably forgot about CDing for a period of time. It didn't take much to trigger off the strong desire to don a few fem garments, but there must have been days, weeks or even months... Who am I kidding?

[Raychel]

It has been since Feb 20th
Since I have had a chance to dress
Traveling with Dad is more important now
Raychel does have a suitcase with me
But extremely unlikely it will get opened for the next month at least

That does not say I haven't wanted to

[Gilly68]

Probably about 4 years without even having a real desire to dress.

I purged everything in 2017 and the urge has only resurfaced in the last month or two. But now, I really need to dress, more than I ever have before.

[MilenaSometimes190]

I'd say 5 months, but this time I didn't purge anything so I didn't have to rebuild my wardrobe again like last time

[SissieScott]

I generally don't go too long in between, cause the longer I avoid it, the more intense it gets and becomes a NEED, not a desire. I also use it at times as stress relief. Being a man, society has a way of trying to tell you how to walk, talk, act, likes, dislikes....etc. etc. and the stress of work and society can get to you. Nothing spells relief like dressing does for me! Even better is when my wife initiates the dress up. She didn't lose a husband to my cross dressing.....she gained a *girlfriend*. She can have sex with her husband, or sex with a girlfriend without cheating or even leaving the house!

[Sissy_Michelle]

Star01,

I didn?t get a card? However, while I was Active duty I did ?under dress? a lot, and still do. Mostly because of habit and I don?t own male underwear. Though I am not on active duty any longer I try to dress as often as I can get away with it. I still cannot dress up at work but most other times I try to dress as androgynous as possible.

There has been a few times where I just didn?t feel like dressing even in panties. I would ask myself ?why?? And each time I answer because I am comfortable wearing these clothes, I like who I am and I will try to be as comfortable as I can, where I can.

@?-}??-
Michelle

[Claire M]

About 10 years. I started dressing when I was in 8th grade. But starting in my senior year of high school and through college and grad school and even a couple more years, with the exception one one Halloween costume I had absolutely no interest in dressing. Unfortunately, I assumed that my dressing when I was younger was just a teenage puberty phase thing ... silly me!

[Robin777]

This last year with everything going on, I went weeks without the urge to dress. Then I would dress for a little bit and that would satisfy me. Now since things are turning to normal, I have been dressing every night and enjoying it immensely.

[JaneAshland]

I went a little over a year, and could not resist dressing again.