Outfits: Paralysis by Analysis / Too many outfits, too little time?

[CharlotteCD]

I've seen a number of posts on here mentioning having over 50 of certain items, whilst I have a far more slimmed down collection.

I still find it very difficult to pick an outfit for the 2-3 hours that I may actually have to be dressed. It gets to the point where I probably spent 20 minutes of that time putting clothes on, then taking them off again.

My theory is that I am so desperate to wear ALL of my clothes because I only get 2-3 hours a week at best. It actually ruins my enjoyment, because I want to be relaxing and enjoying this time!

Anybody else find that they're spending more time dressed than they are relaxing?

[CrossKimmy]

I think the idea of choices in looks and styles is a big reason we love doing this. I love changing and trying on outfit after outfit. I?m not picking a dress from the closet and sticking with it. I want to see how I look and feel in all of the various fabrics and cuts.

[CharlotteCD]

I think the idea of choices in looks and styles is a big reason we love doing this. I love changing and trying on outfit after outfit. I?m not picking a dress from the closet and sticking with it. I want to see how I look and feel in all of the various fabrics and cuts.

If you were full time though, would you be the same, or would your urge to try everything on be satisfied by the knowledge you can wear another outfit the next day?

[docrobbysherry]

A gg friend and I r heading out to brunch on Sat. It's a 70's theme dress event.:daydreaming:

I have had literally, 15+ skirts and 20+ tops out all week, and am still not certain what I will wear!:straightface:

[Sallee]

Part or even a lot of the fun at least for me is dressing see how I look/feel in different outfits. It is tough to decide on one especially when I look so good in all of them:haha:

[AngelaYVR]

A tale as old as time! I used to pick out what I was going to wear only on the day and then waste a lot of time trying the options. Two things helped massively: slimming my wardrobe to only the clothes that I love (goodbye to the nice but never matched with anything blouses) and deciding ahead of time what I will wear. I still have those moments where I want to wear it all but I save so much time this way and I always end up wearing something that I really like no matter what.

[Natalie5004]

I find with me it depends. If I am going out shopping as Natalie. I wear toned down clothes and shoes. If I am in the house for the day I will swap out outfits every hour just for fun. But I am finding that by the end of the day I look like I have been through the mill. My makeup is messed up and my hair or wigs look like I have been in a fight.

But there is enjoyment in the actual act of dressing and putting on my makeup and eyelashes and stuff.

But at the same time women do not change clothes often during the day, so I feel I wear the same dress all day too at times.

My dress supply is less than 15. I have a new one on order from Nordstrom's rack. A maxi sun dress. It should be fun. I like to sit in my backyard and get sun when dressed. I want my legs tanned to the top and like like boy mode tan. I am worried that I might get tan lines with thin straps on my shoulders. I do not have a women's bathing suit. If I had a pool in my back yard that would have been taken care of already.

So, do I get stuck by choices? Not Really.

[CrossKimmy]

If you were full time though, would you be the same, or would your urge to try everything on be satisfied by the knowledge you can wear another outfit the next day?

That?s a really good question. I think I would still. I?m pretty utilitarian in male mode. It typically is the same fabrics and style from day to day to please societies idea of a male form. There?s not a lot you can do with that.

I?m pretty obsessed with female fashion so I?d definitely love trying all the options.

[kimdl93]

I really don’t spend a lot of time obsessing over what I’m going to wear each day. Of course, I have much greater freedom in that I live alone and enjoy being out in real life. Surprisingly, though, I find I can get by with a far smaller wardrobe than I had some years back when I was more closeted. I have pretty much ditched what I don?t wear (except shoes). You just never know when you’ll need or want a certain color or style.

[Teresa]

Charlotte,
More than one way to look at this , you find it hard because you have limited time as a crossdresser , I find it easy because I'm TG and full time , so I'm out the door in jeans and a blouse and a warm jacket and scarf if it's a chilly day to walk with my dog walking friends . I usually stay like that when I return because I have my housework and gardening to do . If I'm off shopping I ususally finish my makeup with powder and blusher , if it's warm enough I'll slip a skirt on and a smart casual jacket . I have a wardrobe full of nice outfits but they will stay there until the social events start up again .

The other point is I never know who is going to knock at my door , so I don't wear inappropriate clothes and high heels , just as most GGs wouldn't .

[Pumped]

When I take the time to dress I have made up my mind what to wear, right down the panties. Give me five minutes and I am dressed.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I can appreciate what you're saying, Charlotte. I also have many clothes and sometimes spend time trying different things on before deciding what I'm going to wear. I'm just more fortunate in having more time and acceptance. In spite of that I sometimes feel I "wasted" too much time trying on clothes, as you do, no doubt.

Is there any solution? It boils down to thinking differently about the problem. Oddly enough, you brought to mind a memory from way long ago when I was in school and the class was set a choice of essay subjects, one of which I've never forgotten:


"There are two ways of enjoying the ownership of a bicycle: you may ride it, or you may take it to pieces and put it together again; but the one pleasure excludes the other." Discuss.

In my mind it's one of those philosophical "Zen" things. We can make a decision to do one thing or another, but it ought to be a "mindful" decision. When we make it, we ought to savor the pleasures or other advantages it brings us, rather than dwelling on the discomforts or problems it brings, or bemoaning the fact that we felt "compelled" to make it.

So in the same vein, there are two ways of enjoying the ownership of women's clothes: we may wear them, or we may try them on, admire ourselves in them, and take them off again; but the one pleasure can exclude the other. To a certain extent anyway.

We might want to wear all of the clothes at once, but we know we can't. That's something we just have to accept. So if what we want most is to wear the clothes, we just have to make a decision. Pick something out, enjoy wearing it, and promise ourselves that we'll wear something else another day.

If on the other hand we feel the need to try many different things on before choosing what to wear, at least accept that "trying things on" and seeing how we look in them is a pleasure in itself. It's one to be savored, not regretted afterwards as though it were "time wasted," which it isn't.

[CynthiaD]

I dress full time. I spend about 15-20 minutes deciding what to wear for the day. Then I wear my chosen outfit all day. If I decide I don’t like it, I don’t change. I just remember not to wear that outfit again. Sometimes I’ll consign things to the "Goodwill" bag if I really don’t like them. To me, being dressed is more important than having the perfect outfit.

[Helena]

Some days I can just slip into something suitable instantly, other days I might have an outfit planned but when I put it on something isn't right, which can be odd as it might have been fine two days before, then I can easily waste an hour deciding. In fact when I started full time at work it became really difficult and would end up getting in to work later than planned.

[CharlotteCD]

That?s a really good question. I think I would still. I?m pretty utilitarian in male mode. It typically is the same fabrics and style from day to day to please societies idea of a male form. There?s not a lot you can do with that.

I?m pretty obsessed with female fashion so I?d definitely love trying all the options.

I think this sounds very similar to me. I live in the same clothes in male mode, yet I love the clothes options and styles for females nearly as much as I desire to be one.

I do feel that I'd be more like:


Charlotte,
More than one way to look at this , you find it hard because you have limited time as a crossdresser , I find it easy because I'm TG and full time , so I'm out the door in jeans and a blouse and a warm jacket and scarf if it's a chilly day to walk with my dog walking friends . I usually stay like that when I return because I have my housework and gardening to do . If I'm off shopping I ususally finish my makeup with powder and blusher , if it's warm enough I'll slip a skirt on and a smart casual jacket . I have a wardrobe full of nice outfits but they will stay there until the social events start up again .

The other point is I never know who is going to knock at my door , so I don't wear inappropriate clothes and high heels , just as most GGs wouldn't .

... This however. I know I'm at the stage of life where I've accepted I'm transgender, and my next stage is for me to work out how much that is going to be a part of my life going forwards.

I'd certainly like to live my life as Teresa describes, and I think the last line describes me perfectly - I am very conservative in my styling, and my dress is very much appropriate for my surroundings.

[candykowal]

Great thread...I could see getting lost into a large wardrobe of clothes and having nothing to wear.
I really never had that luxury of too many things to choose from, even when I was living as a bachelorette.
Even when Mom taught me/bought me womens wear, a lot of it was unisex styles.
So even today, I have clothes in my guy closet I can wear presenting as Candice.
Tuck in a collar, buy soft polyesters and fabrics in pastel colors, lightly bedazzle jean pockets, suede jacket, tennis shorts, and pleated slacks.
Accessories and jewelry can also be unisex, shoulder bags, sunglasses, gold chains, handmade fiber bracelets, and watches.
Expanding your wardrobe to straddle both genders doesn't help the Paralysis by Analysis, but it allows the decision to finalize an all femme dress or intermix unisex items.
Often I relegate to my limited all girl wardrobe and live with the look.

[Stephanie47]

When I had the opportunity to be en femme for seven hours daily I mentally planned my outfit. I have a binder with all the dresses I have bought over the years. It's a good reference book. If the weather were to be like today (71 degrees) I'd pick out a summery dress. Yes, I have amassed 162 dresses, too many panties and slips. That is called "retail therapy." If I cannot be en femme then in addition to banging away on the key board I will buy something pretty. If I were to live alone I'd probably preen out the dresses I not longer want and hang the balance in the closet. Frankly, if I had only two or three hours a week I would not bother. I called that "crumbs of time." I'm just happy I can wear a nightgown, panty and bra every night.

[Judy-Somthing]

I like to have a new outfit for each time I dress and I like to have it ready the day before I dress so I don't waste any time.
If I don't have something new, find it hard to get in the mood.

[susan54]

I am not 'out' and (please don't start an argument) I am not trans. At no point in my life, not even when spending several days in a city hotel presenting as a woman, have I ever identified as one. It is acting and it is fun. I prefer wearing dresses and skirts and everything that goes with them. I spend all but a few waking hours a week in these clothes and sleep in a nightdress. I take the clothes seriously. I have had style and colour consultations as Susan and many of my clothes are high end. I have over 1000 skirts and over 1100 dresses. I have no difficulty at all deciding what to wear though I might have difficulty finding it. I love discovering a dress I had forgotten about. I do not bother with make up or a wig at home and when I go out I take great care over my outfit and accessories. I then present as an elegant woman but not a terribly convincing one but it is amazing how many people don't look closely enough to realise - I am too old to attract attention. I never wear trousers and I never dress to blend in - the whole point is to look as elegant and well-dressed as possible. My stylist said I should not wear black but I do it anyway and am currently wearing a black and grey Coast dress. Even at home everything must work together to get the right look. To me the choice is not a problem but something wonderful, and when I buy a new dress it now has to offer something I do not already have in my collection. I find my starting point is my legs - do I want to show them off? Sheer or opaque tights? Choose colour which then narrows my choice of dress. I usually wear two dresses a day, one when I get up and another after an early evening shower. Though the tights are theoretically the starting point I possibly have a certain dress in mind when selecting tights. Have these clothes taken over my house? Yup. Fortunately I have a lot of storage and a large loft. The dresses and skirt sin the loft get taken out and reviewed every couple of years and I dispose of some, but not without giving them a test wearing first, and I have changed my mind a few times. Sometimes I come across a dress that was a five-star favourite ten years ago and now does nothing for me.

[Karren H]

Being an obsessive engineer.... I plan everything out to the Nth degree including my wardrobe.... and all the accessories. Way way before the event.

[jacques]

hello Charlotte,
I understand your problem.
It is because men's clothes are so BORING so I don't have much choice. Trousers are black and all the same length. Shoes - comfy or walking. Tee shirt and hoody or shirt and jacket if trying to look smart. Wear a tie if going to a funeral. Job done.
But when cross-dressing I have so many colours, textures and styles to choose from...
luv J

[darla_g]

i'm just like Karren i plan to the nth degree. I have a pic i have taken for all my dresses, tops, skirts & pants. I figure out what shoes, stockings, or other accessories i will pair them with. Plan which wig will go with each outfit as well. Its a modern version of paper dolls but just more fun.

[NancyTO]

I have bought about a dozen dresses online during the year long Covid restriction on get togethers and restaurant restrictions. So no where to wear the dresses out till the vaccines give us heard immunity come late summer, early fall. Did a small clearance of about 15 outfits to the charity donation bin, but still have waaay too many dresses and women's outfits.

[Helen_Highwater]

One of the reasons I keep my wardrobe fairly small is that I know firstly the limited time I get to spend out and about is the defining limit on what's possible for me to wear. As it stands I have too many things to have time to wear them all in 7 days of outandaboutery.

For the time I get indoors I have a small core of "What a GG would wear to do the house chores in" things. Four or five skirts, a collection of simple tops, five bras and then I have 4-5 dresses that I can wear if I want to be just a bit dressier.

Rotating wearing those means I get variety but without the angst which many have described. If I want to add further variety the one item gets added, and one goes back into the storage. I'd rather, and do, spend my precious dressing time dressed plainly than mess about agonising over too many variables.

One further advantage is that in my wardrobe I have a collection of more "special" items hanging there waiting for their turn to adorn me once I get to step out into the wide world. Note though, special doesn't necessarily mean fancier or more glam. Might be a simple black skirt or white blouse, more likely just to be better quality. A gals got to look her best for her public.

[Kandi Robbins]

I have found that part of being a woman is having female clothing, more that one can ever wear. I have lived most of my entire life with three sisters and a mother, then a wife and two daughters. I have shared a closet with my dear wife for 35 years (only 6 of which Kandi existed) and she owns more items than she can ever wear, given that her job requires a uniform. Don't fight it, don't think about it as a male, embrace it as part of being a woman. Vetting outfits makes you exactly who you are!

Me, I own well over 100 dresses and more skirts, blouses, blazers, tops, jeans, etc...... than I will ever wear!

[NancyTO]

I have found that part of being a woman is having female clothing, more that one can ever wear. I have lived most of my entire life with three sisters and a mother, then a wife and two daughters. I have shared a closet with my dear wife for 35 years (only 6 of which Kandi existed) and she owns more items than she can ever wear, given that her job requires a uniform. Don't fight it, don't think about it as a male, embrace it as part of being a woman. Vetting outfits makes you exactly who you are!

Me, I own well over 100 dresses and more skirts, blouses, blazers, tops, jeans, etc...... than I will ever wear!

Kandi is my soul Sister! :)

[TheHiddenMe]

Too little time, but never too many outfits!

My clothes are either ones I bought (because I liked the way they looked), ones my wife didn’t want anymore and I wanted them, or ones my GG friend Michelle gave me (what I call Hand-Dee-Downs). Therefore, the vast majority mean something to me and I am always looking for an opportunity to wear them out.

Occasionally I cull the herd and donate some items, usually because of fit or a gift didn't suit me.

But too MANY girl clothes, NEVER!

[AngelaYVR]

I find it so odd that owning more clothes than you can do justice to is a source of pride! Then I think of how I search and search for particular pieces and most likely they are all just lying unworn in stashes, grrrr.

[Cheryl T]

I always spend more time deciding what to wear than is needed.
Drab is so simple, grab a t-shirt, throw on some jeans and sneakers and out the door. But getting dressed? Well, that's altogether different.

Sometimes it takes 5 minutes just to decide on what panties and bra to wear. Then into the closet and it's "do I want to wear this ... I haven't worn this in a long time ... I really want to wear these shoes, but they don't go with the outfit I was going to wear". And on it goes. It's time consuming and it is Fun. It's part of being a woman and sometimes it's the best part.

[BrendaPDX]

I may try on several outfits before settling on one. Sometimes I go straight to the one I want. Sometimes I just get out, and then come back and try on several outfits just for fun.