Those close calls (to being seen)

[JennB]

As a non-public, not out, just periodic cross-dress by myself and with my wife (who is supportive, tolerant, and accepting) dresser...had one of those close calls today.

With my wife out of town, and an afternoon of working remote and on telcons (non-video thankfully), I took the opportunity after some morning yard work to shower, shave, and take advantage of the afternoon in the house and dress fully. My wife, returning tonight, knew and had no objections to coming home to me dressed.

That being said, and just after I had gotten dressed and headed downstairs to my basement office to settle in for the afternoon, I heard our driveway monitor ring. And then the Ring Doorbell notification popped up on my phone.

Hoping it was the mail or a package delivery, my heart fluttered when I pulled up the camera and saw my father in law getting out of his truck and headed to the door.

Knowing our door codes, he had picked up mail for my wife from her business office to deliver it.

I closed the door to my office in the basement and continued talking on the telcon I was on, hoping he wouldn't come looking for me in the house to say hi.

Time slowed.

Thankfully, he dropped the mail off upstairs, and then headed back out, not bothering to come down while I was talking on the call.

Sigh. Relief.

A close call that would have lead to a VERY awkward moment? Surely!

It isn't the first close call I have had, fortunately there haven't been many, but there have been a couple. Is it just a matter of time before one of these close calls becomes a hit instead of a near miss?

Statistics seem to indicate that would be the case no matter how careful one is. I am someone who is a part-time dresser and content with not having this side of me shared with others beyond my wife. I honestly would prefer to keep personal things personal. It is a bit scary to think that one mishap could break that confidence. Or at least lead to very uncomfortable interactions with whoever "caught" me if it ever happened.

Phew for today. But it is certainly an ongoing concern for future dressing sessions.

I know many of you have had similar experiences, and sometimes those experiences drive a person to the point of willfully or unwillingly then sharing that part of them with more people. But I know it has also resulted in very hard situations for many also.

No real solutions here for anyone, just a story from today.

[Helen_Highwater]

So why not keep a rapid change bag of clothes in your office?

[Bobbi46]

Helen, Sound advice indeed!!

[JennB]

Dang good advice Helen! Not sure that would have given enough time thought to help with the makeup, forms, wig, in that time probably though. Probably a (now well) recognized danger of having someone else have access to your house in an unlimited manner. Any other "close call" in the past (the very few there were) were only drop by visitors and were managed by simply not answering the door.

[CharlotteCD]

I've had a number of close calls like this, and it's only been solved by limiting my dressing. I'll only dress now if I have a guaranteed 4-5 hours and there aren't any parcels, post or visitors scheduled.

I hate that restriction but it's what I need to do.

[Karren H]

Bet he already knows or suspects.... and didn't want to see you dressed that's why he left....

[JohnniX]

I would say that no matter how many precautions you take, it's only a matter of time until you get accidently busted. Assuming you don't want to stop dressing or purge, then you have to ask yourself - who would you prefer doing the busting? Yourself, or a family member, neighbour, friend, work colleague, mailman etc...

Then there are pros and cons to outing yourself, but at least you will be honest and there'd be no shaming from someone else or whispering behind your back etc... and if you got seen dressed, it would be no big deal after 'coming out.'

It's your call though, I wouldn't try to influence it one way or another. I can only say what worked for me.

I had a very hostile ex-wife who kept threatening to tell the world about my dressing, until I summoned up the courage one day and came out as trans. I got 99% support in the local area and across the world. It always opened the door to dressing more and dressing in public to a greater extent.

Good luck whichever way this goes!

[docrobbysherry]

I dressed safely and securely in total secrecy for over 15 years in inside my home. With the kids at my ex's, I didn't answer the phone or the door. Everyone thot I was out and no one else had the keys to my house!:battingeyelashes:

My private, bliss ended when my 18 y/o daughter moved in with me full time. After nearly being caught a number of times, I was so stressed I wasn't enjoying dressing anymore! So, I had to tell her!:eek:
And, we developed a DADT system that worked!:thumbsup:

[Stephanie47]

I am primarily an in-home dresser. With Covid and a retired wife there currently is not a lot of time to be en femme. Before Covid I had an entire seven hour day to be en femme and work around our home doing domestic chores. Our home has only one large picture window which faces the street/walkway. I just kept the drapes drawn closed with the outer storm door locked. Our front door is seventy feet from the street with a seven foot incline. I always knew the day there was a package delivery made. None required a signature. UPS, Fedex, USPS delivery trucks all have a distinct engine sound. There were many times a neighbor or canvasser or a seller would ring the door bell. I just did not answer the door. If anyone says something later all I say is "Oh, that was you when I was taking a shower." Anyone who knows me knows when I am home because we are a one car family and the garage has been converted to living space. I also screen telephone calls so I do not get any surprise visits. When I did have those seven hours and, if I get post-covid some overnight time, I did not and will not paint my nails or use heavy makeup. For me, that is not worth the time and effort, and, if there was an emergency it takes too much time to to clean up.

[Rachel Anne]

I walk out during the quiet times of night. Sometimes 100' to my mailbox. One night I stepped out, and it was New Years, about 3 am. There should have been no one around.

I go out to drop my letters off, and as I'm walking back, a car turns down my cul-de-sac. They were lost, and had their brights on. There was no hiding. Just have to suck it up and pretend like it ain't no thing.

I was, admittedly, dressed for the holiday. Very tasteful. Although my makeup is probably good up to 10 feet or so, it was really, really hard to not pick up the pace back to the front door, though.

[Geena75]

I've always wondered how a Jehovah's Witness or Mormon door to door person would react to me fully made up and masked answering the door. I live rural, no neighbors for about 1/4 mile. If corn is planted around the place I have a 7 ft privacy fence all around the house and yard, and my deck behind the house is almost totally secluded. Typically, though, no one stops, even though I have had to do a quick change a couple times when a family member unexpectedly stopped by. One time I was on the deck when I saw them pulling in. Luckily I wasn't doing make-up at the time and could quickly change outer wear in the bathroom.

[CharlotteCD]

Close call again today. Wife says she'll be home at 11.30, so I make the most of it.

It gets to 10.45 and I just had a funny feeling about what I was wearing, how long to put things away etc.

I took everything off and put things away, and my wife walked through the door about 3 minutes after I had put my male clothes back on, and 35 minutes before she said she'd be back.

[Natalie5004]

I stepped into my back yard, that is locked and private to see 2 policemen standing there. I was wearing a black halter dress with forms. They said hello sir. What are you two doing here I asked. Looking for a person that is stealing mail. We think he was running through these back yards. Did so see anyone? No.
Needless to say I was kind of shocked. The last thing in the world I would expect was two cops standing there.

[Helen_Highwater]

Natalie,

Sure they weren't the fashion police checking you out?



Close call again today. Wife says she'll be home at 11.30, so I make the most of it.

It gets to 10.45 and I just had a funny feeling about what I was wearing, how long to put things away etc.

I took everything off and put things away, and my wife walked through the door about 3 minutes after I had put my male clothes back on, and 35 minutes before she said she'd be back.


Pre pandemic I usually got a 5 hour window to dress on a Saturday afternoon and shorter periods on other odd days of the week. Whatever the maximum time I could expect I'd work on taking 20% off that as the actual working time I'd allow myself before returning to drab. Never wore makeup, takes too long to take off and sods law says you'll miss something.

I can understand trying to make the most of such precious time but I found that by being that bit more cautious it reduced my stress levels and made the time I had more enjoyable. I incorporated the fab to drab into the experience, undressing if you will, with my femme head on, using femme mannerisms, actions, to stay in that mode for as long as possible but working towards being as safe from discovery as possible.

[Jane G]

I would be surprised if he doesn't already know to be honest. I never told any of my family about my dressing. But I realised a very long time ago, that all my close relatives knew. down to my cousins. I still vividly recall a time when I was still as senior school, when a good friend of one of my Aunties looked straight at me, through the window of my sisters bed room. He knocked, I was frozen so did not go near the door. He left and to the day she died my Auntie never said a word directly to me. I used to pick up on the odd conversation at family gatherings and would under dress in quite an obvious manner at times. But every one just left me to be myself and never pushed the issue, apart from my farther, who was not a fan of the whole me, which always hurt a bit.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Jenn, I had a couple of Police Officers stop by looking for someone that used our address. Great, just great, totally en femme; I answered the door, the youngest officer did a drop jaw, the seasoned veteran just took it in stride. We talked a little, he told me what happened and whey they were there, and they left. I am not saying that I haven't done the 50 foot dash down the hall, I have...

[Melanie Sykes]

One morning my 18 yo daughter came downstairs way earlier than I was expecting (she's not normally downstairs before lunch). I was wearing a nice striped top (with a bra underneath), jeans, and pink fluffy slippers with white flowery ladies socks and was in the kitchen about to make a coffee when she suddenly appeared, visible through the glass door and about to open it. There was nowhere to hide, so I just turned my back to her (to hide the socks and slippers), put the kettle on, looked out the window and said "good morning, how are you?" as casually as possible. She wasn't wearing her glasses, and didn't say anything about what I was wearing. I was really anxious for a couple of days in case she suddenly said something at a family meal time, but she never has. I think I got away with it but it really taught me a lesson. Now I don't bother dressing beyond under-dressing and low-key socks unless everyone's going to be out for at least three hours, which hasn't happened at all in the last 14 months.

[Tara.d.sometimes]

Being fortunate enough to have a spouse who is okay with my dressing, everything was smooth sailing until ..... my 26 year old step daughter moved back in! fortunately, she has to leave the house to go to work while both my wife and myself work from home. One day the step daughter called me because she needed information from my insurance card. I was working from home and dressed (one of the benefits of working from home) and had on a pair of nine west tall boots. Well, while I had her on the phone, I was walking to get the insurance card and crossed the tile kitchen floor. click click click went the heels of the boots :-). Later she texted her mom and asked if I was wearing heels or something because she heard them as I was walking to get the insurance card info. Thankfully, my wife covered for me and said she was walking behind me at the time. Thank goodness my wife and I wear very similar (woman's) clothes and show sizes - so my things in the closet don't appear out of normal.

one of many close calls over the years :-)

[BobbiKay]

In the Before Times my wife was a pet sitter. Some of the gigs were overnights. She surprised me a time or two by stopping back at our house between the evening feeding and the overnight. A quick dash down the hall to lose the skirt for a pair of jeans got the adrenaline flowing!

[darla_g]

Natalie's story is the one that left me a little stunned

[JenniferMBlack]

I've always wondered how a Jehovah's Witness or Mormon door to door person would react to me fully made up and masked answering the door.

I did get any reaction in the moment. But they have never returned to my home. I have had Jehkvahs witness the Mormons and a local church all come to my door. I have answered any where from wearing a skirt to fully done up and none return after. Not even the one I asked to come another time because I was getting ready to leave.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn :hugs:, Sooner or Later It will happen when you least expect it , >Orchid**o:daydreaming:o**

[CrossKimmy]

Close call again today. Wife says she'll be home at 11.30, so I make the most of it.

It gets to 10.45 and I just had a funny feeling about what I was wearing, how long to put things away etc.

I took everything off and put things away, and my wife walked through the door about 3 minutes after I had put my male clothes back on, and 35 minutes before she said she'd be back.


Oh my goodness now that?s intuition hon!


I?ve had a few where the doorbell rang and I?m running back and forth trying to get things put away etc.

[Maid_Marion]

Just got a unexpected visit from a member of my garden club. She instantly spotted that I was wearing a nice pair of open toe sandals and commented on how good my feet look.

Marion

[Sandi Beech]

A number of years ago I was at home by myself trying on some black lingerie when all of a sudden I heard the back door open and someone yell - I?m home. My son had gotten home from school a lot earlier than I expected so I jumped in the shower with clothes on. That was a really close call because I had to make it around a corner without being seen and it was really close. I was shaking in my boots on that one.

Sandi

[abby054]

Kathy Hamilton wrote a book containing a couple dozen of her stories of awkward situations. It is entitled, Oops, Adventures and Minor Mishaps of a Tgirl about town. It is a short, fun read.

[Liz Jones]

Hi,
The other night we had a zoom meeting on the Beaumont society. I got dressed up . After the meeting i had some recyclable rubbish to put in the bin . The bin was out on the front of our house ready for collection the next day. From our front door to the bin -- about 20Ft ,a look round -- all quite so off i set ,heels clicking. Half way to the bin i became aware our over the ( narrow ) road neighbour was looking in his car boot for something........ i carried on put the stuff in the bin then walked back into the house... ! So far nothing has been said about the Lady at our house putting rubbish in the bin in full evening dress & heels.............. :-)
Liz

[CallMeHeather]

Imagine my surprise upon learning that one of my condo neighbors, who has a livingroom-window view of both my front door and my car, is a colleague from work. (As in, not just someone who works at the same place, but is also on my team and we collaborate regularly.) I discovered this fact a week after moving in (before I'd had a chance to unpack any of my dresses).

At first this wasn't a problem, as this neighbor always kept their blinds shut- but one night I got careless and went outside with my wife, fully dressed- only to notice out the corner of my eye that not only were their blinds open, but someone was clearly standing in the livingroom at the time. I did NOT attempt to make eye contact, and just got into the car with my wife as normal. (I don't look like ME when dressed, but it's my car and I got in the driver's seat...) He has never mentioned it- I don't know if he ever saw or what he knows.

Another neighbor also caught me by surprise one evening. It's likely he clocked me, as we made eye-contact and I was coming out of my place with my wife. I do not care so much about this fellow knowing, since he's not a coworker!

The worst experience of being unexpectedly spotted was with a stranger, though. My wife and I were having a small number of friends over one night, and right when guests were supposed to be arriving, the doorbell rang. I do my normal thing of silently opening the door to let the guest in while hiding behind the door so no one sees me dressed- but no one came in. Then I heard an unknown voice say, "Hello???" and I instinctively peeked around the door to see some guy from the US Census standing there. I was caught so flat-footed that I didn't even think about the fact that I was now standing in my doorway fully dressed, potentially in full view of my next-door neighbors, including my colleague. Then the Census guy starts asking me a bunch of questions about the people in the condo adjacent to ours, whom we barely know anyway (they are only there a few weeks out of the year). I told the guy I didn't know my neighbors, and he was still trying to pry info about them from me as I shut the door. Again- not really sure who saw me that time, but I was rattled.

[Ashlee]

I've had a few close calls in that I've just gotten my stuff off and makeup washed off when the wife got home, one time I had on wifes panties and my daughter caught a glimpse of the blue material when i made a run for the bedroom and said something but I said that I had blue underwear on, I put the panties back in the hamper a few minutes later but the worst.....

One time, in winter, i stupidly dressed head to toe and from the skin out in female clothing and decided to go for a walk during the day. The immediate vicinity of neighbors were all gone. My next door hairdresser neighbor usually had monday off but was gone (red flag ignored). I got completely dressed, did my makeup, put on wife's boots, jeans, jacket and started to walk. I noped out of walking around the circle so I walked back....when....it happened..

As I approached my driveway my hairdresser neighbor coming from the opposite direction in her car approached hers. If i or her were 30 seconds off we'd have never seen one another but I panicked. I could've turned around or kept walking straight toward her but no. I entered my driveway, the front door to use was out of the question and with her not 50? feet away easily her. Come to find out her son was in her car too seeing me. I bolted for the backdoor and got in, peeked through the blinds and saw her looking out her car window at my yard..where "she" was. My heart was pounding! I immediately undressed, washed off the makeup and dressed. I then figured I'd do damage assessment and walked out to get the mail. She was still outside watching and I calmly said "hey how's it going?" To which she replied..."I just saw a woman run up your driveway and she's now gone!" I then, with my mind racing started to say things like "huh, that's weird I didn't see anything"...I then walked into my backyard w/her following and said like "maybe she cut through the woods to the other street, no big deal". To which she.....calls the police! She stays outside, I go inside to rapidly put everything away, change into street clothes to leave and then open my door to leave and find cops in my yard, searching, her speaking to one and cruisers patrolling! I managed to downplay things w/the police and say she must've doubled back through the other yard and got picked up, maybe she was part of the company nearby that always has employees walking around". I then asked her "what did she look like?" "what did she wear"? "I'll cruise the neighborhood"..

Later when her husband came home he was across the street talking to the other neighbor and through his hand motions i could tell that he was telling about the "woman" that went through my yard and probably cut through to the other street somehow. I was a wreck for weeks afterwards. I never heard a peep from this, I made sure I stayed "manly" around them (unshaven face, get dirty etc) and the one small thing I casually mentioned when I did say something about it I remarked that I found footprints in the snow at my snowmobile trailer and a yellow stain in the snow so that "woman" must've ran. This must be going on....8? years ago now. I've not heard anything about it at all.