The difference shoes can make.

[Geena75]

I've referred several times to my struggles with finding a good pair of shoes. First issue: size. My feet are men's size 11 wide, combined with low (if any) arches. I might fit a women's 12, but more likely a 13. Second: While I'm comfortably closeted, it still rules out having anything arriving by mail (any package coming to me is a great source of curiosity in my household). Third: Budget -- I have little discretionary funds available. A $20 investment isn't readily done. Fourth: I have only one resale shop in my usual travels, not much in my size. My collection of shoes ranged of either not fitting well, or not looking or feeling the way I want.

That said, last week I found time and funds to stop at the local shop on the chance they might have something. I first spotted a pair of gray heels size 13, but I seriously think 4 inch stiletto heels at my stage would be asking for ankle injury. Then I found a pair of wedges, 3 inch or so, in size 12 with a strap in back. They fit more comfortably than anything I have.

The point I'm slowly getting to is this: I got to dress today (pictures coming in another day or two) and it felt amazing. I didn't have to concentrate on how I walked, it just happened. I felt so much more feminine than I had the last couple times. I even took some video and noticed a marked improvement of my movement, carriage, etc. I had done a reasonable job of make-up, but it all felt so good. I am even imagining a means of getting out and about. All from a pair of second hand shoes.

Just felt so good I wanted to share.

Geena

[docrobbysherry]

That sounds great, Geena! :thumbsup:

However, I don't consider anything under 4" to be hi heels. And, encourage u to keep a look out for 4"+ block heeled shoes. In my experience size 12+ women's shoes may stay on the shelf a long time. And, if u like the way 3"heels make u walk? Wait'll u try real hi heels!:heehee:

[alwayshave]

Geena, That's great that you found shoes that comfortable fit. I understand the struggle. I wear a women's 13W.

[Pumped]

It is funny how different styles and brands fit so much differently. I have pretty much nothing but four inch or higher heels. Some of the four inch are miserable to wear for much time, some I can wear all day. My findings are the better quality of shoe generally feels better, although I do find and odd one either way once in a while. I have bough $100+ plus heels that are terrible, and $10 eBay, odd branded heels that fit great, but on the average well known brands fit best, leather uppers are the best.

If you are just starting in heels a 3" heel is plenty. After you put on some miles and the 3" is comfortable, then it is time to move up to 4".

[Bobbi46]

I could not agree more! yes shoes are "the" must for me i have great difficulty finding some for my 12 (UK) wide fit ,feet. add to that the fact I am 6' 6" tall, doors then get in the way !!!

[Liz Jones]

Hi,
For me its size 9 --- EEEEE ! this is due to a large bunion. So while size 9 is not too hard to find EEEEE is. I buy size 9 EEE & using a ( male ) shoe shaper enlarge the shoe ( plastic ) by holding it over a heat source to stretch it.

[Stephanie47]

Depending on brand and style it's either 12W or a 13. In-home I wear a 3 1/2 to 4 inch heel. When I go for an evening drive which always ends with a stroll in a safe residential neighborhood it is a wedge with a noise deadening sole. I tried walking with a heel of 3 1/2 inches. The results? First, the feet hurt after some distance. Second, the concrete sidewalks were hard on the shoes. I can wear a 3 1/2 to 4 inch heel in-home all day without any effort. Another consideration is walking in grass. A pointy heels will tend to sink into soft grass. Walk on sand; forget the heels. As to price; I like Payless. For what I needed, Payless prices were great.

[Geena75]

I'm surprised that 4 inch heels seem to be the norm. Between the spouse and 4 daughters, there hasn't been a pair of heels anywhere near that -- 2 inch max.

My first fitting shoes were strappy sandal type with 2 inch block heels. Fit a little tight, but fit. Suddenly dressing became real for me -- feeling feminine. If I was on a self imposed hiatus (purged) and was thinking of dressing again, I would make shoes a prerequisite, and invariably found a pair. Even when I purged, the shoes were not a great loss because they were either broken, hurt my feet, or looked poor.

[JulieC]

I'm fortunate that I have Kate Winslet size feet; 11 (US). It's not uncommon to find size 11 heels in various stores. DSW often carries such sizes, and they usually end up in discount because so few women fit them. Yay for me!

My wife and I are financially comfortable, but there's many demands on our money too. There's times when it's certainly going out a lot faster than it's coming in. With kids still at home, it can get expensive rapidly. One kid joined a new sport, and a few days later I was $450 poorer. Uhg! So then when it comes to wanting to buy a dress, skirt, heels...I tell myself "This is not a need, just a want. Take care of the needs first!' and I end up not buying it. Grrr.

Pumped; I really agree with you about the quality of a shoe making a difference. It's not universal, but on average I would agree. I tried on a pair of 3" heels at some store; maybe Target or Payless (been too long). Sitting down, they fit great. As soon as I took a couple of steps...PAIN. Off they went. But, put on a pair of Bandolino heels or some other higher end brand, and they usually feel pretty good. Thrift stores are a godsend. Once in a while there's some killer heels in the right size at a ridiculous price.

I agree shoes make all the difference in how I feel about my femme self, how I walk, how I carry myself. It's transformational. Without heels, I feel like I'm just clodding along. Put on heels, and zing it's all amped up! It makes me feel great.

Geena, you mention about movement and carriage; you might find this Bio Motion Lab page rather fascinating. It's a stick figure that is walking. There are slider bars that you can control several things including gender. Activate the lines, and then move the slider bar left/right male/female. You can also rotate the stick figure too, and then slide the gender bar as well. It's very illuminating! I've never tried to pass, but taking onboard the lessons this little tool taught me makes me feel more feminine. Here's the link:
https://www.biomotionlab.ca/html5-bml-walker/

[Cheshire girl]

Try Trotters from Amazon and if it?s possible for you Click and Collect if delivery to home isn?t acceptable. Naturalizer also excellent.

[BrendaPDX]

Geena, You are right, the right shoes make a world of difference, not in just how you look but how you walk and feel. My worst pair of shoes are 3.5" stiletto strappy sandals that were a full size too big! Ugh! Ouch!! But they looked great:battingeyelashes: My favorite are a secondhand pair that are 3" or there about, and I love them, I can walk in them for a mile and not even really think about my feet. And you are right about how they can make you walk prettier. I seem to learn everything the hard way, I still can't go down stairs without a hand rail! LOL!!

[Daphne1363]

has anyone found that they need different sizes for pointed heels vs rounded toe?

[melissalynn]

If your feet aren't comfy, then it's hard for the rest of you to be comfortable I think. I wear a size 12W in women's and, given the demise of a certain retailer, have found myself buying better shoes. I just bought my first pair of sandals -Clark's- that were on sale online and tried them out yesterday. 21/2" cork wedge. They were so comfortable that I wish I could wear them all the time.

Even my wife liked them though she teased she had a pair like them in the '70's.

[Michelle55]

My wife never wears any heels, but she wanted to try wearing some at her daughter's wedding.

I was with her when she was looking at the shoes and she wanted to be sure I would be able to wear them later so they wouldn't go to waste.

My wife and I are within 1/2 size for most shoes even though she is 5' 3" and I'm 5' 11" +.

A nice benefit is the boots near the door for going out in the wet grass in the morning fit both of us.

[Jamie1980]

Of everything I have, I have no shoes. So all of my pictures are with stocking feet. I need shoes.

[Pumped]

has anyone found that they need different sizes for pointed heels vs rounded toe?

I have pointed, round and almond shaped toes and all my heels are size 10. Now granted some fit tight, some are lose, but I can't say it is because of the style of the toe and more so just the brand runs small or large.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Get a known brand 40 bucks and up. Adjustable straps help too especially behind the heel. I discovered that the engineering of the shoe is a very BIG factor-----like in WHERE the heel is as in directly UNDER your own heel to direct your weight straight into the floor of behind or somewhat foreword. The first pair I ever bought, I could not even stand in, much less walk---AND I STILL cant. but my next pair 4 inch closed toe slingbacks, worked perfectly. I could walk almost normally and they felt "natural". Those two experiences, early on showed me that some heels are engineered properly and some are not.---And it make a big difference. I am a male size 10 1/2 to 11 and a 13 to 13 1/2 fits great.

[Leslie Langford]

I'm in the process of clearing out (purging?) an outside storage unit where I had accumulated over 30 year's worth of women's clothes, shoes, and assorted accessories as I moved forward in my gender journey. Yes, I am a bit of a hoarder and have a hard time letting go of prized "treasures" to which I have an emotional attachment, but the time has come to bite the bullet ("end of life" considerations, I'm going to be 73 this year, and I'm starting to see the Grim Reaper gaining on me as I look into the rear-view mirror.)

Part of this process has become a bit of an archeological dig, and more specifically, a personal object lesson in how both my fashion sense and the corresponding fashion trends have evolved over the decades, That also included an increased awareness of how the quality of the shoes and clothing have generally declined as more and more manufacturing was out-sourced to low wage Third World countries in the Far East.

The topic of well-fitting, well-made, and comfortable shoes has come up in this thread, and it had already struck me as I was doing my clearing out that most of my heels dating back to the 1990's were made in either in Italy, Spain, or Brazil where craftsmanship still counted for something. These shoes still fit exquisitely and are invariably made of soft leather that is very forgiving, thereby rendering them as easily wearable for hours on end. This is in sharp contrast to the current crop of low-cost "Made in China" or "Made in Vietnam" shoes that fill up today's store shelves, are ill-fitting, and often appear to be constructed from cardboard with only a thin veneer of man-made materials covering the exterior.

[Leslie Mary S]

I am slowly switching from man-made to leather because leather is self adapting. I also stretch my man-made heels using a wooden shoe trees and heat. They also make special high heel shoe trees that allow the flex in the shoe toe area. I also notice that my heels are looser as I lose weight.

[Michaela Jane]

add to that the fact I am 6' 6" tall, doors then get in the way !!!

It's a bigger problem with ceiling fans over 'ere Bobbi! :D

[Maid_Marion]

Hi Geena,

Yes, wedges are great for a practical high heel that can be worn all day. Even better if they are adjustable or made out of leather.

I'll go shopping in a comfortable pair of heels.

Marion