Anybody mourn their lost youth?

[CharlotteCD]

I've had a feeling of sadness recently, and my counselling helped my pinpoint some of it.

I regret not saying something sooner, and I regret that I didn't grow up as a female. I miss the youth I could have had, the experiences I could have had, the clothes I could have worn, the teenage years of fun and excitement, the 20's where you start to figure things out.

Equally I didn't have a male 19-24 either because I was hospitalised and socially isolated for the majority of that time. I miss what I could have experienced there.

For sure, it wouldn't have been all good times and great experiences - I was bullied anyway, so I would definitely have been bullied for being trans, but I miss it anyway.

It's gone now. I'll never be a woman in their 20's.

Anybody else go through this feeling of loss?

[Stephanie47]

Nope! Not a chance! For a woman, life is more than pretty clothes. In my twenties I would have been expected to be servient to a man. Of course, my twenties started in 1967. Then, if you were a woman you were expected to knock out babies and cook dinner, etc. Frankly, if I was a woman I'd opt for now and be in my 30's and early 40's.

[Karren H]

Nope also... 19-24 was my college years and I had a total blast. And still graduated. Then got married.... moved to the Appalachian Mts and went to work in the coal mines. Does not get any better than that? Lol. By the time I was 30 got back north of the Mason-Dixon Line so everything was good... still is.

[Sidney]

Nope here also. Didn't know about Sidney back then. I've had a good life with few regrets.

[ShelbyDawn]

Only to the extent that I catch myself looking at really cute outfits on line only to realize that it's the Aeropostale site and all those cute dresses' are on girls about fifteen meaning that there's no way in HE(Karen, can I borrow a couple of hockey sticks?) that they would ever look good on my 40(in hex) year old body.

I do think that if I were 20 today, I'd give a lot more consideration to transitioning.

[JulieC]

I am sad from time to time about not being a teenage or 20 something woman. I occasionally run into something that I'd love to wear, but would look completely inappropriate on a woman in her 50s...yet completely appropriate for a 20 year old woman. I'm drawn to such clothes sometimes as sort of a "missed youth", as it were.

[Claire M]

I actually do miss it... somewhat. In the later 1960s there was no Internet or much information about crossdressing, gender or sex for that matter readily available to a 13 year old kid in a strict Catholic environment. So every high of joy I felt slipping into my sister's clothes was usually overshadowed by a mountain of guilt and shame. I was pretty sure i was the only boy wearing girls clothes and was destined for a lonely life of daily casual sex encounters in public bathrooms with other men dressed in leather (according to "Everything you Wanted to Know About Sex*, But Were Afraid to Ask)

So if I could do it over with what I know now I might have enjoyed it more. Plus when I was 15 ... even when I was 30 I had great hair which i would have let grow and with my fair, slightly feminine facial features I would do a lot more dressing, a lot more fem time, and a lot less purging.

[kimdl93]

Funny, I was just texting back and forth with a GG friend about emerging as transgender in later life. I have so many things to be grateful for in life, so I would never mourn the life that made those things possible. At the same time, I admit that looking back Life might have been better for my family and myself if if the cycle of repression, denial and depression had not discolored my perspectives over the years. Honestly, I wasn’t a terrible person, but if I had one wish, I would use it to be a better person. Alas, there are no do-overs.

Same kinda applies to physiology. What I really miss is younger skin, tight muscles and greater stamina. I am doing ok for someone of my age, but the last decade has been tough on my skin, especially along the neck, jawline, hands and upper arms.

[Sandi Beech]

I wish I could be back in my twenties but not because I missed out back then. Like Stephanie said things were different way back. If I had the ability to do what I can do now back when I was 20, I am not sure how my life would have turned out. It is an interesting thing to ponder.

Sandi

[HeatherW]

Yes I do. My regret, however, only goes back to my 30s. I wish I would have come out earlier to my wife. Granted, it may not be that she would've been as accepting then. I spent a good number of years hiding myself from her. I sometimes feel guilty for not trusting her, my wife and life partner, more. We will never know, now, how that discussion would've gone or what lifestyle changes it would've brought about. I regret not giving us those opportunities. This is life, and Doc Brown is a fictional character. All I can do is make the most of the time we have together and love her as she loves me.

[RADER]

Younger Yes, But you can not turn back the clock. At 74, I wished that I had more mobility, Would love to travel more.
But I have Agent Orange, and can hardly walk. So Younger O' Yes, But those days are gone.

[Natalie5004]

My biggest wish is that in my 20's I did not get married.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Charlotte :hugs:, I had a wonderful childhood growing up and I had a wonderful life with my:love:Wife
of 57 Years, at 78 I am enjoying my Senior years now, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Maid_Marion]

Not at all. I didn't pass as an adult in my 20s. And society had issues with me being a little bit different back then.

Now I have the confidence that comes with wealth of life experiences. And I look like I'm in my late 30s, as I've taken really good care of myself and not damaged my skin with excessive sun exposure.
And some lucky genetics, as my hair looks a lot more like my mom's hair than my dad's.

I've gained twenty pounds while still maintaining a thin waistline, so I now have an hourglass figure. :)

Marion

[JuliannaS]

I definitely miss my late teens early 20s. I was often mistaken for a girl. I wore girls jeans, some girls tops (mostly t shirt and tank tops, girls brackets and earrings. I always thought of myself as a girl back then. I think if people were as accepting then as they are now I may have done things differently.

[TheHiddenMe]

Why mourn what never happened? It's pointless.

There is no set age like 20 when something magically happens.

Yes, I wish I would have pursued my desires to go out crossdressed earlier in life. I realize now that virtually all of my fears were imaginary. But my only choice is to change my behavior going forward, not bemoaning my past.

Mourning an imaginary past is self-destructive. It does nothing to get you where you want to be.

[SaraLin]

My youth was not a pleasant time for me, so no - I'm not mourning its loss.

It would be nice to have the skinny body I had back then. It would be more suited to a female wardrobe than the body I've got now.

Looking back, could I have done things differently? If I'm honest, the answer would probably be "no" when it comes to dressing - but it would have been nice to know that I'd make it though and still be more or less OK.

[Gi Gondin]

Charlotte, I believe that all of us from time to time think about our past and what could have been done differently. We must consider that this reflection is done with by a wiser, more experienced person. Given a second chance with the same knowledge we had, we would probably act the same? that?s who we are.

?The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk.?

Be gentle to your past self. Try to take good lessons from your life and apply them in your next decisions.

Sincerely hope you feel better!

[erickka]

Only in a physical sense. The golden years aren't so golden with two bad knees and lots of arthritis. The 20's were certainly a lot more pain free.

[Connie D50]

Yes all the time I would do things so different

[Geena75]

It would be interesting to be in my 20's NOW. There are a lot of things I could pull off (growing my hair long, alternating being clean shaven, staying in shape, etc,) that are difficult or impossible at my age. I did what worked in the world I lived in then, which isn't the world today. I can look back with regret and guilt at my past, but it is meaningless compared to how I feel about myself in the now. I have accepted who I am in the now and those missed opportunities or mistakes of my past (some pretty bad) are part of who I am now. I can't rewrite or change my past, but I can use that knowledge and experience to develop my future. It doesn't mean I can't dream of what might have been, but like the old saying "If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep."

[GretchenM]

Charlotte, sounds like you had it quite a bit rougher than most of us. And I can relate to what you are saying. But I don't actually have regrets; it is just that the reality back in my preteen years was not even close to what I wanted. I was a very confused kid, was very reclusive in many ways. Still am in some ways. I was so different from the other kids yet I managed to "fit in" enough that nobody really saw the torment inside me. I got very good at hiding the girl in me (that was in the 50's).

The loss of your 19-24 years is very significant. That is a critical development time that defines so much of who we become as an adult. I was in university and I did well, but there was always this feeling of "This really isn't what I want!" Intellectually it was not very difficult, but emotionally it was a disaster.

Now, entering my late 70's, those years are just viewed as "whatever; we can always change course." Looking back, on the whole, it has been a good life and you can't undo what was done 50 or 60 years ago. 'Eyes forward, don't look back, be more your dream now because you don't have much time left. Enjoy it.' It is my perspective now and since I came to grips with the life long gender issues 9 years ago and understand I am a blend and a good deal about how that probably happens life is much better.

[Paula_56]

Wow!

I am surprised that many have no regrets and don't mourn the loss of their youth.

I envy the choices young transgender persons have today.

When I was their age the term transgender had not entered the lexicon and people were arrested for being Gay or wearing women's clothes.

People who transitioned were rare and fodder for tabloids

I regret not having the courage to transition.

I've always wanted to be a women, a wife, a mother.

I would have relished the opportunity even with all the foibles and misogyny.

Gosh if I had it do to over again!

[LydiaL]

I do not mourn lost youth.

Before internet and not living in a highly populated area, my earlier explorations enfemme were entirely solo. Many of my generation that did explore alternate opportunities and lifestyles succumbed to AIDS. So no reason to be sad that I avoided that fate.

OK, will admit to one regret. That many of the skirts and dresses in my closet now only fit my former skinnier self.

[Jennifer in CO]

do I mourn it?...no. Do I sometimes miss it?...oh heck yeah. Between 19 and 24 were interesting years. Graduated college, got married, transitioned at the request of my wife, you know...normal things...

[josie_S]

I totally do Charlotte, though I'm not sure I would say I mourn it. I think you really got robbed by being hospitalized during those same years so mourning is appropriate. I just wish I wasn't so hung up back then on what others might think--I wish I would have just enjoyed my life guilt-free. I also wish I still had that body! but I don't mourn it. Maybe you are just now catching up to mourning what you lost? Grief is weird...and you look great now!

[Leslie Langford]

As that great philosopher and baseball legend Yogi Berra once put it "Youth is wasted on the young". Kind of goes along with his other sage observation that "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be".

To a large extent, I agree with that assessment, and I do have some regrets about doing (or not doing) certain things that in hindsight, I would have done differently. But that is one of the benefits of age and the wisdom gained from life experiences - both good and bad.

Do I miss my youth? Yes, of course. Would I trade it for what "life" has taught me and how it has shaped me into being the person who I am today? Not a chance...

[BTWimRobin]

I try not to dwell on the past. When I do I always get stuck at 17, an age where I made several decisions which altered the course of my life. While I have no regrets, I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I were 17 again with the knowledge, insight, and wisdom I have now. Would I make different decisions? Who knows?

[CarlaWestin]

I've had thoughts about what if and I've given it a lot of thought. I do honestly believe that life is easier as a male. Maybe that's just my male brain talking but unless I could do a pre-birth gender switch
I prefer to be a male gender explorer.

[MonicaPVD]

When I left home for college, I considered transitioning. Briefly. That was a long time ago, a very different time, and my family was extremely conservative. The only trans people I had ever seen were hairdressers and prostitutes with broken family ties, and that didn't seem very appealing to me. I often wonder what life would have been like for me had I gone down that road. Very often.

[DianeT]

I have often wondered what being a woman instead of a man could have been like, and always decided that putting up with male crap and childish behaviors would have been too much for me to bear and I would probably have transitioned FTM or been a lesbian to avoid that. I often pity my wife for having to put up with me and sometimes wonder why she sticks with me, but am glad she does and to have been born a male.
In my teen years and twenties I wrote a lot of short stories. One was about a guy being transmuted to a woman as a second chance after being brutally killed. The woman in question immediately seeked a female SO not a male. I can't decide if choosing that path for the character was a consequence of my heterosexuality or of my recurring consternation with the behavior and immaturity of some of my male friends of the time, especially the kind who loved to be in clans or to prove one dumb way after another that they actually were men.

[April Rose]

Lost youth, hell; I'm scratching my head wondering where late middle age went to.....

Seriously, though, Charlotte, you being hospitalized for so long at so young an age was a real tragedy. That is the time when many young people have the experiences that lay the foundation of their adult lives. It is reasonable that you should mourn it.

Just don't spend too much of your energy on it. The memories that will comfort you later on are born in the here and now. What you do in the present, right now, matters.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Since started transitioning? Absolutely, at various levels all the time. Agree with the idea that I wouldn’t want to give up what I’ve gotten over the years as a man but otherwise mourn lost youth, 20s, 30s, 40s and most of the 50s.

[Maria_mtf]

100% see where you are coming from and I agree. I am only 33 but already feel like I have lost so much time where I could have presented more as my true self. Problem is I am still wasting time in the closet even now!

[MonicaPVD]

Maria, get busy living. Now. You are so very young. A full decade younger than I am and probably up to three or four decades of our friends on here. Go for it.


100% see where you are coming from and I agree. I am only 33 but already feel like I have lost so much time where I could have presented more as my true self. Problem is I am still wasting time in the closet even now!

[Cheryl T]

The grass is always greener ...

Sure I would love to have had all the support and resources when I was 18 that the girls have now. I'm certain that had that been the case my life would surely have taken a different path. Unfortunately we can't turn back time.
I would have relished not having to suffer all the shame and guilt as well as the fear of discovery and the pressure to be "like other boys". But dwelling on what might have been doesn't help me now. I focus on what can be yet.

[docrobbysherry]

I began dressing in my 50's, Charlotte. So, I missed dressing in my actual 20's by quite a bit.:sad:

But now, 25 years later, I'm still enjoying Sherry's 20's! Why, because I CAN!:devil:

You're as old as u feel and it's your life. U can make it be whatever u want!:thumbsup:
321472

[mbmeen12]

Anybody else go through this feeling of loss?

No because I was working and working more working...At that early age it was engrained in me but now game on!

[JennyMay]

One of my favourite films is ‘About Time’. It is a gentle comedy in which the main protagonist can go back in time and change things making them better. One problem that emerges is that changing one thing has knock on effects which changes other things. There is lots in the past that I wish I could change (mostly about my own behaviour) but there is so much about my life as it is that is good and valuable (especially my grandchildren) that I don’t think I’d want to risk changing the past if I could. Life has been a horrible struggle with abuse, depression and anxiety but in the end it brought me to where I am now, and where I am now is good.

[CharlotteCD]

I've hit the point in About Time where the father could no longer go back because he found out he had cancer from smoking after he'd had children, and didn't want to give up having them to save himself.

I couldn't go back now because who's to say I'd recover from cancer if I had been on hormones etc. If I went back I'd no longer have my child etc.


I think I'm feeling somewhat better about it all now.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

I love About Time and think about that scenario all the time.

Similarly think about the story in Arrival and how that applies as well.

[JulieC]

Yeah, if my mom hadn't gotten cancer when I was 9, my children as they are now would not exist today. My mom survived, though she wasn't expected to. Life is dominoes; there's bad and good dominoes, but they all contribute to the overall outcome.

[Felicia M]

Absolutely. With a couple of major caveats.
1. I wish I knew when I was in my teens and twenties what I know now. I probably would have transitioned.
2. The level of acceptance and support was what it is today. In my youth and in the location I grew up in there was literally no acceptance or support at the time.

Emerging as transgender later in life at least for me has been problematic and painful. I have reached a level of total acceptance but no matter what I mourn the loss of what such an opportunity may have yielded.
Thx for the thread Charlotte.

[CynthiaD]

No, I don’t miss my lost youth. Being broke all the time, struggling to make a name for myself, being passed over for promotion in favor of someone who didn’t know one tenth what I knew about the job because I was just the young punk. No.

I sometimes wish I’d transitioned back in my 20s, but realistically, trans people were less than nothing back then. To say nothing of how women were treated (early 1970's). Ignoring my true gender and trying to play the cards I was dealt was my best option at the time.

But if I could be 20 years old again in 2021, knowing what I know now, …

[AllieSF]

No! But in your case, celebrate where you are now and where you are going into the future. The truth to yourself will set you freeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Hugs,

Allie

[Adelina]

I do really wish I let myself out earlier, especially in university when it may have been realistic to be a girl most of the time. That?s life though.

[candykowal]

My past had so many downs and a few up, mostly dependent on a helicopter Mom, worried I would get beat up and back in the hospital.
It wasn't until I was in college that I felt free and comfortable being Candice. I would like to go back and live that lifestyle again though I know I hated studying. College for me was too much fun. I got my associates degree and got out...wish I had enough money to transition then, I might be married with a couple of adopted kids who see me as a loving mother.

[Kathy Leigh]

I just wish we had websites like this when I was younger instead of being totally isolated with being able to talk to other CD's.

If we only had access to women's clothes like we have on line now back when I was young it would have made things much easier.

I am just happy now to have a forum where we can talk to each other and show ourselves to our peers in safety and comfort.

Hugs,


Kathy

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Charlotte, I can only apologize because anything I say must be virtually irrelevant to your own situation. Since I'm not gender dysphoric, I have no cause to regret the lack of opportunity to be a young woman, However, I do hear what you're saying, and I've heard it remarked before, that transgendered people (male to female) "never had a girlhood," which must be a "missing piece" in anyone's life and development. At least today some (not all) are granted a better opportunity to have something closer to a "girlhood." So yes, I can see how "being born at the wrong time" is a source of regret.

But then the vast majority of humans were "born at the wrong time" in history anyway, living hard and difficult lives compared with ours--with millions condemned to manual labor for survival and little opportunity to do anything more creative, or for what Abraham Maslow called "self-actualization." So I've got no complaints about our unfairly maligned "Western society," the best in the world for crossdressers among many others. Our own society has "progressed," due to our accumulation of knowledge and technology, resulting economic advances, and the social improvements these permitted.

With the unprecedented speed of advancement in modern times it's been normal for older people to envy the young for what the older generation never had. This isn't just about crossdressing. It's about the kind of people in my own youth saying things like "You kids are so lucky today! When I was your age"--oh, those famous phrases!--"we had to walk twelve miles to school every day, barefoot in frozen weather and ragged clothes and never got enough to eat" and all the rest of it. So much of this envy is normal in fast-changing times. It's just different issues for different generations.

Speaking purely for myself, I have no regrets for any "lost youth." I would love to be younger again, better looking, and regain my vision loss due to glaucoma, not to mention a little bit of tinnitus--just "white noise" that I hardly notice--but those are all normal risks of aging that we all go through. If I were young in today's world, could I have done anything different and more enjoyably? Not much that I can think of. As a plain crossdresser, I was plagued with embarrassment and the need to "keep my secret" during my teen years. Yet that was only part of my life, and had I been encouraged by the example of others to go out in public dressed as a girl, I believe I would only have taken limited advantage of it anyway.

I had fun in my youth, but I also suffered from the normal "teenage angst," not just about crossdressing but all the "usual" things as well: social anxiety, being a nerd instead of a jock, not being the greatest of stars in the eyes of most girls who attracted me, and all of that stuff. Due to various circumstances, I later came to refer to the times between my ninth and twenty-eight year as "my nineteen winters of discontent." These are obvious allusions both to Shakespeare's Richard the Third and to the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle's verdict on the shortish reign of the luckless King Stephen.

Yet "The Sun Also Rises," as Hemingway observed, and Shakespeare went on to say "Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this Sun..." That's how it was for me. and I think only growing personal maturity could have made that happen.

My life changed for the better as my twenties progressed, when I made advantageous career moves, when I matured and began to accept my crossdressing, and when I got married to my beloved, accepting wife. My youth was as good as any, but my later life was better. I don't believe anything about "living in different times" would have changed any of this. I read somewhere that a survey found that men on average considered themselves happiest at the age of thirty-three, and this was true enough for me. So who needs those troubled days of "youth"? Many of them were fun, but as for the rest, you can keep it! The years afterward were better.

In fact I'm glad to have been born in the times that I was. Though more problematic for anyone struggling with gender dysphoria, they were happier and freer times in many ways, with children for instance being more at liberty to roam and explore the environment around them at their own will, and without many of the increasing restrictions, neurotic fears (despite the "Cold War") and exaggerated, smothering fussiness that oppress us today (which "Liberty Lori" naturally despises). Gee, people in the past had real things to deal with, like two World Wars and a Great Depression in between! I think many of us older folks born later had more worry-free fun, without being bombarded with so many of the world's woes. For one thing, an older woman friend of mine remarked that "you didn't have to worry about getting a job" in our days. And many other issues besides, such as far less fear of crime, more local community spirit, more stability, less coldhearted anonymity, more warm, natural "organic" human interactions, and others too numerous to name. So even if we never had cellphones and the Internet, and I always had to crossdress in secret, you won't catch me grousing about "walking barefoot to school" without so much as a video game to play afterwards. No time in history was ever perfect, but some have been better than others. and I'm glad to have been born when I was. So no regrets for any "lost youth" here.

If times are better for anyone struggling with gender issues today, then as Rafiki said in The Lion King, don't worry yourself over a past that can't be changed, and certainly never could have been by anything you could possibly have done differently yourself, in the circumstances. Just look to what you're free to do in the present and the future, and good luck to you!

[alwayshave]

I turned 60 recently, so I have been considering my life. There are somethings I wish I had done differently, an ex-wife I wish I had never married, etc.. My dressing is not something I could do anything about. When I dream of myself as female, its at my current age, so I don't look back in that regard.

[lingerieLiz]

My. wife pointed out that being a girl isn't just about wearing clothes.

[steffigirl37]

I am in my mid 60's. Like most I do wish in my 20's there was more acceptance and counseling. Shopping or acquiring clothes was never easy. And, of course, internet access, which opened a whole new world. But I do cherish some wonderful cross dressing experiences that I had by myself and with some girlfriends that I could never regret or forget.

[Sallee]

Of course especially when it comes to cding. I am so much more comfortable now than I was then Scared to step out and too much angst when trying to by something. I looked so much better then to. Of course so social media wasn't around then so trying to meet anyone was difficult. Not that it is easy now.
I don't fret about it though have fun now because you never know when it is going to end. HAVE FUN

[fun4metoo2004]

I don't mourn my lost youth. I have regrets for not doing more with my cross dressing until later in life, however as a caveat, I spent 20 years in the U.S. Navy that kind of put a crimp in that as well. Being married to an unsupportive wife that would never have understood, and as it was spent the entire marriage sleeping with other people did not help the self confidence.

So, no. I am good.

[Barbara Jo]

Hind sight is always 20-20 but, there is an old adage...

"They who live in the past deny themselves the future" .

So, the best we can do is learn by our mistakes and have the sense not to dwell on things we can not change.

[robyn rose]

Interesting topic, I was very wayward in my early to mid teens but as odd as it might seem to this day I remember vividly dressing up in my mothers and aunt's (Who lived with us) clothes whenever the chance arose. That was a loooong time ago now but my love for feminine clothing is as strong now as it was back then. Not so much lost youth but some very happy memories from those times.

[suzanne]

Yes and no. Part of me wants to have been a woman while in my twenties. But so many things were different back then (in the 1980's) I just wasn't ready for that. Earlier than that, I had been taught, by example, to despise any one who was non binary (back then there was only one three letter F word to cover all the possibilities), so when I discovered my mom's wardrobe, I was aghast and afraid and I couldn't accept that part of myself until at least my late 30's.

[Bea_]

There's really nothing in my youth to mourn. There are some not-great memories, but it's all part of my life. I married the woman of my dreams at 18 and had two amazing kids. Now, I've got some amazing grandchildren. I never wanted to be a girl and don't particularly want to be a typical guy. I found out I liked and could wear lots of items from the woman's section of the store in my mid-fifties and it's been nice to spend much of my recent life in femme or androgynous mode. I keep it private to avoid drama, but most of my time at home is spent indulging in my preferred wardrobe while being indulged by that woman of my dreams.

[TamT]

I'm in my 50s, but I feel like I'm in my 40s, so that's the goal... Well, I still have clothes from 25 years ago, and sometimes I wear them just for the fun of it.

[laurie103]

I lived alone in Los Angeles for a few years when I was in my mid-twenties. This was almost two decades ago. I was afraid of what I am, and I would only put on a bra or panties when I was really drunk. I wish I could do back then and know what I know now. That's it's fine, that no one cares. I'd kill to shave my legs and go out to a West Hollywood bar and hang out with people who don't judge. That's definitely something I regret.

Also --- just to have Amazon Prime as a crossdresser -- my god!

[Emma500]

Sometimes, but I also remember how difficult it was (for me) to obtain womens' clothes back in the 80s/90s. Now!! I am so glad I live in a time when I can buy whatever clothes I want at the click of a mouse, and then get to try them on within 24 hours!

[sometimes_miss]

Having grown up abused by family, and then molested by an outsider, I stopped reminiscing or focusing on my past life long ago. We can't change the past, and really have to stop wondering 'what if'. I've managed to stay sane (well, at least I think I'm sane) by always looking forward to the future, not focusing on the past.
Tomorrow will be different. Maybe better, maybe worse, but different, and I can hopefully make it for 'better'.

[Emptyeyes]

Well, considering that I still am in my late 30s of youth, but I'll travel back and bite on this very subject. Puberty was an awkward time for me, yet didn't come with meeting it half way as being trans, because I've developed breasts, and hips. As for the passable case, sometimes I did get confused looks or mocked by class members of having obvious female characteristics, but they knew who I was born as at the end. Though, it would be nice to keep my youthful look for another 10 years, before transcending to possible more important matters for me.