Fetish

[JaneAshland]

Does anyone dress JUST due to a sexual fetish for women's clothing?

[CarlaWestin]

No. Absolutely no one.
At least nobody I know.
You?

[Karren H]

Not me either. I dress because I have to. Once dressed I may have other kinky things going on that may be more fetishy....

[Helen_Highwater]

From reading here over many years I'd say that a good few would admit that in their early days that a certain level of arousal might be experienced but that was effect not cause.

For most that element of it dies away over time.

Personally I've never looked upon my dressing as being a fetish.

[Gi Gondin]

I have to admit that for me CD is highly related to sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I would not call it a fetish because, at least officially, fetish is associated with objects and body parts. As CD involves much more and nowadays is equally shared between me and my Girlfriend, I would not define as a fetish.

As Helen mentioned this aspect (sexual) is becoming less important through time.

[Mackem Sue]

Does anyone dress JUST due to a sexual fetish for women's clothing?
A fetish is about the act and nothing but the act. Once you perform the act, that's it and you go back to whatever you were doing. It's a reason the term cross-dresser is preferred to transvestite.

Seeing myself in women's underwear I do admit can be arousing in the same way I'd see a woman in the same underwear. But if it was just about arousal, then it would over and done with in no time. I feel the need to dress without any arousal being there, and it's an enjoyable need beyond the sexual element. With the exception of possibly badly chosen bras and heels, I feel more comfortable and more myself in women's clothes. Sue can't be put away in a box and forgotten about. She needs to express herself.

I continue to carry out other aspects of my life when dressed. So it's something deeper than just a fetish and as others have said, crossdressing and our need to present as or feel like a women is part of who we are.

Sue

[Michelle1955]

No, for many of us on this forum dressing started at a very early age.
Myself 1st pair of panties was at the age of 5, they fit and felt amazing.
A neighbor friend ( my age) had me try her panties on.
But the true start was playing dress up with my friends on the block I wore girls cloths many times prior to this event.

Their were no boys within walking distance of my house. This was late 1950?s.

[GretchenM]

It is common for there to be a sexual element in many CD's and TG's early in their "career" of being and expressing their identity. But, as Helen says, it usually does not last more than a few years in youth and only occasionally reoccurs in adulthood. It is thought that at first the person is very enamored with discovering their different identity, but it still needs to mature a bit. As they shift from an exciting and different feeling about themselves to more acceptance that they really are different and the gender reversal takes hold and becomes a part of them, the sexual aspect fades into a minor part of the identity or at least less significant part. But, like everything else, not everybody goes through this process.

For me it was very sexual at first in my youth. But later that became less important and now is just a blip on the radar. It is natural to associate gender with sex even though in terms of actual neurological processes there is very little actual connection. That is, sex and gender operate on very different neural networks but we are taught that males and females are supposed to be very different even though, in the whole package, they really aren't that different. That allows us to draw an association between sex and gender. The association bolsters the teachings and the beliefs and thus links processes strongly. But over time, the underlying lack of connection, in spite of the association, wins out and we enter a more realistic relationship between sex and gender that reflects the truer neurological processes. That is the theory, but the fact is this aspect has never been studied much so getting beyond theory is hard. But it does make a lot of sense.

[Cheryl T]

A big NO.
I admit there were certain outfits/articles that I did find very erotic a long time ago and enjoyed experimenting with but on the whole no, this is not a fetish for me.

[MonicaPVD]

A fetish is usually an extreme coping mechanism that involves doing something that is generally considered taboo in response to an unfulfilled need or desire that goes a lot deeper than the object or act. I would guess that most of the people on a forum like this have evolved beyond that point in their understanding of what motivates behavior and, therefore, no longer need to rely on such a coping mechanism.

[1958Candi]

Yes. For me it is 100% sexual and has nothing to do with identity or any kind of gender dysphoria.

[docrobbysherry]

Despite all the vehement denials, Jane, research the number of pantie threads posted here! Countless comments about an item of clothing no one ever sees!:tongueout

Followed by many bra and nylons posts!:heehee:

Personally, I've been dressing for 25 years and at age 77 sex is STILL a big part of my dressing!:o

Altho, I go out dressed quite often, that's my main CD activity now. And, sex is NEVER involved in that!:battingeyelashes:

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Deleted by Teresa.

[Kimberly A.]

No, CD'ing is not a fetish for me, it's a hobby because I have a strong feminine side..... I just love to crossdress. :bs:

[kimdl93]

That is a difficult question for many of us to answer. There was a time, early on, when just I was aroused by just the thought of putting on an article of women's clothing. There was a time when I was thrilled when wearing lingerie was included in the bedroom. And there was a time when even that caused some stress in my marriage.

But what remains unclear is to what degree my cross dressing was driven by the sexual pleasure or if there was something more there. I suspect in my case that there is indeed something more.

[Denice]

It's exciting, on so many different levels. So what?

[MarinaTwelve200]

While there IS a fetish quality there, I dress primarily to "Escape" from MYSELF AND Maleness and its "rules". Becoming an entirely different person with none of my normal concerns and worries.----where I can completely unwind and relax.

[jessica33]

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?269544-Fetish-dressers-Come-out-come-out-wherever-u-r!&highlight=fetish

[Pumped]

I love the fetish side of it, and love just dressing up too, it depends on my mood.

Some days I want to dress up in the trashiest clothing and, well, it doesn't last long. I have a couple faux leather dresses, some hot body stocking, crazy platform heels, I love lingerie.

Some days I just want to dress up. Like today I dressed at 9AM. I slipped on a tight shiny bright pink mini skirt, patterned tights, my Roanyer breast plate with a bright pink bra with a tight long sleeve, very low cut top. The bra keeps wanting to show over the neckline! Oh, also a pair of white platform sandals. I bit on the trashy side, but nothing like some outfits! A gal might wear it on a night out clubbing.

My wife and I have been just lounging around, doing some cooking dong some serious "taking it easy" as it is HOT out today. Now it is 3:30PM and soon I will strip down to some shorty shorts and a t-shirt because mama wants to have dinner out on the deck later after it cools off and I am not prepared for the neighbors to see me out dressed!

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes, it is common. A quick look around on this very forum will confirm that. It will also indicate that there's a lot of denial going on, but that's a topic for a different discussion.

[alwayshave]

Jane, when I was a teenager, perhaps maybe. Since then, no.

[Robin777]

I did when I was in my teens. As a adult, no.

[Geena75]

Sure, it's a fetish for me sometimes. Sometimes it's just fun. Sometimes it's a very feminine feeling. Sometimes it's a blend of all of them. Regardless, I enjoy my time dressed. As a side note, is it me, or is there are negative feeling in the forum about the word "fetish?"

[TheHiddenMe]

fetish
/ˈfediSH/
noun

1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

Under this definition, I don't think dressing would be a fetish, unless someone is turned on by a specific item of clothing (like a pair of heels, for some).

I wanted to dress when I was 7 years old, before I knew what sex was.

At 14, when I put on a pair of my sister's pantyhose, I immediately erupted without doing anything.

For me, it's both a desire, but there is also a sexual component (generally when I think about it, as opposed to arousal when I am actually dressed).

We're all different in our own way.

[Pumped]

TheHiddenMe, pretty much covers me! Some clothing I get worked up without even wearing it. Like i said earlier, lingerie is a bit hot button, heels too.

[Maria 60]

If I said no I think I would be lying. I will admit when I was younger it was all sexual but as I started to dress more complet it became more of just feeling more relaxed in women's clothes. When the kids got an opportunity and they moved out my wife was really worried that Maria was going to evolve. Instead the opposite happened, most of my dressing is just watching TV and relaxing and reading. I guess we change with with our chances in life

[Bianca Fay]

Pantyhose has always been my trigger. Seeing a woman wearing nylons makes my heart race and I instantly get amped up and feel the need to immediately put on a pair. Even hearing a woman say the word 'pantyhose' drives me wild.

[VtVicky]

Simple answer: Yes.

For more depth, I suggest you read up on Classical Conditioning. (Pavlov's dogs, etc.)

[ellbee]

Here's another definition of the word...

An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence.


Note the lack of mentioning sexual gratification. ;)


In that context? I believe a LOT of people out there (CD'ers & non-CD'ers, alike) have a "fetish."

And that could be pretty much *anything*.


They simply use a nicer term for it -- but it's still a fetish. :p

[Ressie]

Mostly... fem clothing has always turned me on sexually.

[Aunt Kelly]

As a side note, is it me, or is there are negative feeling in the forum about the word "fetish?"
There shouldn't be, but there is. There is also a tendency for some who fall in the fetish category to be defensive, even to the point of rejecting a term which actually does apply to them.

[Jane G]

It's just part of my life. Has been since well before I knew what a fetish was. I can relate to the fetish angle on some occasions. But I think it's a similar feeling to when my wife puts on a negligee. It can help with promoting a sexual mood. I'm not sure if that is a fetish or just normal human behaviour. I like to think it is perfectly normal because that's me sometimes.

[docrobbysherry]

I believe the original poster here used "Fetish" with sexual connotations in mind? "Completion" is NOT a necessary requirement for fetishists. Only that u become excited or aroused!:o

And almost every single one of us has been turned on by some aspect of their dressing at one time or another.:devil:

[Judy-Somthing]

Yes, No, Maybe, Sometimes, the world may never know!

[DianeT]

Yes, it is common. A quick look around on this very forum will confirm that. It will also indicate that there's a lot of denial going on, but that's a topic for a different discussion.
Aunt Kelly, it seems a thread about Fetish can't go for long without you chiming in and patronizing us (CDers) each and every time about our supposed denial in this area.
Since you seem to be considering yourself as an authority over the subject, can I pick your brains and ask what your definition of a sexual fetish exactly is? Because unless the OP gives his own, I am left to conjectures. For example, I consider myself a fetishist since I love hose, shoes, skirts and dresses. But they don't arouse me unless a girl is wearing them. I am still a fetishist? Well, a girl will generally arouse me more when dressed than naked. Seems like I am indeed having a sexual fetish, right? Also, I don't wear French maid outfits and the like, nor racy leather or latex attires. Do I still qualify?
Really, enlighten me. Knowing it will help all the other members in denial as well.

[TheHiddenMe]

And almost every single one of us has been turned on by some aspect of their dressing at one time or another.:devil:

I'd take that bet everyday and say you're wrong.

I think a fair percentage of the posters here--probably 10 to 20%--dress because it better suits their gender identity, not because of sexual attraction of the clothes.

And there are a number of posters here who say that and you ignore them.

You're like my wife; you never let the facts get in the way of your opinions.

Note: As of today (6/7), there are about 1.5 million posts in this forum.

There are 137,xxx posts in the Transsexuals forum, or just shy of 10%.

[BTWimRobin]

I can safely say there are aspects of this lifestyle which can be highly erotic. I can't say this is a sexual fetish. If it were then I would go back to total boy mode once the sexual part is satisfied. As it stands now, I am hardly ever in complete boy mode anymore. This has really become a way of life.

[DianeT]

And almost every single one of us has been turned on by some aspect of their dressing at one time or another.:devil:
Doc, unless you conducted a survey about it, I can't see how you can be affirming this. The only thing that binds us together is the fact that we dress with attire typical of the other gender. Not the reasons why we do it.

[mbmeen12]

Wow Jane 9 years since your last started thread (interesting and good question) and as to "YOUR" question, for me its a fine line of "fetish". I feel so in sink with my inner self when dressed and everything is highlighted in senses.

noun
1.
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc

[SissieScott]

While there IS a fetish quality there, I dress primarily to "Escape" from MYSELF AND Maleness and its "rules". Becoming an entirely different person with none of my normal concerns and worries.----where I can completely unwind and relax.

That's me as well! While there are times is specifically dress for a *special occasion*, I'd say 98% of the time I dress for ME and arousal is the furthest from my mind......relaxation and a sense of *normal*...YES..... *Fetish*.... NO

[Aunt Kelly]

Aunt Kelly, it seems a thread about Fetish can't go for long without you chiming in and patronizing us (CDers) each and every time about our supposed denial in this area.
Since you seem to be considering yourself as an authority over the subject, can I pick your brains and ask what your definition of a sexual fetish exactly is? Because unless the OP gives his own, I am left to conjectures. For example, I consider myself a fetishist since I love hose, shoes, skirts and dresses. But they don't arouse me unless a girl is wearing them. I am still a fetishist?
Yes, you are a fetishist.
No, I don't consider myself to be an authority, beyond that of one who admits to being rather pedantic, but then I'm not arguing the definition. As you use it, it's accurate.

[docrobbysherry]

Doc, unless you conducted a survey about it, I can't see how you can be affirming this. The only thing that binds us together is the fact that we dress with attire typical of the other gender. Not the reasons why we do it.

Interestingly, Diane, you haven't shown the results of YOUR survey showing how many dressers have NEVER gotten turned by some aspect of their dressing!
Nor have u denied ever being aroused yourself!:o

[DianeT]

But I am not affirming anything. And the fact that I admit that I am aroused to varying levels by the dressing doesn't mean that other members are necessarily experiencing the same. It's a lot of members, a lot of different people and lot of different experiences. Although I share common elements of the crossdressing experience with other members, I have yet to find one to which I fully relate. The same must be true for everyone here, I guess.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Im horny enough just wearing panties. Anything more almost always results in something more. ;) is it sexual or a fetish? Sure, take your pick.

[docrobbysherry]

After all the above comments I think we can agree that fetish means sexual, in some form or another, if nothing else, Paulie!:heehee:

[Rachelakld]

Between the ages of 3 and 21 - NO

age 21 and 22 - Very much YES

23-56 years of age - NO (well - maybe 3 times in the last 3,000 dressing sessions)

[Lacey New]

If by ? fetish? you are asking whether crosssdressing was or is sexually stimulating, I would say yes, definitely. In my younger years just a picture of a woman wearing panties in a Sears catalog would light my fire. Putting on a nice pair of nylon briefs was even better. And even now, although the instant arousal is not there , I still find wearing lingerie to be very sexual.

[JennyMay]

It’s complicated. For me it certainly started out as sexual and wearing female clothing was a huge turn on. Nowadays I wear women’s jeans, t-shirt & underwear all the time, and sleep in a nightie. None of these things turn me on any more. They just feel ‘right’. Wearing a skirt is still a turn on but I don’t wear a skirt ‘out’ I’m sure if it became normal for me to wear a skirt in public it would not be so much of a turn on but still feel ‘right’.

[Sallee]

No not just due to a sexual fetish But yea I think there is certainly a sexual fetish in involved in cross dressing. There certainly was when I was younger, probably still now. I dressing session which may go on all day, dressing casually in slacks or jeans then going out to the mall and shopping a restraint and afternoon movie. /then back to change for something more formal at least a shirt or dress freshen the makeup and out to clubs for drinks and maybe dancing, hopefully seeing some one from the old support group and then back to home which may end with gratification or not. But it is a fun da or being a woman and looking pretty at least in my mind, enjoying seeing myself in mirrors at the mall and at the clubs latter Is that a fetish I don't know but it is fun and that is what matters

[KymG]

I wont consider it a fetish.
That to me is when you have a fetish for stockings or such.
The need to dress is sometimes sexual, but mostly a deep rooted need to dress up and escape for a few hours.
It does become sexual at the end, yes.
So a mixture of desires perhaps.

If the idea of being fully dressed and made up, and with a woman sexually is a fetish then yes for me.

The question (which i cant answer myself) is does it matter?

[Rayleen]

i like to put on my bra , breast forms , panties and skirt most days, love not to wear stockings because of able to rub shaved legs , a fetish i guess. I go sit on the patio and gazebo to enjoy the feeling of the air under the skirt














\

[Aunt Kelly]

After all the above comments I think we can agree that fetish means sexual, in some form or another, if nothing else, Paulie!:heehee:

I do not agree. Yes, more often than not, in the context of discussion on this forum, the sexual component is present, but conventional definition is a bit more inclusive...
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/fetish

[BaliGirl]

I looked up the definition of "fetish":

"a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing..."

Like some (many?), in the beginning my desire to wear women's clothing was very sexual. So by the definition, yes it was a fetish - gratification was linked to wearing a bra, leotards, etc.

As time went on, I changed. I began to be fascinated by stories of men being suddenly and unexpectedly transformed and living as a woman, especially through magic. I fantasized about being such a man being transformed and living as a woman. This was during the time when I stopped cross dressing because I was ashamed of it, especially the sexual aspect of it.

After quite some time I started cross dressing again. Yes, it was still partly sexual. But part of it is the desire to be a woman.

And now? It is still sometimes sexual. I do sometimes get turned on by seeing myself dressed. Autogynephilia is the general term. But every night I wear something feminine to bed and I don't get turned on. And when I underdress, it is because I want to feel feminine during the day, not to be turned on.

So I'm somewhere in the middle. It isn't all sexual or a fetish. But I would be lying if I said there wasn't a sexual aspect to my cross dressing.

[Mackem Sue]

Crossdressing is classed as a parphillia and on the scale of what is considered the normal range of sexuality.

Fetishism is very specific, attached to an item, including items you'd never think of as sexually alluring, or act (BDSM).

Is crossdressing fetishism? I guess it's a personal opinion. But looking at the two threads on this, I see a range of answers.

Some items of clothing may well cause arousal, some not. I admit I like stockings and garter / suspender belts and find them sexy (on women as well as me), but I also have practical reasons in that tights / pantyhose are clammy and uncomfortable around the crotch for me - hold-ups dig into my legs. But would we find those items arousing on women as on ourselves?

My start was seeing how items of clothing looked on women and wondering how they'd look and feel on myself. That unlocked it for me. I think many can relate to that statement.

At that stage, as a teenager just about anything gets you going so I think you need to take the teenage years with a pinch of salt. Looking at others, some started before puberty so how are they fetishists?

After teenage years, is it linked in with sexual arousal? It can be it's easier to become sexually aroused under the right situations and that might include crossdressing (noting women dressed up can find it easier to become aroused too). But crossdressing doesn't necessarily cause arousal (same with women dressed up) and I can continue to function dressed up without the act being all consuming or even my mind thinking about being dressed when I'm doing something else. I can be aware of being dressed while concentrating on something else, while concentrating on something else and it not get in the way.

This is where I see a big difference with fetishism. With full-on fetishists (and this includes women), it's all about the act when engaged in it. Fetishists from what I see are not engaged in other activities except perhaps acts that help act out the fantasy while engaged (an example, dressed as maids and doing nominal domestic duties - not me before you ask - just an example). They're not functionally engaged in outside or unrelated acts.

There may be some crossover or fuzziness at the boundary, especially in instances where you might dress up with the intention of committing a (consensual) sexual act. But do I dress up normally with that specific intention?

The answer is no. It's a compulsive act though enjoyable one as it makes me feel better about myself. And as I've already said, I'm continuing to function as a human being and the act does not stop me functioning. So to me, it's not a fetish. Certain items (stockings for example as already said) as said may be sexier than others, but that's a brief thought while getting changed in or out of female clothes. Once dressed or undressed, that is not the focus of my thoughts.

If women's clothes, especially dressier ones were a fetish, then I'd expect some women to be having similar issues.

How can the same items become a fetish simply because a member of the opposite sex is wearing what is not normally expected of their birth sex?

To summarise, I dress up because I need and like to, but not normally or specifically for it to be a sexual act.

That's as honest as I can be.


Sue

[Cacique82]

So I'm somewhere in the middle. It isn't all sexual or a fetish. But I would be lying if I said there wasn't a sexual aspect to my cross dressing.

This is me. When I put on a nightgown, chemise or some stockings I am definitely aroused but even after that wears off I will keep the clothes on because I enjoy them. I?ll wear panties to work or women?s jeans when I?m out and about. (Wish I had the confidence to wear a blouse out)

So while I may get excited initially when putting clothes on I can also wear them without being in a sexual mood.

I?ll wear a nightgown to bed most nights and will def be aroused but will sleep in them and waking up in one is very nice!

Wen my wife and I are intimate I?ll often have an outfit on. She fully accepts my wearing which make that time very special. Which of course arouses me. She?ll usually have something on as well but sometimes it?s just me wearing, which is very exciting.

So I?d say I?m in the middle somewhere. I find it unbelievably sexy to wear women?s clothes but also enjoy them as clothes because they feel right on me. The women in the ads/catalogs looks so beautiful and I feel like I can capture some of that when wearing the same thing-probably sounds silly :-)

[franlee]

After 50 years I must admit it is still a very strong fetish along with a long list of more reasons. But there is no reason to be ashamed to admit it is a fetish. I am and always will be heterosexual but there is no reason to be ashamed of that either, it is what it is.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Even if crossdressing is motivated by sexual arousal, is it necessarily "fetishistic"?

I had many thoughts on this. I especially appreciated the Wearside wisdom of Mackem Sue on this subject.

In general, crossdressing can be driven by any mixture of motives, some of which I'll call "erotic" (rooted in sexual arousal and gratification), and others I'll call "aesthetic," meaning "nonsexual" in this sense. Those could include comfort, the wish to experience or express femininity in some form, or to escape the perceived burden of masculinity. The terms I've chosen don't matter; it's only the meaning that counts. Depending on the individual, the time and the circumstances, there can be any mixture of "erotic" and "aesthetic" motives for dressing, ranging from zero to 100 percent. There is of course a great deal of overlap and intermingling between the two, so it can be hard to distinguish where one ends and the other begins.

Just the same, I don't believe the "erotic" motive, when present, is necessarily "fetishistic," or anyway not entirely so.

As Mackem Sue observed, when "pure fetishism" is the driver, it's all about the act, and nothing but the act. Once the act is over, there's no reason for dressing any more. This was my own experience when I first started dressing shortly after puberty. Back then, I did consider myself a "fetishist." The word was a convenient hook to hang my identity on. Despite my irresistible urge to crossdress, I knew I wasn't gay--it was only girls that interested me--and I was happy enough to be male. The thought of being female full time had never entered my head--not that transgender conditions were on anybody's radar at the time anyway. At least being a "fetishist" gave me a way to categorize myself so that I was a "known quantity," not some bizarre alien creature hitherto unknown to humanity! No matter how some people hate "labels," sometimes any label is better than none.

Dressing in those days was exclusively an erotic, sexual activity. Although I prolonged the pleasure by staying dressed as long as I could--or until my libido overcame me!--once it was over, I felt embarrassed and ashamed at the time, and couldn't wait to get safely back into male clothes. Until the next time!

However, that did change as years passed by, and I grew to enjoy dressing more for itself--the "aesthetic" reasons--independently of any "erotic" motive. In adolescence, the insistent, primal power of sexuality can be a "gateway drug" driving us to discover and even enjoy feminine parts of our psyche that would otherwise have remained unexplored. The key to further exploration is the growth of self-acceptance. Today I can toss on a skirt and panties just because I "feel in the mood" without necessarily being aroused. This too is the experience of many members here.

Fetishism is an attraction to a specific object (including body parts) or material that by reason of some association we find sexually arousing in and of itself. It's natural enough that women's clothing would constitute popular "fetish objects" for many, since clothing can appear to be visibly part of a woman herself. And what is called "intimate apparel" can for obvious reasons have a very special appeal. No wonder panties are among the favorites, though not exclusively so. I started crossdressing by trying on a skirt, but I quickly found that slipping into silky panties brought the most intense thrill. I have no doubt that was purely fetishistic at the time, though that feeling has faded with passing years even as the pleasure of dressing "for the sake of it" has emerged.

In spite of that, the erotic arousal from wearing women's clothes is not necessarily all fetishistic. For one thing, fetishists in general don't necessarily need to "wear" a fetish object, as we "wear" clothing, in order to become aroused by it. For many it's enough to see or touch the fetish object, to stroke it or otherwise be in contact with it. Indeed, many fetish objects are not capable of being "worn" in that sense. One man, a lifelong fur fetishist, could only obtain sexual gratification by stroking a piece of fur. (A sad case, since he was incapable of normal relations with a human partner.) More to the point, another man I read about, although like many he was a panty fetishist, didn't actually wear the panties, and likewise merely held and fondled them while "getting his jollies."

True, those attracted to specific materials--fur, leather, rubber and silk fetishists--often wear garments made of their favorite fabrics in pursuit of sexual arousal. However, although it's a fine distinction, I'd say that's because it's physically arousing in a tactile sense to be "enveloped" by the fetish material, as anyone might be excited to feel themselves in the arms of a lover. In contrast, "wearing clothing" can have a far broader significance, including emotionally and sexually.

Just as significant, a number of crossdressers started by wearing only the garments they found arousing--panties, hose, whatever--and didn't bother to wear any other female clothing for some time. That much is "pure fetishism."

On the other hand, my own experience was that as soon as I was "triggered" into dressing as a teen, I immediately wanted to dress entirely as a girl. Granted, there was a strong fetishistic element driving it, panties being especially erotic, but I wanted the whole package: bra and panties, girdle and nylons, slip, skirt and blouse (or a dress), shoes... This sounds similar to Mackem Sue's experience, especially since she mentioned "seeing how items of clothing looked on women and wondering how they'd look and feel on" herself. The first item of clothing I tried on was a skirt--the most visible outward symbol of femininity--and I wanted to look and feel like the girls I saw and admired around me in their clothes, an idea I found exciting in itself.

Aside from the fetish element, where does that feeling of arousal come from? There is the notion of "autogynephiiia," which Sue touched on in passing: that if we're heterosexual, we can "turn ourselves on" by looking sexy and alluring ourselves. We can "become our own lover," like Narcissus falling in love with his own reflection in the pool! I've no doubt that too can play a small part, but like many others, I don't put much stock in that theory.

Instead, to me it's the need for appropriate clothing to help us play a role, to assume an identity. This is more gender-related, though it has implications for sexuality along with it. As Sue observed, "crossdressing does not cause arousal"--not necessarily. Yet crossdressing can certainly facilitate arousal, and can even be necessary for arousal. As she went on to point out, "women dressed up can find it easier to become aroused too." This reminds me immediately of a treasured girlfriend from long ago who once said to me: "I feel so sexy in my slip." (To me she was, too.)

Does that make feminine underwear a "fetish object" to a woman? I don't suppose so, as Sue observed, any more than male underwear is "arousing" to me. It's just underwear, that's all! However, clothing can make us "feel dressed right" to play a role--which includes "feeling right" and attractive enough to play a sexual role with a partner. And for me personally, "fetishism" aside, what excited me from the start was the notion of having sex with a partner in a female role. It's a fantasy that swiftly appeared along with my earliest crossdressing.

It wasn't a "gay" fantasy. I pictured myself having "lesbian" sex in various forms. The clothes certainly played a part: having a girl take them off one by one, starting with my blouse, then my bra... To feel "ready" for that role was exciting. Overall, I could identify with a crossdresser I read about--not on this forum--who said that his fantasy was to be "taken, like a girl..." Whether he had a male or a female partner in mind I don't know, but the central idea is the same.

I can still enjoy fantasies of this kind, especially when dressed. In summary, the motives and pleasures of crossdressing are many, mixed, and varied. There are "pure fetishistic" motives at one end of the spectrum, and matters of plain gender identity at the other. In the middle can be a mixture of motives where the sexual and erotic implications of gender can hold sway.

[rosie09]

It is not easy to put a word on things that are emotional, so I rather go by what is the feeling or the journey. Crossdressing for me was at first only sexual but as the time went on, I began to appreciate the feeling of the lingerie on me before and after being sexually satisfied. Overtime, even though I am still attracted by women, I discovered my attraction to other crossdressers and the desire, still unfullfilled, to have some sexual encounter with them.

[Jay St]

For me, i started not too long ago. I bought these huge breast forms. I love huge boobs, so i wanted to try these. Once i did i loved it. I loved they felt, how they looked in clothes and all. I felt sexy and wanted to be desired by guys. TMI . I just feel so so good with them on. I get turned on shopping for clothes thinking about what I'll look like with it on. I dont know what to call it lol. Like tonight, i know when i get home tonight, i get to dress up again

[Alexis00]

Not so much since early teens, but then, yes for sure.


For me, i started not too long ago. I bought these huge breast forms. I love huge boobs, so i wanted to try these. Once i did i loved it. I loved they felt, how they looked in clothes and all. I felt sexy and wanted to be desired by guys. //
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by “huge?” I experimented with up to F cup but even D cup still feels immense to me - and there’s no hiding them!

Went through what I called my “Barbie” phase in my 20’s. Really went for over-the-top feminity, long blonde wig, fake eyelashes, long nails, large breast forms, short skirts, fishnets, etc etc. This was exclusively around Halloween activities or private parties.

A counselor explained that many CD’ers are like teenage girls: they are immature with expressing their femininity and go to extremes. She thought I’d grow out of it and was mostly concerned that I didn’t get STD’s….

At some point my attitude changed and over time I’ve become much more focused on being my authentic feminine self. Now I dress much more conservatively: trying to be attractive to the country club / tennis club crowd, so to speak.

[Tomi]

It's absoultuely is the case with me. So much that another fetish triggered my crossdressing in the first place when I was 27. I loved to express my feminine side through sexually submassive acts, because I have to be dominant in my life. I don't dress anymore but still if I have an urge it's usually when I'm horney...so that's another point to the fetish nature of my dressing.

[Di]

Fair warning

This is a support forum, not here for you elaborate details of your sex life.
OR
For you to insert your pictures.
Anymore this thread is done .
Answer the OP question
That is it.

[DianeT]

To the OP: no. Although the dressing can be exciting to some level, and there may be an element of fetishism in it (debatable, but I don't really care), it isn't the driver, never was. My driver always was the curiosity and awe towards women's bodies and looks, some in comics, some in real life, and the fact that at 11 or so I started wanting to steal some of that mojo. I had to choose between the old warrior tradition of eating their brains to acquire their powers, or dressing like them. I chose the second. If you think crossdressing is frown upon, geeez try eating people's brains. The looks you get...

[ReineD]

People aren’t born with fetishes. Fetishes are formed when we associate certain behaviors with positive rewards. Our brains become wired to derive satisfaction or pleasure from the behavior that we’ve associated with a strong feeling of well-being, such as sexual release.

So anyone who has masturbated while putting on women’s garments as a youth, has set themselves up for a lifetime habit of or craving for the behavior of putting on women’s garments. And for many people, the addictive process requires more and more of a good thing to obtain the same level of satisfaction or pleasure, progressing from just bras, nylons, or panties to other clothing, long hair, makeup, etc, and even to perceived female behavior. In time the need for sexual release abates depending on the individual, but the comfort/habit/compulsion/fetish (or substitute any word you wish) of wearing women’s clothing or otherwise emulating a woman’s appearance or behavior remains.

Unfortunately, the word "fetish" has gotten a bad rap in our rather puritanical society, and so it has become popular to describe the need for men to wear women’s clothing as an expression of gender identity. This seems so much more palatable. Given the human race’s rather extraordinary ability to justify and rationalize, and the fairly recent trends among the more politically correct segments of our society to respect differences, there are lots of people here who have become convinced they are not the gender that matches their sex - even if what they experience is merely comfort/habit/compulsion/fetish (or substitute any word you wish).

I’m not saying that people, who from an early age know they are not the gender assigned at birth, do not exist. Just saying that it’s a much rarer thing than many here want to believe.

So bottom line, it’s OK to want or need to wear women’s clothing. Just enjoy it! You don’t need to rationalize or explain it away.

[DianeT]

Interesting third chapter Reine. Regarding the second, I still think we build our dressing experience in many different ways and don't consider the building of a fetish by reinforcement by means of sexual pleasure to be the only mechanic at work. I often tell my wife that I think I probably am a fetishist, but enjoying a fetish for me (like seeing my wife's legs in hose) doesn't have to be combined with sexual pleasure. It may, or it may not. It may be just the joy of watching (and sometimes touching) something I like. And yes, there's a sexual subtext, but not necessarily sex per se. For dressing that is the same. This is why I don't mind "fetish", but "sexual fetish" as the alpha and omega, no, that is too narrow. I like to think that I am, that we are, a bit more complex beings than that. Supposing that the sexual fetish is the driver for the dressing would imply that the end purpose is masturbation, and in that case, I can get that same particular pleasure with much less convoluted and lengthy methods than spending hours getting dressed and lounging first... The way I see it, very honestly, is that masturbation, every time I did it, was just a by-product of the relaxed and self-focused experience brought by the dressing, complementing it, and not its purpose.
Also, when I started at 10-11, my dressing was very much the same experience as it is today (I have very vivid and specific memories of the first times), and I was immediately hooked. So I doubt I built any fetish. If fetish their is, it was there, alive and kicking with full strength, from the very beginning. No reinforcement needed.
But I'm just speaking for my case, so, not saying this as a general thing. Interested to see what others have to say.

[nancy58]

It's a good question. Certainly there is a strong sexual component of it, but I believe that it's also a form of escapism. I am more prone to want to dress up when I feel stuck in a rut.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think the sexual pleasure element helped start my CDing, but after a while I discovered the core of my dressing was ESCAPISIM----taking a "vacation away from myself"----And also "maleness" and become an entirely different person.------Free from my male self and my worries and responsibilities----where I can COMPLETELY "unwind" and relax. The sexual thing is just a "fringe benefit" as is my elation of "Feeling Pretty".

[mbmeen12]

I am surprised this thread is still open because Miss Jane has not been back in almost a month. But Miss Reined /GG
(So bottom line, it?s OK to want or need to wear women?s clothing. Just enjoy it! You don?t need to rationalize or explain it away) is spot on.

[Suzic]

I?ve had a huge panty and lingerie fetish since I was a young teen. Now I love every kind of women?s clothing. I feel good.

I don?t go full en femme on the street but I do wear entirely women?s clothing on the street. Some pieces are more obvious than others but it feels right,

[franlee]

I think the sexual pleasure element helped start my CDing, but after a while I discovered the core of my dressing was ESCAPISIM----taking a "vacation away from myself"----And also "maleness" and become an entirely different person.------Free from my male self and my worries and responsibilities----where I can COMPLETELY "unwind" and relax. The sexual thing is just a "fringe benefit" as is my elation of "Feeling Pretty".

You echo my feelings and I have said as much both on here and in other discussion groups.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for you're explanation, Reine! :thumbsup:

People here refer to me as a "fetish dresser" because it often turns me on! However, others disagree because there's not one particular item that excites me.:straightface:

It is the finished product looking back at me from my mirror that does the trick!:daydreaming:

[BustyOlivia]

This is how I feel exactly! I love feeling myself as a girl. I enjoy the feeling of becoming my true self. I can be free to enjoy how tight tops fit and playing with my hair and feeling so confident in my body. Maybe not as sexual as you but that?s just me girl

- - - Updated - - -

Has anyone ever watched Sapphirefoxx videos? I love ones about people transforming into who they?re meant to be. When I am Olivia I am transformed. I go into a autopilot mode when putting on my large breast forms and clothes, wig, nails and I awake as Olivia, my voice has changed and everything about me is feminine. It feels natural and I cherish my Olivia time. I wish my SO would be on board like she was once so I can have fun with her but that?s not an option. So it helps truly transforming, I even listen to mtf transformation hypnosis videos too!

:) Olivia

[DanielleCD]

When I first started dressing it had a huge sexual excitement aspect to it... part of which I attribute to going thru puberty at the time. The older I got, the more understanding I got of the feminine side of my personality, that faded away. Now it's just me expressing my fem side.

[NickieWild]

I dont think there is a unique answer to that question. To each his own, I am confident as who I am, from time to time though, i like to spice things up!

[Britney42]

Not sure if I have a fetish. Or that it necessarily will grow into makeup - possibly hair as i hated losing mine. I sometimes have phantom feelings of having hair still and will adjust the aircon in the car to try to emphasize that when it occurs.
The other day I put a pair of panties, hold ups and a satin komono on pulled out my decks, positioned a fan under my dj desk firing up and got on with a couple of hours of smashing some bangers out and doing a marilyn...
I dont think i looked in a mirror once but the sensations eventually led to the inevitable not rushed and tactile stimulation enjoying the fabrics.
Maybe if i get a wig ill have some interest in the mirror but theres no pleasure to be got from looking at my potato shaped head. I also wouldnt even consider forms, padding or anything else that interferes with touch.

[Missy Dawn]

I totally have a fetish for heels and stockings. I have no desires to become a full time CD nor a woman. I have a pair of heels that arouse me just looking at, sometimes just thinking about them. There's time I feel fem when I'm wearing my stockings garter belt and spiked heels. But the main reason is for me to end up self pleasuring. I've never dressed to just dress there is always a strong sexual desire to start with. I'm sure there are more on this site like I am. I don't look down on anyone for their level of CDing or desire to go out in public or not. Just enjoy yourselves how ever you feel you want. We are all here because we love womens clothing in one way or another. Lets just support and accept each other.
Peace and Love
Missy :Peace::hugs:

[NewSally]

Well said Missy - I feel very much the same as you do. Mostly I wear women's lingerie, and on occasion some makeup, just for the pure thrill of it all, as it's something that is so different from my usual humdrum male life. I do sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to dress fully and go out in the world that way, but know that with my many limitations that's just not possible.

Having fun is what life's about - we're only here on this planet for a few moments, so might as well enjoy it while we can.

[Missy Dawn]

Amen Sally! Fun and more fun makes the world go round. The older I get the more important it becomes to just enjoy myself.

[GiovannaBotta]

Hi! New to the forum here.
I started with heels and makeup.. still crazy about stilettos (dream about finally buying my Louboutin So Kates) but more than anything high heeled knee and thigh-high boots. I now fully dress and love it dearly, I kind of feel whole and complete while dressed.. but I sense that my fully dressed persona evolved as a way to justify wearing heels. Does it make sense? I love the woman feel that I have while fully dressed... but the heels are the kick, are what makes me feel it truly.

[valerie anne]

I have so many fetishes! This post might get deleted!

I love to present as a sexy woman, with makeup, garter belt, sheer stockings, impossible heels etc. But my real goal is to develop heavy boobs, so that I can present a full bust under a tight top and can't go without a bra.

I am presently a firm 36 C cup. This is enough to give some shape, but I am too pert. I want to get heavier and sag, and I would love to be a wobbly DD.

[GiovannaBotta]

Oh sexy woman all the way. Tight jeans, boobs, towering heels, powerful makeup, huge earrings... I love it like that. When in public I like to stand out!

[Emptyeyes]

No. Despite being trans, I was never much into gender specific structure in my life, but by trying to express that, it was always with mix results in clothing. I predominantly prefer unisex matters. If androgyny was ever popular by having a city store around me in tribute to that instead of shopping online, I wouldn't bother with anything outside of it.

[NickieWild]

valerie anne
Why would it get deleted ? Nothing seems to be out of boudaries.
From what i understand, you are transitioning ? Whatever makes you happy should be an objective, so i hope for you that you can accomplishe your heavy breast dream 🤭

[ShirleyN]

Does anyone dress JUST due to a sexual fetish for women's clothing? No not as much anymore although tbph it did happen a lot when I was younger.

[Kris Burton]

I used to think it was a fetish, one which I hid for many years. I have a strong attraction to pantyhose, not just the look but the feel also, panties, and definitely high heels. When I finally gave in to all of this, it definitely satisfied my sexual feelings, but I was to discover there was so much more. As I dressed more fully, I came to desire as full a CD experience as possible, which now includes full makeup, wig, venturing out into the community en femme, the opportunity to associate with other CD folks (which I enjoy here so much)...and who knows what else...let the imagination run wild! Not to mention the spot in my psyche that this whole experience fills, I'm not going to try to analyze what that is all about, save to say I haven't felt this good psychologically in years

So to answer the question,it's not just sexual anymore...but I still get pretty jazzed, and hope it continues.

[Shiny]

It was sheer nylon stockings, the originals from the 1960's that got me going. I loved the shiny sheen, the smoothness and how slippery they felt on my legs and the zipping sound they made when I moved in them. I guess that could be a "fetish" but over time it has gone deeper than that. I appear to be a textbook case of "TV-ism" according to the ancient dusty books by Havelock Ellis and others on the library shelves that state, a person who inclines to cross dress will start with usually only one item and then, over life, progress until they are dressing fully and completely. Then they go on to say that this desire can continue and even possibly manifest itself into a full blown Transgender condition. At my well-seasoned age I understand this now, when at first I would never have believed I would ever actually dress fully.

[MiniRock]

Knowing it will help all the other members in denial as well.

I'm not in denial. Nor do I feel patronized. For me it's a fetish, plain and simple.

[Linda K.]

When I was younger, I used to get aroused by crossdresssing. It was a sexual thing for me. But now that I am starting to build a meager wardrobe for myself, trying different things like nail polish and earrings, stepping outside en femme, I am finding a different person that has been hidden inside me for many years. I am no longer aroused while dressed but I am enjoying the excitement of being free to express my other side.

Kris - I concur, I am not going to try and analyze why I enjoy CDing, I am just going to enjoy this part of my life. We spend way too much time worrying about such things instead of enjoying what it does for us!

[Lorna]

I don't know whether I would call it a fetish or perhaps an obsession or even just plain curiosity. Although my interest in cross-dressing began many years ago in my teens, the same fundamental drivers are still there today - but because women and their clothing have changed so much over that period I rarely now find myself with the same urges that used to be there. For me, with no sisters, it was seeing girls my own age start to wear "adult" clothes, notably stockings, that first drew my interest. I was just intrigued to know what it felt like to have nylons extending up the legs beyond the knee, something boys just didn't experience.
It wasn't hard to find out: trying my mother's stockings achieved that. Very quickly, though, I realised that the apparatus for holding the stockings up was an essential part of those feelings. Mother's girdles didn't really fit but gave some idea of how girls must feel in their nylons.
With girlfriends on the scene I had an opportunity to investigate the mystery what they wore to hold up their stockings - and, to a limited extent, to ask them about it. I soon discovered that those girls I so liked seeing when out and about not only wore a wide range of belts, roll-ons and girdles but had an equally broad range of attitudes to them. In those days there was no question of going without stockings so even if girls disliked the somewhat clinical garments needed to support them, they had to put up with it.
I heard about discomfort, tightness, pressure on the tummy, awkward suspenders, hooks, eyes and zips, restriction when walking/climbing stairs/sitting down, etc, etc. All this served to increase my curiosity about how it felt to be dressed in women's clothing. So when, later, I became able to acquire examples of such underwear I was able to find out for myself - and I admit that there was a sexual element to doing that. Of course, it was soon obvious that skirts, dresses, slips, bras and shoes were so much part of that "how does it feel?" experience that I quickly moved on to those items as well. When tights began to replace stockings and panty girdles replaced open girdles and suspender belts I had to try those too, once again finding the experience interesting and, to some extent arousing.
For me, therefore, it was that era of female clothing that I obsessed about and not the idea of living as a woman. It wasn't make-up or hairstyles or handbags or jewellery that interested me and there was no way I would ever be able to "pass" as a woman nor did I really want to but I did want to try to find out what it was like to dress in those clothes for as extended a period of time as possible and to try to do what women would do while wearing them, in the process experiencing to a limited extent all the difficulties and restrictions the clothing imposed while enjoying every minute of the experience.
Just one example: one of my girlfriend's friends had a "problem" figure (my girlfriend's words) and I learned that she wore a substantial girdle and long-line bra, even though then only in her late teens. Doing this gave her a curvy figure and distinct waistline and she took care about the kinds of dresses and skirts she wore to make the best of her figure. Nevertheless, my girlfriend felt sorry for the bigger girl and commented on how difficult and uncomfortable it must be for her to have to wear "all that paraphernalia". Quite a few years later I was able to feel for myself what it was like to wear a high-waist girdle and strong, long-line bra - plus stockings, heels, dress, etc. and I did so with an element of both arousal and sympathy and also admiration for that young woman coping so effortlessly (as it appeared) with clothing that we young men never had to endure. Now I'm much older I can still get aroused at the thought of those clothes and the girls and women who wore them and through dressing I actually have experience of how it felt, even if opportunities to see women in such clothes or wear them myself are now very rare.

[XemmaX]

i don't just dress for fetish but sure my femme side has a fetish aspect too. but hey my masculine side also has sexual interests too.

[Staci]

Too many fetish definitions posted to connect with them. I get excited every time I dress up. It is a great Escape as well. I get to be this pretty female wearing the beautiful clothes that I was told are for girls/women only.

[Valery L]

Yes. If there was not sexual arousal associated to my dressing, probably I would not crossdress.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I see it as an entire package---The sexual turn on, the "Vacation away from my self" and manhood, that allows we to completely unwind and relax as a different person, and the fun and pride of just "feeling pretty".

[Marissa Q]

Very well said, Marina. I think that describes my feelings regarding dressing, fetishizing, et. al.. You're totally right: it's a package deal with lots of characteristics -- physical, emotional, sexual -- that meld nicely together. I do enjoy trying to figure out the reasons and roots for dressing but I find that, nearly all of the time, just letting go of all the analysis brings me the most enjoyment during my en femme moments. I just want to be.

[Jessica Secret]

Depends how you define "fetish" per say, I don't consider it a fetish although I do wear beautiful/romantic sleepwear to bed every night and 99% of my wardrobe is beautiful/romantic/bridal lingerie. It's not strictly sexual but I do gain a lot of sexual stimulation from it especially wearing it for my boyfriend.

[Aunt Kelly]

Yeah, that's pretty much the definition of fetish. Why are you trying to avoid it? Do you see "fetish" as something to be ashamed of?

[Tomi]

Yes, absolutely. That's the only reason why I got dressed. As long as I can remember I always got the most turned on by watching or recieving oral sex, and one fateful day when I was 27, I started to wonder about what would it be like to be on the other side of it, and the natural consequence was to start wearing lengerie while I was doing it to maximize the submassive, feminine aspect of it. So it's actually two fetishes which goes hand in hand in my case.

I hope it was not too graphical I just wanted describe the full picture.

[CeCe]

Great topic! I started crossdressing in my 30s, being dressed in lingerie, skirt and blouse. My crossdressing experiences were rare until a few years ago. I am in my 60s now and sometimes still enjoy wearing women's clothing alone at home. I would say it is no longer a fetish for me but maybe I wish it was.
I am a sexually-active gay man and would like to have sex wearing these clothes but. like most gay men, my partner is not interested so it does not happen.