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Emma_Forbes
04-04-2006, 10:41 AM
Hi Girls,

Miss Controversial here again.

I see in a lot of posts that love is often the reason for a cd and so to stay together and that is very valid, precious and a reason for celebration. However, it is possible for it to work the other way round and from my own experience I offer this example.

After my marriage failed because of my crossdressing (according to her!) I was lucky enough to meet a gg who was fine and accepting about my crossdressing. I told her this almost right from the outset (third date or something). She loved me to bits, told me so as often as possible. Whilst Emma never surfaced while we were together, I am still certain that Emma would have been part of our relationship and supported fully by my g/f.

So what happened? I broke it off. Why? Because I had no real feelings for her. I didn't love her and couldn't see that I ever would. Some would say I was foolish (she certainly did) and sometimes when I think of the support I would have had, I am inclined to agree. However, it wasn't me and I could not allow the relationship to continue under false pretences. Even though my crossdressing is very important to me, I wasn't willing to ignore love as the basis of my relationship with her.

I'm not sure therefore if love made the relationship fail but certainly whilst crossdressing may have provided some incentive for the relationship, the lack of love meant it was not to be.

What am I trying to say? Having just read the post, I have no idea! I'm sure there's something valuable in there somewhere. Maybe it's about getting your priorities right and being true to what you believe and never letting your life be utterly dominated by one aspect of it. Perhaps it's that love is a tremendously powerful emotion equally able to hold people together and split them asunder. I don't know but I am envious of those in relationships and I wish I had it too, but not at any cost.

Em

Yes I am
04-04-2006, 10:47 AM
There are more females out there who are more than willing to be accepting of a crossdressing mate than one might think, you were right to break it off if you didn't have genuine feelings for her, I just hope you let her down easy.

Bernice
04-04-2006, 11:20 AM
I must admit I am confused by your post. You title it as "Love is not enough", however, you go on to explain that you terminated your relationship because there was no love, or not enough love. I guess I don't see how the title relates to your situation.

A person's acceptance is not enough reason to love them, if that is what you are asking. I learned that the hard way myself. I stayed with an accepting girlfriend longer than I should have. The rest of what is important was simply not there. Moving on was the right thing to do.

Love, by itself, if there is really enough of it, is a tremendously powerful thing, and can make the oddest of marriages work remarkably well. I am reminded of political analysts Mary Matalin (Conservative) and her "Serpent head" husband, James Carville (Liberal) who appear on Sunday news program from time to time.

Hugs,

Bernice

Emma_Forbes
04-04-2006, 11:30 AM
Yes I let her down as gently as possible, face to face. It wasn't easy but then it never is, I guess. That's when she said I was a fool and I would regret it.

Bernice, you are quite right, the title doesn't fit but that's because my brain isn't working today. :confused:


A person's acceptance is not enough reason to love them, if that is what you are asking. I wasn't really asking - but I think that's what I was probably trying to say (very badly)!

Em

Cheery GG
04-04-2006, 11:41 AM
Hi Emma, (cool name by the way !)

Your post has intrigued me...and this is something that i sometimes think about.

From my own experience i can without doubt that if i didnt love Lisa, i wouldnt be with her....period....

We had a similar conversation not long ago in fact where we were talking about Lisa and our relationship....and i said this.....

Lisa is someone i have come to fully accept...over time, it hasnt been an easy road.....but with our honesty, openess and LOVE for each other we got it sorted.


I see Love as the basis of our relationship, and theyre are layers on top...like layers of a cake....which enriches our feelings for each other. Lisa is probably the top of the cake....my kids are in there somewhere too....those things make us who we are, make us whole....I see Lisa as a bonus, a plus an addedd extra....like a 'buy one get one free offer'....! :lol:

This doesnt always make it easy.....there are things we still regularly discuss....and there are times when i was we were 'normal'.....but ive come to realise that this IS normal for us....

Ok...so ive rambled....not made any sense...hey you gotta love me !:<3:

cheery (aka emma)

Emma_Forbes
04-04-2006, 11:57 AM
like a 'buy one get one free offer'....!

Brilliant.....and funny too!

RenaCD
04-04-2006, 12:31 PM
Emma my wig is off to you, you did the honest thing and thats always the right thing. It's like the shoes you talked about in another post just not fitting right.
There are shoes out there for you and you will fine them I'm sure.:thumbsup:

Keep Looking, Big Hugs Rena