My nervous shopping outing today

[robyn rose]

So what a morning I've just had!

I've been feeling down over the last week or so and my health is far from great at the moment so I needed a bit of a pick me up.
All week I've been trying to pluck up the courage to go to one of the superstores and treat myself to some lingerie, Nothing special but as a lot of you girls know there's nothing like a bit of retail therapy to make you feel better.

So finally today I went out to a fairly local large store, Grabbed a basket on arrival and had a look round the store, Still as nervous as hell I bought a few general items such as a magazine etc to pop on top of the lingerie so it wasn't totally obvious.

So there I am alone in the lingerie section and selected some 80 denier black opaque tights to go with some new dresses I've bought, Some black panties and two pairs of black stockings which I need to go with the garter belt I bought from Amazon this week :)
On the sale section was a nice shocking pink mini nightie with white lace trim which I couldn't resist either and was very cheap.

So off I went to the self checkout, scanned the items and the pink nightie wouldn't scan. I stared for what seemed a lifetime at the button on the self checkout which said 'Please call for an assistant' In a blind panic I quickly cancelled everything I'd scanned and started again without the pink nightie and all was fine.

I quickly bagged the items and started to head off out of the shop, When a voice said 'Excuse me sir' have you forgotten this? Holding the pink nightie in her hand.
In a hot fluster I quickly said No it was there on the side when I scanned my items. She gave me a lovely cheeky smile and walked off.
She must have noticed how hot and flustered I was and I'm pretty sure she knew it was really mine. Thinking that she might have an idea it was mine really cheered me up in a funny sort of way :o

I really wish I could be less nervous but I can't no matter how much I try, I'm now back at home with some nice new things to try on and waiting patiently to go to the Amazon locker tomorrow to collect the lace garter belt and dresses I've bought, I will then try and be brave and take some pictures to show you girls what I've bought :)

Why are things so difficult for us girls?

[Charla]

Good for you! You made the first step in expanding your wardrobe! Realize that clerks don’t care what you’re buying, they just want the business. You could just as well be buying for a wife or girlfriend so far as they’re concerned. Go back and get the shocking pink mighty and enjoy it!

[Karren H]

That reminds me so much of my first few shopping trips. Before self checkouts were invented! You should have just told her that the pink nightie would not scan and that it was going to be your Fathers Day gift to yourself!!

[alwayshave]

Robyn, one of my first times shopping for panties, I'm in the lingerie section of Kohl's shopping for panties, when this older women said to me, "you really shouldn't be here." At the time it really flustered me. Today, I would have said "why is that? Is there a sign that says I can't shop here." Confidence comes with time.

[Judy-Somthing]

I know how you feel.

Some people can be a real bummer!

I was in a store one time looking at dresses and a woman who worked there said in a sarcastic tone "Looks like someone needs a dress".

Made me feel very uncomfortable, I never look a dresses in that store again.

Another time when I was paying for a few dresses the older male cashier said "these will look great on you'.
I said "I hope they fit" he looked a little stunned at my reply.

[Teri Ray]

Been there done that. But it does get easier and when the sales assistant asks you are these for you? Just smile and say "well you never know". Don't give up

[Stephanie47]

One of the things I learned about shopping for sale items is to use the self scanners located throughout the store to check for the price. Sometimes the sales price is not reflected on the scanner. Other times, when it is new inventory, it may not have been entered into the computer. Those may require assistance at the self checkout lanes. With internet sales I infrequently purchase femme items in stores.

There were some uncomfortable instances when I was new to buying femme garments. Usually I bought things "for my wife" at gift giving times during the year; Mother's Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. I would always ask for a gift box; something of a ruse to make the sales associate believe it was for my wife. When I was actually buying for my wife it was so easy. Other times I would buy at Halloween. Then, it seemed the sales associate thought it was cool and readily assisted me.

Once I saw an ad for JCPenny for Vanity Fair foundation half slips. I cut out the ad and scrawled on it some words suggesting my wife wanted me to stop and buy one for her. The sales associate, an older woman, was snarky and commented, "Oh, she even wrote the size down for you!" That was back in the 1980's. Later, I went back and bought another one in a different color, and, a younger sales associate did not say a thing or give off any non-accepting non-verbal clues.

Another time, which I have related several times on this site, I went into a Catherine's to buy full slips. I knew exactly what I was going to buy. I could see the rack near the window. It was not a case of browsing. When I entered the store you'd thought space aliens had landed to abduct earthlings. Both were older women. It was strange because there was another totally bored man in the store accompanying his wife. I was alone but dressed in slacks, shirt and tie coming from work. They were so uncomfortable with my presence that it made me uncomfortable. There were three other Catherine's in my area where younger women were totally eager to assist me and cheerful. Sometimes I think older women are set in their ways and have not caught up to where society has gone; totally judgemental in a negative way.

[JulieC]

Robyn, one of my first times shopping for panties, I'm in the lingerie section of Kohl's shopping for panties, when this older women said to me, "you really shouldn't be here." At the time it really flustered me. Today, I would have said "why is that? Is there a sign that says I can't shop here." Confidence comes with time.

Something similar happened to me more than 20 years ago while buying pantyhose. It flustered the heck out of me. But, it slowly got me more and more angry over time. Nowadays, my righteous indignation would rise I would want to have that person removed from their job. There's another part of me though that tells me not to be vindictive when faced with hatred.

[TamT]

At first, all the things were bought as presents "for my girlfiend" and later "for my wife", in the exact way Stephanie47 explained, but most of the times I missed the size and I had to return to change for a bigger or smaller one, and that always was uncomfortable because it should be "she" the one doing the transaction and I had to explain, and worst, it required to give personal information because of the credit bills, even when I used cash in the original buy.

That was "solved" when I began to try on the things that I bought in men's fitting rooms, although sometimes they "warned" me that the garment I had in my hands was for women, to which I simply answered "I know", but I have never been forbidden to do so. It was a bit more difficult to try shoes, as it must be done in a public area of the stores. The good thing doing this way is that I never waste money by buying things that I'll never use, either because it wasn't my size or because it didn't fit me or I didn't look the way I imagined it.

Of course now I prefer to go shopping en femme.

[Barbara Jo]

Unless someone has a very deep voice like some stereotypical alcoholic sailor, there is an easy way to make it sound more female .
Just tighten up your throat just a bit as if you were about to gargle and speak .
Practice this a few times and you will be amazed how female you sound......without resorting to an awful falsetto.

BTW....
Some females do indeed have a rather deep voice.
Also in most situations when shopping, you only have to say a very few words most of the time anyway .

So, do not be afraid to speak when you have to. :)

[jazmine]

Robyn! Glad you got out a picked up a few lovely items. I know how you felt. I've been there myself & even had to "abort" on a couple items I really wanted at the time. Maybe it will get easier over time. Just go out on these shopping excursions A LOT! :)

[Allieboy]

The acceptance of dressing to one?s own unique style is becoming more the norm. Just ignore the judgmental ones who are of no consequence to you.

[robyn rose]

One of the things I learned about shopping for sale items is to use the self scanners located throughout the store to check for the price. Sometimes the sales price is not reflected on the scanner. Other times, when it is new inventory, it may not have been entered into the computer. Those may require assistance at the self checkout lanes. With internet sales I infrequently purchase femme items in stores.

There were some uncomfortable instances when I was new to buying femme garments. Usually I bought things "for my wife" at gift giving times during the year; Mother's Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. I would always ask for a gift box; something of a ruse to make the sales associate believe it was for my wife. When I was actually buying for my wife it was so easy. Other times I would buy at Halloween. Then, it seemed the sales associate thought it was cool and readily assisted me.

Once I saw an ad for JCPenny for Vanity Fair foundation half slips. I cut out the ad and scrawled on it some words suggesting my wife wanted me to stop and buy one for her. The sales associate, an older woman, was snarky and commented, "Oh, she even wrote the size down for you!" That was back in the 1980's. Later, I went back and bought another one in a different color, and, a younger sales associate did not say a thing or give off any non-accepting non-verbal clues.

Another time, which I have related several times on this site, I went into a Catherine's to buy full slips. I knew exactly what I was going to buy. I could see the rack near the window. It was not a case of browsing. When I entered the store you'd thought space aliens had landed to abduct earthlings. Both were older women. It was strange because there was another totally bored man in the store accompanying his wife. I was alone but dressed in slacks, shirt and tie coming from work. They were so uncomfortable with my presence that it made me uncomfortable. There were three other Catherine's in my area where younger women were totally eager to assist me and cheerful. Sometimes I think older women are set in their ways and have not caught up to where society has gone; totally judgemental in a negative way.

Wise and interesting words there Stephanie, Thank you :-)

[Crissy 107]

Robyn rose, The good news is that it gets easier the more you do it.

[JulieC]

...like some stereotypical alcoholic sailor,...

Hey! I resemble that remark! :laughing::laughing: Not an alcoholic, but certainly had my drunken outings as a sailor. Saying "alcohol" and "sailor" is kind of redundant.

Any time I attempt to make my voice more feminine sounding, I just fail. I gave up trying.

[BTWimRobin]

Hello Robyn with a "Y",

I remember my first time shopping. I walked into a Lane Bryant. When the SA askedbif I needed any help, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth I was so nervous. It certainly does get easier the more you do it.

Congrats on your success!

[JenniferMBlack]

It is really only as difficult as you make it. Nobody really cares what you buy and even if they do why let it bother you. I made a thread about my mistake with an online order for pick up. And the last time I did pick up in store for Torrid it listed order under male name. After trying to figure out why my order isn't there she said I have a David Last name. Yeah thays probably me. Next time shopping in store she asked how the skirts worked out.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Robin :hugs:, The more you do it the easier it gets, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[SissieScott]

It does get easier, but only because it is 99% in your own mind. In 2021 people are so absorbed in themselves, their phone, texting, etc. that most don't even think or would care if it was truly yours or not! Just like my wife always tells me...."it's NOT about YOU.....what makes you think everyone is watching or thinking about you" ....and it's true!

[docrobbysherry]

When I first arrived here I was scared to death to go shopping!:eek:

But, the girls here told me to remember:

You're doing nothing illegal.
You're nothing that hurts anyone. Or, even affects them.
The SA's don't care. They've seen it all.
Patrons in the store r folks who don't know u and you'll never see again.
These r NOT women's things. When u buy them and they're yours!

Keep repeating these mantras to yourself and in time you'll realize that they r true!:battingeyelashes:

[Suzic]

You have no reason at all to feel like you do other than the reasons that someone or society put in your head. You can shop with freedom and noot be ashamed of who you are. Go to a ladieswear store that has what you like, pick an item and ask the sales clerk "Do you think that this would fit me?". You will be delighted, surprised and relieved by the reaction. She'll talk to you like any other girl. Thats when you'll know that the struggle is not really a struggle at all!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I usually shop in male mode because it takes me forever to transform into girl mode.

I had some of the same issues as all of you during my early shopping days. Then I made up and memorized some come-back lines.

Obfuscation: I;m buying it for her. I mean that "her" is Steffi. I'm hoping she thinks "her" is my SO.

The best defense is a good offence, like by putting the SA in an embarrassing position.

Oh, do you think in will fit me?
Do you think it goes with my eyes?

Distraction, by allusion to some R or X rated activity:

Or, I'm expecting some action tonight.
I hope she thinks it's as cute as I do.
I hope I get lucky tonight.

Your homework assignment. Make up some more and post them here.

[Star01]

I go to an adult gifts store for stockings and lingerie. That way the only shoppers in the store are there for the same thing. Unfortunately right now my favorite store is still order online and pickup at store and isn?t open to browsing around the store. I have another one out on the interstate I am going to check as it is across the state line an hour and a half drive. It?s a super store compared to where I normally go. That is a great way to shop lingerie for us nervous shoppers.

[Gilly68]

Robyn - I can totally relate to your story.

I've been down in London for a makeover this week, but on the day before the main event, I went to the Primark store in Oxford street - a really huge clothing store.

I'd been telling myself, no-one knows you, no-one cares what you buy, and I thought I'd convinced myself!

But as soon as walked in, I started sweating and feeling so nervous.

I wanted to buy a nightdress for myself, but could I find them, of course I couldn't, I was wandering around, trying to find the nightwear, getting more and more nervous and sweaty.

I was only a few seconds away from walking out. But, I decided to be brave, and I actually asked one of the ladies working there where the ladies nightwear is.

Obviously, she didn't care who I was or what I was buying, and told me where to find the nighties.

And that sort of calmed my nerves, and then, I was able to buy not only the nightie, but also a pair of pyjamas and a sports bra!

And even paying was easy!

So I totally agree with all the other comments - no-one knows and no-one cares who you are or what you're buying, you're doing nothing wrong, and you're giving business to the store!

It's easier said than done though - it's hard to control anxiety, no matter how logical you try and be with yourself!

[Helen_Highwater]

I can cast my mind back to the very early days, decades ago when, Christmas gave me the excuse that what I was buying was a present for my loved one. Today I would probably be more nervous about shopping in drab than shopping enfemme.

This post did remind me of a time, shopping enfemme in M&S, I saw a guy browsing the bra racks and looking very much out of his depth. Body language shrieked "I so want to buy a bra but they'll know it's for me". I felt for the poor soul having been there and not bought the bra myself all those years ago.

[suzanne]

Every CD goes through a stage like this. Uncertain about how we will be received and fearful of every negative outcome, from sideways glances to assault or arrest. It is only by going through the retail process a few times that we realize that nothing bad happens. The reality is that nobody cares. Strike that. There are tons of female sales associates who don’t just tolerate crossdressers, they ENJOY helping us. Yes, that's right, enjoy. There are too many possible reasons to explore why they do. But my advice to you is to walk into a store you think repr your style, find an SA and be prepared with your first question which could be, "Do you have dresses in (my size)". Accept gratefully all suggestions she gives, try on anything she suggests and have fun.

[Rayleen]

It sure gets easier, when i go in i don't look around and do my own business. It helps not to be nervous, do as every ladies does, do your business. most ladies now are younger and if you can't find things, ask them and its much easier than to walk around .

Once you have done it, you be amaze how nobody else care and you will relax and have a great shopping day.

[lingerieLiz]

I started shopping back in the 50s. The sales people don't care. Even back then.