Interesting Jury Duty

[MsEva]

Hi all,
Seems like I am always on jury duty. Serves me right for voting in every election. Anyhoo, in the jury room as we were getting our instructions I couldn't help noticing a young lady. Tall, red hair, tatooed over her legs and feet. I sort of recognized her. She would often take a walk around my museum in the mornings as I awaited the buses of kids. I guess I may have clocked her as I may be a bit more sensitive to the LGBQT community than the average citizen. Anyhow I believe that she is transgendered. I wanted to go over and give her some sort of encouragement. She was stunning. I was so proud of her. She had on a black suit and was very nicely dressed as compared to the others in the room. Not sure what I am going for here but it is so nice to see our community representing so well. Wish her I could tell her that just before arriving I was dressed fem as well. I know better than that but hey one for our team.

[NjJamie]

I think any one of us would appreciate simple hello and chit chat, sorry I missed an opportunity to do just that at a local Target when I saw one of us in the make-up aisle. She was a bit overdressed for the situation but looked awesome, hope she had a great time!

[MonicaPVD]

Tread lightly. Some might appreciate your approach, while others may react with apprehension. You never know where people's minds are. Sound advice when dealing with any woman these days, cis or trans.

[Rhonda Darling]

Makes us all wish we had a secret handshake (or hug) and a signet ring to go with it. Would be great to be able to recognize each other and be able to discretely acknowledge same while out among the muggles.

Sigh!

[SaraLin]

Jury duty - Don't get me started. I once got a summons for jury duty WHILE I WAS ON JURY DUTY. @#$!!

Now about approaching another member of our community in the wild: I know that when I was out somewhere, the last thing I'd want is some form of "I know what you really are" - from anyone.
It's telling me that I've failed to "pass" or "blend" or whatever word you want to use.
Here I am, just trying to go about my day when some stranger walks up to me and starts talking about how they know that I'm not really what I'm trying so hard to be.

Ouch.

It seems to me that if someone has worked that hard to look, act, and in this case live the part, the highest compliment we can give them is to wholeheartedly accept them as what they're presenting to the world.

Besides - what if you're wrong and it IS a GG after all?

[CharlotteCD]

As above, I know I don't pass, but if I did think I passed, I'd hate to be confronted with the reality that you've been spotted.

[Crissy 107]

I think a simple hello, I remember you from the museum might be good. Should it open up more conversation good, if not that is ok too.

[SheriM]

I'm thinking that if she is dressed nicer than the rest, a compliment to that effect might be OK.

[docrobbysherry]

Pleasant conversation with her mite be nice for u both. Bringing up anything about her being LBTQ could be most unpleasant!:doh:

I once was sure a trans worked in our local AmEx. So, I went up to ask her a shipping question. She answered in a most feminine voice!:eek:
Boy, was I wrong! So, glad I didn't say anything!:heehee:

[MsEva]

Well I was not called in today. Yay for me. Have to check tonight to see if my luck holds out. BTW I would never find the courage to talk to this young lady about her situation. It was just food for thought. I have noticed that her hair has gotten noticeably longer since I last saw her on her walk around the museum. She is rather tall and I noticed she wore ballerina flats in the initial jury meeting. I wonder if I will be called in with her group and wonder what cute fashions she chooses to wear. She had on a very cute black outfit, kind of a short black skirt or skort with a black blazer. Very professional looking. Anyoo, no worries I am going to keep to my self and not mention anything.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ms Eve :hugs:, Keep us advised, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Ressie]

I thought you were gonna say you got out of jury duty by showing up in DRAG. Would that work?

[MsEva]

So it got real today. Went to the jury pool as instructed this morning. Waited about. No sign of the young woman. Got called directly into the jury box. Sheesh! Well it turns out it was a murder trial. My heart sank. During the strike session I guess one of the trial lawyers didn't like my responses so I was sent out. I had to tell them about an incident when I was called back to a high school to teach and on the first day I was there a student brought a gun to school, shot it up and I had to fend off the intruder from coming into my classroom. I was called as a withness int that trial and had to testify.

[MsEva]

I thought you were gonna say you got out of jury duty by showing up in DRAG. Would that work?

Well I did underdress for the occasion. Thought it would be a bit of hidden solidarity with the young trans girl.

[NancyTO]

Well, a Star Trek fan once arrived every day for jury duty wearing a Star Trek uniform in the high profile the Whitewater trial of Governor Jim Guy Tucker in Little Rock, Arkansas. She was an alternate and subsequently dismissed for talking to the press. So I don't think coming enfemme to jury duty would be a super big thing.

[abby054]

I thought you were gonna say you got out of jury duty by showing up in DRAG. Would that work?

Ten or twenty years ago, you would be told to go home and change clothes or cited for contempt, depending on how the judge felt. Today, few jurisdictions would even notice how you are attired, provided you are dressed 8n a clean and respectful manner for your chosen gender.

As for making contact, that does not impress me as a good idea. Jury duty is not a place where the average person goes to find new friends. They will go to places that exist to encourage socializing when they want new friends. The irony of your situation is that making contact to say you are impressed with how well she passes actually confirms that the person is not passing.

[Dragster]

I've seen this from the other side. I've only ever been out dressed once, and I went to a dressing service for the preparation and clothes. I was in a big mall in Manchester (Trafford Centre) and I only noticed one person looking a little longer than a casual glance. I caught her eye, smiled and winked at her. She smiled back, curiosity satisfied, turned away and went about her business. I took it as a positive encounter.

Tony

[GretchenM]

In my view, if you meet a sister just treat them like anybody else. A nice smile or hello and if you want a compliment on something and move on. The other day at Office Depot a person waited on me with gorgeous nails with unique color pattern that looked like and iridescent spectrum. A quick look at this initially looking like a 6 foot 6 inch man the tells were there - a sister. I complimented her polish job and left it at that. But I also showed sufficient mannerisms to indicate that I was a member of the club as well. We parted with a nice smile and a knowing and understanding look to each other.

[Mermaiden]

Interesting to think about being crossdressed as a juror. Wonder how the other jurors would react, and if it would influence the attorneys?

[Stephanie47]

I wonder how your conversation would have gone if you approached her believing she was a cross dresser and she wasn't! I don't think too many cis women would have appreciated your interaction. I'd leave it at a brief non-verbal acknowledgement, if anything at all.

[Jenn A116]

How about just a nice, passing (no pun intended) comment about liking some item of clothing/jewlery she was wearing?

[Mackem Sue]

Hi all,
Seems like I am always on jury duty. Serves me right for voting in every election. Anyhoo, in the jury room as we were getting our instructions I couldn't help noticing a young lady. Tall, red hair, tatooed over her legs and feet. I sort of recognized her. She would often take a walk around my museum in the mornings as I awaited the buses of kids. I guess I may have clocked her as I may be a bit more sensitive to the LGBQT community than the average citizen. Anyhow I believe that she is transgendered. I wanted to go over and give her some sort of encouragement. She was stunning. I was so proud of her. She had on a black suit and was very nicely dressed as compared to the others in the room. Not sure what I am going for here but it is so nice to see our community representing so well. Wish her I could tell her that just before arriving I was dressed fem as well. I know better than that but hey one for our team.

Skirt suit? Heels? Hoisery?


Good for her.


Sue

[Jane G]

I would say you can only be honest about most situations. But I as others have said. no one wants to know they have been read. Of the hundreds of CD and TG's i have read over the years, I have only commented to a hand full and only ever to complement, while being aware that it could be taken the wrong way, some times you simply have to say what you see.

[suzanne]

Why not try saying something relatively neutral, like, "Your shoes are amazing." or something similar that might apply. Comments like that are almost always made woman to woman. Men never say that to other men. And they don't generally say it to women they don't know.

[Ericka_d]

I work retail, and had two woman come in a month or two ago. One was cis, and the other was trans. She just started her journey. I clocked her right away. Mostly because of her size. I'm 6ft, and she was taller then me by a head.

As im helping the cis friend. I realize she had no clue I was trans, and was talking about her friend in a good way, and I don't think the trans woman clocked me.

There is now way. I would want some one to clock me in public. Now or ever trans or not. I pass well. I work with only woman. Half of them never knew I was trans, and 99% of my customers don't know. Including my trans ones, so I paid her the same respect.

[Krisi]

Just imagine that you see a woman and think she is transgender or a crossdresser so you mention this to her and it turns out that she is an actual female and just a bit large or not feminine looking or acting. How embarrassing would that be?

If you think what appears to be a woman is transgender or a crossdresser, the best thing you can do is treat her just like you would treat any other woman.

[MsEva]

I certainly appreciate all your comments. Well about 3 weeks in and was only called twice. I wonder if we will be in the same pool again. I would not approach her, I am too shy and too empathic for that. I used to see her on her walks around my museum. She was always dressed down with skinny jeans and a "normal" top like a cotton blouse. I wish her well and I am so proud of her for her courage. God speed to this young woman.

[nancy58]

My local TG group had a rule: don't approach another member in public. If the woman is living en femme full-time, letting her know you clocked her isn't going to be encouraging. Worse, if she's cisgender, telling her she looks like a man in a dress is not going to be supportive. If you get the opportunity to speak with her, by all means do so, but unless you bump into each other in some transgender setting, you need to maintain a week of confidentiality.

[Genifer Teal]

Easiest thing to do is start a conversation then mention some LGBT places or events and suggest maybe you saw her there. It opens up the fact that you are too. This may put her at ease. I'm not suggesting you say have you been to this LGBT club. The names are a bit less obvious about who they cater to. So if you mentioned a place by name and she knows it she may be on the inside if you know what I mean and it won't be giving everything up to those that don't know if anyone hears the conversationm

[kellyanne]

I watched a spy thriller ( they were not TG) but they did this with identical tie clips , the first spy was told to study the clip design - he did not keep it - when he went to they way they had the camera roaming they shirts & ties when he arrives at the embassy worked really well.