What, my attire is not right? How would you discuss this?

[Aka_Donna]

I'm posting here as this is not fashion, or clothing, but discussing which looks work with the SO.

I'm been wearing the same bra for months, and just tonight I hear "that bra is too big for you".
What? I thought I had it right. 6' and 38c. Isn't that typical? I guess it really doesn't matter, as the real question is how to discuss range of bra sizes with SO.

I've never had this discussion before, so looking for some advice and hints on discussion, like what to not say, and things to be sure to include in discussion.

[Helen_Highwater]

Donna,

Fill in some blanks if that's OK with you. What's your male chest size? Are you a 38 chest? Also, do you wear forms with your bra or go bare chested, using just what you've naturally got.

These are things that add relevance to the question.

[DianeT]

I'm don't intend to discuss bra sizes with my wife, so no experience to share here, but why don't you simply ask your wife what she meant with that comment?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Donna, Maybe your wife doesn't want you to have BIG BOOBS, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[Ressie]

Maybe Blue Orchid is right...?

I have lots of bras that are the wrong size. Mostly because the D cup forms I had started falling apart and were thrown away. The newer pair I bought only work with a couple of my bras.

Also, I found that my chest (boobs) tends to protrude more than those of my CD friends'. The bigger they are the more attention they draw. So maybe your wife thinks your boobs are drawing too much attention? Just a guess without more info.

[Jenn A116]

Agree with one of the PP's that you should simply ask your wife what she means by too big. Is it the boobs/cup size? or is the band too loose? Do the cups wrinkle because your boobs don't fill them?

[Cheryl T]

A lot depends on your size and shape.
If you are slender then maybe a C is too big. Maybe the 38 band is wrong and it doesn't sit correctly.
We need more details about you to suggest whether it is right or not.

Then again, if it's just the cup size, maybe you prefer being busty as a slender lady. I used to where a larger size and loved it, then when I began going in public I didn't want the attention they would bring and I found that for me downsizing to something more average worked best and made my clothes fit better.

[Stephanie47]

You're not giving us much detail. I have to assume your wife has to be commenting about cup size. Most of the time I see an issue with a woman it relates to the wrong band size as she looks like she is a stuffed sausage. The bands are digging into her flesh. Totally visible on a clinging tee shirt type top. I use to be a band size of 38. Add some pounds and I am comfortable in a 42 and even a 44 depending on the number of hooks in the band. Maybe, your band size needs to be adjusted. Maybe you're skinny as a rail and the cup size is disproportionately too large. I have seen many women of small stature who are definitely "top heavy." I have read your posts and your wife seems to be very supportive. So, I'd ask her.

[sometimes_miss]

I got the same comment from my ex back when we were married; when I asked why, she said I didn't quite fill the cups, as there was a slight wrinkle horozontally showing through my top. so she said I needed a smaller cup size.
Then later, when I made the same comment about her, boy was she furious; I was in the dog house for months.
Just mentioning it so you don't make the same mistake.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Maybe the band stretched out over the last 6 months and that is why it's too big for you.

[Pumped]

I am assuming she meant 38C is too large of cup size? It is a good size IMO. Large, but not crazy.

But then I might be a poor one to ask. Most of my bras and forms are 38DDD and larger!

[Genifer Teal]

When you close the band for a snug fit which hooks are you on? You should aim for it to fit on first hooks. Then as it stretches over time you have two more hooks to take up the slack. As information if you go down in band size and go up one cup letter it is the same size cup. I needed a tighter band and switched from 36c to 34d. It fits better. For reference im 6'4". I didn't want something so large at first. Then I decided based on looks what seemed to fit my frame best. Some might think they are big but smaller forms just got "lost" on me.

I think your wife's issue may be the forms are to big. Ask what she really thinks.

[Krisi]

If your wife commented that your bras was too big for you, that was the time to talk to her about it. It was an invitation from her to help you find the correct sized bra.

You should have had the conversation right then but it's not too late to have it now. She seems to be offering to help you find a bra that fits properly. Accept that help.

[Beverly Phillips]

Hi Donna, something not to say (which can be said without words) - She's been a girl for ___ years and you've been a girl for ___ years. You may not want to come across as you know more than she does or that you don't value her opinion. If you do, you may as well go ahead, grab your pillow and make your way to the doghouse! 😋🤐 Some things to say when offered constructive criticism... "Sweetheart, I really appreciate you looking out for me. Thank you." This doesn't mean you are obligated to take her advice or even agree with it. My very supportive wife told me the exact same thing. I explained how I'm 5'11" and weigh 180 lbs and believe that my C cups are proportional to my frame. She responded, "your cup size has nothing to do with the size of your frame!" At this point, I had to make a quick decision... "What's more important, me being right... or to continue enjoying my happy relationship with my best friend?" 🤔. No brainer? Right? 😁 You may want to consider some possible subplots. 🙄 Not long ago, my wife jokingly told me that she was jealous of my boobs (she is not real excited about her A cups and may even feel cheated by the Booby fairy! 😄). I also know that my wife worries about my safety when I'm out in feline form and, to my surprise, even becomes protective. So she may be telling me out of her concern for my safety. Many times we don't really know all that is involved in their comments or advice... In my experience, I have found life to be much easier and way more fun when I keep my focus on the commitment behind my wife's words or actions; which is usually based on her love for me! 😍 On a side note, it took me awhile to see beyond my own arrogance, but... to my great surprise, my wife has been right more often than not! 😋 😁 warmly... Beverly
Be kind... love and be loved... Peace

[Debra Russell]

Just ask her what she ment................Debra

[Karren H]

No better excuse to go out lingerie shopping if you ask me!

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I suppose an appropriate bra size depends not so much on your height as on your huild and chest size. However, I'm 5' 11', fairly slim build, and I like a 38C also. It's nice to feel I have "tempting enough" breasts without going overboard into D territory. It's also easy to find bras in that size. It seems to me the commonest bra sizes range from about 32B to 38C. While 38C is at the larger end, it's still well within the range of average. My wife's bras are 38C; she's 5' 7" and also with a fairly slim build. I'm sure any woman of my size and build would look fine in a 38C.

But this is about your wife, and the way I see it, it's actually a positive thing that she would take enough interest in your dressing to make such a comment. Certainly you should respond to her conversational opening and continue this discussion with her. The obvious question to ask is "What size bra do you think I should be wearing instead?"

[NewSally]

I would tend to agree completely with Lori Ann, and since your wife is likely trying to help, why not enlist her to help you shop for whatever bra she thinks would look best on you.

[Krisi]

What is not clear here is; Was she talking about your actual bra size compared to your breast forms (assuming you are wearing breast forms) or was she talking about your breast forms themselves (your breast size)?

Either way, she is offering to help. Accept that help.

[Ressie]

I just ordered the smallest breast forms that could find. They're either A or B cup depending on chest size. If I don't like them I'll sell them to SirDonna!

[Alexis00]

I use silicone hip/butt pads worn with a sports bra when I want something showing but not too noticeable. They work well for more vigorous activities also, jogging etc.

All my forms have pretty prominent nipples and some even poke through my 3rd Love bras, so it’s all-in for those!