How do you cope when you have no place or time to dress!

[Judy-Somthing]

I lost my Girl Cave three months ago.
It was so cool, a basement room 12' by 20' and no one ever came down.
Well I don't have access to it anymore and it's starting to get to me!

I took allot of photos when I knew I was going to lose my Girl cave that I haven't posted, that helps a little.

Every time I watch TV I see so many dresses I want to wear.

Can't dress at home, wife is home all the time. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[xam]

Well I can't dress at home either so I just take what I am going to wear and pack it in a tote bag. Head to some place secluded like a park or office district during weekend. That's why I only use faceapp for makeup unless you want to try doing your makeup in a porta pottty or public restroom ( do you think that is fun:heehee:).

[Aka_Donna]

Easy answer is underdressing, but doesn't sound like that would meet your needs. Better answer is the hard one. At some point you need to have a discussion with wife and find a better solution to the issue. Caution too many try to be a man and push solution. A real solution is one that meets both of your needs. Many many threads on this. IF you want advice, it would be better to have a new thread with a long intro so we don't have to guess or provide unhelpful responses. Something like this:

-- my present level of CD
-- the furthest I can see CD going in my life
-- type of family relationship
-- current state of CD in family
-- how presented CD in past to family
-- what reactions followed by family
-- how important, really, is CD to you
-- how strongly does wife/family feel about CD and CD discussions

Anyway you get the idea. It's easy to spit out "my answer" without considering is it likely to work in that situation. So the background is important. AND, consider carefully even with alias, do you want this on a public forum. It might be better in counseling session.

IF you use facebook for sharing and google for searching, this will become part of their history of you. Some times they use the IP address of the system where they collect data and there are many stores of them sharing that data to known users on that IP, i.e., other family members.

Good luck, and let us know if we can help.

[Teri Ray]

What caused you to loose your girl cave?

[Sarah Louise]

I sometimes book a hotel room when dressing opportunities are limited.

[Stephanie47]

Judy, welcome to the club. I retired before my wife. While she was still working I had seven hours plus on the days she worked. I was productive; cooking, baking, laundry, ironing, vacuuming, changing the bed linens. All a la June Cleaver; dresses and heels. Then, she retired. With coivd, we're joined at the hip. Except for the fact we sleep apart for medical reasons I would not have any chance to be en femme at all. I sleep in a nightgown, panty and sometimes a padded bra. She sleep until ten in the morning while I am up about 7 AM. That gives me some time to wear my night clothes under a fluffy long robe and bang away on this keyboard. Pre-covid my wife would babysit for our daughter at our daughter and son-in-laws apartment about forty miles away. That gave me some time to be totally en femme and go out for an evening drive and stroll. The other thing I do is accumulate panties for my "collection" of my favorite maker and styles. I know I'll never be able to wear them all, but, it is called retail therapy.

[BustyOlivia]

I like to dress in my mind, I use my imagination when I see a girl with her nails done, I imagine them as my nails and I imagine almost a field of energy around me of feminine energy and I can be Olivia anytime I wish!

[MarinaTwelve200]

I like to review my photographs I took during my sessions and often look for frames in my videos that also make good and "different" photos. I have a hard time "visualizing" my "Fem-self" anyway. I can get a better idea what I would look like as a female.

[Lilly Diadem]

I go gently insane....

Actually I get depressed and anxious and I have even brought this on myself with a self-imposed ban on dressing as I feel guilty for doing it.

Last year it resulted in a mental explosion which could have turned out very differently.

This time I'm trying something new.

After a long period of not dressing, partly self-imposed and partly for a lack of interest in anything (depression) now the seasons change, the days get shorter and the pink fog rolls in I'm putting coping mechanisms in place.
Key to this is under dressing, mainly just panties, shaved my legs and wearing female nightwear as the mood suits.

I'm fortunate in that my SO is fine with me dressing and will get cross if she thinks that I'm repressing the desire to dress as she knows it will lead to a poor state of mind.
The problem is with me and what goes on inside but I guess most of us know that feeling.

[Geena75]

There are a lot of good suggestions: underdress, use your imagination, etc. I use my writing to help. Through it all, there really is no substitute for dressing up. I've used the vacant house we keep an eye on a few times, but it creates a whole new set of anxieties. Becoming focused on non-dressing activities can work sometimes. I just remember that the one constant is change, and wait for opportunities. Since the first of the year, I have had two daughters at home most of the time. Now, one is working full time and the other part time, but the spouse's schedule is very light. Right now, I don't see any opportunities for me for the next month or so, but you never can tell. Here's hoping.

[Brynna M]

Internet window shopping.

[Helen_Highwater]

Judy,

I think I'm correct in saying from the pics you've posted that your dressing had been all or nothing. Makeup, wig, heels, the whole 9 yards.

So now you find yourself in the same position as many of us. At home with the SO all the time.

But in truth it's not the case. SO's will go out either to visit family, friends, go to the gym, go shopping. It may be short duration, an hour or two but if you're prepared to be content with 5 yards not the whole 9 then you can slip on a dress and heels, possibly a wig too and just enjoy what I refer to in my diary as PF time, partially femme.

An hour with forms on, skirt and top, heels and wig can be a great safety valve. Have your drab stuff to hand, just in case of an early return but with a bit of planning I'm sure the saying, "Where there's a will, (no, not a dead person) there's a way", you can find sort time to dress albeit a little more reserved.

[Star01]

I am retired and in a similar situation. The desire to dress was overwhelming a couple years ago but circumstances have dampened that desire. Age and the difficulty of shopping and storing clothes discretely have further affected my desire. When I was working I had a convenient savings account at my credit union and it was easy to siphon off money. My wife does the finances and while I have my own money it?s in a joint account now. I know I could setup an account if I wanted but it is more like a combination of obstacles that when all combined make it very difficult to dress.

At this point in my life dressing still draws me in but the hassle and expense (I am frugal to a fault) makes it all very complex. Fortunately the longer I go without the less an overwhelming desire to throw caution to the wind for some dressing time has subsided. I will always be a CD but may not always be actively pursing it.

[mollymulligan]

It's very difficult! I mostly exercise and meditate, but sometimes that's not even enough. I see cute things everywhere. I will watch women's tennis and the LPGA just to see the cute outfits that the athletes get to wear. I will watch the weather girls and other news programs just for the pretty dresses the reporters are wearing. I will also catch a few bridal shows like Say Yes To The Dress and 4 Weddings. I need to find a place to dress when I get to the point where it's difficult to manage. All the best to everyone, this is very difficult to manage at times!

[Krisi]

re: "How do you cope when you have no place or time to dress!"

One part about growing up is learning to "cope" with things that don't go your way.

I find it best to think about other things and do other things when I can't dress.

[Karren H]

I throw myself into body modification mode. Reducing my midriff and increasing my bust and hips! So I will better fit into those clothes when I get the chance.

[Gilly68]

I'm staying with my dad at the moment, who knows I dress, but wouldn't appreciate Gill sitting down to watch TV of an evening with him!

So, I'm similar to everyone else...

Looking at old pictures.
Playing with faceapp.
Reading messages and replying
Chatting up online friends
Browsing eBay for bargains
Buying more things than I should, just because I love shopping for things for Gill.
Grabbing the odd couple of hours to do something girly like epilating, plucking my eyebrows or painting my toenails.

It is so frustrating when life doesn't want us to dress! But sometimes you have to prioritise things and just wait for an opportunity.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Faceapp and/or youcam makeup.

But also that one time when it was a couple months in and hopeless about it changing there was that whole 'egg cracking' deal.

[leliani]

My wife and I are in a DADT situation?have been for close to 20 years now which is really rough. But I?ve found a unique way to cope?Dolls!

I should explain a little I guess?

I?m heavily into photography?have been for almost 10 years now. A book I was reading about lighting suggested that I buy a mannequin to practice with. This led me to a company called SmartDoll. And they are SO CUTE!!! Their little clothes, dresses, outfits, bras, panties? they?re so well made and so adorable!!

I do mostly use them for photography practice but they do also help when I?m unable to dress.

[Lacey New]

This may sound weird but I will read online reviews of lingerie that I like or would like to have.

[Natalie5004]

Sorry Judy, I know the feeling.

There are some good ideas here. Can you take a road trip for a few days, solo?

I am always having something with me that reminds me of CD. Shaved legs, longish hair, trimmed brows, and I dream that I am dresses almost every night.

Does any of this apply for you?

Natalie