Had A Heart Attack

[Glenda58]

Had A heart attack 2 weeks ago. And yes I'm doing great. But that's not why I'm writing.

That night the wife went to bed early. So I wanted to put on my new dress with matching bra and panties while she was sleeping. Got dressed put on some makeup lipstick eye makeup and earrings and white saddles. No wig this time. Decided to lie down with my tablet and play so games. That's when I thought I had indigestion took a antacid. Didn't work and it got worse. decided I needed to go to the hospital. Took everything off cram it all in the night stand. Quick face wash put on some shorts and a tee. Told my wife I was going to the hospital. Once there they told I was have a heart attack. They put in 2 stents.
The next day the doctor comes in and tells me I'm lucky most people just go to sleep and do wake up.

So it got me thinking. How do you want to be found when you die?

I would have been in my dress and I think my wife would have cut it off before she call EMS.

[Suzih]

I hope you feel better and stay in good health.

[Aka_Donna]

First MI had to wait for cardiologist to arrive from city and then wife had to remove toe nail polish. Not a great idea.

Do not go to hospital by yourself, it's way too dangerous. Especially if you have another one. Call 911 and don't try to save a few bucks.
The second MI is much worst. Stents only work for 8 to 10 years. You really need med and life style changes. The LAD is called "widow maker" for a reason.

Also suggest being religious about wearing a heart rate watch all the time. It will help you tell if it's a MI or upset DI system.

First time I would be concerned about clothes. Now, after 2, who cares. Medical assist is most important, and anything else just floats away like flotsom in a flood.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Glenda :hugs:, That is sure something to Ponder, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[Kris Burton]

Mostly, I'm glad you are OK Glenda!
Gotta admit, I've never thought about that question though. I think I'd have been OK if found in a dress. Let 'em talk!

[Michelle Crossfire]

First MI had to wait for cardiologist to arrive from city and then wife had to remove toe nail polish. Not a great idea.

Do not go to hospital by yourself, it's way too dangerous. Especially if you have another one. Call 911 and don't try to save a few bucks.
The second MI is much worst. Stents only work for 8 to 10 years. You really need med and life style changes. The LAD is called "widow maker" for a reason.

Also suggest being religious about wearing a heart rate watch all the time. It will help you tell if it's a MI or upset DI system.

First time I would be concerned about clothes. Now, after 2, who cares. Medical assist is most important, and anything else just floats away like flotsom in a flood.

I concur. You should never go to hospital by yourself. Call 911 and go by squad. the paramedics have medications on the squad that can make all the difference. You get aspirin as a blood thinner, then you get nitroglycerin tablets or powder, which helps open up the blockage and allow blood to flow better. You may get brlinta, which is best described as aspirin on steroids and you can also get heparin, which is an anti coagulant. Oxygen as well helps with the increased oxygen demand on the heart during an MI. One might also get some narcotics, such as morphine or fentanyl to help with the pain. As a paramedic, i have treated a few heart attacks and time and treatment is of the essence.

[Rhonda Darling]

A second reason to call an ambulance (in addition to the risk of having another while driving yourself) is the fact that ER walk-ins must wait awhile to get their case listened to, go through the triage nurse if the ER is busy, and may get wrongly prioritized. An ambulance has lights, sirens, and a radio — highly trained EMTs, and they get priority access to the ER through their own back door. Getting treated w/in the first hour can make the difference between life and death.

Glad you’re still with us and doing ok.

[char GG]

Mod note:

Sorry about your heart attack, Glenda.

To everyone else:

Thank you for being concerned, however, Glenda was asking how you want to be found when you die? Not what happens in the ER.

Please get this thread back on track.

[Stephanie47]

I've thought about it. It comes into the same thought process as being severely injured in an automobile accident while en femme; or worse, dead. Headed off to the morgue fully made up and ready for the pine box. My wife and I sleep apart. I do sleep in a nightie and panty; sometimes a padded bra. That's not too much for my wife to cut off me if she finds me stone cold dead in the morning. Or, if I'm waiting for the EMT, to undress. When my wife is out of town and I would have the opportunity to be totally en femme at night I forego the heavy makeup and nail color for that reason.

I'm 74. But, I know of lots of guys who keeled over at an early age without any warning at all. Everyone should schedule an annual check up so there are no surprises. One of my coworkers was at a kid's birthday party and the father who was in his early 30's had a massive heart attack and died on the spot. My sister-in-laws husband did the same thing in his living room. Keeled over and my sister-in-law was a ward clerk at the time. Heavy smoker and never had a check up. Don't think you're immune...."shit happens."

[Kimberly A.]

Hi, Glenda. :) Oh my gosh, I am so glad that you're ok and I, too hope you stay in good health..... Honestly, that scares me to death. I'm not sure, but you may be older than me, (I'm 37, turning 38 later on this month) and I'm overweight, so not in the best health and from looking at your avatar pic, you're much slimmer and look to be in much better shape than me.

Anyway, going with what Char said to keep this thread on track..... When I do kick the bucket, I do not want to be found en femme, because my closest living relative is my dad and I have him down as my emergency contact.... He doesn't know that I'm a CD, so, (I know this is gonna sound a bit grim), but I wouldn't want him to have to identify my body while I'm CD'd. However, anyone can die anytime. I just went out en femme today, with it being Labor Day and all, I'm sure a lot of people were drinking and I'm sure some were DUI's, however I made it home safely. But, I could've been hit by a drunk driver and killed while en femme. Yeah, that does cross my mind and it's always a possibility.

[Aka_Donna]

A bigger question, if want to get off the MI trail, is what about all the girlly stuff that is going to be found. What's the plan for all that?

[bridget thronton]

I do not care what I am wearing when I die - my daughter knows I want to be buried in a dress and my academic robe. Hope you have a good recovery Glenda

[mbmeen12]

Glenda was asking how you want to be found when you die?

Dressed or not would not matter to me, secondly my GG knows I dress so no big deal. Get better hun!

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Glenda, Glad you are OK. That had to be scary. Interesting things to think about, I've thought about this before as I sleep with a nice nightgown all the time. My wife would remove it if I died in bad at night however I only own and wear panties so that would just have to be what it is. Hope everything goes well.

[Brandie.n]

Samething happened to me. It doesnt matter how they find me cause I would go out doing what I love.

[Mermaiden]

Before answering the death dress question I have to flip the scenario around for a moment.

My job is to take care of people with a heart attack. I?m on call and always have my phone on me for stat pages. Sometimes I am crossdressed when it goes off and so I have only a minute to get my dress, panties and bra off. Never wear make up or wig or stockings- I really have to get going right away. In case you?re wondering, I?ve never had a man with a heart attack come in crossdressed, not counting transgender woman. Not that anyone would care.

But, to the question. I have thought about my eventual death, and hope Imhave some control over it. To avoid consternation for my family I wouldn?t be crossdressed except maybe for plain panties.

[GretchenM]

Been there, done that as well. I was amazed that I was told that I had an MI. Kidney stones were much worse.

All the important people in my life know about my gender issues even though they have never seen Gretchen in her full plumage. If I die in Gretchen mode I really don't care what people think. Nobody is 100% honest about revealing their sides that might raise somebody else's eyebrows. So you die enfemme. Somewhere at home are your dresses, panties, shoes, etc. So I really don't worry about it. If the person who finds you is more concerned about how you look than the fact that you are dead perhaps needs to have a priorities overhaul.

[CharlotteCD]

I'd rather not go dressed. I may be more comfortable as Charlotte, but that is not something I would want my family to have to deal with. My death would be bad enough, and to have my family see me fully dressed for the first time would be even worse.

End of the day though I have no control over this, so if I'm dressed I just hope I look as best I can. Would be awful to look like male me but with a shitty wig and non matching outfit.

[Leslie Mary S]

I have never even thought about what I had on in relation to an unexpected medical need. Maybe I should, I now have 4 stints. two went in last November. I guess i have been lucky. . I type this as I sit here dressed. It makes me wonder if I should go on my cruses in Oct. 8 nights full immersion in fem attire. Plus the three days driving to port and 3 days getting home, all while dressed (15 days total). Glenda thanks, your event gives me some stiff things to think about, I will be 78 when I make the trip.

[Natalie5004]

If I die like that I want to be in FULL GLORY.

[Joyce Swindell]

Find me dead.... I'm sure how am found is of no concern for me. I'm also certain my wife would also cut it off if she felt the need to.

Back on track for me. Besides, all the medical abbreviations was confusing me.
:)

[candykowal]

Had A heart attack 2 weeks ago......
So it got me thinking. How do you want to be found when you die?
Good to see you are still with us Glenda!!!!
Well, I know this is a bit of a morbid question but it is part of what happens....no stopping the inevitable.
I thought about this in great detail and came to the conclusion, I want to be found fully presenting as Candice Coleen Kowal.
I have a letter in my personal papers my wife will be going thru first with her name on it with your eyes only, in case of death.
The letter explains everything from my past to why I have female clothes and where I hide them.
It affirms why I hide my femme side and why I want to be presented in death as a feminine person to ALL my relatives and friends.
It lists my like minded TG/CD friends and how to contact them and all my passwords and usernames to social media sites, including this one.
So you may someday, know my wife, as a future member.
I envision a 3 day open casket awake where I am in a cute sheer flowery print blouse ghosting a lacy bra in total makeup and painted nails, clinging my white pearl Catholic rosary my mother gave me for confirmation...it in my top dresser drawer.
Having my relatives interacting with my local girl friends and learning of my exploits and confirming my Mothers influence with all of it.
I know that is a big leap and will possibly never happen as it might embarrass too many close family members, but to rest in my very girly best... :battingeyelashes: , considering I feel so heavenly when presenting as Candice, would be so appropriate. :o
Still hoping the DADT relationship with my wife will end and I can come out to her when she retires. As it is now, I dress almost everyday she is working and to stop all that, when she retires... might be too much. Or NOT! ....that dream of a pink casket, might come true. :daydreaming:

[Kelly DeWinter]

Oh My Glenda ! Glad you are being well cared for.

Now this I have thought about extensively, Yes I would want to meet the next life dressed to the 9's. If I could figure out how to have a professional makeup artist do my final makeup session , I'd defiantly do it. Hair, Makeup, Forms Hips and Heels and my favorite Red Dress. I'd also have a wake with all of my friends family and associates. It would be a grand send off. One can always dream.

Kelly

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Glenda, I'm sorry to hear this alarming news. I hope you stay well in future.

As for your question, although Lori is a part of me, my primary identity is male, and that's how nearly everyone knows me. So as much as I enjoy dressing, unlike some here I intend, and expect, to be buried in a suit and tie, and not in a dress. And under the name of Larry, not Lori.

But how I might be found is another question, certainly one that has crossed my mind before. If anyone's thinking of the phrase "I wouldn't be seen dead in that dress," be careful, because they might be!

Who would be likely to find me in a dress? For myself, the chance of it being some stranger seems pretty remote. It's most likely to happen inside my own home. I've never thought to ask my wife what she would do if she found me that way. It seemed an awkward question, and any wife might be at a loss for how to answer it. But I suppose when they take you to a funeral home, clothing is removed anyway, and families are asked what clothing the deceased should be buried in. So it makes little difference what we're wearing when we're found.


All of this left me with a question of my own:


The LAD is called "widow maker" for a reason.

Also suggest being religious about wearing a heart rate watch all the time. It will help you tell if it's a MI or upset DI system.

I'm afraid all the acronyms above were new to me. "MI" was easy enough to guess, but I had to go to Acronym Finder for "LAD." That still left me scratching my head over "DI." I always thought it stood for "Detective Inspector." How to tell when you're having an MI and not just "Dreadful Indigestion"? And as far as I know, a "DI system" is a De-Ionizing device for purifying water by reverse osmosis. I don't think that's what we're discussing here. So if anyone can explain "DI," I'll be grateful.

[Cheryl T]

If I'm found dead it won't matter to me how I'm found, I'll be dead.

[Mermaiden]

Lori Ann,
DI was likely meant to be GI for Gastrointestinal- reflux or heartburn.
LAD is left anterior descending. Of the three coronary arteries it supplies the largest portion of the left ventricle- the main pumping chamber. A heart attack in the beginning of the LAD causes a lot of damage to the left ventricle leading to the name widow maker.

[Aka_Donna]

Yes, DI was private abbrev, sorry. Just shorthand for digestive system. MI is doctor's jargon for heart attack. LAD is left anterior descending artery and that is the one that usually gets plugged and stents are needed.

From experience, drugs and some diet is not enough, so follow medical guidance for best recovery and especially at least 3x weekly of 20 min to 30 minutes of exercise. More than that does not provide cardio recovery, but watch heart rate carefully the first months, they will probably say exercise only to 100 to 110 BPM. [beats per minute]

If you have a treadmill at home, you could put on a swing skirt and make the "workout" more fun. :daydreaming:

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Thanks for the explanations, folks! "Myocardial infarction" was easy to guess, but I don't know the anatomy of the cardiac arteries, so "LAD" was unknown to me. My problem is with my eyes, not my heart, so I can talk about "IOP" and stuff like that, but that didn't help. My wife and I once skied a slope in New Hampshire called the "Widowmaker," but that didn't help either, since it had nothing to do with cardiology. And of course, I couldn't hope to guess a "private" abbreviation. So thanks for the advice, and I wish everyone good health for the future!

[Britney Summers]

I hope it is in a pretty princess dress, which I don't have yet. I have ventricular tachycardia, leaky valves, so I could just suddenly go in to cardiac arrest. We sleep seperately and she doesn't know that I wear skirts and long slips when I go to bed. My first thought is what do I care if its my time.

[CharlotteCD]

I can't believe how many responses have essentially been "I'll be dead so I don't care", especially from those whose partners do not know.

Life carries on for your family and friends, and you'll never be able to explain this side of you. You'll have left behind a wife who will be questioning if you were gay, if you wanted to be a woman, if you did this all the time, if you ever loved them at all.

I can't believe how selfish people are to simply say it's my turn, who cares about the turmoil I leave behind.

[Stephanie47]

There is something I can agree with Charlotte. I think it is one thing for a wife who has never realized her husband was a cross dresser to be found dead totally en femme, and, another thing if his cross dressing was a bone of contention with her for all their marriage. She could play the sympathy card and sit on the pity pot. "Whoa is me! I never knew!" What happens if she is called to the morgue to identify the body? I saw a murder movie a long time ago where people ran around frantically scrubbing down the deceased guy of his makeup and ripping his clothes off. I think some women consider cross dressing to be so bad that it reflects upon her. So, I can imagine some wife removing makeup and nail polish off the deceased husband before calling the coroner. Ah, the Perils of Pauline can be many.

I do run things through my mind. If I predecease my wife I would expect her to get rid of my stuff when she stumbles upon it. It's all in plain site. On the other hand, if she predeceases me that's going to be a can of worms. Since my wife and I wear the same size I could preen my wardrobe down, but.........those size 13 four inch heels? Na! That's not going to fly.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I can't believe how many responses have essentially been "I'll be dead so I don't care", especially from those whose partners do not know.

Well, partners who do know, even if it's a DADT, can presumably take care of matters well enough. That leaves the others who had no idea at all. Unfortunately I don't know what percentage of these there are.


Life carries on for your family and friends, and you'll never be able to explain this side of you. You'll have left behind a wife who will be questioning if you were gay, if you wanted to be a woman, if you did this all the time, if you ever loved them at all.

The crossdresser whose wife never knew is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Is it worth telling a wife so late in life, and possibly risk blowing up a lifelong marriage at a time when elderly couples need to stay together to take care of one another? One way or another there's going to be a shock, either before or after death. In any case, even if the husband is not discovered dead and dressed, there's still that cache of girly things to be discovered, as SirDonna mentioned. How to explain those?

Perhaps one solution is to leave a letter somewhere, "To be opened after my death," with an apology and an explanation. With a lawyer, or in that stash of clothing? "No, I'm not gay, etc." Though it's really wives and others who sorely need to be educated on these points, society-wide.

However, I sincerely hope the question "Did I ever love you at all?" should not need to be answered. That should have been demonstrated by the husband's good behavior toward his wife (and others) during his lifetime!

[SaraLin]

Anybody that I care enough to worry about how they will feel when I'm gone - already knows about me.

What I worry about more is getting so old that I have to go into a nursing home. How will I manage to dress then?
I also worry that I might be suffering from dementia, and start demanding my dresses and such.
How will staff / surviving family deal with THAT?

[CharlotteCD]

I also worry that I might be suffering from dementia, and start demanding my dresses and such.

I've just had a flashback. In his later years, and as dementia started, my grandad was wearing a dress when we visited once. Apparently it was because wearing trousers was too restrictive on his catheter.

You've got me wondering now though!

[SaraLin]

You never know, right?
But yes, any form of skirt is MUCH better if you're stuck with a catheter. I had to wear one once after surgery. (The thing was as big around as a straw!) I just kept a nightie on until I went back to the Dr. to have it removed.
Not fun, but it did give me an excuse to stay (un)dressed all day. A mixed blessing at best.

[Glenda58]

I would have called EMS but we have a volunteer fire dept. and I was at the hospital before they would have gotten to station. Anyway I'm fine now The wife's not home for 3 days giving me time to dress.
And she will toss everything I have when I'm gone.

[Dutchess]

Thank you Charlotte !! Thank you so much for saying this .

I have BEEN a survivor left in a bad position due to this sort of situation .My fiance' was found in a purple thong and that was it and I tell you his MOM told everyone at the funeral and it was horrific.. It was NONE of their business and OMG he would have been so unhappy at all that talking .
I think about this all the time , I wanted to defend him and I couldn't . I didn't know most of those people and they were VERY straight , I have cried many times over this . I was crushed .. it was like he was just stripped .
He did have to go to the M.E. like that . This is not a joke at all . I was beyond devastated just totally inconsolable . NO one is going to play any kind of card at a time like that .

And I KNEW all about him... I cannot imagine the devastation if I had known nothing . That would be cruelty on another level...
I know most will just pass over my post but still I hope someone sees this and knows how much pain and sadness this has caused me . People should care about whats left behind .

And no if you are in that bad of an emergency I doubt if your wives will be thinking about valiantly cutting anything off of you , she may be screaming into the phone for help and hoping help gets there in time or if she finds you that way just no . just no .

[kimdl93]

A friend of mine worked in EMS for 20 years. He shared some of the more unusual calls. Believe me, they would not bat an eye when responding to a cross dressed patient. That is tame stuff compared to what they sometimes encounter.

I cannot imagine why a mother would go out of her way to ridicule her own son at his funeral. Rest assured the reputation sullied by such comments was her own.

[Natalie5004]

I can't believe how many responses have essentially been "I'll be dead so I don't care", especially from those whose partners do not know.

Life carries on for your family and friends, and you'll never be able to explain this side of you. You'll have left behind a wife who will be questioning if you were gay, if you wanted to be a woman, if you did this all the time, if you ever loved them at all.

I can't believe how selfish people are to simply say it's my turn, who cares about the turmoil I leave behind.

Charlotte, That might be your situation but in my life and family I would not get that reaction.

My wife knows I dress. My sister knows I dress. My family knows that I am the one that is "outside the box" and will try and do anything. Trust me, Nobody will be shocked or in turmoil.

I bet they all would have a huge laugh and say that (male name here) was a total nut but he lived a great life to the end.

Thank you, Natalie

[Maria 60]

I'm happy to hear your feeling better and hope you stay healthy.
I do like going to sleep wearing full slips at times and now with our age creeping up on us my wife has commented more then once about if some medical problem should happen in the middle of the night. Her concern mostly is the time we loss undressing me could be life saving. I told her to leave me alone and don't go crazy trying to take off clothes I don't care how they find me as long as I could be saved. If I do pass I told her not to forget to put pantyhose and panties with the clothes I will be put to rest in.
Hope you feel better soon

[kimmy p]

First of all, glad you survived. Secondly, get better. Lastly, remember that the clothes you die in are your ghost clothes for eternity. So make sure you love your outfits and your make-up is immaculate!

[Leslie Mary S]

Kimmy, doesn't a person became a ghost only when they have unfinished business on earth?

[Sallee]

getting old sucks dyeing sucks worse. Hospitals and doctors don't care how your dressed. GO to the hospital if the need arises If your having a heart attack they will take your bra off and your falsies they don't care and I'll bet have seen it all. Off course if it was me I would be scrambling to get changed as I drove down the road. Not smart I know but thats our curse.

[Britney Summers]

Wow, some horrific stories. It does make sense to leave a note in a stash, which would be easily found.

[alwayshave]

Glenda, I'm glad you're doing well. I have been to the ER and had to strip down to lace panties, it happens.

[Julie MA]

I have often thought how I would not like to die dressed. Car wreck, etc. I would not want my wife to have to know about, or see that, given that she doesn't want to see me alive dressed. I don't want that to be her last image of me. All that said, I intend to do a full purge, of everything feminine that I own before I die. I hope I can get that done before I lose my faculties, or die suddenly. I don't want her, or my kids to have to see it all, and wonder and worry.

[Jane G]

Not the happiest thread i have ever read. Good to hear you are well. DADT is hard some times..

[Glenda58]

I have often thought how I would not like to die dressed. Car wreck, etc. I would not want my wife to have to know about, or see that, given that she doesn't want to see me alive dressed. I don't want that to be her last image of me. All that said, I intend to do a full purge, of everything feminine that I own before I die. I hope I can get that done before I lose my faculties, or die suddenly. I don't want her, or my kids to have to see it all, and wonder and worry.

If you want to purge before you die start now When your time comes it comes no stopping.

[kimmy p]

Kimmy, doesn't a person became a ghost only when they have unfinished business on earth?

I sure hope not. I have a list I want to haunt!

[Leslie Mary S]

Kimmy then you have unfinished busness, so a ghost you might become.