Halloween - suspected of being a full-time cross dresser?

[caitlyn louisa]

I've dressed up as a woman and went out to parties at Halloween lots of times. Many of these times in the company of people who don't know that I'm a cross dresser and that I have no intentions of coming out to. I think that many people have suspected that I dress up regularly as I've had lots of comments like 'you appear to have had lots of practise walking in heels', 'you seem to be an expert with makeup', 'do you keep your whole body shaved all the time', 'you look like you are very comfortable dressed up like that', etc, etc. Has anyone had any similar experiences at Halloween?

[CharlotteCD]

If you've done it "lots of times" then yes, it's a bit of a giveaway...

[kimdl93]

I have never gone out on Halloween in girl mode, but I have a couple of acquaintances that have. Even though their presentation was less than spot on, there were speculations - some made at the time, perhaps in jest, and other private speculations later on.

[MonicaPVD]

Hi Caitlyn -

This is a question that we have all wrestled with at one point or another. It brings to mind a scene from the sci-fi movie "The Matrix". A young boy dressed as a monk is trying to teach the protagonist how to bend a spoon with his thought. After no success, the boy tells the guy, "Do not try and bend the spoon, that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon." (In other words, it is all in our head). Now, back to reality. We can consume a lot of energy and emotion in worrying about what others will think when they see us all dressed up at a Halloween party or we can "realize the truth": What they think won't matter by the next morning because it was just a passing, inconsequential thought. No one ever is sitting at the kitchen table on the morning of November 1 saying, "honey, remember Mike from accounting? Yeah, he's a crossdresser."

So just have fun and enjoy yourself.

[char GG]

One thing you might try is going out on Halloween in a woman's Halloween costume. There is a huge variety to choose from.

[Debra Russell]

....as long as you are cleanly shaved with perfect hair and makeup :heehee:

[Stephanie47]

I don't necessarily think everyone treats it as an "inconsequential thought." For some it almost becomes their mission in life to somehow uncover the truth. In the office I worked there were some women who endlessly discussed whether so-and-so was gay. There was one guy who looked like the Marlboro Man. It irritated the crap out of two women who constantly speculated. The rest of us thought, "Who cares?" Then he showed up at the office Christmas party with his boy friend. With confirmation he was gay the women finally shut up. It was the same with another guy.

I have found whenever a guy knows too much about things in a "woman's domain" speculation arises. In general men are suppose to know all about car engines and sports; not women's "stuff." You could jest back that you had to do a lot of Youtube watching and do a lot of practicing rather than some ruse that you had help from a mythical cousin or girl friend.

Char's idea is a good one, especially if you go as an ugly witch. But, I'd suspect the same people would question "Why a woman's costume? Again!!!" Just have fun. Maybe, you'll attract an interested female.

[BlueTempest]

I have had eyebrows raised at me when I comment on GG's clothing or take part in conversation. Yes, I know what a peplum hem is, that red soled heels are often high end and I'm now learning what good makeup looks like.
My go to response in the past has been "well, boys often stare at girls, didn't you pick up some of the lingo too?". Now, I just shrug, ladies fashion is a hobby/interest of mine, so what.

[MonicaPVD]

Stephanie, unless office gossip poses a threat to your livelihood, it is entirely inconsequential. People have been talking behind each other's backs since the Stone Age. It's what we do best!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think that you get one free pass, as long as your presentation isn't too good.

Dress as a woman a second time and you're automatically clocked.

Think about Matt Lauer "crossdressed" three times on national TV.

Think about Joe Namath in Hanes pantihose. Is he or isn't he? And it was just once.

[kimmy p]

Probably. Don't care.

[Raychel]

I did dress as an old woman for Halloween one year.
I will say there was questions about how good I could walk in high heels. :heehee:

[docrobbysherry]

I've had countless years experience with this! Here's my rule of thumb at Halloween:

If I'm going to a Halloween party with friends who know me but don't know about Sherry and I don't want them to? I don't wear woman's costume!:thumbsdn:

If I'm going to a party of strangers who don't know who I am or that I CD and could care less? I dress in the sexiest woman's costume I can find!:battingeyelashes:

[Krisi]

If you can be sure that you're among strangers, you can dress as a woman and although people will figure out that you are actually a crossdresser, it won't matter. Places like a bar that you don't normally go to or a public or commercial event like a festival or concert.

If you're among family, friends or co-workers, they will figure out pretty quickly that you don't just dress as a woman once each year. Non-crossdressers wouldn't own a nice wig, an expensive pair of breast forms, hip and butt padding and women's shoes that fir.

[gwencd158]

I would love to dress for Halloween. I’d be a dead give-away — unless you went as something outlandish like a man in drag hooters girl. I’d be a Dead give-away.. You walk good in those heels, you shaved your legs and chest? You do very good make-up, that’s a nice realistic wig, French manicure nails? Are you wearing panties and a bra? You seem very comfortable dressed like that. Where did you get those size 12 boots? Leggings and a cowl necked sweater?

[Stephanie47]

Monica, you have to define "inconsequential." Whether one's job in threatened or not, to be the constant target of gossip and speculation about anything has a psychological toll on any person. I don't know how thick a person's skin has to be before it becomes an issue. Work place violence in the making? Hostile work environment?

[cosmolovesph]

Honestly, if you are willing to dress to go out - expect some to feel/judge and that is ON THEM... you do you... Now if you are afraid of the outcome (work, family, neighbors) than rethink it and maybe go out of town and dress!

[NancySue]

I?ve dressed for Halloween, usually as a witch, bag lady, etc. However, An organization I belong to had a fund raiser dinner/vaudeville event. I was asked to be one of the chorus ?girls?. With help from my wife, not bragging, but I looked pretty good..hip pads, waist cincher, fishnets over pantyhose, etc. After the show, one of my friends did comment that I looked like I was enjoying my self ?way too much?..which I did. Little did he know? He was right.

[Genifer Teal]

I met a great friend on Halloween. She said she knew right away this wasn't a one time thing for me and that I was cool and she wanted to get to know me. Where we met was 30 min from home. As it turns out we are close neighbors. Still friends many years later.

[AllieBellema]

I've dressed up for a local party for years and always in an elaborate princess or southern belle dress. This year is going to be the same thing. My friends know that I'm cross dressing and they expect it of me every year. So does the hosts of the party and those that go every year that see me. I do show that I'm enjoying myself being dressed up like that and they expect that of me!

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't think is a good idea to go as a female character EVERY year----skip two or three years in between and dress as something else. Then it will not be "suspicious".

[susan jackson]

But do you deny it or confirm it?

[Taylor186]

I don't think is a good idea to go as a female character EVERY year----skip two or three years in between and dress as something else. Then it will not be "suspicious".

My experience was that it took only one time, at a party that included friends and coworkers, to cause them all to be suspicious. Co-workers who weren't even there, but heard about it, were suspicious. This got back to me in various indirect ways, but I was never directly confronted.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I told the people at the party that I deliberately wanted to do something DRASTIC to inspire more people dressing up---as the previous years especially the year before costuming was dropping off.----The next year I did a dead on
MARK TWAIN and turnout was so great I actually lost first prize to a 80 year old "Pregnant Nun". SO I was successful. Perhaps you need a VALID reason to dress to allay suspicion. (even IF you are careful about spacing female costumes)

[Alexis00]

Listening to a TG podcast and they made a good point. If you dress up as a ?girl? tongues will wag. If you dress up as a specific girl - superhero, TV or movie actress, etc. - that?s a more believable costume. But on Halloween in Boston French Maids are everywhere! :battingeyelashes:

A friend of mine asks what size your bra is, and if you know, she assumes it is a thing.

[Jane G]

Lets face it if you can walk naturally in heals. Then it's not a one off. Every woman in the room knows that.:eek:

[JustJennifer]

Any time I've seen a guy dressed as a woman or wearing a female character costume for Halloween, I've always assumed they're into this full time. But maybe that's just projection on my part -- I'm obviously biased.

The only Halloween parties I've been to since getting back into dressing are usually tame things with family or coworkers, so I wouldn't dare show up en femme. Moreover, my pride isn't going to let me do halfhearted, thrown-together outfit, so that would definitely out me.

[Geena75]

There was a Halloween episode of the TV show "News Radio" in which the station owner challenged them to dress up. Dave Foley's character dressed up as a woman, very convincingly. The other characters commented on how good he looked, but never suggested it was a lifestyle. Of course, it was just a TV show. (But that episode brought the pink fog down on me big time.)

[MonicaPVD]

This year for Halloween I have been invited to two parties where co-workers will be present. I am going to one as President Biden and to the other, much larger event, completely dressed as Monica with a minidress, hose, ridiculous tall heels, full makeup and breastplate. The plan is to preemptively raise eyebrows and kind of force my own hand into being more open about who I am.

[Leslie Langford]

There was a Halloween episode of the TV show "News Radio" in which the station owner challenged them to dress up. Dave Foley's character dressed up as a woman, very convincingly. The other characters commented on how good he looked, but never suggested it was a lifestyle. Of course, it was just a TV show. (But that episode brought the pink fog down on me big time.)

The best part was when his girlfriend kept looking him with a mixture of incredulity, awe and annoyance while exclaiming repeatedly "He's wearing my dress!!!"

[Alexis00]

As they say in “Clueless” - “Nice stems.”

[ellbee]

One thing you might try is going out on Halloween in a woman's Halloween costume. There is a huge variety to choose from.

Yep, I've never understood the "I'm going as a woman" costume... Unless it's an obvious "joke" (big fat hairy guy with a bushy beard, really bad wig, gigantic boobs, etc.).

But, people can do whatever? :strugglin


Personally, when I used to do Halloween, I've always dressed up as a woman -- dressed in a Halloween costume.

And it's really easy to put together your own, using some things you may already have. Maybe grab a few accessories (e.g., witch hat, cat ears, etc.), and you're done! :battingeyelashes:

[Leslie Mary S]

I guess I am lucky. I will never pass as a woman. I just dress how I want when I feel like it.

[jessica33]

This year for Halloween I have been invited to two parties where co-workers will be present. I am going to one as President Biden and to the other, much larger event, completely dressed as Monica with a minidress, hose, ridiculous tall heels, full makeup and breastplate. The plan is to preemptively raise eyebrows and kind of force my own hand into being more open about who I am.

That sounds great . Does it means you will go to the office as Monica from now on .

[fun4metoo2004]

I did it one Halloween, and I have been out several times since. I really don't care what the people that know med think. I am having fun and enjoying myself. If the have a problem with it that is on them.

I get a full body wax often enough that my hair is not growing back that much. Full face wax every 4 weeks (blonde hair so laser is out). I feel I am very comfortable when I go out dressed. I could do a little better on the makeup, but I have received compliments for makeup and hair.

thanks,

[MartineCD]

I'm about to test this very premise. While I have left the house dressed, it has only ever been to drive around a different town. So far I have only been dressed in female attire on one occasion in the company of others which was at a Eurovision Song Contest party. We were all given a country at random and asked to come dressed to represent that country. I have a feeling the organiser had rigged the draw as I was given Isreal. They expected me to play it safe but I shocked everyone by going as Dana International. I was given help as I had no experience with makeup at the time.

This year for the first time since then I am getting my femme on and dressing for Halloween as a glam goth witch. I expect to get some stares and questons about my makeup and ability to walk in heels. Let them ask away. I don't owe them any answers.

I can't wait. I intend to put a spell on eveyone.

Martine xx

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I did one Halloween in a women's costume, complete with wig, stockings, and heels, but no makeup! Several asked me if I had shaved my legs, my answer was "if you're going to do it, do it right."
Still, I looked like a guy in a woman's costume, and it was a blast.

[DanielleDubois]

The crossdressers's national holiday is fast approaching and this question about whether people will be suspicious about you if you show up to a party en femme comes up every year. In my opinion if you show up looking like you put the effort into your presentation like everyone here does the answer is an obvious yes. The shaved legs, arms, and shaved chest to show cleavage, the a little too perfect makeup, the being too good at wearing heels, and all the other details are going to be hard to ignore.

Much as I would love to show up to a Halloween party or fancy dress party ( which is much more popular than Halloween down under) wearing outfits like I show in the Photos section I think people would have no doubt figuring out I was just a little too good and comfortable with all of this. I'm not even sure if wearing a woman's costume would make it less suspicious.

Even if the fancy dress party theme was come as the opposite sex it would be a dead giveaway if you show looking like you have boobs created with a breastplate. No exactly something you go into the local Target or costume store to buy.:)

I did dress up for a Halloween party we hosted a millennium ago and no one ever mentioned anything but I was trying to hide a moustache with nose putty and makeup ( yuk!) and didn't shave my legs or chest. Plus my makeup skills were not very good so as far as I know people weren't suspicious. It was even the days before my wife knew the real truth about Danielle and she never mentioned anything at the time. However, a couple of years ago we were talking about the party and my wife said I did look just a little too relaxed wearing a dress sitting on the couch with my legs crossed like a woman.

[MonicaPVD]

That sounds great . Does it means you will go to the office as Monica from now on .

Jessica, That's not something I'm prepared to do yet. One step at a time!

[DTelia]

There are people who are never questioned, because of one thing…. CONFIDENCE.

I’m a confident person, but I wouldn’t be confident dressed on Halloween in public, and people would see right thru it. If you can own it - not go crazy over the top, but have fun…people will laugh, some may suspect (but more in a positive way - and it may even attract some because of your boldness and confidence)…do this and no one will care, and the ones that do, will be ignored.

My wife loves my confidence…she’s attracted to it. And honestly, the only thing she doesn’t like about when I get dressed is that I lose it…and that annoys her. I shut down, don’t tease, flirt, etc. I’m too aware of self and insecure.

[MarinaTwelve200]

AS I have mentioned it here once, I have attended a Halloween Party ONCE disguised as a Female (Gypsy Fortune teller) I may have very well LOOKED the part, but to paraphrase another poster on another post, "You not only have to LOOK like a duck, but talk and walk like a duck also"-----Since I only LOOKED the part, but did not or COULD NOT fulfill the other two conditions, I did not fear I would be thought of as a real "Crossdresser". ----- I was obviously NOT trying to be taken for a female, ( and I really think I could not make myself try) It was obvious to myself and others that I would NOT make a very good "Female impersonator".-----Looks, no matter how good are not enough.

[Billie]

The Halloween before COVID we had an office costume contest, I dressed up as a witch. Didn't fuss too much with the make-up, wig was cheap, I did use breast forms, but they were small and acrylic nails. It was all in fun and I did win the vote for best costume. No one questioned it, or said anything if they did. BUT I did keep the acrylic nails and have had them every since, except for a couple weeks while nail salons were closed but it didn't last long in Texas. That I am sure has raised eyebrows, but didn't care and I've been working from home since March 2020.

My wife and I were the only two to dress up for a small party last week. She went as a dark fairy and I the witch again. All in fun.

[Bobbi46]

I went to a Haloween party many years ago and before i began to explore my true self, I inflated a couple baloons probably a double ff size, black tee shirt, cycling leggings and a black bin bag for a mini skirt, complete with a broom stick, I won first prise!!!

[Alexis00]

The second or third year you come to your friends Halloween party dressed as a girl, you get a lot of “knowing glances.”

:)

[char GG]

We usually go to public parties in the big city close to use. They are put on by hotels or nightclubs so no one really knows who we are so it doesn't matter if we go every year. I never remember who is there from year to year, there are probably over 200 people there.

If you go to a private party where everyone knows who you are, then someone may suspect if you always dress as a woman.

[joan47]

I live in a gated 55+ community that has a yearly Halloween party with a couple of hundred people. The first year I went as little miss Virginia, complete with a pink little girls party dress, petticoats, ruffled panties, pantyhose, wig, full makeup, thin arched eyebrows, Mary Janes. The ladies loved my outfit and kept lifting my skirt and couldn?t believe that I was wearing little girls panties and had shaved my legs, one lady happened to notice that underneath my ruffled panties which were on the top of the pantyhose, I was actually wearing pink high cut satin panties. Everything worked out fine and I won third place in costume contest.

The next year I cam as a French maid with a very low cut neck line which let me show off the B size boobs that I can create with the right bra
Of course I had the traditional costume with short helpline and petticoats, fishnets and heels. This year I felt that people were a little more standoffish. I guess they were beginning to figure it out.

The next year I came as little miss muffin, with a yellow and white checked dress that came to mid thigh, of course with petticoats, ruffled panties, pantyhose, heels and shaved legs. Now they were really getting stanoffish, I was pushing it pretty strong. Then the unexpected happen, there was another guy dressed in the exact same dress as me, well, I talked with him and he and his wife sat with me for dinner. I am pretty sure he was a cross dresser since his eyebrows were very thin and arched and he had shaved his legs. When his wife went to the bathroom I told him I was a cross dresser and he confirmed that he indeed was one to. To this day we?re best of girl friends and visit him often en femme with his wife present, we were even talking about starting a male maid service but that has not gotten too far.

[stefaniec]

I agree with others who have said that it comes down to frequency, effort, and type of costume. Sure, just dressing up in fem mode meets the criteria of a "costume" but if you're not going for humor/irony, then people will definitely suspect you dress up like that on days that are not halloween. If you crossdress every year for halloween, same thing. Finally, its a bit of a tell if you really make an effort to pass. Most of the time when I've seen men in women's costumes in the past, they typically forego shaving body or even facial hair, skip makeup or do an intentionally bad/incomplete job of it, and avoid heels more than an inch or two.

I understand offering up the excuse of "if you're going to do it, go all out/do it right" to try and cover up why you're dressed to the nines, but I think most people would see through that.

I don't think any of this should stop you from dressing up, when I've dressed up on halloween personally, my goal was always to look better than the real women out there anyway. I dont really care if anyone suspected it wasnt my first time in pantyhose and high heels.

[MartineCD]

Well... Martine the Witch/Wicked Queen went down an absolute storm. Despite comments from a beautician tharvthe 'press on' nails and false eye lashes were very well done, no-one passed any other comment on how well I managed walking in heels or anything. In fact I got a bigger welcome/acceptance as Martine than I ever had as drab me.

Happy Halloween

Martine xx

P.S. totally forgot to mention that I was addressed by a quite drunk aquaintance by my avatar name completely at random. No-one but the people on this site know my by this name.

Good night everyone.

XX

[Monique65]

Reading this thread brought back fond memories of my first and only time out in public dressed en femme. I was in my mid teens and told my mother that I wanted to attend a Halloween activity in another town dressed as a girl. She gave me a skirt and blouse and tied a pretty scarf around my head. I wore my sister’s Bobby socks and tennis shoes. What she didn’t know was I had borrowed a pair of my sister’s panties and a bra in order to feel complete.

She dropped me off at the event, and I spent several glorious hours roaming around feeling very feminine. I wasn’t worried about seeing anyone I knew, just enjoying the chance to explore my surroundings. At the end of the evening, she picked me up and I had to relinquish my attire, but the feeling remained. Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to repeat it, and it has become one of my treasured memories.

[Kitty Sue]

I think the difference between non CDs dressing and CDs is that we who are crossdressers put a lot more time and effort into into appearing fem. We often try to be more than just a man in a skirt which is how a lot of non CDs look when they put on a dress at Halloween.

[MartineCD]

Hi Monique

That is a touching memory. You described it beautifully.

Hi Kitty Sue

I think you have cut right to the heart of it.

Martine x

[Jessica_NZ]

Reading through the comments I just had to share.

Threw a Halloween party weekend just gone, decided to dress as a french maid. Went to town with it, head to toe - as you do. Now most of the people I invited had seen me dressed before & were aware this was something I did occasionally. But, there were a few who did not know. Most of the comments mentioned below were said - you walk too well in heels, your makeup is very well done, you have gone to alot of effort etc. The clincher was how 'delicately' I kept moving my wig hair away from my face - dead giveaway evidently. Not that I was worried, I just owned it and carried on. They were really cool about it. I did also post a photo or two on social media - and have since had two different people say they have been asked by others if i'm a crossdresser haha I'm only out to small selection of people & have never been out in public - but maybe one day.

But I agree that I think it all comes down to confidence - if you get pulled up on it - it's how you react - or don't react- that can make the biggest difference. If you're that worried about being outed then don't go to too much effort.

[Monique65]

[QUOTE=MartineCD;4547758]Hi Monique

That is a touching memory. You described it beautifully.


Thank you, Martine. It’s the first time in fifty years I’ve ever revealed it.

[Alice_2014_B]

That is a lot in one question, but very thorough.

I have dressed up completely to do stand-up, Rocky Horror Shows, and rarely to just go out.
It is kind of funny since I will do stand-up in front of a number of strangers but only invite a select-few friends to actually see it.

Just this past Sunday (Halloween) at a local theatre several people, mainly women, asked how I learned to walk in six inch heels so well.
You can read about it here:

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?275869-Clue-s-Mrs-White-for-Halloween-2021!

Granted said heels have a platform, I simply reply that I have gone to a lot of Rocky Horror Shows in heels just as high.
Though it is a factual response, I do also relax in heels almost every morning after work with some beers, smokes, and poker online.

I never get questions on makeup or body-shaving, which is no big deal.

:)

[Beverley Sims]

When I was single and went to parties I got all these questions and support from others that thought I looked great in my outfits.

I had been a girl for about ten years before the regular parties.

I had girlfriends as well and they liked being with Beverley, the alter ego was not as attractive or exciting.

[Ashlee]

i dressed once for a halloween party. I had a Jamie Austin makeover so I was looking good. I shaved my legs, had a short skirt, v neck blouse, false boobs, wore panties...It went fine, I've never done it since, haven't heard anything negative come of it and I wish I didn't do it. THis was 2007. I have a few pics but...so do others.

[jjjjohanne]

I used to work in a large office with lots of people with different skills. One of the sales reps dressed in a "female" costume. He had long guy hair. He wasn't very feminine in his presentation. There was no reason to assume anything. The next year, he was Sheera, Princess Warrior, or something like that. Again, only slightly feminine, with the skirt. I always wondered if it was more than a Halloween thing with him. However, I never approached him. I did not relate to him in lots of ways.
Another year, I dressed in a dress, heels, and a wig for Halloween. I asked my wife to do my makeup, and she said, "No." So, I did my own makeup. It was simple, but sufficiently good. We went next door to show our friends in the next apartment. She asked, what I believe was a test question, "Who did your makeup?" When I said, "Me," she glanced at her husband. (My wife was not in a costume.)
Once upon a time, a guy could crossdress and people would think, "He cannot be a crossdresser, because he is married." These days, I believe people are more aware of the truth.
I will add one more thing: If you wear a dress on Halloween, someone *might* think you are a crossdresser. Do it any other day, they are significantly more likely to think you are one!!

Joey

[Blonde617]

Back when I was young and single (in other words, a long long time ago!), went to a Halloween party en femme. The host's wife took one look at me and said, "Bet you've done this before."

Traffic lights aren't as red as my face was!

She still has pictures.

[Kitty Sue]

I think we are often readable than we realize. Sometimes due to our clothing and sometimes due to our mannerisms. I remember buying women's clothing in Walmart years ago and the cashier smiled at me and said "have fun."

[KristyPa]

There is a guy I talk with regularly at work that dressed at work for a retirement party to tease the guy retiring. From the time on i suspect hes a regular dresser like I am.

[Violetgray]

One of my fellow standup comics does this joke:

"So my cousin recently came out as a crossdresser. But we knew because every year for Halloween he would go as a woman and his costume got better and better. Heck, I took him to my prom!"

[Leslie Mary S]

I think the difference between non CDs dressing and CDs is that we who are crossdressers put a lot more time and effort into into appearing fem. We often try to be more than just a man in a skirt which is how a lot of non CDs look when they put on a dress at Halloween.

Unfortunately some of us just don't have a body like yours that can be totally transformed, but we try.
I dress because I like the softness feel of woman's attire and not the coarseness of male clothes. Yes I do wear forms - to fill out the clothes.
I wear some makeup to make ME happier and look a little bit more fem.

[Sabine Janus]

to the other, much larger event, completely dressed as Monica with a minidress, hose, ridiculous tall heels, full makeup and breastplate. The plan is to preemptively raise eyebrows and kind of force my own hand into being more open about who I am.

How did it go?