Give them space and who knows?

[Maria 60]

A few years ago my wife got into a car accident, I stepped up and took over the household chores. She's been feeling better lately and wants to push herself back to normal. She started doing laundry again and a few weeks ago her first question was how long haven't I been wearing male underwear?
Then I noticed she wouldn't wash my fem stuff with hers and even keep it separate once folded and put my fem stuff in the closet out of site. I started noticing last week she was washing everything together with hers and it almost felt good to me that she was accepting or being ok with my stuff and even folding with hers. I came home today from work and I went to change and to my surprise my fem stuff was laided out on the bed out in the open folded and for me to put it away.
It's amazing at times how women can just come around and accept some things, maybe if I would have mentioned why she wasn't putting our things together, maybe it would have been different.
I feel that she's comfortable with my stuff now but was alittle overwhelmed at first I guess.
I guess give them time and space and anything is possible. Thought I would share.

[Kris Burton]

I guess give them time and space and anything is possible. Thought I would share.

And so good that you have. From what I have understood, and from what I am observing from my own situation, that is an essential in hurdling this situation. Minimize sneaky, don't rush, and your chances of acceptance increase.

[Gillian Gigs]

Sometimes resistance comes from inertia. Sometimes resistance comes from a change in the status quo. Change often comes as a result of not pushing at all. Cd'ing can have both a high resistance inertia, or the spouse can have a high resistance to change. A wise person knows when to push, and/or when to apply a little grease. Grease, aka love, and attention!

You choose wisely.

[Jenn A116]

A few years ago my wife got into a car accident, I stepped up and took over the household chores. She's been feeling better lately and wants to push herself back to normal. She started doing laundry again and a few weeks ago her first question was how long haven't I been wearing male underwear?
Then I noticed she wouldn't wash my fem stuff with hers and even keep it separate once folded and put my fem stuff in the closet out of site. I started noticing last week she was washing everything together with hers and it almost felt good to me that she was accepting or being ok with my stuff and even folding with hers. I came home today from work and I went to change and to my surprise my fem stuff was laided out on the bed out in the open folded and for me to put it away.
It's amazing at times how women can just come around and accept some things, maybe if I would have mentioned why she wasn't putting our things together, maybe it would have been different.
I feel that she's comfortable with my stuff now but was alittle overwhelmed at first I guess.
I guess give them time and space and anything is possible. Thought I would share.

Sounds like its time to have a conversation with her. Something is going on. Hopefully its acceptance. Open dialog can only help.

[kimdl93]

I don’t know for sure, but maybe you’ve earned her confidence, trust, tolerance and support by virtue of being reliable, trust worthy and supportive in return. I can’t help but wonder if those are simply virtues that I lack, explaining, perhaps, why your marriage is so much more successful than mine were.

[docrobbysherry]

Reminds me of grammar school. When we worried about getting "cooties" from getting near, or touching certain, "weirdos"!:eek:

[Pumped]

I don’t know for sure, but maybe you’ve earned her confidence, trust, tolerance and support by virtue of being reliable, trust worthy and supportive in return. I can’t help but wonder if those are simply virtues that I lack, explaining, perhaps, why your marriage is so much more successful than mine were.

I believe there is a lot of truth in that statement. My wife and I went through a rough period when she found out about my CD'ing. After some time she came to realize I was the same guy she had been married to for many years and we have had a very stable marriage. We have had a few rough times over the years, money, job or family issues, but never strayed from each other. From our talks I believe she could not see destroying what had been a perfectly healthy marriage over CD'ing. The largest issue was me trying to hide it from her. The loss of trust took some time to rebuild, but with a very solid marriage it came easily.

I have said it before, but I believe a lot of CD'ers that end up with a failed marriage had other issues before their wife found out about their CD'ing.