Putting a title on it

[Maria 60]

Before dinner my wife asked if I was going for a Friday drive, I haven't gone in a few weeks and she was wondering why. I told her I'm trying to keep it in as much as I can, maybe taking those risk isn't worth it. She feels like I work hard all week and something to look forward to end the week and she feels I'm so much more relaxed when I take a drive. I asked her after all these years together how she rated my dressing?, how does she feel about it? and how does she describe what type of crossdresser I am? She said she sees it like a hobby, I don't want to present as a women and would like to enjoy it mostly in private and that's why she described me as a closet dresser. I then asked her, where does the Friday drive fit in, I'm out of the house and I'm presenting myself as a women, that's not a closet dresser. She told me it's ok to indulge once in a while, and that's why she suggested we don't tell the kids because I don't want to present myself as a women to the family so why complicate things and deal with it when or if we have to. I don't know why but when I put the Friday drive in the mix I don't consider myself a closet dresser because I'm out there. Even though I just drive around and sometimes put gas and order a coffee at a drive threw window. Would you agree with my wife and consider myself a closet dresser and how would you rate yourself.

[bridget thronton]

Only you can pick the l label that fits you best - I think the best label for me might be transgender

[Karren H]

Sounds like your more of a mobile closet dresser? Me? My wife thinks I am a pervert. Some days I feel I can not disagree with her. Other days I feel like a woman. IDK. I do not like labels.

[kimdl93]

Mobile dresser for sure. I think any label is unlikely to cover the range of possibilities, but if your wife and sister in law and those others who know of your hobby are ok with it, then its all good. We are like the finches of the Galapagos, adapting to our unique niches. Those of us who survive to ripe old age have adapted most effectively.

[Stephanie47]

I do not like single words to describe anything. I always suggest people speak in complete sentences and paragraphs. I enjoy your posts. What you are doing is within your comfort zone. You're out to your wife. I do recall posts where you have interacted with people outside the home. Just say what you do. Rebecca (#5) has hidden from everyone. Why attach a label to it? Her limitations have been expressed with total clarity. Me? My wife and I are in what has been described as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." My activities are a private affair. I feel not compelling need to express myself to my wife or others. Yes, I have gone for evening drives and strolls. The only times I have interacted with fellow humans has been on Halloween. My wife wants to remain totally devoid of any knowledge. I do not tell her of my purchases. That's her choice. I know some GG's have characterized that aspect of my relationship as "secretive." Is it "secretive" if a wife wants to know nothing? Label it anyway you want. I always envision myself called to the witness stand in a trial. If told to answer a question with a "yes" or "no" I'd refuse. Don't box me in with a one word answer. I am a complicated person.

[Genifer Teal]

In the early days I went to conventions and trans specific parties. Some would say we're out but in reality we had only expanded the closet. Those events were filed with like and supportive people. There might be a comparison to your Friday outings. You are out but are you really out?

[Sometimes Steffi]

i think I would go to an out of town CD event sometime in the future.


No time like the present to consider going to a CD event.

The Keystone Conference (https://www.keystone-conference.org/) in Harrisburg, PA is coming in March. If it interests you, you should planning now. It can't be a long drive from anywhere in NJ.

[LovelyLeesa]

I used to be more mobile and enjoyed going out dressed for drives. Now all my neighbours have security cameras and I'm paranoid even though I'm probably over thinking it. I enjoy my me time and never had any intention of "coming out" so I save it for when I am away on my own. I feel more free to do what I love then.

[docrobbysherry]

How ironic, Maria! I consider myself a closet dresser, too. Even tho I've been to countless T events in the states and dressed openly around the world and seen or met 1000's of people while dressed!:eek:

However, only my ex and daughters know I dress. I never dress near home. Not even to just, "get gas or pick up coffee." Because there's a chance of someone who knows me seeing me!:daydreaming:

So, I consider u an "out dresser'!

[GaleWarning]

There was a time when my crossdressing was confined to the early morning before K got up.
It was a means of entering the day in a relaxed frame of mind.
She was aware and kind of DADT about it, knowing it was something I NEEDED to do.
I think your Friday night drives may fulfil the same need, but only you can confirm this, Maria.

We have both moved on from there, a lot!

[DianeT]

Maria I am a pure closet dresser. Nobody, my wife included, ever saw me, and I intend to keep it that way.
Since you go out and even met a few persons of the "real" world while dressed, in my opinion you are not just a closet dresser. You clearly went few a extra miles.

[Chloe from Colorado]

Right now I would consider myself a closet, although I have expanded to the whole house! Wife will have me "over" and we will enjoy time while dressed. She has plans for us to go out to Denver or somewhere distant, so that I can be out fully dressed, maybe meet someone.. She is incredibly supportive of everything. As for a label, I consider myself a crossdresser/genderfluid. I have the male part of myself, but also a female side, and can transition back and forth, and sometimes in-between. At times I struggle, and my sife has always been there for me and is extremely supportive!

[alwayshave]

I go out crossdressed to meet ups, bars and dinner. My wife knows, but no one else among my family and friends. Am I a closeted crossdresser, maybe so.