Second chance at going out with my wife en-femme

[steffie39]

Hi girls,

This is a long post. Sorry I couldn't make it shorter.

The end result: my wife and I are going out together again (me as Steffie) for the first time in about 6 months. It will be to a far away place (Las Vegas)but first some background.

My wife has always been accepting of my crossdressing and allows me to go out to CD meetings or out with my CDing friends and for that I'm always grateful. However, one of the few times my wife tried going out with me en-femme last October (to a couple of clothing stores) did not end well in that she said she saw people staring and laughing at me. This understandably upset her and she said in the future she did not want to go out as this bothered her but I could still go out as Steffie, which I have been doing. However, I consider my wife as my best friend and it is sad not to be able to share this part of me with her. Since that time, my wife has not really seen me dressed as I always leave the house as male, change and return male. However, I have tried to dress more like most GG's as to try not to stand out. I wore some women's slacks or jeans on some occasions with boots instead of high heels.

Just last week when my wife and I were at a mall shopping for both her and me (as my male self of course), we came across this store with some expensive coats (like mink and some less expensive ones, etc.). We went in and my wife tried some on. She knew they were like realy high but she asked half kiddingly if she could get some kind of coat. I wispered to her (also half-kiddingly) that if Steffie could go out with her, then maybe I might be more inclined to get her something lke that. [grin] I expected her to say something like: Yea, right!" but to my surprise she then said that was possible. I was in a bit of shock when I heard this as I didn't expect this. I asked if she were really serious and she replied yes. Needless to say, I then started to rekindle my hopes of going out with my wife en-femme again. I then said I would just want to go out with her only once in a while (i.e. not get greedy and ask for too much at once) but not too close to home. I also didn't want just a one shot deal. She then said if it were in a place far away from NJ then it would be fine and if people would stare, it wouldn't bother her.

Well the next day or so she then comes up with the idea of going somewhere. She likes gambling but AC is too close so she then decides she wants to go to Las Vegas. She says on our departure day from NJ (April 13) I should stay male and on return trip (April 16), also stay male but she says I can be Steffie on April 14 and 15. We used some frequent flyer miles for the Easter weekend and she found a nice casino/hotel to go to. Thus I get to be Steffie in Las Vegas for 2 days! :) :) :)

I am an optimistic person and the glass is half full. I am indeed exited about this but there is still a part of me deep down overanalyzing there can still be a repeat of last October: what if someone stares and my wife sees? I know my wife thought before in October that this would be OK but when we were at the stores reasonably far from our home (about 50 miles), she couldn't handle the staring. I don't know if over 2000 miles will make any difference? Maybe I should just stay around her for a short time, hope no one stares and walk away to a safe disance and try to build on this "positive" rather than stay close too long? I also don't want to cause my wife any discomfort either (from other people staring).

I'm happy though that she gave me a second chance. I guess though there are two strikes and I have to swing away and either I'll hit a home run (uneventful weekend) or I'll strike out (people staring and my wife reacting like last October?). It'll be an adventure though and better to try than never to get a chance I guess. Very seldom does a seond chance come along. I count my blessings. Thanks for reading my long post.

Steffie

[trannie T]

Keep reminding her, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

[Michelle I]

steffie39:

Maybe this would be an ideal time to ask her for help. Maybe she could help with makeup or fashion ideas. If she is open to Steffie being out fro two days maybe she wants to help more.

Melissa

[michelle19845]

just ask yourself if there's any improvements in what you do to represent a more fem appearance?sometimes just by the direction if the stripes on a dress can make people appear differen't in visual appearance.maybe your wife can do your make up to give any tricks to be less noticeable? just some thoughts.biggest thing is don't worry and look for someone to say something.worse case scenario:if someone looks differen'tly at you just act like you don't notice it and try to appear as fem as possible.


michelle19845

[Denise01]

Congratulations Steffie, and I hope you and your wife have a very good and comfortable time.
While I am single, the first time i went out femme, was on vacation last fall. I was about 800 miles form home and also in the US.

I went out with a TS girl I know. She told me when we got back to her home, that she was watching the people around us, and she never saw any one even give a second glance that I may be a CD or TG.

The big thing i try to do, is dress to go with the crowd. Up here in the winter it is very cold, and 99% or more of the girls wear slacks, so when i go out femme that is what i wear. It has only been the last couple of weeks it has been warm enought to wear a skirt, and that I have seen girls in the malls wearing skirts.
I was out to-night fully femme, wearing a skirt, shopping and did not get even a glance that i might not be a gg. I was in a dress shop, trying on clothes, there were other people there as well, and never even had as much as a glance from them.

Be confident, act like it is the most normal thing you do is to go out femme, you will be fine and have a good time

Denise

[susiej]

Steffie,

Maybe you can find a way to make the memories of your Las Vegas trip something that your wife will cherish for a lifetime. Maybe even so great that six months from now, she suggests you go back for another longer visit!

Hmm, what could it be :p ?

Hugs,
Susie

[Kitty Sue]

I hope it works out for you both. Vegas Baby-YEAH!:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Zelda Noe]

Kitty:

Love this quote...

Save our bras and burn our UMCs(Ugly man clothes)!

UMC's...made me smile and chuckle

Dandy

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Steffie:wave2:

I see two lucky girls here...one...you, that you have your wifes blessing in being Steffie for two whole days...and...two...your wife...for being so sweet and accepting. Tell here...SHE is the woman

:yrtw:

Maybe consider having her apply your makeup for you? Take her out to a show, wine and dine her, play the slots...make it a REAL memorable weekend for her...the rest will fall into place.

Dandy:happy: ;)

[talkwithmelissa]

I wish you the best of luck Steffie. You deserve it. I would take several kinds of outfits and then dress to what others are wearing at that moment or place. I know this might hinder you freedom of expression but you are working on building your relationship between Steffie and your wife. Take the conservitive approach when in doubt. The trip is for both of you so don't forget to check in with your wife's feelings. If she starts to get uncomfortable then maybe switch to male identity for a short while. Also, while your packing or when your there don't over talk about Steffie all the time. You don't want to be so excited that you focus on you only. Either way, I would try my best to make it a memorible experience like others have said earlier.

[steffie39]

Hi again girls!

I've had a chance to reflect on this some the last couple of days, especially while at work today. I've gotten a lot of sound and wise advice from a lot of great girls from this forum (and another forum too).

I do plan on talking to my wife again. However, after we spoke about the trip last night, there are tell-tale signs for me to beware. First my wife did say that we could walk through one of the malls there but then said I should probably wear ladies sneakers (i.e. not high heels). I asked her if low heeled sandals are OK and she said yes they were. That's a sign right there that it's still in the back of her mind about people staring. I was definitely thinking along Melissa's lines about taking an extra outfit or two. Melissa is correct about that: I'll just make the decision of what to wear when I'm there (not in advance) and I'll have all kinds of outfits (where some won't be worn) to fit the environment around where I will be, especially casual clothes to blend in more. My wife also sugested having one of the makeover places there come to our room (or us go there) and making me up once which I agree with: this way I can lean more about makeup. She also says maybe I should get another wig while there, which makes sense to me too. I never tried on a wig as Steffie; so this may be a good opportunity to get a wig my wife will like on me.

Finally, although I was going to dress 2 full days, I think maybe I should spend part of the 2 days as male also. I think my wife would want my male self a little more there anyway and I'm sure there are things I can also do there as male. Thus instead of a dinner with my wife as Steffie in the evening, I think I will spend part of the day as Steffie an then go run up to the room, shower, become male and join my wife for dinner.

Crossdressing is give an take and giving back (giving my wife her husband for reasonable time) is very crucial.

I'll post about the trip after we return. Maybe I an even get my wife to take some pictures of Steffie (but I will also make sure she and her HUSBAND are also in a few lol) and I can post in the gallery. Thanks, girls for all you sage advice! It's nice to have good friends that can give you advice. :) Hugs.

Steffie