How do you keep your life balanced

[Julie Slowinski]

How do you maintain a balanced between your two sides? Here?s what I do. Interested to see if others have a different approach.

https://www.kandis-land.com/give-yourself-permission-to-be-both/

[TheHiddenMe]

Great post and great look, Julie.

I added my comment to the pile but I'll let others click over and read it there.

[Stephanie47]

One line that struck me was "remain calm and composed while suffering the indignities of a husband of 25 years and father of 2 teenage kids." When the mental break from daily reality was needed, Stephanie was there. I can list the accomplishments of life, but sometimes completing that list did have a mental toll. I think having parents and grandparents who were terrific role models for family life did have an influence of my view of being a husband and father and contributing member of society. Pressure came with that. How to get relief? Indulge in drugs or alcohol? Or step outside the marital vows? No, Stephanie was there. Stephanie did not live and especially with Covid has lived a rather ordinary life of a woman. More akin to June Cleaver when given the opportunity. When I read your story and other stories of a glamorous life of a woman I think I view it as a woman would while watching a soap opera. It's a break from the boring days of a woman.

[XemmaX]

i really liked that read. i also just have the approach of allowing myself to live out both sides. not repressing anything means that i keep balance and dont go crazy crossdresser for a prolonged period of time because i repressed it. allowing both in means i keep a good balance of both my sides. balance is about being a rounded person i guess. i also love you metalic pink skirt btw

[Sandi Beech]

Gee I see a lot of similarities in your story which is a good read by the way.

The similarities being:

Family committment comes first, so I do not burden them with my "hobby" for lack of better words.
A limited number of outings are available to me ( 6 times this year I believe)
The outings require a tremendous amount of planning to pull off (and expense)
I am exhaused after a big outing and could never do it full time
I love the attention received, and I do not dress to blend.

A portion of me does look to it as an excape from reality. The reality being that male me is boring, but "Sandi" is a heck of a lot of fun to be around.
I worry about falling into this trap: "Ok that outing was great, so how do I up my game next time." That is a tricky balance for me and sometimes it feels like
I am walking the high wire to maintain it.

Sandi

PS. love the skirt. I could use one like that.

[docrobbysherry]

My life is definitely NOT balanced! I spend entirely too much time and effort on Sherry.:straightface:

However the hectic schedule and guilt that Sherry causes me? I'm really enjoying my life now! And, not a lot of 78 y/o's can say that!:devil:

[char GG]

Glad that you are enjoying life, Doc! You definitely keep busy.:heehee:

I think that for most people, especially those who are in a relationship, the balance needs to be maintained. Too much tilt one way or another isn't the ideal way to keep the peace.

[kimdl93]

Sage observations. Honestly, my lifelong struggle has been between presenting the person I think I am obliged to be and resisting the pull to be the person I feel I am forbidden to be. I struggled with ever considering that I might be able to live comfortably with a compromise between the extremes. That internal battle has had many adverse consequences.

These days, late in life, I find myself still resisting the pull, still coping with conflicting senses of who I should, can and wish to be. The best I can do is attempt to find some sort of balance, admittedly a tenuous balance, that will momentarily shift either way. Maybe not so much a balance as a wispy sense of self, subject to shifting with even slight disturbances of the surrounding atmosphere.

A friend of mine, a medical professional that treats transgender patients, recently reminded me (again) that in her words, “you are great as a man and great as a woman. Its OK to be both!”

[Kris Burton]

As one who has just recently admitted to himself the CD is a part of him,I can attest that I am the better for it, making room for the two sides without guilt or shame. Although my persona is not nearly as far along as yours and many others, I'm on my way, and I have not felt better psychologically in years. Julie, your article further validates my feelings and choice. Thank You!

[Kandi Robbins]

Juls, you continue to be a role model and I am proud to call you a friend! And I continue to know I could not keep up with you for half an evening!

[SarahLynn]

I stand in the middle of a balance beam, works every time. :) :)

No serious now. It's tough sometimes, especially when I want to dress but can't because of commitments made sometimes weeks in advance.

[GretchenJ]

Julie, an excellent post that rings so true to me is was like you were reading my mind. I am still getting over the dysphoria from Covid, but I think think with finding a new therapist who has experience with gender issues I am beginning to come out the other side. Our main topic during our sessions is exactly what you wrote about, how do I keep my balance.

[Kitty Sue]

Nicely written Julie. I have not gotten fully dressed in years. I did not get married until I turned 41 and the years before I married I had loads of time to dress as I liked. I did often. Even today as I am home by myself while the family is at work and school I could easily dress up all day. Overall, I just can't be bothered. It takes me a good 2 hours to fully dress and apply makeup. Every now and then I will put on the odd item, as it feels good. I am sure that in time I will dress fully again. Right now though I find my CD life v regular life pretty easy to balance.