Preparing first time outside the house

[Patty_cd]

Hi girls and ladies...

Big moment will come in a few days... if I can find the courage. I will have some complete free days in the next weeks till chrismas to do it, and some other days, the lunch time (02h00).
I'm preparing my first time out tottally dressed.
I've brought some new clothes for this great occasion : skirt, sweater, pantyhose, boots... I've made a complete outfit that seems very confortable as I've tried it recently. I love the style all the new outfit gives me.
I also buy a handbag to carry all my stuff !
I'll put some make up and I hope my $10 wig will do the job.
I've also prepared a small program of things to do.

In fact I'm as scared as impatient to experiment this.

My biggest problem right now is how to try to put some more feminine side in my voice, even if I will only have to say 3 or 4 words in the shopping mall.

https://i.imgur.com/V8QwyEW.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/LgV03Ha.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/Kls1ZVp.jpg

[MonicaPVD]

Fantastic. Voice tip: speak softly and slowly. Anything beyond that without significant practice will sound forced. You aren't trying to fool anyone and you aren't going to fool anyone. Soft and slow. Have a great time!

[Kris Burton]

Patty - you've put together a great look, and it appears you are ready to take this big step. I think Monica's advice is spot on, and I will also be following it in the weeks to come - I'm right behind you.
Confidence is also key - and smile....enjoy this memorable experience.

[NancySue]

Been there..done that. You?re ready. You?ve planned your outing, now enjoy your plan. The first time is the toughest, it was for me, but by my third venture?much easier. Have a great time. Hope you give us a review of your experience.

[Patty_cd]

Thanks for the support. I will noticied when it was done and if I can post some pics, I will.

[Linda K.]

If you are worried about how your voice sounds, I would suggest you watch a couple of Heidi Phoxx videos on YouTube. She talks in quite a few of them and could be a good example to practice your voice. Love that outfit by the way!

[Sallee]

The first step is the hardest. Don't worry about your voice, you probably won't to do much talking on your first time out anyway. If you do people tend to hear what they see. It will be a great harmless thrill so enjoy it

[mariajose]

You look great!

Just remember to stay safe, avoid lonely / dark areas, etc.

are masks still mandatory in your area? the muffling might help "disguise" your voice. just go for soft sounds instead of high pitch and you should be fine

good luck!

[bridget thronton]

Very nice pictures

[Rhonda Darling]

Patty, some great advice here. You have a very nice attractive womanly look — as Kris suggested, SMILE. Not a crazy grin, just a smile to soften the lines on your face and make your presentation more presentable and friendly. When a woman smiles it softens others and they respond accordingly.

Good luck and keep us informed how your outing(s) go.

[Debra Russell]

Yesss......relax, smile, leave your nervous notions in the car, be confident; most of all have fun. Really- no one carries pitch forks and torches these days. you will have fun and then start looking forward to the next time ...... great outfit and you look very femm .........................Debra

[CrossKimmy]

So pretty! I just ADORE your sweater!

[docrobbysherry]

Just one warning, Patty. I think u look marvelous! :battingeyelashes:

But, unless middle aged women wear skirts like that out shopping where u live? I think you're going to attract a lot of attention!:eek:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hi girls and ladies...

Big moment will come in a few days... if I can find the courage.

In fact I'm as scared as impatient to experiment this.


Think positive. I will find the courage.

Scared and impatient sound like the right mix of emotions.

I don't know how old you are, but you look quite cute.

[Patty_cd]

To reply to many many many questions and thoughts :
I'm 47 old
We still wear masks here only inside or in presence of many people if outside : that's not a problem now for me, it gives more time to make a better make up to hide a fresh shave ans look prettier.
And yes I feel a little nervous so .. smiling on those pics was tottaly forgotten... but not forbidden. in fact there were not supposed to be posted, only for me but I realised that it could help me if I showed you.
I think my wig can make it but I probably will buy a new one.
I can wear those kinds of skirts. I'm pretty proud of my legs I have to admit, so I'm ready to show them. But it's the shortest skirt I will accept to wear in public.
I've chossen a skin pantyhose but I also got a black one : mabye I need to try it just to see the difference.

And many many many thanks for all the support en advices.

[NjJamie]

Patty, looking at your pictures you're as ready as anyone on this site ever was and you should (WILL!) have a great time. The only advice I can think of would be to slow down everything as I know I tend to hurry through everything when dressed, and smile, you're having a great time!

Look around you as you walk in, maybe try a large mall store as they usually have exits on a few sides and you can plan your first pass as "in this door and right over to the next exit" but be sure to check in the mirrors to notice that no one is looking twice or following you! If you think you need a crutch, go to a store such as Target or Kohls and get a cart, plop your bag in the child seat and tell yourself you have to do just one lap, if it is going well you might take a second lap and stop in a few sections but the first lap should be about 2 minutes, what could possibly go wrong?

The short answer is that you will have an awesome time, maybe take a moment to go back to your car to get your heartbeat back into double digits but you will have made a huge step on your journey.

[mykell]

hello, lots of truth has been given....your wig looks better than a $10 piece, you seem cute enough to get away with a skirt....black hose may be better....remember its not if but when you will get clocked....just be ready for it and smile, i get out once a week, work retail....i dont do the voice thing and my female name is just a version of my male one....i think i get it close enough to have peeps take a second look but as soon as i open my mouth its game over....just own it, when i see folks that i dont want to deal with i just look at my phone and wander into another part of the store....and smile....its a girls super power.....have fun....

[Bobbysue]

They say plan your work,work your plan

[Kitty Sue]

Take your time and don't try too hard at faking a fem. voice. When I went out dressed I just spoke in my regular guy voice. I even walked like a guy. However, I always had a great time and people were awesome. Especially in New York City.
Have fun and looking forward to hearing about your experience.

[NjJamie]

Patty, one last thing, nails and jewelry as finishing touches might just make you believe how passable you already are.

Good luck!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I didn't think about it at first, but jewelry will make a nice finishing touch. You should be able to fine some beaded bracelets or a set of bangles at Pennys. I also wear my boy wedding ring and a CV ring that looks like an engagement ring. Not that anyone will really take notice, but if some guy hits on you, just hold up your hand and flash your engagement ring.

I wouldn't expect to be hit on, but it could happen. I've been hit on by both men and women, but more women than men surprisingly. Have a response ready, like "I'm not that kind of girl."

[Geena75]

Lots of good advice. The jewelry is a good idea; necklace is easy. I got clip on earrings and really love the feel of them dangling. You look really good. You might just try looking more pleased (I know it turns out grim when doing self pictures).

There seem to be two schools of thought on going out for the first time: slow and easy vs let-her-rip. Maybe think of it like when you first get in the water for swimming. You wade out slowly to get used to the water, but eventually you just immerse and go with it. Like it was suggested, I'd take a drive first If you feel extra nervous, stop at a park or far out in a parking lot and just get out of the car and walk around it, maybe look at your reflection in the windows. Let your confidence build. You look good enough to be quite confident.

Above all, enjoy yourself.

[Connie D50]

Good luck, have fun and smile lol

[alwayshave]

Patty, You look great. Good luck out in the wild.

[ellbee]

But, unless middle aged women wear skirts like that out shopping where u live? I think you're going to attract a lot of attention!:eek:

Unless one is positive that enough GG's where you'll be are wearing skirts/dresses/hose/boots/heels?

I'd stay away from wearing those.


While I understand the allure? I'm not a fan of doing that personally, nor am I an advocate of others doing so. Particularly for a 1st-timer.

Why? Because not only what Sherry said, but also due to the self-conscious factor.


A natal male wearing a skirt (or dress) in the Western world, is past the point of no-return, in terms of public perception. You've officially put yourself out there on display in this little temporary universe, crossing that divide. IOW? There are no "man-skirts" or "man-dresses."
Then when one adds in the extras, like hose/boots/heels? You just went above & beyond! :confused2:


Again, unless one is certain that enough GG's there will be dressed similarly? I'd have a 2nd outfit in mind.

Not trying to dissuade anyone. Heck, wear what you want. Just keep in mind that additional yet otherwise avoidable attention (and subsequently, scrutiny) will probably be coming your way, whether you realize it or not. And this may ramp up your feeling self-conscious -- which may already be present.

Personally, I'd rather just go about my business, like any other person expects to.


Anyway, I'd be a hypocrite if I said *not* to go out en-femme in a skirt/dress/hose/boots/heels. I've done that plenty of times in the past! :heehee:

But I also speak from first-hand experience, as well as personal & social observation.


These days, on the rare occasion I venture out in public en-femme into a basic, vanilla everyday environment? I stick with leggings (as stand-alone pants) or skinny-jeans, something along that nature. Plus, footwear that doesn't attract much visual or auditory attention.

That way, I feel much more comfortable & at ease, blending into the background & with typical GG's you may see under those circumstances, as much as possible. Plus, getting clocked ain't as bad, IMO, as seeing a natal male wearing some sort of pants is nowhere near as "jarring" as one in a skirt/dress. Hence, public acceptance greatly improves.


Anyway, just one person's opinion. Have fun, and good luck whatever you do! :battingeyelashes:

[Krisi]

My suggestions:

A better wig, possibly one with bangs to cover your forehead and maybe shoulder length as well.

As has been suggested, jewelry. A necklace, earrings and bracelets.

Hip and butt padding to give that "hourglass" figure.

Slacks or a longer skirt. Yes, it's fun to wear a mini skirt, but that's for the very young. Most women your (apparent) age would chose something knee length or longer.

Have fun!

[Patty_cd]

I've got some piece of jewelery and my nails will be done for this occasion..

- - - Updated - - -

I read and consider every comment : thanks for all the advices again.

I don't realy like wearing legging because I always think that... how to say that... anyone can see something between legs or guess something. I don't want to be provocative and I probably choose a (too) sexy outifit.
And I probably will think about another complet one to have the choice the D day. I don't have a very large wardrobe at this moment. But go out for a bit of shopping to buy some new stuff is on my to do list if everythings are allright.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There seem to be two schools of thought on going out for the first time: slow and easy vs let-her-rip. Maybe think of it like when you first get in the water for swimming. You wade out slowly to get used to the water, but eventually you just immerse and go with it.

I'm in the "let-her-rep" school of thought. It's not for everyone, but it works for me.

Also, I have gone out in a skort or mini-skirt several times. Twice, I got the most genuine comments from GGs, It was so empowering. But, I've also gotten very genuine comments from GGs wearing midi dresses. Most recently, I got, "I really love your dress" as I was just walking by a GG while wearing a midi jean dress with a flowing skirt. I live for those moments. I rarely wear jeans or slacks, and as you can see from my profile, I'm way past the acceptable age to wear miniskirts. Even though I love getting compliments from GGs about my outfit, I dress to please myself.

You seem to have it all together. Have a great time out in the wild.

[TheHiddenMe]

I think your outfit is fine. What's important is that you feel comfortable and confident.

Going out the first time is scary. Then once you do it, you tell yourself "what was I scared of?"

You don't indicate a location in your profile, but I'm guessing Europe? I think your outfit would likely fit in. The only change might be leggings instead of nylons under the skirt, because I've seen a lot of the skirt/leggings/boots combo here in the US.

My favorite locations tend to be shopping malls, but they tend to be less frequent once you leave the US.

Be brave, go out, take pictures, and come back and tell us all about it.

[Patty_cd]

I'm from France... I live at about 1 hour of car from Paris (I've updated my profile).

[Valerie Louise]

Patty, you can do this. I've only done some limited walking outside, but like you, I'm gearing up for the big shopping trip.
I think your wig and face is fine.
Regardless of whether you choose to listen to the advice to go with clothes that blend into your environment, I think one thing you may want to consider is defining a female shape a little more. Like the rest of us, you are wedge shaped and in female attire you have no waist.
I've found that a good corset, but most of all hip padding, makes the most difference. You can get a cheap set of foam hip pads online, and a workable corset comes in around $70. Just putting the pads into control top pantyhose makes a huge difference, and if you pull in the waist three inches ... you will rock whatever you wear.
Good luck, I'm sure you will be fine, and have fun.

[Cheshire girl]

Congratulations on starting your journey going out dressed. It gets easier the more you do it and you get to perfect your look. Attention to detail is important if you want to reach the position where you blend in as a woman in the mainstream world. It?s a long but enjoyable journey. Enjoy it!

[Patty_cd]

Done !
I will tell you everythijng about this new experience soon....

[crobeson96]

Done !
I will tell you everything about this new experience soon....

1. You are my heroine! Prayers and good thoughts going with you on the first of many.
2. As to your appearance, you look lovely. My observation of the women in my life is that there is something they think they can do better every time they go out. The process is continual from birth onward.
3. My mother to my sister AND my wife to our daughters: Smile as if you had a secret to share with everyone you meet, as if you just ate something delicious and can see there's another bite on your plate, and be happy because it is the women in the world that light the way for everyone else.
You already brightened my day :^)
4. Everyone reading this post sees your inner beauty - thank you for sharing!

-Camilla

[Debs]

Patty, just be yourself, I go out a lot dressed, acually just been into Manchester with Helen and Lexi, if your in public just be yourself, yep the girl in Boots knows Im a crossdressers, but we had a chat, sorted out what foundation matched my skin etc, please be yourself, Im a gorgous girl, well in my head I am , head up high enjoy who you are

love Debs

[Patty_cd]

First of all : the outfit. I feel very confortable at home with it as I've already tried it for a complete day.

https://i.imgur.com/40opKfV.jpg

As it's a little freezy today, I changed my nude pantyhose for a black one witch is more warmer too. I've kept all the rest (skirt, sweater,...) that I have already presenteed to you and added some pieces of jewelry.
In my head I'm a sexy fiftieth. In fact I don't think I'm so cute when I look to my face. But the rest can make it.

I've prepared everything : make up is in place but with no lip stick. I'm dressed except my skirt. Upside, I've hided my pink sweater with my everyday coat. As my nails are done, I had my winter gloves on. Only 5? C (41 ?F) this morning ? 10AM when the moment arrived.
My wig and my boots are in a big and bag with some other stuff.
Very foggy day. My car was parked very closed to my house but I managed to meet many neighbors. As my make up is very light, I'm tottally invisible.
I've stopped in a small forest close to my town to change quickly.

First mistake : I've lost my glasses. The most feminie ones I have you can see on the puicture upside. I have with me my everyday pairs so it's ok... but in fact my glasses are well hided at the very end of my big bag abd I was so nervours that I don't managed to find them at this time. I also have a women coat and my hand bag closed to me in this big shopping bag.

Yes nervous ! I'm sweating a little at this time.

[Geena75]

Way to go, Patti. Don't sweat the odd little things. I got a little lost driving my first outing. You definitely look so cute.

[Patty_cd]

Also about the outfit.

What about a hat.

https://i.imgur.com/ij8ErhD.jpg

I've found one but I realised that with the wig it's a little to small. But great to hide a bad wig.

And a scarf ?

https://i.imgur.com/ibvYUoM.jpg

Geat to hide your Adam's apple or not suffering from the cold weather. And it's added a great feminine touch.

https://i.imgur.com/Mk2d00R.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

So I got tottaly dressed but put the wig on correctly without a big mirror as in my bathroom is not easy. But as I was ready it seems that it's normal and natural for me to be here, in my car, dressed.

Driving wasn't so hard with heels boots. A couple of minute after I've got it. I just drove carefully, more than usual but on some roads that I know very well.
It's a little weird at first driving with heels but not as difficul as I expected to. I just find the right way to put my feet on the carpet and that was as simple as that. So I can say I'm confortable in my clothes and now in my car.

https://i.imgur.com/kVv12if.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/bedPv5y.jpg

Every red signal on the road was an occasion to make a new photo. And they are a lot of them on this road.

https://i.imgur.com/GtPwO05.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/m9wMk5c.jpg

And I've made a lot of photos...

So I drove to a shopping mall : every shopping mall in France have it's own supermarket.

Arriving the parking lot, I parked the car a little apart from the other cars. Time to put the face mask and realise that with the wig and the glasses it's just impossible...

[NjJamie]

Patty, no hat needed, so glad you're bringing us along for the ride on your day out!

[Valerie Louise]

So much fun. You write your experience very well. We are all with you!

[Larissa Cassandra]

Patty, you look beautiful and perfectly passable! No one will blink an eye, but they might very well wink! :battingeyelashes:

[Linda K.]

I am loving all the pictures and I hope you had a great time. With or without the scarf, glasses, or the hat you look fantastic! I am so happy you were able to go for a ride somewhere! Is that your glasses fogging up in the car?

[Geena75]

Patty
A hat is a fun idea, but it has to be so oversized to fit over the wig. I have heard it said that a stretchy knit feminine hat can hide some tell tale wig signs -- but you look very natural in the pictures. All you need is a pretty smile. Looking forward to hear about the rest of your adventure.

[Patty_cd]

It was pain in the ..... to put the face mask with the glasses and the wig but I finally got it.
So as I parked my car a liitle farther from the doors of the mall I had to walk a little : great to be less nervours afer the lmittle panic with the mask. As I arrived in front of the doors, I started to walk into the corridor to enter the Mall : I haven"t choosen the biggest entrance so I have to walk a little again. I realise that my boots are making so much noise. Really.
So I started to walk and hesitated to were I will go. A little bit nervours I understood after a couple of minutes that no one seems to look at me more another one.
So I walk a little and sometimes stopped in front of the windows of the stores : I can see my reflection and it's not what I usally see. Surealistic !
After a while I decided to enter the supermarket and started to walk around the first section, then the second one, and then the third... and I stayed walking there during 5 or 10 minutes; looking at some stuff like clothes or toys for chrismas...
I stayed very clam outside but inside I still in a kind of alert mode. I looked sometimes around or I just change my view only moving my eyes to examinate people's reaction. Everything looked fine. And I have to admit that probably only 1 or 2 folks noticed me but for what kid of reason ? The wig ? The sexy skirt ? The noise of my boots ? But I didn't have any negative feelings. But I need to go out.
So back to my car.... Slowly. This is how I undeerstood that my boots are a little to big for me. Walking in my house : no problem and I haven't noticed anything wrong but after walking in this Mall during 15 mn probably I can say that I'm not as confortable as I supposed to be in those boots.
In my opinion, people are too busy to look at me except probably someone that noticed my outfit and then looked at me.
The face mask is a great thing to hide yourself and very helped to be more confident. But I still think my wig is not good enough and as a paranoid, everyone I meet can noticed it and look at me with a weird eye. It lets me suspicious and nervours. But to see my wig, you need to really look at me firt and as I'm tall (1,80m , about 5ft 11in) it's not really easy to look at the top of my head to see the wig.

So I got back to my car and tried another store not too far away. Just enough to drive a lilltle and think about those last minutes. It's a sport clothes store.. and I brought a present for my daughter. I was so nervious at the moment I had to pay that I can't really talk to the cashier... It was more like a had a terrible sore throat.

So I started to go to another store but as a vigil was stucked at the entrance looking carrefully at everyone that enters, I decided to get back to my car... and drove a little... after a little walk just for fun and brethe some fresh air.
I wanted to take a coffe just for fun at this time but I prefered to got back home. But finaly I decided to stop in another store. I brought some stuff and it was only when I talked to the cashier that his look changed ! So till I talk, It seems I'm completely invisible for anyone or I haven't noticed the strange look I can had in my back.

I'm probably physicaly not as so terrible as I though first. But not as invisible as I would.

After thinking about the wig a little I've found another way to put the hair in front on my forehead that seems a little more natural, like a real hair cut.

https://i.imgur.com/3tjgRNE.jpg

So I've spent 2 hours outside...Most of the time drinving. It was fun or a little scary but a first time. I've done it !!!
Why do I care some much about what other people think of me ? If o?nly I can be more relaxed... Less thinking so mush about the look of other people.
I need to pass a step. I need to say to myself : yes you probably busted me, you undertand I'm not a real woman and so what ?

So back to home (after an quick undressgirl mode / redress male mode) I redressed to try to fix some problems with the wig and my make up (I'm not keen on this) as I got the house for me for about 2 more hours.

[char GG]

I think that your next to the last paragraph says it all.

You probably focused too much on yourself and the reactions (or lack of) people had toward you. When you learn to relax and just enjoy being out, you will probably not care what people think.

[NjJamie]

Patty, AWESOME! Thank you so much for sharing and I had no doubt you were going to do what you wanted, as you wanted, can't wait to hear about your next adventure!

It is amazing that while we are so nervous and worried about being out in public that for almost 99% of the public we are invisible. That doesn't mean that we passed as women but rather that we were close enough to blend and not cause a bad reaction.

Congrats again, so glad you had a great time!

Jamie

[mykell]

congratz, water under the bridge, the more you do it the more you will enjoy yourself....

[Geena75]

Congratulations! You did it! You went out in full view, and interacted with people, and nothing happened! Don't worry about your hair, it looks fine. Don't worry about your height: I work in retail and see a great many women who are about my height or taller, and I'm the same as you.

I so enjoyed your account. I sort of revisited my own limited outings and remembered the excitement. Seeing your reflection is such a rush (I kept an eye on myself whenever I could and had a similar reaction). You did very well. Thank-you for sharing.