Difficulties since pandemic

[Lucy Long Legs]

I am in the fairly common situation where my wife knows about my dressing but I do it without her knowledge. Since the pandemic she has stopped going away so haven't been able to dress for over a year. I think there is an opportunity on the horizon so I am excited about that.
I wondered if the feeling would go away, but of course it hasn't, as we all know.
Once in a while I travel to a different town where a wonderful lady does my makeup and I dress to the nines, apparently fairly convincingly. I visit a therapist for a chat and then go to a CD evening and sometimes on to a club, but this has been out of bounds for some time now.
I am having increasingly vivid fantasies about an evening on the town and each time I go out I try to push the boundaries a little. After many years in the closet, just dressing in front of somebody else was a huge step, then I shaved my legs, then I bought some perfume, then I went to a meeting, then I went to a therapist, then I went to a pub, then a club. I began by dressing in a very restrained fashion, but now I go for miniskirts, tights and heels as I feel I have nothing to lose.
I'm not sure what the next step should be - any suggestions?

[Shelly Preston]

Has your wife asked to see Lucy since she knows all about your dressing ?

[Lucy Long Legs]

Sadly, no.

[Helen_Highwater]

Lucy,

Stop, and take a deep breath. I don't want to stop you taking your dressing further but you need to be aware that if it gets out of hand you could be heading for a marital car crash. So plan your next steps carefully and stay in control of the situation. It's too easy to get lost in the pink fog.

Have a plan, work out the details, decide what it is you want to achieve but set realistic targets.

[docrobbysherry]

Why do u need to dress, "without her knowledge"? If she knows u dress simply work out a routine where u tell when and she can hide, leave, or get a glimpse of Lucy!:daydreaming:

Her choice!:thumbsup:

[kimdl93]

I would suggest talking with the therapist about how you might separate the fantasy from the reality. That is not to say that you abandon your desire for feminine expression, far from it, but rather that you get some help in defining what you want as part of your real life, versus what seems exciting in a flight of fancy.

[SaraLin]

Lucy Long Legs,

You feel you have "nothing to lose"? How about your wife? Your marriage? If you have them, kids? Friends? Job?

Now if you truly don't care about your current life - including your wife, why not just level with her and say "join me, or I'm outta here" - maybe even leaving out the "join" part?
If you DO care - you need to pump the brakes and slow down.

You're riding a runaway train, and if you don't find a way to get a handle on things - a crash is coming.

[Stephanie47]

If I am reading your post correctly all the good times are in the past due to Covid-19. I am in the same situation since my wife retired and Covid-19 wrecked everything. My wife use to travel out of state for a seven to ten day trip. She use to babysit our grandson over night at our daughter's apartment. At best she goes out once a week with a girl friend but there is no set pattern for her return. Thus, nothing other than sleeping en femme.

I would find it difficult in our DADT to tell my wife "Hey, disappear or go on an overnight hotel stay." If I am reading your post wrong; correct me. I read it as your trip to another town led to all those interactions, but, your wife has no idea that you are out and about. It's one thing when a wife tells her husband it is alright to do all those activities; it's another thing it is done without her knowledge. I don't want to get into the discussion if that is lying by omission. However, would your wife be comfortable with you doing it. What would her reaction be if you were seen by a friend or neighbor? Or, if you ended up in a hospital for some reason?

If you're going nuts with pent up demand to satisfy your needs perhaps it is time to discuss your feelings with your wife. I know my wife. She told me when we had "The Talk" it was alright with her if I found a support group. I know she would not approve if I went to a club to let my hair down. I also know my wife would tell me to go get a hotel room and stay in it, if I must, but she would not flee her home so I could roam around en femme.

My question for you is; when you made those trips that included counseling and clubbing did your wife know what you were doing? Or,was she totally in the dark?

[Lucy Long Legs]

Thank you everyone. That's good advice.