Trans, CD and Tom Brady

[Mermaiden]

I was falling asleep last night, happily wearing a lavender nightgown, and arandom thought occurred to me. I was asking myself (again) am I a crossdresser or am I on the path to transgender? And the thought was I like the idea and looks of being female but don?t actually think of myself as female. Like football fans who wear Tom Brady jerseys and want to be like him but have no misconceptions about being him. Or like kids wearing superhero costumes who like pretending to be a superhero but know they are not. Does this make sense?

[char GG]

This makes absolute sense to me. I used to ask my hubby the same thing.

[Kris Burton]

Yes Mermaiden, this does make sense, and I'm sure it does for many - but I think there are many reasons why one might be drawn to our activity. I recognize also that crossdressing is the portal through which I assume most transgender persons pass, but it doesn't mean that you are transgender or will ever lead to that. You might just like to wear women's clothes because of the sexy feeling it brings! Many reasons indeed.

[Natalie5004]

My wife is worried that I am trans or gay. I told her neither.

But If I wish I had real breasts does that make me trans?

Tom Brady does not want real breasts. (at least I don't think so) . Just to tie it back to the post, sorry.

[DianeT]

Mermaiden, I feel exactly like you. I want to look like a female, once in a while. But don't feel like one, nor want to be one. I want to live the experience of
wearing my superheroines' costumes, not be my superheroines. And the more I advance in my crossdressing the more my superheroines look like mere mortal females. And the more they look like mere mortals, although I can't explain why, the better, the more fulfilling it gets.

[Geena75]

Diane said it best. While I am just who I am, I do enjoy pretending to be someone completely different once in a while. I know that's not who I really am, nor is it who I will be, or want to be permanently. It's just fun and exciting to do. If or when it stops feeling that way, I will probably not do it.

[SaraLin]

Mermaiden, it looks like you've answered your own question about whether you're crossdresser or trans:


And the thought was I like the idea and looks of being female but don't actually think of myself as female.

I wish I could find such a simple answer for myself.

[Crissy 107]

Sometimes I feel there is a wide gap between being a CD and being Trans and sometimes I feel it is only a small gap. Ask me tomorrow and it may be different

[Mermaiden]

Thanks for thoughtful responses. Natalie, I too sometimes think about having real breasts, but I think to me they?d be a better ?costume? and in my mind I still wouldn?t be female. DianeT, my CDing has evolved from over decorated frills and lace to more ordinary everyday female clothing, consistent with a woman of my age.Crissy, agreed trans v CD is not a hard and fixed difference. Maybe that?s part of what makes it confusing.

[Patience]

I dunno. I dress and present as female to express a feminine side of my being. Are folks who wear Tom Brady shirts trying to express their inner Tom Brady or trying to be like him? To me, wearing a sports figure's shirt is like wearing a rock band shirt - it's an expression of admiration for a person or group without necessarily wanting to be them.

The kid wearing superhero garb simile is also problematic. Yes, putting on a cape and long underwear can help one "get into character" and explore feelings associated with being that character, but kids know intellectually that what they're doing is "make believe" for a specific event or occasion. Dressing as a superhero is something folks are expected to outgrow.

Speaking for myself, I've done all these things when I was a child - I wore the shirts of popular sports personalities and also dressed up as a superhero (not at the same time), but the feeling of putting on and wearing a dress even back then was different. It was, of all dress up activities mentioned, the one I was not supposed to do, but it was the one I had to do, in spite of that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I had to keep that part of me which I did not fully understand to myself. And here I am decades later still enjoying wearing dresses and even presenting myself this way in public occasionally.

The Pink Fog is (and makes) all the difference.

[StacyG]

You had me laying awake in bed thinking last night. A lot of times in high school, I would wear my sister's school uniform so I could be like the girls I was attracted to. I wanted to be them and even now I still fantasize what it would be like to be a woman, just for a few day or weeks to try it out with no knowledge of being a man. Other than that, no matter what I do i will always know what it is to be male. I would love breasts and a nice figure every now and then.
I've gotten dressed in sexy clothing and lingerie and had men over and hoped I would feel all feminine , but it always ended up two guys sitting on the couch, one in nice lingerie and when I was pleasing him and being used by him, I knew I was male no matter how i wanted to be female.