I think I maybe trans. What to do

[Jess6887]

Hi so for a long time since I was a kid I’ve known somewhere inside me that I want to be a women.

And now I’m in my early 30’s. And have left like this all my life but to this day I only crossdress when I get the chance too.

But as of late that feeling of I should be been a women has been really strong. And it?s been weighing on my mind. The reasons in the past I haven’t addressed it is that I?ve been scared what people’s reactions are going to be and how I would be treated if I chose this path.

But the urge has been really strong and I’m thinking it’s time I see someone about it. But I don?t know where to start or how to bring it up.
I?ve been doing a lot of research online about if I maybe transgender. And a lot of it I?ve read I?ve felt like I am.

But some Suggestions would be great on how I go about this.

[NjJamie]

Jess, thanks for sharing and it seems that the world is changing at a very rapid pace. On Jeopardy, the current champ seems to be TG and no one is commenting on much more than her skills and abilities. That's not to say you won't run into problems but keep a positive mindset and a realistic strategy to reaching your goals, good luck on your journey.

Update, just saw a news article on her in the NYPost, hope it helps!

[Laura912]

After reviewing your past threads and this one, I strongly suggest you find a counselor well trained in gender issues.

[Lana Mae]

I agree with Dr. Laura! Get a good gender counselor and be honest with them and yourself! Take it nice and slow! "Let yourself be yourself!" Hugs Lana Mae

[Katya@]

Hi Jess,
Depending on where you live, you may have hard time to find a therapist that is available. I know in my area, the wait times can be easily 6-12 months.

Just in case, and while you wait, I wanted to suggest to invest only $16 in this guide, written by a gender therapist:

https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056

It really helped me to sort out all the thoughts in my head and I have arrived myself to the answer that I am a trans. Ultimately, this is what a therapy is. You should arrive to some answer on your own with properly asked questions.

Good luck!
Katya

[Nadine Spirit]

I would suggest starting by finding a therapist well versed in gender variances. I found mine by:
1. google - I searched local therapists and read their qualifications and specialties.
2 - my local LGBTQ+ center. I emailed them and visited them and asked for references.
3 - I tried an online counseling service that matched me with someone who could start seeing me that day. Eventually I gave this up as it was just general therapy and not gender variance specific.
4 - I waited until a local gender variance specialist was available to start seeing me in person. Lucky for me that was only about a month or two of a wait.
5 - most importantly, I finally tried something(therapy), starting immediately(that same day,) and then when that didn't work I kept searching until I found something that did.

I've now been in therapy for about 4.5 years and I love it!

--- oh I will edit this to add, my therapist personally will only see clients online from now on. So online gender specialists are available. Though Katya is super correct in saying that current wait times are insanely long. An example would be that my therapist is so swamped with new clients she recently stopped accepting them.

[Aunt Kelly]

You've already given yourself the answer - "...thinking it's time I see someone about it." Start there, or rather start by locating a counselor who has training and experience in dealing with gender identity issues.

As for your fears about how people will react, that's a valid concern, but it will not change who you really are. So find out. :)

[Sarah Doepner]

While we are a good group to bounce ideas off and get suggestions, you really need to work with a therapist. The other thing you might want to consider is look for a local support group where you can present yourself as a woman and see how things resonate. There is an entire gender spectrum of where you might be comfortable under one title or another and it may change over time, so be open, ask questions and don't reject anything until you've seriously considered it. But if it's something that is filling your mind enough of the time that it's having a negative impact on your life, it's time to see someone to help you examine what's going on.

[Debbie Denier]

I agree with the others. A therapist is essential. There is a documentary series called A change of Sex which was recently repeated in the UK . I recommend you watch it if you can access It .Starts in 1979 and features the story of Julia Grant?s gender reassignment. It also shows how lonely the journey can be and the regrets she had.

[Sometimes Steffi]

It looks like you can view the series "A change of Sex" here (https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/p097xwkf/a-change-of-sex)

[Lunamoon]

Hi Jess,
Depending on where you live, you may have hard time to find a therapist that is available. I know in my area, the wait times can be easily 6-12 months.

Just in case, and while you wait, I wanted to suggest to invest only $16 in this guide, written by a gender therapist:

https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056

It really helped me to sort out all the thoughts in my head and I have arrived myself to the answer that I am a trans. Ultimately, this is what a therapy is. You should arrive to some answer on your own with properly asked questions.

Good luck!
Katya

Thank you for recommending this book. I have ordered it from Amazon. The wait time for me to see a Gender Identity Counsellor in my area (UK - Midlands) is 46 months!!! I thought it was a typo, that they meant 4-6 months, but no!!!

Dee

[Katya@]

Hi Dee,
You are welcome! Dara is great. They have actually sent me a signed copy of the book as I bought it before it was re-released.
BTW, you can see them reading the book on their YouTube channel here:
https://youtu.be/ENn7-5IxHoM
I got through the first 3.5 years of my transition without having a gender therapist as one wasn't available. The book was sufficient for me to figure out who I am, and I used my best judgment and some advice from this forum as I moved through my transition. I do have a therapist now and it helps me with figuring out the next chapter in my life, such as navigating the marriage with kids where a dad lives only a woman now. Luckily, I found another therapist for us as a couple as well.
Good luck!
Katya