What do you do when you are lonely?

[missynicole]

I get lonely, I have no one to talk to about crossdressing, my effeminate feelings, desires and my possibly changing sexual preferences. Does anyone else feel this way and if so what do you do? To me emailing another is okay but I want we someone to talk to who will listen and care about what I am saying and feeling. I am submissive in nature so it is difficult to reach out to another. Does anyone else find themselves in this situation? If so what do you do?
Thank you for all your thoughts, opinions and advice.

[Stephanie47]

Well, I am in the same boat. Pecking away on this keyboard is about it. My wife and I are in a deep "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage; really deep DADT. She has not said hardly two sentences since the early 1980's. Sometimes I wish she'd scream and hell about my cross dressing. A while back you posted an ill-fated outing to a friend, who choose to "unfriend" you. That's the peril of self outing to family and friends and coworkers. The alternative is to find like minded individuals or group settings to express oneself. I also look at the situation from my wife's point of view. She expressed way back when we were discussing things that the hardest part for her was not having anyone to talk to about my cross dressing. Yes, it can be lonely, but, it would be lonelier without her.

My outlet has been to engage in retail therapy. I still buy fem clothing even though I know my opportunities to fully engage are limited.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, it gets lonely at times. Especially so the last 3 years since we retired and moved away from the metro area we lived in for so long.
There we had our support groups and some of us would get together and go out shopping, to dinner or a movie. Now the nearest group is over 2 hours from me. Thankfully my wife is fully supportive and I dress all the time but in many ways it's just not the same as having a girl friend to talk to, someone who has walked the same path and understands deeply the emotions involved. For me I have just accepted that this is where I chose to be and that I will have to live with the separation from others like me. I have the Forum and the freedom to be me at home. I have the understanding of my wife and her participation which gives me the freedom to go out shopping and such so I suppose all is not as bad as it seems.
Still, that missing companionship leaves a void.

[docrobbysherry]

No, Missy, I'm not. But, like many here, I'm not trapped living with a non sympathetic SO!:sad:

So, I meet with other dressers often. Outside the the town I live in because I'm not out. :thumbsup:
You'll find us all over the USA in gay and LGBT clubs and bars!:battingeyelashes:

I also chat with others online here and on Sherry's FaceBook Profile!:hugs:

[Debra Russell]

This is why we all come here and for a large number of us it is the only socializing we do. this site is great................Debra

[Kris Burton]

I am kind of a loner by nature, and as such my tolerance of alone-ness is high. Still, I have leaned heavily on this group for validation and outside discussion regarding CD pursuits. I have posted a lot,and that has resulted in my making several online friends that I share with regularly now via chat...and that helps. I am fortunate to have a wife who is accepting and understanding as well.I have looked into outside CD support groups, which could be a good resource for you if you can find one in your area that is up and running (the main one around here is currently not meeting due to Covid restrictions). Well worth checking out those resources too. But I would say do not despair,try to reach out and make a friend, even if a virtual one. I think you might be surprised at the response.

[Jessica Secret]

I feel so lucky to have a supportive and encouraging boyfriend but there are times when I feel like I'm in my own world when it comes to CD'ing, and when that happens I usually jump on here and all of the wonderful people here remind me I'm not alone.

[Debbie Denier]

I think the majority of CDs experience loneliness. Our choices can result in a lonely life. This forum however provides an outlet to chat and meet with others . I mentioned support groups in a previous thread. They seemed to have dried up over the years. Of course covid has not helped. I think things can only get better.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Sorry but my life is so busy with family, hobbies, work, projects i dont have tine to.get lonely. Maybe when my kids go off to college ill have tine to be lonely.

[Marcie]

I also get very lonely without anyone to discuss my likeness to crossdressing. If someone would like to contact me on the subject I would be very receptive

[Geena75]

Many is the time I wished I had someone a modest drive away who I could meet and talk to. There are times I feel so good or so confused about dressing up I would really like that contact. Lacking that, I read posts, and maybe send a message. I've done a few chats with members, but not often.

[Debs]

Fortunately my wife accepts me now, believe me it was DADT for many years, I can now stay out overnight whenever I want, so I have support groups in Manchester and Blackpool, both of them aprox 1 hour drive in opposite directions, I even a few weeks ago went out shopping with a couple of the girls off here, if was a brilliant day out shopping then out for drinks at night. So have a look around for your local support groups and go out with them. my very first venture was to find my local support group in Manchester, went dressed as a male, introduced myself, got talking to them, they welcomed me with open arms, so from then on went dressed, they even supplied a dressing room where you could get changed on the night.

[prene]

I have gone thru those feelings yes.

It is hard to find a accepting gg.

It is OK when I get out ... going shopping and such but when I am alone ... yes

[Linda K.]

I keep busy, I learn new things, I do all sorts of things, and I help people out when they need a hand with something. Since I found this site, I spend a lot of time here and emailing the friends I have made from this site. Other than that, I am working on or doing something on the house. In those situations, I don't necessarily look for interaction with anyone because I want to get things done. But when I need a friend, I know you are all right here! As some of you already know, you can chat with me anytime! Maybe some day, I would love to meet some of you in person!

[Judy-Somthing]

I had a close friend who never had any interest in dressing but, I use to show him my dresses and photos.
I stopped telling him anything about my dressing after one day when he said I was a very strange person.

I hate hiding my stuff and sneaking around. I'm sure I could loose some friends if they knew I dressed.

[Kelli_cd]

I'm glad I found this site. It's likely I'll never have an opportunity to fully dress (makeup, wig, forms, outerwear) so I guess I live vicariously through y'all's posts and experiences.

[Stephanie 334]

Very well said Linda....perhaps you and I will chat very soon...

Stephanie

[missynicole]

thank you all for your honest thoughts and for expressing your feelings. i do believe it is time to make some decisions. Merry Christmas to all and thank you again.

[Karren H]

I am never lonely! Kind of wish I were more Linley or had more unsupervised time alone. Sigh.

[JoanneNY]

Lonelely, is living alone as i've done for 13 years. Yes, there is the freedom to dress 24/7 and to enjoy all the forbidden happy dress up times that were not to be in that mutual DADT life. But there is the emptiness wishing that my wife could have accepted my CD'ing but would not.

[Claire81]

I'm definitely lonely in this experience, but the feelings have been there so long I'm not sure I could handle feeling anything else!

[Natalie5004]

Can we PM each other and maybe share a phone number?

[Stephanie 334]

Absolutely....

I'll PM you.

Stephanie

[sometimes_miss]

Well, it's been a hassle over the past two pandemic years. As I'm in the 'at risk' category, having worked in healthcare for 50 years, I know that I should avoid any contact as much as possible. So I do. It makes for a bit of a lonely life, but hey, I'm doing what's right to prevent the spread of disease as much as I'm capable of.

Meantime, I have my parrot. Extremely well behaved, will sit with me for hours, chatters away and whistles all sorts of tunes (when I'm not in sight; I attribute this, likely to his feelings that I'm the 'alpha bird' of the flock, so he defers to me, allowing me to vocalize first), so I never feel completely alone.

I have accepted the state we're in, just like it was back in 1918-22 and other epidemics, it took a while for it to slow down and get back to normal. And it will. It's just a matter of time.

So hang in there everyone. We'll soon be able to socialize normally once again.

[CDLagras]

for me its the opposite im never alone and could only wish for time by myself..

[josie_S]

For me, the loneliness is the worst part of it. I'm lucky to have a couple of girls I keep in touch with--some I even met on this site--but because of the social implication, we can't just hang out or pop over. Plus none of them live close by. Being a cd has always been a lonely experience, like Claire I basically dont always know what to feel except lonely. Thank god for the internet though...I cant imagine what it must have been like before when you really had to hide and had almost no safe outlet

[AnelineM]

I would never have agreed to be a crossdresser if I knew how lonely it would be. I'm not out to anyone except you all. The only place I can share my thoughts about this damn urge is right here. Thanks everyone!
Aneline

[stephenie3756]

I have been very lonely at times and other times not. Starting out at 15, very lonely.....through college..still lonely..when I was out on my own, still lonely but I could dress all the time...got married..still lonely..moved away for a new job and found a support group-not lonely anymore but it was short lived until wife moved down....moved away for another job and found three support groups..spend every weekend going to a support group, eating dinner, even attend one of them getting married....then wife moved up.....then wife found out..was accepting at first...but eventually that gave way...now DADT....so glad there is the internet now....