Changing one's mind?

[nancy58]

Today I got to thinking about what life would be like if I decided to live "out" as Nancy full-time, the way I understand pre-operative transsexuals do as a way of ensuring it's the right thing for them. And then I got to wondering what it would be like if, after trying it for some months, I were to change my mind and go back to living my male persona the bulk of the time and saving the Nancy time for special occasions. Have any of you gone that route? If so, how did you deal with the friends, business associates, etc., who saw you start it and then change your mind?

[ellbee]

It's probably not as daunting as you would think.


Reason being? I believe it's only natural for it to be some sort of gradual morphing -- and *not* just the flicking of an on/off switch.

Follow me? :)


For instance, presentation for outside of work, to start with.

If you have to run to the grocery store & post office, or have to swing by your sister's house to pick something up, are you going to get fully dolled-up first every time? Like, the whole 9 yards?

Or, will you just do it more nonchalantly, by throwing on some casual GG-clothes, and out you go -- in "guy-mode"?


IOW? Suddenly showing up someday all decked-out from head to toe would be a bit more "jarring" to others, compared to, say, simply wearing skinny jeans & a purple hoodie "as a guy."


I dunno, I guess I just don't view it as an all-or-nothing kinda thing? :strugglin

Which, of course, makes things that much easier to ease off, should the need arise. ;)

[kimdl93]

I have tried to live a split life and find that daunting enough, primarily because of a desire to isolate this aspect of my life from family. By contrast, I am out to most of my former work associates. They have little or no stake in how I live my life and seem to be fine with whatever I do. I must say?its a constant source of tension.

[Nadine Spirit]

I think what you are describing would be known as a de-transition. Which is a concern that many people have, but it is largely over-exaggerated. Very few people will transition and then stop and go back to how they presented before. It happens, but it does not happen all that often. As well, usually when it happens, people stop their transition because of others around them and not because they change their minds about how they see their own gender. Some of the more recent numbers say that about 97% of those who transition are happy about it. That's a pretty good success rate, higher than breast augmentation surgery actually.

Oh sorry I don't have an answer for your question though. I was one who thought she'd just try and change her hormones and accidentally discovered who she really has been her whole life. So there is no putting this genie back into her bottle.

[docrobbysherry]

Once everyone knows, I'm guessing everyone will be continually asking u what's going on with Nancy?

And then again after u stop, you'll need to be prepared to talk about it all the time.:straightface:

[nancy58]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies.

[MonicaPVD]

If your friends are truly your friends, they most likely will a) be supportive, and b) think you're a little nuts. In that case, they won't be too worried about you transitioning and detransitioning. They will probably be a little worried about making sure you are in a good space and happy with your life choices.

[nancy58]

Monica, you are right about that, I am certain. I like to believe that most of my friends will stand by me. I'm still unsure about taking the leap. First, I guess I need to tell my adult daughter.