Dressing while at the office

[Misty_cder]

Today I took a chance and dressed at the office, but knew ahead of time no one was scheduled to be there. I underdressed as I always do and wore my typical male clothing on my commute to the office. Our space is in a high rise building with several firms. Once inside my office, I double checked the office schedule to make sure there were no last minute changes to staffs plans. Seeing none, I changed into a simple outfit. I did not apply make up or bring a wig and used FaceApp to ?improve? the photo below. I went with this look because I figure should someone come into the office unannounced, it wouldn?t be too shocking. I was thinking it is more of ?a guy in some women's clothing? as oppose to being a full MIAD. I know this was very risky and would blow the closet door wide open if discovered. As I continue to mature in my dressing, I want to take it to the next level by being more open about my dressing, but knowing no one would be in the office gave me some sense of security as I continue to baby step out of the closet. I was dressed for six hours and it felt wonderful, and no one came in. It was a letdown when I had to change back to my male clothing.

325219

[Julie MA]

Misty,

Risky indeed. Perhaps find a place to get out, away from work. Are you concerned being found dressed at work will affect work relationships and subsequently your employment?

Julie

[Pumped]

Fun to do, but if your employers are not understanding it could be trouble if you are caught.

[kimdl93]

Kinda think this is the workplace equivalent to Russian roulette. Maybe there is a more controlled, planned course to take. First question is: can you dress at home and arrive at the office in your desired attire? If yes, then how out do you want to present? Wearing just one item?or the whole shebang? And MAID or girl mode? It would be a good idea to ask yourself these questions and then, if you feel serious about taking it further, talk to your supervisior or HR.

[melissa25]

Fun but risky!

[chelyann]

beautiful

[Kris Burton]

I was dressed for six hours and it felt wonderful, and no one came in. It was a letdown when I had to change back to my male clothing.

I can see why. You look great. Looking great in a casual setting is something worth addressing as well. I'll bet the element of risk heightened this whole event for you - I get that! I do hope your employers are an understanding bunch, should you try again and things go awry.

[docrobbysherry]

Probably pretty safe in LA. It mite take dressing like Marilyn to raise eyebrows there!:heehee:

[Geena75]

The risk of being caught adds a certain excitement to it all. Hopefully the office doesn't use much in the way of 24 hr security cameras.

[Maid_Marion]

I've been dressing to the office for a couple years now. I think helps establish that I have seniority and do my job exceptionally well.
I had the issues of being short and looking young for my age. Clothes fit awkwardly. Presenting female flips those disadvantages into pluses!

Now my clothes fit exceptionally well. There are a ton of choices when you can wear size 2 tops and bottoms. As a guy nothing fit.
I've tracked down labels and sizes that fit well off the rack without hemming! Right now I'm wearing a pair of Eddie Bauer flannel lined pants, size 2P.
I've grown out my hair so that it is long, even for women my age. I wear nail polish and heels.

Marion

[Linda K.]

Sounds risky. Does your office have security cameras? Just curious. It's sounds like you had a wonderful experience, and even though you used Face App, I think you look great. I really like the outfit you chose and your presentation if fantastic! Any more trips to the office planned as Misty?

[alwayshave]

Misty, while I appreciate your need to dress, I'd never take such a risk. I'm in a partnership and I am not an employee, so protection that employees have do not apply to me.

[Misty_cder]

Thanks for everyones responses. I should clarify a few things. As I mentioned, I knew this was risky and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous the entire time, but the thrill of dressing while working was a natural high. There are no cameras inside the office. If there were, I would not have dressed. The firm is very progressive. We’ve had one person transition FtM and have numerous gay and lesbian couples. The only negative thing is most of our staff who identify within the LGBTQ community are young. I wasn’t too concerned what management would think if I got caught since I’m part of the management team. At the age of 50, I am the youngest manager at the firm. I might be na?ve in thinking if discovered would only help solidify my position on the team as someone who falls under the LGBTQ umbrella. I don’t know if I will do this again at this time. While my desire to come out of the closet is growing, I’m going to take some time to evaluate what coming out may potentially do to my career.

[NancySue]

I, too think, even though you didn?t get caught, you took a big chance. One never knows who might pop in the office. Would the consequences of being seen and the let down, be worth it? Not for me.

[Christie ann]

You certainly know your situation better than I do, so I just applaud you for taking that step to be the person you are. It’s a shame when we have to dress a certain way just to be in an empty room. Having memories is usually better than saying “ I wish I had…”

[Debbie Denier]

37 years ago long before CCTV. I worked in a small office that finished early on Christmas Eve.1 member of staff had to stay behind for 2hours as cover before security staff arrived.That member of staff was me. There was a dress 2 sizes to big for me in lost property that I had borrowed and took home previously. I decided to slip it on over my male attire and walked around the office . The risk was minimal but I got such a buzz. It was easy to slip on and off because it was too big. It was safely returned before security staff arrived. I don?t think I would take such a risk now due to CCTV etc and being older and wiser. I have loved dresses ever since and purchase them in the correct size.However on that day no wig make up etc I definitely looked like a MIAD.

[Maria 60]

You look great and I guess the risk is the fun part. It never seems to amaze me no matter how much time you spend dressed it's just never enough and such a let down when changing back.

[Mackem Sue]

I'm not going into details, but local diversity rules and laws mean if a man turned up up in full crossdress mode (girly wig, skirt, heels, etc), he as she would not be questioned.

Ironically, if someone turned up in uncovered tattoos, they'd be asked to cover them up or go home to find attire that would cover them up.

Sue

[TheHiddenMe]

Good on you.

You're in California.

You're part of management, so you are the employer.

You have a progressive team. You mention the young people, but they're the ones who would be most accepting.

If you worked at a place that wasn't accepting you wouldn't want to work there anyway.

The outfit is pretty neutral and doesn't scream female. It says casual which is what someone working in an office on Saturday would likely wear.

You wanted to do it, you took the risk, nothing bad happened, and you wanted to share it here--but some here like to tsk tsk about every little risk people take.

Face it, you're happy you did it and plan on doing it again. Right?

Kudos for doing what you want to do and overcoming the fear.

[Kelli_cd]

You look lovely, Misty! I think your outfit is super cute.

[Dutchess]

I might be na?ve in thinking if discovered would only help solidify my position on the team as someone who falls under the LGBTQ umbrella. I don’t know if I will do this again at this time. While my desire to come out of the closet is growing, I’m going to take some time to evaluate what coming out may potentially do to my career.

Yes you would be very naive and being in California means nothing . I talk often about my late fiance who was a very well respected enologist /vineyard dr/ winery chemist who held a patent to take smoke taint out of the grapes here in California. He was popular and very well known, needed and good at what he did and he LOVED that career ..

He showed up on opening day one year at his primary winery dressed and they dismissed him right then ,blackballed him and he never worked in the wine business again .. This was in the Napa valley and he couldn't even get a job at 7-11 after that . Forced to live with his mom and died broke in his early 50s .
Don't do it . Part of the reason I stay here is to try to make sure peoples lives don't end up like mine . Just putting it all out there like that was the worst thing he could've done.

[CharlotteCD]

I work in an extremely progressive business, with a nationally recognised pride network and massive focus on diversity, equality and inclusion.

When things were fairly quiet in the office over summer I was wearing skinny jeans and jeggings - not totally out of place on man, but that's the limit as to how comfortable I was. I felt happier to be working whilst having that little bit of expression, but I don't think I could go that step further and have s women's top, wig etc.

[Bruce64]

To complete the look. you need to wear a Brassiere and no forms under your top

[Angela Marie]

A few months ago I decided to start wearing my women's jean leggings, or as they are also called leggings. I was really nervous walking into the office. No one said anything then or since. I have also worn actual leggings a few times. Again nothing. I probably won't go any further than that. You don't want to push the envelope too far.

[Maid_Marion]

The issue with dressing on opening day is that this is a celebratory event for the Winery. It is like the bridesmaids changing their dresses at the last moment without the consent of the bride!
Instead of everyone talking about the wine they were talking about something else. Such poor taste!

[Aka_Donna]

Good on you.

You're in California.

You're part of management, so you are the employer.



California is an at will employment state. People can be dismissed at will and no reason needs to be specified. Better have plan B ready.

[MonicaPVD]

You look fantastic and natural and beautiful, but springing that look onto an unsuspecting coworker could be problematic. It's awesome that you are taking bold steps.