Going to start therapy

[Angela Marie]

I am finally going to therapy next week. Last year I finally stopped denying my innermost feelings and accepted the fact that I am transgender, not a crossdresser. It will be virtual therapy and the individual does do gender counseling; but that is only one of the areas that he counsels in. I would prefer someone who is exclusively a gender therapist but none are available right now. Nonetheless it will nice to bare my innermost feelings to an objective third party. I'm 67 and certainly not going to transition at this point but just talking it out will be productive. My wife is supportive of this so it will be interesting to see what the results are. I'm not looking for an epiphany, just some clarity.

[tifftg]

Good luck on the journey. I was in therapy and found the process very helpful in as you say clarifying what my priorities are and how to find balance in my life.

[bridget thronton]

I hope things go well for you and that this therapist is a good fit

[docrobbysherry]

Experienced therapists usually deal with issues, Angela.

If u don't plan to transition, then what difference would it make in your life if you're a trans or CD?:straightface:

Tomahto, tomayto?:heehee:

[CharlotteCD]

Good luck, and I hope it helps. What I would caution however is that as much as my therapist helped me accept myself, and feel better about my dressing, it was qctual counter productive because it just made me resent the world outside of those hour long sessions.

I found myself back in a world of shame, where I am not accepted by my wife or others etc.

[alwayshave]

Angela, good luck with the therapist. I have gone to a therapist to deal with some issues and the insight of a professional.

[Kris Burton]

Angela - it sounds like therapy could be very helpful to your overall self acceptance and mental well being. It appears that you are ready to bare those innermost feelings -I think that is the key to successful therapy. A good therapist will help you bring those thoughts and feelings to the surface, but be ready to dig deeply within and work hard yourself both in therapy and outside of it. if you are, results can be quite revealing and rewarding, even surprising. Best wishes for success!

[Sandi Beech]

Angela,

I think it is worth going just to be able to open up to someone you can confide in. There seems to be some level of relief to be able to go - there I said it , whatever IT is. You can always stop if you are not getting something out of the sessions.

For me. I never felt that I had a problem so I was never interested in going but my wife forced me after I was busted for wearing pantyhose. At my last session in 2017, I went by myself as Sandi and when I asked my therapist what she thought, she says - I see a woman. Enough said , and I have never felt the need to go back. It is strange how it worked out for me. I hope you benefit from the sessions.


Sandi

[TheHiddenMe]

Good luck, and I hope it helps. What I would caution however is that as much as my therapist helped me accept myself, and feel better about my dressing, it was qctual counter productive because it just made me resent the world outside of those hour long sessions.

I found myself back in a world of shame, where I am not accepted by my wife or others etc.

If you let others decide how you see yourself, I think you need to consider more therapy.

How many "others" know you dress? Have you told them? If you haven't told anyone else, how do you know they don't approve?

Angela, I haven't gone through therapy, but I now have GG friends (ones that I met while dressed or related to dressing) that I can talk to, and it's definitely helped me.

It's not like dressing and transitioning are binary propositions; it's linear. You can decide to present female and not fully transition. Talking to someone may help give you clarity and where you fit on the transgender spectrum.

Good luck.

[crobeson96]

During my career I had the opportunity to deal with a few powerful and successful men in business. One thing they all had in common was they had worked with a therapist at some point in their lives. I came to believe that life even outside major trauma creators like war or systematic abuse leaves us all with difficult feelings we can't resolve.

We're so good at shoveling bad stuff to the rear that many never get the help they need but I've yet to meet someone who wouldn't benefit from talking to a professional.

When it was my turn (a couple of times, actually) I was amazed to find how good my helpers were at finding out something that was bothering me and then helping me to understand and deal with it in a way I'd NEVER have thought of, myself. I had to tell myself that these people are educated and and then do supervised clinical training to learn their job.

It's not a panacea and some therapists might be better than others but there are professionals out there who you'll think of as miracle workers afterward.

[Bruce64]

I wish you the best.

[GretchenM]

A great step, Angela. I always thought you might be trans and that your crossdresser identity was a smoke screen of sorts. It is common for people who identify as crossdressers to eventually discover it is a whole lot deeper than just that. I am not being critical of those who identify with crossdresser - that appears to be a real group but it is also difficult when one is near the fuzzy boundary between the two to tell which you are or if you are in the fuzzy zone and all its ambiguity. I wish you the very best of luck in your therapy. Mine didn't do a lot for me at first but later what I learned about myself in the therapy became a reality where I settled into a non-binary nearly equal blend of male-like and female-like thinking and behavior. I was 66 at the time I began 4 months of therapy. I'm 76 now.

[Nadine Spirit]

Good luck with therapy, I highly recommend it! I started with a couple of different people who said they worked with gender variant people, but it did not really go very well. They both really wanted to focus on my childhood and my anxiety and not anything associated with gender and how all of that was making me feel. I did that for a couple of months, and then a local gender variance specialist was finally able to start seeing me so I switched to her. It all was very much worth my time. And no I did not know I wanted to transition at the time, I just wanted to talk to someone who could reassure me that I was not just a total nut job who needed to be committed.

[kimdl93]

Thinking way back to conversations with my psychologist. After a few frustrating sessions, she asked me what I thought the purpose of therapy was. I responded, rather glibly, that I assumed it was to make me happy. She corrected me immediately by saying No, its to help you accept reality. It stung for a minute, but I got it.