Fantasy vs Reality: How do you cope?

[Aka_Donna]

Fantasy:
We would play games and wife would do makeup for first time and I would take on a new persona and look pretty.

Reality:
Opps, hard products to use:
-- foundation was perfect
-- blush was perfect, but I put on too too heavy
-- eyes: disaster
- eye pencil was driest and uneven
- liquid eye liner was better but didn't know how to clean up errors
- first eye shadow clashed with lipstick
- second eye shadow was invisible
- wife had shakes and couldn't attempt makeup more than 7minutes, so novice me had to take a stab at it
-- red lipstick was too bold
-- wig was not shaped and looked ugly

And yet it was a big milestone to have wife participate in fantasy.

My first inclination is to cut and run:
-dial down lipstick color to mauve, natural color
-learn to do makeup and don't ask wife to help
-skip eye makeup as can't feel it and needing glasses makes it more difficult

But if do that would miss out on
- bold option for lip makeup
- learning eye makeup
- learning what wigs work and which don't. Mine is a Paula Young large cap, but is too tight to enjoy.

So with all that background, here are the questions:

1 -- do you involve spouse/SO in make sessions?

2 -- how do you decide how much makeup?
- just lip color,
- or lips and eyes,
- or full full ball of wax,
- or something in between

3 -- how do you decide whether makeup process is worth the hassle?

4 -- do you use makeup every time you dress?

5 -- How comfortable is spouse/SO with your makeup decisions? If SO has different expectations, how do you reach a working agreement on presentation?

[char GG]

Hubby considers CDing his thing and doesn’t want/need help with makeup. He likes a bold look that will show up in pictures.

[sometimes_miss]

Reality is that I will never look like I thought I was supposed to. I practiced with my elder sister's makeup back when I was in my mid teens, but nothing since then. I had a big birthmark on my face back then, so there was no fixing that, as it was a raised nevus where my eyebrow should be. Even after three surgeries, that area isn't smooth so as to be able to shave it and create an artificial eyebrow with stencils or just freehand, there's just no way for my face to ever look close to normal, and certainly never be pretty. Perhaps had I enough money way back then, and a really good plastic surgeon when I was in my teens, I could have had a pretty face eventually, but back then insurance didn't cover cosmetic surgery. So I reconciled myself to a life of just pretend, and just avoided mirrors for the remainder of my life. So, no makeup. All I can see, is the perspective from my own eyes, and that doesn't include much of my face. In a way I guess I'm lucky, because I don't spend any money on makeup.

[Kris Burton]

When I first came out to my wife, it was my fantasy that she instruct me on how to do makeup. I have always admired her look, and hoped that one day she would show me how she does it. In just a few weeks, she did exactly that She has several "looks" for various occasions, and she taught me a simple everyday look that I can use for any occasion. It includes all the facial areas you mention here, but does not take long or require too much expertise to apply. It is not the look she uses when she gets dressed up to go out, but it works for me right now.When I dress fully, I do makeup too. but I don't always dress fully. I'm now adept and consistent enough at this look that I am beginning to experiment a bit, going for a more dramatic look about the eyes, so it looks like it is time for another makeup lesson. At present, my makeup look is HER look, so the question of different expectations does not come up, and I am not yet skilled enough to vary too far from her tutelage. I am quite fortunate not only in that she is a good teacher (she was a teacher at one point) but that she is willing to teach me. She seems to be having as much fun as I am.

[alwayshave]

Donna,

1. My wife doesn't get involved in my makeup.
2. I always do the full ball of wax. I enjoy doing my makeup.
3. Whether it's worth it depends on the result.
4. Yes.
5. She is fine w with it.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Assuming that I'm going out ...

1. No. There's no way that she'd participate.
2. Full on, except the eyes. I totally mess up eye liner, but it's on my bucket list to learn to do it better.
3. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
4. Yes
5. DADT, She has never seen my makeup.

If I'm not going out, I don't use any makeup. It takes too long to do and it takes too long to remove. But remember, I can't get dressed at all at home.

[kimdl93]

1 -- I did and do my own makeup

2 -- full full ball of wax

3 -- make up is essential.

4 -- almost always

5 -- my EX grew uncomfortable with everything eventually

[Di]

In our life .Sherlyn was the Pro at
makeup not me. She when closeted (before me ) watched tutorials and when getting a bath would lock the door and practice practice
Also cd makeup is different ( not eyes ) but foundation, alot of contouring to look feminine from her guy face, coverup ect.
I barely wear anything mascara and lippy but I do not need much unless a special occasion.
In our life I did ask to have spa days, or I did ask to do her hair ( updos or something fun I saw and also put in curlers.
So really in your case ask her how she felt, did she enjoy it? Get her input-was it fun for her just being something doing together?No woman or wife is the same and every relationship is different .
I know of couples that the wife complained and dreaded it , felt like a chore and resentful of the dressing because of it.
But then there are others that as a couple feel super close and enjoyed it.
That is how I felt with the spa days or hair dresser times. But I asked and was not expected ( I know you are NOT doing that but warning others) You only want to know what other couples do, but ( again) please ask your wife for her input that is all that really matters??IF it was not fun for her there is a lot of other things to do
But ask her to get her input did she enjoy it ? Was there anything else she would like to do? Tell her how much it meant to you being together in this.
Your other questions,we went to wig shops ( in the beginning )far away from home for fittings and we tryed different things out. We bought a human hair wigs so we could cut, style and do anything with. After the wig visit we knew more what to buy and found a seller online we could trust and converse with .
Sher wore makeup every day because of the feminine look she could achieve ( no one would connect her guy look and Sher look . But she have everyday look, glam looks a whole range of things.

One more thing laugh, have fun just enjoy being together, even mistakes can be fun and a learning experience.
lol yes I said over and over ask her but I feel strongly about that Do not make it where she thinks one thing and you are guessing something completely different.

[Cheryl T]

Spouse uses little makeup so she's not involved.
Generally I wear some makeup all the time. I just don't feel right without at least a little mascara and lipstick. As for how I decide how much makeup it depends on the circumstances. If I'm just being a home body then only a little just to make me feel good. If I'm going out then the venue dictates everything. Shopping or to dinner just a basic full face but if it's a special occasion and I'm really dressed up then the makeup must match.

Is it worth the hassle? Yes, oh yes! Just look at pictures of some models or actresses with and without and then ask me if it's worth it. If you want to look your best and your prettiest makeup is a necessity.
How does the spouse feel? She marvels at the fact that I've had no lessons and do what I do.

[NancySue]

1. Only for advice, suggestions and comments. The rest is all me.
2. Almost daily routine: concealer under eyes and lips, eye brows, eyes, touch of mascara, cheeks, lipstick?contour pink.
3. It?s never a hassle.
4. Absolutely, every time
5. Wife is accepting. By now, she rarely has any suggestions.

[DianeT]

This hubby too considers CDing his thing and doesn't want help from wifey. And frankly, the day my wife does my makeup, I'll know another of these extraterrestrial body snatcher invasions has begun.

[Gi Gondin]

1. Almost every time its something we have done together, helping each other. A couple times (usually when she was getting home late) she asked me to surprise her and do my make up by myself. We also enjoy going to a professional artist when dressing for a more fancy setting.

2.She mostly decides the style, but I feel she likes to hear my thoughts about it. most of time we go for full ball of wax but sometimes, even in male mode she asks me to put some lipstick and darken my eyebrows.

3. If we are not too tired from other activities and have 2-3 hours before leaving home, we always go for it.

4. Not at all. usually when we go out.

5. 100% comfortable. We buy make up together, have taken make up lessons. The only thing we still working on this matter is her relaxing during the process. usually she gets anxious about the final result. We experiment a lot in this field also.

[Karren H]

1 -- No - She hates my crossdressing!

2 -- When I got into makeup about 20 years ago, I studied makeup books and online tutorials.

3 -- And I practiced every day for over a year before I was comfortable enough to go out in public enfemme. Joined a womens makeup forum online and after a few months there became a moderator and worked my way up to an assistant administrator. Learned so much there about makeup and fashion.

4 -- No.

5 -- See No 1.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm TERRIBLE with make up!:doh:

That being said? My "face" goes on or off in seconds!:tongueout