Gratitude

[Nikki.]

Last night my wife and I went out for dinner at fairly nice, popular restaurant with friends. This was in the same city I went to college. At one point it was a full house. We had drinks, we ate, we laughed, it was an enjoyable evening. I had a strong cocktail and a glass of wine, so my wife drove home. As we drove, I became swept up in emotion. It’s surreal to me that 25-30 years ago when I was in college, swimming in dysphoria and trying to figure out what it meant and who i was, I read the story of a transwoman living full time in SF, and I was envious of her, but also resigned I would never be able to do the same and have a good career and a family.

And yet, here I was. All those years later, living my life as a woman. I made the reservation in my soon to be legal name. I took voice lessons and speak in a passable voice for a woman. I had ffs 6 months ago. I got zero looks from anyone the entire night (that I’m aware of). When it’s necessary, I tell people I’m trans and my heart doesn’t skip a beat and I don’t get that tight feeling in my stomach any longer. Everyone in my life knows and I don’t have to hide any longer. Most of the anxiety is gone. I just live. Sometimes I’m incredulous this is actually my life.

And so to all those incredibly courageous trans people that came before, some famous and some not, and paved the way for me to live my life, thank you. Regardless of their politics and social positions and whatever else, thank you. Thank you to Kristin Beck, Caitlyn, Jenny Boylan, Laverne Cox(extra thanks for Disclosure Laverne), ContraPoints, Danica Rohm, Sarah McBride, the Wachowski sisters, Rachel Levine and all the rest.

Thank you to the medical community that chooses to specialize in trans healthcare, so those of us that need or choose medical intervention can do so. Thank you to the trans allies, and to the average person who chooses to treat us no differently than anyone else.

Me? I plan to live openly and courageously to continue to help educate the world on a 1:1 basis we are just regular people that happen to be trans.

Happy Holidays!

[AllieSF]

Oh Nikki, what a wonderful post. We have come a long way Baby!!!!

I am thankful too for all the things you mentioned, plus all the trans (crossdresser, genderqueer and transsexual women and men that I have met along my journey.

I especially like your comments about how comfortable you feel being you, and how coming out to everyone has given you that new freedom.

Thank you for being my friend!

Happy holidays to you, your family and all the rest here on this site.

Hugs and stuff,

Allie

[Nikki.]

You are in that list my friend! Like you did for so many others, you helped me take those first steps outside the house and helped me to be free! I hope you have a lovely holiday season and we can get together soon!

[AndrogynousBandy]

I would say that I'm thankful for my bestie. I think us reconnecting bought me some time after Hurricane Ida, in order for me to have a future on what to connect with in life.

[Jeri Ann]

What a cool post.

When all of your particular boxes have been checked you are equipped to do life as your best self.

Welcome to the club Nikki.

[Brenda456]

A wonderful post. Thank you.

[Lana Mae]

Where you are! 24/7/365! Just being me and living my life! Thanks to all of those who helped thru out the years! Hugs Lana Mae A special shout to Ro-RIP!

[Katya@]

Thank you to the medical community that chooses to specialize in trans healthcare, so those of us that need or choose medical intervention can do so. Thank you to the trans allies, and to the average person who chooses to treat us no differently than anyone else.

Hi Nikki,
I'm soooo happy for you! You're a wonderful person and it is great that you found happiness and meaning. I also cherish our friendship more than what I can put in words here!

The reason I quoted this part of your post is that just last night, I thought about something similar. More specifically, I just thought about how many cis-people I know, who decided to dedicate their lives to make the lives of trans people better. For example, in Facialteam where I'm getting my FFS done, it struck me when I listened to one of the surgeons describing how they decided to narrow their focus on trans women only, as they saw a huge impact on our lives from these surgeries that 15 years ago, few took seriously. Their colleagues told them it's foolish to narrow the effort on one type of surgery for small group of people. And now, there are like 80 or more doctors, nurses, and staff in that center who dedicate their professional careers to help us, trans woman.
I'm equally inspired by a group of Speech Pathalogist I work with, who have been working for several years now on an app to help trans people to train their voice to match their gender identity. They had so many areas to pursue, and yet, they decided this is important.
In short, it is so inspiring to me. Next time I feel down because of someone being a transphobic, I need to remember hundreds of great people I know, who work tirelessly to improve our lives.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I'm equally inspired by a group of Speech Pathalogist I work with, who have been working for several years now on an app to help trans people to train their voice to match their gender identity. They had so many areas to pursue, and yet, they decided this is important.
In short, it is so inspiring to me. Next time I feel down because of someone being a transphobic, I need to remember hundreds of great people I know, who work tirelessly to improve our lives.

Don't you find your electrologist inspiring as well? :heehee:

[Dorit]

Thank you Nikki for such a beautiful post!:o You eloquently described my life too. Sometime I feel I should pinch myself to make sure this is not just a dream.

[Katya@]

Don't you find your electrologist inspiring as well? :heehee:
Vickie - sure! Although mine is queer so she doesn't count :heehee: