Dressing seems to come and go

[JenniferZ]

There is no question I am a crossdresser and have been since I was very young. And I love it. I'm wondering if anyone else finds the urge to dress comes and goes? For the last six months I just haven't been into it and in the past week that's all I can think about. I have been shopping on Amazon and various department stores and looking at new bras, pantyhose, dresses, breast plates and wigs and the list goes on. My wife and I are planning a week away and I want to bring all of my girl stuff with us.

[RADER]

Yes, I went through the same thing when I was younger. I could go a year without even looking at a dress.
Then all I wanted to do was to live in Woman's clothes. Now that I am retired, I can be dressed around the
house all day. And I love it.

[Megan Nicole]

Same here. When I was younger I would dress more during the winter and less during the summer. Don?t know why, but I was very aware of it back then. As I have matured into my mid 50?s, I definitely underdress during all seasons, and dress when I have the opportunity. I seem to care less these days of what others may think about my clothing choices. Winter is still my hottest time to dress. I do understand your question and have had those long hot and cold spells myself back in the day.

Meg

[Geena75]

It really does come and go. Right now I'm in the thick of a long time into it, and part of me looks forward to the "go" aspect. Most likely, I will leave it in the spring when outside work builds up.

[Karren H]

Mine has been pretty solidly on full blast for the last 20 years except for a few times. Once while on a week long business trip where I was enfemme almost every day, I lost the urge and actually had to force myself to crossdress! Lol. When I was younger it came a went a lot more but a couple 3 decades ago it just faded away to almost nothing for almost 10 years. Found I had a medical condition that was suppressing my desires (and a lot of other stuff) and when corrected, crossdressing came back with a vengeance!!

[Linda K.]

I experience a lot of "ebb and flow" in my desire to dress. Back in November, the urge was so strong all I did in my free time was to shop for clothing on Amazon. Right now, things have calmed down for me but I still have a mild urge to dress, it is 2300 hours right now and my roommate is in bed, Linda time! :) The feelings come on very strong and then there are times when I have no desire to dress at all. I think the pink fog hits us all!

[Rachelakld]

it's summer here, which means wigs after 9am will cause you to sweat your make up off if your not in an aircon shop.
I used to love summer, my cupboard is full of summer dresses, but 3 months in and I haven't worn one yet.

[Elizabeth G]

In my younger days the desire to dress would sometimes go away for significant stretches, I'm talking a year or more. Airliner after I turned 50 it came roaring back with a vengeance and had not left since. Dressing and gender related issues are literally one of the first conscious thoughts in my mind every day when I wake up.

[Kris Burton]

I think a lot of the ebb and flow described in this thread has a lot to do with what is going on in our lives at the moment. Some have described crossdressing as a relaxing activity that relieves stress. I find I have the urge when I am most stable or stress free. I finally addressed my CD desires as I recovered from a long illness, and came barreling forward as the recovery continued. When I am alone with no other real stressors, that's when the desire is most strong, and I no longer even try to fight it off, I just go with the joy it brings. However, if I cannot dress for one reason or another, or if plans to dress must change, I am OK...I'll just wait for the next stable time, and it will feel that much better. And talking about it, writing about it, reading about it or searching Amazon for lovely things...that's part of the whole experience as well, so it's never too far away!

[Debbie Denier]

It was very strong teens to age 28.Got married had kids rarely had the urge. Came back with a vengeance in my late 40s early 50s. Think about it it constantly even though opportunities are limited.

[JennB]

Definitely some ups and downs for me. Some of it relates to how busy I am with things that distract me and take my time up doing other things. Not that crossdressing is "just a hobby" for me at all (or for others I know), but if I am tied up with work and the time allows me to enjoy many of my other hobbies, I don't tend to dress as much. Doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind while I am out doing other things, but if the time is dedicated to other things, I don't make the time for dressing. When I am working from home, have more down time, or otherwise have more time to indulge my desire to dress, it seems to increase. To a great deal, while the desire is there most of the time, the availability of time to indulge it increases the liklihood.

[Mermaiden]

My dressing and desire to dress certainly has its cycles, but it?s never completely gone. I think over time it has established a permanence somewhere deep inside of me.

[alwayshave]

Last year, around this time, I became particularly depressed and my need to dress went away. Once the depression went away, my need to dress came back.

[Teri Ray]

I also find my desire to dress is akin to a sign wave. Sometimes strong and postive and at others not so much. I rarely go through a day without some thoughts of dressing but the urge to act on those thoughts is sometimes non existant. I believe it is part of a natural cycle of life. Enjoy your desire and time to dress when it occurs and don't worry if your desire wanes. If you truly have this desire in your life it may fade with time but its rare that it will ever go away completely.

[GretchenM]

My dressing comes and goes just like most of us. But my sense of a female-like identity is almost always there in some form or other. Nobody knows exactly why this happens but it is true of everybody in one way or another. But we are a bit different from most "normal" people who also have their ups and downs with regard to clothes and gender expression. Because we tend to be inherently more variable in our gender sense it is only natural that we would have more variations in expression. Once again, we are all different in various ways and that shows in our behavior in a multitude of ways. Some people vary around a narrow range of changes; others have a much broader range. Variation is normal unless it becomes pathological, but what is pathological is a value judgement and mostly based on morals and ethics. It is a problem when the variations become hurtful, violent or even deadly to others.

Kris pointed out that it tends to vary depending on what is going on in our lives. That, according to the experts in gender behavior and psychology, is what seems to cause us to vary in our gender sense and therefore our gender expression. It goes with the territory. Even the so called transexuals (I personally do not like that term) have variability around a median that is very gender reversed. It is part of what many view as the gender spectrum. It is not really a spectrum in the sense of the color spectrum but is multi-dimensional and more like a mosaic.

All that said, for many of us it can be a very confusing variability that is hard to deal with primarily because our expectation is that it should be more constant and continuous. We tend to view the masses as being more stable, but in fact nobody is constant and stable. It comes in degrees of stability and we happen to show more variation - somebody has to because we are living things and living things vary a great deal. The living are always exploring, experimenting, trying new things, rejecting some, accepting others. But we just do that more and, in some ways, it is a gift and in others it is a problem. Nothing biological is constant. Accept thyself and have a ball.

[CDLagras]

when i dont have many time to dress up, the urge seems to be stronger..

[NancySue]

Same with me. During high school, college, and my military stint, the ?pink fog? would occasionally roll in. In my late 20?s, my desire and need to dress became very intense for which I often, underdressed. It worked.

[rhonda]

It's just plain crazy

[Stephanie47]

I think one has to delve into the reasons why one chooses to be en femme in the first place. The big "Why?" Is it a stress reliever? A way to escape from male responsibilities? Does it have anything to do with the ebb and flow of hormones? When I was a young teenager, when hormones were raging there was a heavy sexual component to wearing my mother's lingerie. When I was in the military there were different hormones raging within me; hormones of survival. I had not desire to do anything other than to be focused on keeping alive. Later, and for many decades, there was the constant bullshit of a high stress job. Dealing with clients. Dealing with production goals. All, totally meaningless crap. That's when I sought refuge in becoming my alter ego; an alternative self. Along the way, when it was not possible to dress but for a few hours when my wife and kids were at church on Sundays, I engaged in retail therapy. I was into buying my first love; full slips. Why the heck would I have acquired over 400 full slips. It was ridiculous. I acquired 162 dresses; yes, I have a word document annotating those dresses.

When my wife was still working after I retired it was femme time, anytime. I was "June Cleaver" taking care of the home; domestic chores, cooking, baking, ironing, laundry, etc. When I knew I was going to have time to be en femme and not stressed out, it became as simple as putting on a dress, hosiery and heels. Now my wife is fully retired and Covid has sequestered us at home; joined at the hip, there is no time to fully express myself. I have taken up sleeping in nightgowns, bra and or slip as my wife and I sleep apart for medical reasons. She is a late riser, while I get up around 7:00 AM. Under my fluffy male ankle length bathroom I do have the opportunity to be somewhat en femme; bra, panty, slip and a summery midi dress. That takes the edge off the need. I'd love to be able to toss the bathrobe aside and don one of my wigs and spend the day as "June Cleaver." But, alas, that is not in the future.

When my wife took out of state trips to visit our daughter or her cousin for seven to ten days the routine was so relaxing; Get out of bed and dress en drab or en femme depending upon I felt on any particular day. It was so easy to slide back and forth; ebb and flow without any encumbrances. When I log off this site I'll probably peruse Amazon to check for any sales on nylon nightgowns; like I need another one with 28 in my armoire and large gift box. Oh, the life of being denied!

[Jenn A116]

Yes, the desire to dress comes and goes for me too. I underwent a long period of not being able to dress during the shutdown. Now circumstances have changed and I can dress. At first I went a bit overboard, doing it daily. After a few weeks it became less pressing of a desire. Now I'm more like once a week.

[kimdl93]

I guess there is nothing wrong with the transitory nature of desire. As so many have observed, that need may ebb and flow, but it doesn?t go away

[CynthiaD]

I wear female clothing all the time except for special occasions. For me it’s not a matter of desire, it’s just a matter of getting up and getting dressed.

[Traceyjo]

Seems like I am the only one who doesn't experience ebbs and flows . For me it just always flows. These days I have the chance to dress usually once a week . I always look forward to it enthusiastically and never miss the opportunity. I have great pleasure every time. I have experienced this constant desire to dress ever since I started 30 years ago . I find any extended period without dressing is difficult to endure but it does not have any detrimental effect on me mentally.
Must be some other girls out there who feel this way

[Nadia Wren]

In my DADT situation, I dress when I have an opportunity, even if I don't feel like it. I never regret it.
The pink fog does roll in and linger in the transitory seasons of spring and autumn. It always has in the last 15 years or so.

[Ricky Rayne]

Mine is the same way!! I just go with the flow. I keep sexy clothes and reserved clothes and everyday bars and panties to accommodate whatever the mood, whenever the mood strikes.. I don't fight it and I don't force it. I just let it be me whenever that may be!

[Majella St Gerard]

For the past 2 weeks, I just haven't had the energy to dress up on my second day off, I just relaxed. I dressed up and went out on Monday but I wasn't really feeling it. Plus I'm not happy with the Christmas weight I gained.

[abbymiller]

I find this to be true with pretty much every interest in life! I go through cycles of being very interested in a topic, then not thinking about it for a while while I do other things. There are just too many cool things in life and not enough time

[Cheryl T]

The desire used to wax and wane but that was 20+ years ago.
Now it's always with me and it's part of my daily life.

[Jane G]

Dressing has always been a regular consistent things in my life. There where times when I was in the navy that it was difficult, but never a time when I have thought, I don't need to dress. One thing that has occurred, as I have aged, is that I don't need to be in any particular mood to dress. I just do because it's part of who I am I guess. Plus I have the time since I retired.

[*Cindy*]

I am one who hasn't been able to dress fully in a year and it's not any fun not knowing when I can. My wife hates my crossdressing and would be gone if she knew I still did. Its like having 2 girlfriends and always wanting both of them for the joy each brings. The closet is feeling claustrophobic on closing in. I just need some support for sister who have worked through.

[Veronica Lacey]

Past experiences played to the ebb and flow of urges although usually in shorter cycles of week to week rather than several months at a time. These past 10+ years I generally find that the desire of what to wear really is more to the tune of What do I feel like wearing today? rather than what's exciting with the odd exception.

The clothes are just clothes although some more exciting to wear than others (a suit or a satin dress may seem more exciting than a tank and skirt or a t-shirt and jeans because it usually means doing something more interesting than mowing the lawn or going for a walk.) Some days I feel that jean shorts and a t-shirt lounging about the house is fine while other times wearing lingerie with a skirt, blouse and low heels while I watch a movie is preferred.

Although I can find something to appreciate and like about almost anything I wear, "male" or "female", it really is just how I'm feeling in the moment.

[Tina81]

I always wondered if other CDs had the same feeling as me. Sometimes that urge is so strong that I just have to put on a bra/panties, pantyhose and a skirt/blouse or dress along with bracelets. I've read it that dressing up is suppose to relax you when stressed; however, I'm not sure sometimes I dress up when I'm stressed out and sometimes when I'm totally relaxed. During the urge, at a minimum I will underdress, wearing panties and pantyhose. This urge is this what they refer to as "the Pink fog"?