What will the reaction be?

[Janet_Johnson_cd]

Hi Girls, i've been thinkingf to my self about what would happen if i appeared as Janet infront of my Mum? What would the reaction be.

[Julie Avery]

Janet, I would think that talking about it would be a better way to begin.

[Janet_Johnson_cd]

Janet, I would think that talking about it would be a better way to begin.

Why? I thought actions would be better.

[Julie Avery]

Don't you think, if she knows nothing at all about your dressing, that it would be easier for her to talk about it, rather than having the first time it comes to her attention be actually seeing it? That's what I'm thinking.

[Julie York]

It's always better to say....."How would you feel if I killed someone Mum?"......than........ "Guess who I killed today Mum".

Your method is known as the "Tadaaa" method, (so named by famous CD psychologist Dame Julie York) and does more harm than good. Break it to her slooooowly....if at all! In fact......why tell her anyway? Do you really feel it would make you happier?

[ChrissyGG]

I would bring it up in conversation in joking manner first and see how she reacts. Too much too fast can be a huge shock especially on the older person. Good luck!

[Nastasha]

Besides .. she may already have an idea that you dress .. definitely talk to her first.

[Shelly Preston]

Are you mad !!!!!!!!!!

Talk to your mother first about crossdressing.

It may not be as easy as you hope it is going to be. I hope you have considered all the questions she may ask.

Then if all goes well progress on to telling her.
your may want to show her a photgraph before she sees you dressed.

Good Luck

[TGKrissyCD]

At your age, 21, you should know what position your mum takes on such issues as crossdressing, the transgender lifestyle, etc. There is enought television coverage, both drama and news items currently, that one cannot be totally in the dark about the subject. Is it to make you feel better or is it to satisfy an inquiry of your mum? You did not leave undies and lingerie items in your take home laundry bag did you? If you think it would have a serious reaction between you and your mother - why bring it up at all. My favorite aunt knows about me, but her sister, my mother, does not. I know my mother has a different moral outlook than her sister, therefore I let the sleeping dog lie.

[Miriannah]

Wow, don't just go "hey look ma, I'm in a dress today" unless you want to send her reeling in shock. What I've been doing with my family and friends is just make occasional jokes about it at first, and gradually do it more often as the weeks and months go by.

I work at Target, and when I am dealing with 'abandons' (items people were going to buy, but just tossed aside for us to deal with at the last minute) of when we're closed and straightening the shelves, I'll jokingly say "does this make my ass look big," "is this color me, or should I go with the black one," etc. As for around the house, my mom made my sister & her friends Fembot costumes last halloween, and I was like "hey, where's mine?" It's things like that which will gradually get people in the frame of mind to accept the truth when you're ready to tell it. In fact, I could probably tell my co-workers and pretty much expect something like "somehow I'm not surprised." :)

[Janet_Johnson_cd]

Are you mad !!!!!!!!!!

Talk to your mother first about crossdressing.

It may not be as easy as you hope it is going to be. I hope you have considered all the questions she may ask.

Then if all goes well progress on to telling her.
your may want to show her a photgraph before she sees you dressed.

Good Luck

Thats just it, she's not asked any questrions at all.

[HaleyPink2000]

You know how they say always be honest with your Wife and keep no secrets? Right? HUH? HMMM?

Ok, then what about Mothers, Their not worthy of your trust? HUH?

Oh and like I was told Women are not all bad. LOL:)
She can only Kill ya once. :)

Yep , ya gota Love em.

[Josi]

I hope this isnt insensitive of me Janet ... but have to say you sound rather insensitive about your mother too.

My first impression is that you sound a tad child like "all about me,me,me" - wanting to communicate "child to adult" - "Mum, look at me" style and not thinking about communicating adult to adult.

"Them wot know" suggest that successful communication works when adults relate to each other at the same level.

Believe me, I understand the need inside to be known for "who I am", BUT
MY needs are NOT paramount. Same for you.

Be sensitive to your mother's needs and not selfishly absorbed in what YOU want.

If you feel it is so important that your mum should know .. then I suggest you consider talking her through it first, perhaps have some pictures for her to see ... then PERHAPS offer to intoduce her to Janet.

Kind regards, tread carefully
Josi

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Girls, i've been thinkingf to my self about what would happen if i appeared as Janet infront of my Mum? What would the reaction be.
A Tad selfish wouldn't you say. As has already been said, I think talking would be a much gentler kinder way dont you?
BEVxxx

[Toni]

You must be off your chuff - it's bad enough getting "caught" by someone who doesn't know, without making a total tit out of yourself in front of your mother. Speak to her first, don't give her a bleedin' heart attack.

[Wombat]

Don't tell anyone unless you need to. Seriously - I've done more damage over the years by telling people who didn't really need to know than by anything else.

Part of that is the attitude of the person you're telling. Hint, raise the subject, try anything to get a rise, then see how she reacts. If it's clear she's going to be negative, and at this time, she doesn't need to know, why hurt her? Of course, hinting etc isn't a reliable indicator, I'm sure we all know stories where the person was misjudged (positively and negatively), but you need to start somewhere.

And I hope it goes without saying, but if someone does NEED to know, you don't hesitate, take a deep breath and cop whatever fall out happens.

In any situation though, take it gently and tell them gently. Use hints and questions to lead into onto the subject, because it doesn't matter how understanding the other person is, their initial reaction will be the most important and shock does horrible things to a person's thinking.

Wombat

[Janet_Johnson_cd]

A Tad selfish wouldn't you say. As has already been said, I think talking would be a much gentler kinder way dont you?
BEVxxx

I think your right, i'll just talk to her. cheers! ;)