Stupid question?

[DeeDee67]

When I start getting ready to be Dee Dee, I get very excited. Is it sexual or sensual? I don't wanna be with a male figure but I get so pre- climactic. I don't understand. Anyone else?

[Kris Burton]

Always - euphoric too. I don't try to understand, I just enjoy. It's a great feeling, isn't it?

[Helen_Highwater]

Dan,

It's something so many of us have experienced in the early years of our dressing. I guess you could consider it as our associating the clothing with female sexuality as we in some way become the woman we desire.

Most here will say that it's something that fades away as your dressing progresses and you become more confident and frankly just better at dressing. What was forbidden fruit, bras and knickers become just your underwear. As Eddie Izzard says; "They're not women's clothes, they're my clothes".

It doesn't stop you feeling sensual. In the same way a GG having got dressed for a night out might look in the mirror and see a sexy lady looking back, we can experience the same. Us with all the curves in all the right places, great looking legs, what's not to like and feel good about?

And while your emotions may change, be assured that what you loose in one respect gets made up for in others.

[Ricky Rayne]

I think you are finally getting to explore a part of you, Yeah it excites you, as it should . But you get to be YOU. You get dressed , take that deep breath and exhale and that calmness comes over you. That's you getting to be you and it can be very exciting.

[Geena75]

I often feel the same way. I'd suggest it is a combination of sexual and sensual. Sensual in that much of women's clothing feels so good to wear -- panties, nylons, slips. Sexual perhaps in this sense: When you get really dressed up it is probably the second most intimate female relationship there is.

[docrobbysherry]

Dan, it's not a stupid question. But, I had to look it up to understand it. Because I always thot sensual WAS sexual!?:o


sen?su?al
/ˈsen(t)SH(o͞o)əl/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
relating to or involving gratification of the senses and physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

If u meant dressing turns u on? Ha ha! Welcome to the club!:heehee:

[Jessica Secret]

Definitely not a dumb question at all Dan. I get extremely excited sexually about becoming Jess when I slip into gorgeous lingerie for bed every night, and I have a boyfriend to wear it for which makes it even more thrilling and sexual for me.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Dee Dee, I have exactly the same reaction, and for me it's explained by Helen's first paragraph above. In my younger days it was much stronger (I'm in my 60s), but even now maybe half the time while I'm getting dressed or putting on makeup I feel the arousal, with an emphasis on the "pre-climactic." I of course enjoy that but also the times when I can just become feminine and lounge around en femme for awhile (or underdressed all day!).

[nicolegurl]

I also become become excited and sensual/sexual when getting dressed. There are a lot of reasons I suppose but I am not one to do a lot of analysis. I would say though it?s based a lot on lack of frequency of dressing, anticipation, and usually I will dress in something that makes me feel sexy.

[GretchenM]

Not a dumb question at all. In our world there are very few dumb questions if you are asking about your experiences that drive or result in your becoming the person attached to your alternate identity or your true identity. Whichever way it is for you.

Long ago it was often quite sexual, but after a few decades and certainly now it is rarely sexual and not really all that sensual. Dressing, even if it is just a little, is calming, peaceful, and just feels right. It satisfies the female-like portion of my total identity which is now a major part of who I am no matter what clothes I am wearing. In the past Gretchen came and went; now she is there all the time as a partner to my male-like identity. A collaboration of a sort. Thus, I mostly dress in a mild androgynous way because I have finally discovered that is the nature of who I am as a person. I do enjoy going to the maximum once in awhile - a great while - because it is all a part of this curious behavior we engage in.

Does everybody achieve this point? Not hardly. We all follow our own paths as our understanding and experience grows. But for me it seems to be the ultimate outcome of a life long struggle. Life is good now. I am 76 and I could stay this way for the rest of my life and be quite content. But I may not - time will tell.

[alwayshave]

Dee Dee, I still get turned on dressing, not in a sexual way, but senual works. I just love the feeling.

[Debbie Denier]

I would say sensual. All about the feeling.

[Maria 60]

First of all there's never a stupid question. My wife just made a comment last week when she asked me to try on one of her skirts to see how it looked on me. When I pulled my pants down to try on the skirt I was already arousded, she said I get arousded just of the idea I'm going to wear something fem. I can't help it, I love it.

[DeeDee67]

Oh thank goodness! Thank you ladies for sharing 🙂
Hope you have a wonderful day

[DanielleCD]

When I was a teenager or in my 20's it was very sexual.... as I've grown older it more of a feminine sensual thing. You're experiencing something similar and is perfectly normal.

[CynthiaD]

It’s a very powerful feeling that’s so intense it feels sexual. It fades with time, but never completely goes away, even if you dress every day. It’s more a feeling of being your true self. I still get a thrill standing in front of the mirror in my wig, bra and panties. I’m seeing my true self not some strange person I hardly recognize.

Of course I’m speaking only for myself. Every cross dresser has her own reasons for crossdressing, and it’s all good.

[LydiaL]

For me, having dressed a long time, most times now putting on a dress or mini skirt and top, etc. means any "excitement" is short lived. However, if I put on a baby doll or short nighty, my imagination then goes completely wild and "excitement" is inevitable.

[Larissa Cassandra]

When I pulled my pants down to try on the skirt I was already arousded, she said I get arousded just of the idea I'm going to wear something fem. I can't help it, I love it.

This reminded me that I sometimes start to get aroused while shopping in the women's department, in anticipation of wearing the items I buy, so I have to mentally switch gears to stop it!

[Wendy-Lyn]

For me, it depends on the setting and the motivation.

On the one hand, when I get up, I pull on a bra, cami and t-shirt and a pair of jeans and get on with my day, so it feels perfectly normal. There is no thrill, arousal or frisson of excitement - I'm just getting up and dressed, as we all do every morning.

But on the other hand, when I shave, get into some sexy lingerie, a nice dress and shoes, and put the wig and a bit of makeup on and a dab or two of perfume then yes. The frisson and excitement is definitely there, and is very sensual. BUT - it's not necessarily (or often) a SEXUAL thrill, at least not primarily. Sexual arousal may or may not come later depending on any number of factors, some planned and others more unpredictable.

EDIT: @ Larissa; Oh dear! Yes, I've done that too on a couple of occasions, and felt very embarrassed. No harm done, though, and as you say I just shifted gears mentally and started thinking about something else. Some things do look so incredibly cute or sexy though.

@ Lydia; Oh, yes. I love looking down at myself (or in the big mirror in my bathroom) in my little black baby-doll, black bralette and black lace-fronted panties. It just looks and feels so sensual and 'right'. I would love a partner who's willing to accept this as my 'normal' sleepwear, although it's not an essential part of my lovemaking.

[ShirleyN]

Hi Dan. Not that's not a stupid question at all. The same happens to me when I get dressed as Shirley. This is a bery common thing with crossing and just thinking about it, can also trigger these feelings.
Is sexual or sensual?
From my own experience , probably a little bit more sexually arousing than sensual but I have had those feeling of sensuality as well.
I don't know what exactly it is but there's just something about the softness of the fabric of female clothing that for some reason, just manages to generate that level of 'excitement' so in answer to the question, I'd sya that maybe its a little bit of both.

[Heather76]

In my adult years on the somewhat rare occasions I'd put my wife's pantyhose on, it always resulted in a quick and total arousal. I only tried them on in secret so was able to satisfy myself rather quickly. However, since losing my prostate to cancer in 2007, physical arousal is no longer an issue. What I actually feel the most is a sense of absolute contentment and calm. I've no idea why I have that reaction as I honestly have no interest whatsoever in transitioning or being a woman. I don't care for anyone other than my wife to ever see me dressing. I'd never go out in public fully dressed. I do, however, enjoy being dressed under when out. There is nothing (to me) that feels as nice as wearing a bra(lette), panties, and stockings.

[Cheryl T]

Probably it's both.
Early on for me it was almost always sexual. As time passed I found that dissipated and was replaced by a feeling of sensuality.

[Debs]

I feel far more attractive as a female then I do as a Male, which also boosts my confidence, and makes me want to dress more.

[Jolene G]

I am new to this and feel the same way.

[Linda K.]

I am more about the sensual feeling like some of the others. When I was younger it was for purely sexual arousal. Now, I just love the feeling of being Linda!

Jolene G - Welcome to the forum. I hope to see a lot of posts from you!

[Sometimes Steffi]

The first time I tried on my mom's panties, I got very aroused, both pre-climatic and climatic. At 12, I think that it gets wired into the brain and never goes away. As an engineer, I would say it becomes firmware (pun intended) not software (pun also intended).

This is the first time I realized how punny the analogy is.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Hi Dan and Dee Dee,

Your feelings of arousal are perfectly normal for the large majority of males who crossdress. But since crossdressing is typically driven by a complex mixture of motives, figuring out where the feelings come from can be a confusing challenge, especially if you?re new to this. So what you asked is not a ?stupid? question in the least.

Some people say ?never mind why you do it; just enjoy!? I on the other hand like to analyze things and understand ?why.? The point is not to ?get worried? about why we do it, only to understand ourselves. To ?analyze? means to break something down into its component parts, and there can certainly be a spectrum of reasons why we enjoy crossdressing, or even need to do it.

At one end of this spectrum is the fetishistic attraction of the clothes themselves, which is purely erotic. A fetish object, such as panties and other female garments, is something we associate with women, and can be excited by in the same way we would find a woman exciting. So putting on women?s clothes and women?s underwear can be as arousing as being in intimate contact with an actual woman. This is how I saw myself initially, though there was more to it than that. But some men have a fetishistic attraction to various items of women?s clothing without wanting to crossdress fully or truly experience femininity.

There is a great deal of tactile pleasure in wearing women?s clothing: the silkiness or panties or a slip (like the smoothness of a woman?s skin), the feeling of legs in nylons, the hug of a bra and the feeling of having ?breasts,? or of feet ?jacked up? on high heels into a more feminine body posture/ The connection between ?sensuality? and ?sexual arousal? is a close one.

At the other end of this spectrum, much crossdressing is simply about experiencing, expressing and enjoying the feminine side of the personality. This in itself is nonsexual, in an erotic sense at least. For some, it?s not just ?embracing the feminine? but also ?escaping the masculine,? with which they either do not identify at all, or at least see as a relief, temporary or otherwise, from the burdens they perceive to be imposed on masculinity. For either of these reasons, crossdressing is relaxing and pleasant, or sometimes desperately needed as a ?permanent solution.?

We can all have some widely variable mixture of these motives inside ourselves. What makes it more complicated still is that there?s a huge overlap between them The very illusion of ?being a woman,? dressed as a woman, can be erotic in itself. Why exactly? The reasons are complex.

For one, there?s a theory about a phenomenon called ?autogynephilia,? which holds that the crossdresser is simply aroused by the vision of ?herself? as an attractive woman, as she would be by an actual woman. Not everybody agrees with this theory, but a number of crossdressers do get turned on at seeing themselves looking sexy in their mirror. So that?s not the whole story, but it can be one piece of the puzzle.

Along with this, being dressed as a woman can enable the erotic fantasy of having sex in the role of a woman. This doesn?t have to mean sex with a man. It could be a fantasy of lesbian sex, though some are admittedly attracted to the fantasy of a male partner. If they are, even this doesn?t necessarily mean they?re gay (androphilic) or even bisexual, although some are. It can simply be a fantasy I call ?transex? that they wouldn?t dream of indulging in while seeing themselves in a male role; only as female.

Another detail of this is that androphilia (sexual attraction to men) is not necessarily a monolithic phenomenon. It can have independent component parts of its own, which are not necessarily aligned. Many crossdressers enjoy being appreciated by men and seen as attractive by men. Some have romantic fantasies of being dated and ?treated as a woman? by men, but that?s as far as it goes. They do not want sex with men. They have no interest in what some politely refer to as ?men?s parts.? Yet with some it?s the other way round. They are attracted to the notion (at least) of sex with a ?phallic partner,? which could be a man, but in other respects could be a female figure. This is best called ?phallophilia,? but is associated with a ?feminine? wish to play a ?submissive? or ?receiving? role in sex. In this case sex with a man may seem arousing in some ways, but that?s all. It doesn?t have to mean wanting to ?be with? a male partner in broader ways, or being ?gay? in the holistic sense of the word.

In short, it?s all a big mishmash of frequently conflicting urges. No wonder some people struggle with questions about their sexuality. Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, what the heck! I refer to all this as ?mixtuality.? But for the purpose of this discussion, the bottom line is that crossdressing can be arousing because it enables any or all of these erotic fantasies.

Apart from that, I have an idea that women can find the realization of being attractive sexually arousing in itself. The same may apply to anyone who enjoys expressing their own ?feminine side.? For instance, I recall a treasured girlfriend of long ago telling me once that she ?felt so sexy in her slip.? She looked sexy too! I have to contrast this with my male side. I can certainly enjoy ?looking smart? when well dressed as a man--and hopefully attractive to women!--but to me there?s nothing ?erotic? or sexually arousing about it. It?s simply a feeling of ?masculine pride.? Dressing as a woman on the other hand is definitely a turn-on. As a female, or when expressing a feminine side of the personality, it might be different, and ?feeling attractive? in feminine guise may be erotic, or ?autoerotic,? in itself. It would be interesting to hear if any of our GGs would like to comment on that.

In summary, in the middle of the spectrum I spoke of there?s a great deal of crossover between the feeling of being feminine and erotic arousal. We are all a mixture of elements (like Shakespeare?s Brutus), and which parts might apply to you are a matter for personal exploration. But certainly ?getting turned on? by crossdressing is completely normal and something to be expected, regardless of the reason for it! I hope something in all this will help you discover more of yourself.

P.S. My tax accountant in nicknamed ?DeeDee,? though her real name is something else. She?s smart and fun and at late middle age is still very attractive.

[ziggie]

I'll echo the statements others have made. Early on it was sexual (wasn't everything?) but, as time went on I shifted to an appreciation of the nice feeling I get from feminine garb.

[Lacey New]

Early on when I was a young teen. Just seein a pair of law ties was sexual. Later on, wearing Pattie?s was enhanced by more lingerie and ultimately outerwear as well. And it always had a sexual element to it. Nowadays, it is still,there but just take a little bit more to get things started.

[Erin Lafleur]

When I first started wearing my Mom's panties and slips as a little boy, it was definitely arousing for me. I hesitate to call my response sexual or erotic because I was too young to even know what sex was. I just knew that it felt really good and I had a very strong physical response immediately.
I still do, to a point. I'd be fibbing if I didn't say that there is still an erotic component to my dressing and I'm definitely ok with that. It's certainly a significant part of why I enjoy feminizing.

[Alice Dore]

Firs years of crosdressing it was also arousing, but there always were some other, unique feeling which never comes with sex. Like I'm angel ready to fly. During years it's more like sensual (like the feeling I'm what I am + deep satisfaction about it)

[Fiona_44]

For me 75% of the time it is an extremely sensual experience to dress up. It is such a lovely feeling to put on lingerie and a dress and just immerse myself in that feminine aura. The other 25% is purely sexual.

[1Ladyjade]

For me it's sensual. I love the feeling of calm that comes over me. I was driving one day in drab. And I just had the overwhelming desire to be dressed in my mini skirt and having the hem riding my thighs. I didn't want stockings to get in the way of that skirt. I had to wait for the weekend to be over so I could get to my friends house and put on that skirt.
She chuckled as I ran in the door and straight to the bedroom so I could get that skirt on.

[StacyG]

This is why I love the forum. We can all relate to one another. Certainly isn't a stupid question. I wonder how many GGs get turned on when they get dressed or do they take it for granted. I know most women have outfits they feel sexy in.

[sometimes_miss]

Not really sexual or sensual, but more a feeling of relief to be wearing what I thought I was supposed to be wearing; I always felt like I was wearing a costume of sorts, when dressed as a boy.

[Beverley Sims]

Not a stupid question, it shows that you are enjoying what you do.

Just look at the myriad of answers to your question.