I have been outed to the world

[Sidney]

Well my wife accidentally outed me to just about everyone we know, family and friends. My wife is very supportive of my dressing. I have post here on some of our adventures out with me dressed. I dress fem everyday unless I know a family member or a long time friend are coming over that I know could not deal with Sidney.. So it seems that she thought she was taking a picture of a gift my son had given me. Well she was actually taking a video of the gift and when she put the phone down unknowing was pointed at me sitting on the sofa in my fem night gown half way up my thigh, legs crossed with black slippers and one foot and leg just kind of bobbing around for about 15 seconds. Still not realizing she had just made a video of me she posted on Facebook for ALL family and friends to see. About an hour later my youngest sister who knows Sidney texted me and asked if I had seen the video my wife had posted. Well I thought I had deleted it and went to bed. This morning the same sister called and said I thought you were going to delete the video of me. Well 12 hours after originally posted I got it deleted. I have no idea who saw it. My wife was very upset and has been apologizing ever sense. There is only one person I don't want to know about my dressing and that is my older brother, 80 years old, who is very religious and homophobic. Well the cats out the bag so to speak. Other than my brother I don't care. Technology outed me.

[Philippa Grace]

Oh dear! I hope everything turns out ok for you. You could always say it was deliberate for a laugh/joke??

[Kris Burton]

Mmmm...the sort if thing we all worry about has actually happened to you! I'm thinking though that if you did not hear immediately from people on your"does not need to know" list, then few would have sen the video. It appears it was up on the overnight as well, so that may help minimize the number of persons that saw it. Perhaps even your brother was on that list. As cover, are you identifiable as your male self when en femme? Perhaps that excuse could be used with someone who knew you, but not well enough to know your entire family. Just a couple of possibilities for explanations should they be needed. I think you are right in not caring much about it other than your brother, and I hope all works out OK.

[ziggie]

All I can say is good luck. It may be that no one who might be concerned saw the video. Only time will tell.

[April Rose]

I am willing to bet that you will get less trouble from this than you think you will. Time will tell.

[Heather76]

OMG!!! I cannot image how horrible your wife must feel about this. Please, if you haven't already, let her know mistakes are made by all of us and this is no different. Make sure she knows you are willing to put up with any fallout that comes as a result. Besides, if many others saw it and you really have been outed, you will learn in due time who you can dress in front of and who would rather not meet Sydney. That's not a bad place to be. One other thought, if anyone would care to quit associating with you because of this, you will learn they have been a good acquaintance and not a good friend. There is a difference, as you are well aware.

[Jolene Robertson]

So sorry that happened and I'm sure your wife feels bad enough about it. It's a risk we all run, at least you got it down and hopefully your brother didn't see it.

[candykowal]

Accidents do happen and it is the "RISK" we all take to be comfortable in presenting our feminine side.
With today's multi media technology and infiltration of societies surveillance acceptance, it is easier than ever to put any media on the world wide web.
So your case is a good example for all of us, in the closet, to be mindful of all those around us handling connective devices in our presents.
I am lucky in that I look so different between my persona's and am in the closet with with all family.
I keep both personas pretty separate.

[MonicaPVD]

A few thoughts. First, there's a pretty good chance that your 80 year old brother never logged on during those 12 hours. Even if he did, there's a decent chance that he didn't even get the post on his feed. Even if he did, there's a slight chance that he didn't even get what was going on in the video clip. Lots of variables are in play so there's no use in you being consumed by what-ifs.

Even if it was broadcast in Fox News during primetime, what can you do to change this? Absolutely nothing. Shrug. Laugh. Move on.

[Stephanie47]

Frankly, if I had an older brother who was homophobic I would not give a crap what he thought.

[Annajose]

OMG!!! I cannot image how horrible your wife must feel about this. Please, if you haven't already, let her know mistakes are made by all of us and this is no different. Make sure she knows you are willing to put up with any fallout that comes as a result. Besides, if many others saw it and you really have been outed, you will learn in due time who you can dress in front of and who would rather not meet Sydney. That's not a bad place to be. One other thought, if anyone would care to quit associating with you because of this, you will learn they have been a good acquaintance and not a good friend. There is a difference, as you are well aware.

I agree with Heather, we put a lot of burden on our supporting SOs, the “ mistake” is actually very common and normally jas no effect, any falldown from this mistake is because the crossdressing, not the mistake itself. Having a supporting wife is priceless, we should recognize tha is no easy for them and thank them for being there for us. Hope the falldown is not severe.

[kimdl93]

Never much cared for Facebook.

[DianeT]

Sorry for what happened to you Sidney. Like many said, chances are that not much will surface and your stress level will gradually subside.

[alwayshave]

Sidney, Ouch. You have not said anything about anyone else seeing it and commenting. Sometimes, people see something and don't realize. Best of luck.

[MarinaTwelve200]

"Homophobic" adults upset by cross dressing? I suspect they do NOT know what Homosexuality is. Shouldn't they have known since age 12 or so? It's SAD to think many grown people are still going around with the same "childhood misconceptions" that a "queer" was "a man who thinks he's a woman". Rather than a Man who is sexually attracted to other men, and nothing to do with cross dressing. I suppose they developed a bad habit of listening to their equally ignorant peers and NOT looking up important matters in dictionaries and other authoritative books, etc. Imagine an adult who does not know the difference between Homosexuality, Transsexualism and mere Fetishism? They exist. And lumping them all together under one "kid's definition" results in a very "inconvenient" form of mental confusion.----It would be entertaining to hear their own "definitions". Perhaps they should be corrected.

[SaraLin]

IF your brother saw it, and if he has a problem with it - then it's HIS problem, not yours.

Comfort your darling wife. Let her know that it's OK. If anything happens at all, it'll all blow over soon enough.

[MonicaPVD]

Marina dahling, your comment reminds me of the final line from Memoires of a Geisha, "You cannot say to the sun, more sun, or to the rain, less rain."

[oh to be rachel]

Wow, I understand the stress. Don't make a big deal with it with the wife and it will all blow over.

Most of us have a DADT relationship. You have an OKSE relationship. (OK, show everyone!)

[Beverley Sims]

It does happen often, accidental outings.

Hopefully not too many will pass it on to others.

[Sidney]

As I said in my original post my wife was very upset she had accidentally posted a picture of me in my pink nightgown, robe and black ballet flats on Facebook. Well so far no comment from anyone. She apologizes everytime she looks at me. It has gotten to the point where I start laughing when it happens. Now we are both laughing. I'm not upset it happened. I'm really not concerned who saw it. I have hugged my wife often since this happened and assured her she is really the only one I am concerned about what they think. I love my wife with all my heart and soul. Thanks to all who have posted supportive comments.

[Pumped]

Well, even if your world gets a bit crazy it looks like you have a very supportive wife. If anyone gives you any crap. I would tell them what my wife and I do in our own home is our business!

[abby054]

With regard to technology, there are only two kinds of CDs: those that technology has outed and those that technology will out.

[Leahjh]

That sounds traumatic! Hope things go ok...

[Heather76]

If anyone gives you any crap. I would tell them what my wife and I do in our own home is our business!

A wife is a good fall-back excuse for a lot. I just started shaving my legs and wonder if any of the gents I golf with will say anything once it's warm enough to wear shorts on the course. If they do, I've already determined my response will be simply, "I lost a bet with my wife." They will all get a good laugh and that will be the end of it. Of course, if I do have to use that excuse, I'll let my wife know as soon as I get home in case any of them would mention it to her when next they see her.