GGs who look out for us crossdressers

[Sandi Beech]

I was just trying to recall the number of times I have been either invited to join a group of women (GGs), or outright offered some level of assistance by the same. It is pretty surprising how many times it has happened. I am wondering how many of you have had similar experiences.

Examples:
One time a woman next to me at a bar says ? hey he can?t touch you like that? when someone put his hand on my arm.
Another time, a woman asked me if she wanted me to make some drunk guy go away.
Then, when I had too much to drink a little over a week ago , 3 women escorted me back to my hotel room to make sure I was ok.
In multiple other instances, I was sitting by myself in bars, drag shows, or even a restaurant last November and was invited to join a group so as to not be by myself.

Obviously, none of these women who were strangers to me would have known if I considered myself transgender or a simple crossdresser, yet they drew me into their groups as if I were one of them. I presume it was just because I was presenting as female. I kind of chuckled last Wednesday when one invited me to a table of 3 and proceeds to tell me she is ?so done with men?. I guess she was not thinking about who she was addressing.

I assume this is how women treat and protect each other, and it feels really nice to be pulled into their circle of protection or company.

I was just wondering if others have experienced this as well. I can not believe it is unique to me, but it has happened far too many times to be a fluke. I really have a lot of respect for those women who have treated me so well. That?s all.

Sandi

[Crissy 107]

Sandi, My guess with you is that you are confident and approachable, I agree they took you into their protective circle.
I wonder who enjoys it more, you or them, my guess is both.
Thanks for going out and showing that we are just real people like everyone else but with a slight twist.

[kimdl93]

I have had very positive experiences with straight, bi and gay women, with very strong support as I came out, as well as being sought out by individual and groups of women when I have been out. Honestly, it has been eye opening.

[MonicaPVD]

There is great solidarity among women. I have to imagine that they get additional satisfaction from being helpful to a newbie sister who has willingly renounced the implicit privilege that comes with being a man.

[ellbee]

"...a newbie sister who has willingly renounced the implicit privilege that comes with being a man."


And has willingly accepted the implicit privilege that comes with being a woman. :devil: :battingeyelashes:

[TheHiddenMe]

Recently I was texting with a GG friend of mine, Karla, who I met when I was trying on dresses, she wrote:


Men are assholes.

And in a lot of cases it's true. And women don't tend to be assholes, but have to learn how to deal with assholes.

Women have a lot more empathy.

I've been out socially with three different GG women, all of whom I met because of my dressing. Recently, a young GG bartender made a point to come talk to me and tell me how much she admired that I was out. The wife of the husband and wife owners of that bar came running after me after I walked into their bar (looking for another GG friend, who was at a bar down the block), insisting I come back (I did).

I am 99% more comfortable in a crowd with women.

We ought to be very thankful to them.

Plus, they're a lot more fun.:)

[Sandi Beech]

Thanks for the replies. I guess the thing that really touches me is that I am made to feel as if I were one of them. As Kim says, it is very eye opening.

Sandi

[GretchenM]

HiddenMe, I really appreciate your comment in the last line about women being more fun along with the implication that men often are not. I find that to be so true and have always found that to be true in general. I find men rather boring to be around. Sports, politics, cars, and often more politics seems to involve their conversations. I am not saying that is wrong or bad because it isn't. But for me, I start feeling like taking a nap real soon.

Throughout my life I have always found women to be much more enjoyable to be around. Not just the empathy but being more dynamic and interested. Their focus on relationships is inspiring. Men just don't seem to care much about that subject and yet relationships are a great deal of day to day life, no matter what your sex is. I find so many men try to be dominating and sometimes posturing to be superior as if they have some kind of an inferiority complex they are trying to cover up. Women work toward equality and inclusiveness with lots and lots of sharing.

Thanks Sandi for bringing this up. Not the first time that subject has come up, but each time it seems the consensus is pretty much the same among most of us. I think that is what is really important because it shows where our values are and reveals that for many this perspective we have is a real thing and not something we make up for some weird reason. As Crissy said, we are just regular people but with a twist - the twist is that we are males with a significant female-like perspective.

[Rikidee]

New Year's Eve I dressed and went to a bar. I sat down beside two ladies just a few years younger than me. We started talking, they liked me. They bought drinks all night. They invited me to go to another bar with them. They went to the restroom and insisted I go too. We hung out together all night and looked out for each other. It is truly special to be accepted into the girl clique.

[Sandi Beech]

Rikidee,

Oh that is cool. So you know exactly what I am talking about. Sounds like it was special for you.

Sandi

[Beverley Sims]

Sandi, When I was single and sharing a house with 4 girls I often appeared dressed and single, other women would connect with me and draw me into their conversation or company even if only for a short time.

It was invaluable experience in helping me pass as a woman.

[Fiona Lindum]

Not only have I been invited to join a group of women when I have been out dressed., I am quite often included in chats with the women/ girls at work, where I still present as male.

[sometimes_miss]

women don't tend to be assholes
Ohhhhh, yes they do. I'm in the closet, so I get to be a 'fly on the wall', when men who cross the gender lines, come through the e.r.'s that I've worked in. There's plenty of derogatory comments made at our expense by women.
Not all women, of course, but enough of them, certainly.
'Why would any guy want to wear that?'; 'They look ridiculous'; 'Why would any guy want to go through all the trouble that we have to?'; and, of course, the nasty 'sissy' and other comments. 21st century, but a good number are still stuck in the 1950's when it comes to LGBTQ anything. While most of the bills passed into law are originated by men, plenty of women support them.

[suzanne]

Wonderful story of solidarity, regardless of where you are on the gender spectrum. And NOT binary. Your being dressed signifies to a lot, though perhaps not all, of women, that you deserve to be considered as one of them. As a man in a dress, you are clearly not a member of the patriarchy, will not be spewing toxic masculinity BS everywhere, and probably won't try to angle a woman for sex. It's not hard for them to accept you into their confidence. I am impressed, though not too surprised, that you were taken under their wing. Next time out, try to get not so drunk, so you can be in a position to help your sisters in that way, rather than needing help yourself.

[Jean 103]

No this is not unique.

I'm to the point I live as Jean. Have so many friends. My best friend is a GG as well as most of my close friends.

This use to happen to me all the time, now I'm one of the girls. As such you can not mess with me or they will throw you out. It has only happened a few times. I don't have to do anything. Sometimes the bouncer will ask me first.

[sabrinaedwards]

Hi Sandi, I can say that genetic females are very friendly to us CDs. Rightly or wrongly I go to gay bars because I feel that I am safe there. Often females make me feel the most welcome and are the most warm to me.
Love, Sabrina

[Jackie27]

I have to agree totally that a lot of women are very accepting of my feminine side. I have never had a bad reaction to my cross dressing. As I have aged, I came out more and more to the point of revealing my self to quite a few women. One example was when I was in the hospital after having back surgery and then getting the damn Covid. The nurses that I revealed my fem side to were very supportive, even telling me that they would go shopping with me to help pick out dresses. I go to a pain clinic and all the girls there know my fem side as I have even went to appointments fully dressed. The all ask about my makeup skills and have wanted to know about products that I use. They have taken me under their wings to include me as one of them, I guess they don't feel threatened by me. It makes me so happy to see them and feel their support for me. I revealed my fem side to two of my classmates and they both have been very supportive as well. One of them goes shopping with me and has bought me clothes when they find something that they know I would like.

[April Rose]

The (all female) staff and students at my electrology clinic have been wonderfully welcoming and encouraging.

[MonicaPVD]

As Suzanne wrote below, the image of a man in a dress or a man emulating a woman is welcoming to most women today because it signals a break with the patriarchy. Women can let their guard down around us because we (hopefully) arent going to be jerks around them or try to harass them or diminsh them. I would argue that many of us are totally obsessed with women (hoping to emulate them, not possess them) and they appreciate the sentiment and the irony of the situation.

[TheHiddenMe]

Toxic masculinity? Patriarchy?

I don't think any of that is true.

It's all self-selection.

Sandi goes to clubs that cater to individual freedom and self-expression, and the people who go to those clubs are more accepting of drag, trans, sexual orientation, etc. Do you think that she--or any of us for that matter--would get the same reaction from the fundamentalist mega-church down the road?

The answer is the inverse is true. Sandi CHOOSES these clubs because she knows the people there are extremely likely to be accepting. I go to a local bar because I know they welcome me there, and avoid others because I'm not as sure.

[April Rose]

I'm with Monica on this. Self selection may enter the process but that doesn't mean that patriarchy and toxic masculinity aren't a large part of the problem.

[Sandi Beech]

While it is true that I typically go to venues where the acceptance rate is very high, I also get approached by women in other settings. Twice it has happened at breakfast since November. One time as I mentioned at a Cracker Barrel, the other time at my hotel breakfast area. The woman at the hotel worked in the breakfast area and gave me her phone number because she wants to go clubbing with me the next time I am in that town. This would never happen when I am in male mode. Life is very different when I go out as Sandi. That is all I am saying. I find it fascinating and wonderful.

Sandi

[MonicaPVD]

I'm with Sandi. I have had cis women approach me in every imaginable setting, wanting to chat, hang out, and yes even go out clubbing or bar hopping. And, yes, I have actually been to church services dressed many times. A few at evangelical spots where this lifestyle is frowned upon. Still, cis women were exceedingly friendly there.

[JanetW]

Women are the superior sex.