I've Notice Something

[Glenda58]

Reading some of the post and some of the things at I've been doing. I've notice that more people don't bat an eye when they encounter us. Years ago, people would look at us and think we were weird or look down on us.
Maybe it's just me but it looks like people are giving us some respect. I feel it is easier to good out and have a life than in the 70's.

Does anyone else feel that way?

[Phoebe Reece]

Yes, I agree that we are not the curiosities we once were. I was out doing some things as Phoebe yesterday and as I was going in to Bass Pro Shops a gentleman saw me walking up from 20 feet away and stopped and held the door open for me. I gave him a pleasant "Thank you" and we went our separate ways in the store.

[JuliannaS]

I went out dressed to home Depot a few months ago I wasn't sure if people either didn't know or didn't care...

[alwayshave]

Glenda, in the 70's Ru Paul's Drag Race wasn't on TV, nor was Amy Schneider a Jeopardy Champion. Despite the prevalence of some vocal anti-transgender individuals, people on the spectrum are out in media, making it more acceptable.

[NancyTO]

Gender bending is definitely getting more main stream.

I was at a thrift shop last week and there was a Brolita checking out at the cash, in full pouff mode, and no one seemed to care. :)

[JenniferMBlack]

There is absolutely more acceptance then even 7 years ago. Yes there are some late bloomers but they are few and far between now.

[franlee]

I agree and this is not a BUT. Out here in the country(deep south) it seems that although people don't get as upset as long as it is in passing and not having to interact with a CDer. A lot of the public around here have a deeper resentment than they let on and part of it is because of the initialed groups being in the spotlight and pushing their agenda as the norm. True CDer's seem to want to blend or at least not raise unwanted controversy. By true CDer I mean the ones of us that are heterosexual and have no agenda other than our very own. I am very aware that many here are "more" than simple CDer's or TV's. And all that's fine if that floats your boat it just is a little to much for people that have no reason or desire to evaluate our Crossdressing.

[sometimes_miss]

It may really depend on location. I now live in the somewhat more rural southwest, and have already observed some teenagers chuckling at a guy in a skirt at the local Walmart.
We're not out of the woods here, yet. There's still a whole lot of intolerance out there.

[Rachelakld]

At a coffee shop recently - an elderly manly male was looking at me as if I was weird.
woman at the next table started singing to her son, she realized where she was and apologized. I said "no need, I was enjoying your singing and not enough people sing anymore"
The elderly man smiled at me and nodded in agreement

I think I'm changing the world, one person at a time - and it's all about how we interact.

[Helen_Highwater]

Things are improving. Here in the UK it took a little backward step due to Brexit. There was an uptick in general hostility towards minority racial groups, immigrants and the wider LGBTQ community. It wasn't that more people became hostile, it was those who already were being more vocal or even aggressive based on the belief "They were getting their country back".

That said during my last outings all was good and as others have said, most people don't really care.

As Franlee says, those in our wider community who seem to be pushing that little bit harder for change perhaps need to be reminded of the notion of baby steps. Small incremental change spread over a period of change. Evolution not revolution. Right might be on our side but patience is a virtue.

[Connie D50]

I agree with parts of everyone's comment already stated Fran "True CDer's seem to want to blend or at least not raise unwanted controversy". Julianna, "I went out dressed to Home Depot a few months ago I wasn't sure if people either didn't know or didn't care". Helen "Evolution not revolution. Right might be on our side but patience is a virtue". Other as well you get my point. My feelings any group who pushes to hard if not careful could cause more trouble.

[Kris Burton]

I think our increased visibility has helped a lot, but as Lexi points out it really does depend on your location. If we pay attention to where we are, we can have the positive encounters described here, but there is still a lot of intolerance that remains in certain sectors. We're on our way, but not there quite yet.

[kimdl93]

I would agree, by and large, that people are getting used to the fact of our existence. While we remain rare enough out in the wild, our presence in the media, and perhaps even present in the social circles makes us less remarkable than perhaps we may have been 30 years ago. I wonder, tho, if I had not been so fearful 30 years ago if the reactions would have been significantly different.

[GretchenM]

I agree with Lexi and Kris that location has a lot to do with it. There are still places where we may be tolerated face to face, but after we move on the bad behavior, comments, laughing and the like breaks out. I have seen it happen and it is really sad and sometimes disgusting. That said, those places may well be declining in numbers and extents. No comments does not necessarily mean acceptance and there are still places that are dangerous for women and even more so for us. Sadly, prejudice and intolerance is alive and well and in some respects even stronger due to the shifting of social views and the polarization in some places. Still important to use good judgement and keep your wits about you in unfamiliar territory. Not fear, but awareness. Violence against us and anything different is still common in some places.

[MonicaPVD]

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

[Barbara Jo]

It is a given that some can't pass as well as others.

For those who can pass, it is all comes down to how you carry and present yourself as a woman.
Keep in mind that there are "real" women who are rather masculine looking and not all females are beauty queens.

Also, sooner or later you will have to interact with people so, prepare for it .
One "trick" to use to sound more feminine is this...
Tighten you throat a bit, like it you were about to gargle and talk This will raise your pitch without resorting to a falsetto.
Also end most sentences with the last word at a bit higher pitch than the rest, which males do not do.

Above all. just go about your shopping etc as any female would. If you act nervous, you will draw unwanted attention
You must have the mind set that you are wearing the lingerie,/ clothes that any woman would wear and not doing anything out of the ordinary .

Anyway, I do not know if the masses in general are more tolerant.of us, or not .
it may just be that many are just keeping to themselves more due to the virus and thus, interact less with others.

[kayegirl]

Glenda, on the whole I think that you are right, there does seem to be a greater level of acceptance around today. I have just spent the past four days, completely en femme, and have had no problems whatsoever . But I would add that I do not try to pass, rather that I blend in, act nervous or dress inappropriately, and you will attract attention, and not all of it good.
Likewise I do not attempt to change my voice, I've tried and frankly the results were, well lets just say comical, and had a negative effect.

[Debbie Denier]

There is more mainstream acceptance now overall than there previously was in the 70s and 80s. But I think there were more support groups back then which provided a safe haven for our community.I still will not go out into my local town centre.dressed.Transphobic attacks and abuse has increased there over the last year .

[Heather76]

My personal experience may be indicative of the trend to wider acceptance. At age 25, I thought crossdressers (then referred to as transvestites) were completely off their rockers. How could a guy go out in public trying to pass himself off as a woman? At age 45 I was leering of associating with "queers." If I did, might someone think I, too, was a faggot. At about age 65 (maybe a bit later) my step nephew came out of the closet to me as being bi. Hmmmmm... He's a heck of a nice guy; so, why do I care his sexual proclivities? I don't. Then, the day my wife suggested I "put on my big girl panties and deal with it" was the day the memories of all my adventures with mom's lingerie came flooding back to my mind. Obviously, my attitude has changed 180?. Think of all the people out there that have had, at various times in their lives, such awakenings. It not only eliminates one more person who is critical; but, they will influence an untold number of others in their thinking.

[Barbara Jo]

I have heard years ago from older CD is that things were rather brutal for CDs in the 1950s.

I was told by them such things as.....

There were laws in many states against CDing
These laws have have be repealed or no longer enforced... being determined that they were unconstitutional.
Usually the only thing you can be charged with now is wearing a disguise while committing a crime.

I had had older CDs tell me there would often be a cop waiting outside their residence to arrest them for weaning female clothes in public.

All this has changed for the better of course.
However, we still have to look out for an individual who has not changed with the times.
Because of this, I much prefer to be in public before dark... for one thing.

BTW, it has been reported that NY State once had a colonial "transvestite" governor...
https://www.straightdope.com/21343476/did-new-york-once-have-a-transvestite-governor

It is also said that some native American tribes viewed effeminate men who wanted to dress as female as someone special.

So, does acceptance tend to come and go in cycles?

[ShelbyDawn]

"Times, they are a changing," as the saying goes.
One of the few times I have gone out fully dressed, I stopped in the dollar store to see if I could find some inexpensive costume jewelry to complete my outfit.
A young girl called me out, "Mommy, that man is wearing a dress."
To which mom replied," Yes, honey, and isn't it pretty?"

Don't know who she is, but I love her.

[kimmy p]

Things are improving. Here in the UK it took a little backward step due to Brexit. There was an uptick in general hostility towards minority racial groups, immigrants and the wider LGBTQ community. It wasn't that more people became hostile, it was those who already were being more vocal or even aggressive based on the belief "They were getting their country back".

That said during my last outings all was good and as others have said, most people don't really care.

As Franlee says, those in our wider community who seem to be pushing that little bit harder for change perhaps need to be reminded of the notion of baby steps. Small incremental change spread over a period of change. Evolution not revolution. Right might be on our side but patience is a virtue.

I watched a video on YouTube just yesterday that, by the accents, was in Great Britian. Some azz was telling one of our sisters how disgusting he was (obnoxious guy's terminology) and the CD in question took it for a moment, then yelled for help as the rude man advanced on her... then seeing no help coming finally grabbed the rude dude by his shirt collar, backed him up against a fence and let him know how unwanted his unsolicited attention was. Boy, did rude dude deflate fast. The guy in me was bouncing up and down, loving the comeuppance and threat of violence. My more ladylike side just thought "finally ". This girls got game.

[Fiona Lindum]

I went shopping in a small town today while dressed. Hardly any reaction from anyone as I wandered around. The staff in the shops I visited were helpful and gave advice when I asked for it.

[JenniferMBlack]

I got a little chuckle from this. The 70s yeah. Even 6 years ago was way different. I remember even then getting snide remarks funny looks and laughed at. Thay doesn't normally happen now.

[Karren H]

As long as your not wanting to use the ladies room in North Carolina or play sports in Florida! I spent most of the 70s working in a southern Appalachia underground coal mine so every consecutive decade after that looked more and more amazing!

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Glenda,
Yes, it is much easier! I live in Portland Oregon and we are almost the status quo. No second glances, no comments, no judgment (well almost none). Things are getting better, they are getting better every day. Thanks for the observation.
Brenda

[Krisi]

I suspect that much of this new acceptance is in your mind. We don't know what people are thinking and most folks are not going to call you out or make a scene, but they still find the idea of a man prancing around in a wig and fake breasts as "perverted".

There are parts of the country and parts of towns and cities where crossdressing is accepted, but in general, it is still seen as perverted.

[suzanne]

I completely agree that people are seeing crossdressing as NO BIG DEAL, which is how I want it to be. I'm almost always in a skirt when I'm out in public. These days, I'm even getting compliments from men.

Each and every one of us that gets out there in a dress is breaking down barriers and making it easier for the rest of us to do the same. By dressing in the same presentable way women do, we're showing the world that there's nothing wrong or threatening about us.