Reliving the past

[Jane P]

Hello to all
I have spent some time today rereading posts throughout my time here and am so grateful for this record of my thoughts. I can see that I had a conversation with my wife about this side of me 7 years ago and I can't say we have spoken of it since. We live in the same house but separately although peacefully.I still do not have answers for questions I posed so many years ago but still appreciate the responses offered.
I am also grateful to still have this place that I can come to to continue to try to understand what it is that I am and not despise that person for their existence.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Jane, I'm not sure any of us really understand it bet if we're lucky we come to accept it is who we are.

[JocelynJames]

Haven’t spoken on the subject or at all? We?re all here for you , Jane

[Jane P]

Jocelyn we speak very little about anything. We coexist. It?s a very strange existence but for the most part works.

[Heather76]

I'm saddened by the "coexist" comment. That is why I asked my 1st wife for a divorce after 17 years of marriage. She was/is a nice person and we have 2 children together. I felt as though I was married to my sister or cousin; and, I just couldn't go on any longer like that. I've now been married 38 years to # 2. The divorce was the 2nd best thing I ever did. Marrying wife # 2 was the best.

I suspect there are many marriages where couples coexist and the marriages work. However, without the passion (emotional - not sexual) I didn't find it acceptable. I wish you luck.

[Jane P]

Thank you for your concern ,I agree it is not ideal , but I optimistically hope that this is just a phase.... Cleopatra

[Kerry Michaels]

She may never accept this part of you. (Mine doesn?t) but the question is, does it matter? We have a great relationship but for that one thing. I don?t like some of her interests either.
If suppose, if I thought I wanted to live as a woman and she didn?t accept it, we would have a unworkable relationship, but as it is, I?m happy living as a man. I love dressing up but if do I need to share that? If I was into football, would I need her to watch it with me? Would I need her to go to games with me and so on?

Much of it depends on what you need from her and if she stops you from exploring this alone?

Sorry if that?s a bit much. I?m new here and I?m not pretending I?ve figured out my own situation, much less yours.

[Jane P]

My wife has never done me wrong. I don't believe she hates me ,we have never, either of us, had the courage to broach the "....again grateful for a record of my thoughts

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im afraid I had a blonde moment where' I thought.... Sorry ,lost my train of thought

[kimdl93]

My first thought is you (may be) damned if you do and (may be) damned if you don?t. Leaving well enough alone sounds like a valid survival strategy.

[Cheryl T]

Another crossdresser who was in our support group invited my wife and I over for dinner.
His live in girlfriend knew of his dressing and was curious but wanted to ask someone else about certain things. We agreed and went.
When we got there and began talking his girlfriend's first question was "Why do you do it?"

I looked at her and smiled and said, "If I had the answer to that I'd make millions as a therapist". I told her I've been searching for that answer since I was 6 and I still haven't found it. I don't know that I will ever find that answer.
Now years later I've given up the search. I no longer care why. I just know that it's a deep seated part of me, I'm happiest when expressing my femininity and I have no desire to change that. Will this take me farther, I don't know. I'm still on the road and I don't see the end yet.