"Why don't more guys do this?..."

[Larissa Cassandra]

In her "Another Snowday" post yesterday, Joanne108 asked this question, so I thought I'd start a thread to find out what you all think about it. Here's my take:

I think that most guys (around 90%??) probably DO try on women's clothes and/or makeup at least once. I can't imagine anyone not at least having some curiosity about what they would look like or what the clothes (especially lingerie!) would feel on them. Of this 90%, many (like us!) enjoy it greatly and go on to part-time or full-time crossdressing and/or discover that they are trans and follow that path.

I see two other groups in that 90%:

-those who have accepted society's taboo and (no matter how much they might have enjoyed their feminizing experience) would NEVER admit it to anyone and would never do it again

-those who would enjoy dressing en femme for a costume or joke, and that's enough for them, due to fear and embarrassment

The other 10% are those who absolutely would never even think about crossdressing (even for a costume or joke). I think these are probably the ignorant and intolerant macho guys who would be most likely to give us grief (or worse) when out in public.

[MonicaPVD]

90% of men aren't thinking about this. At all. And that's OK. You do you.

[Karren H]

And there are those who lost a bet!

[Heather76]

I wouldn't attempt to assign, or estimate, percentages; but, I do believe a high percentage of guys have at least tried on women's lingerie at one time or another. For many, it may have been as a child trying on mom's or sis's panties or bras. For others it may have been trying on something of their wife's or girlfriend's. I also suspect while they may have enjoyed the experience, it was likely done when alone so nobody else would see. I also suspect there was a sexual overtone to the experience. To the rest of the world they maintain their macho image because "it never happened" as it wasn't witnessed by anyone. Because of society's take on cross dressing, unless one is comfortable in their own skin as a cross dresser, they will almost always remain in the closet. For many, like myself, we've only come out of the closet to a wife or SO as we know many, many family members and friends would be put off by the idea we CD. If there were no stigma associated with crossdressing and it was 100% socially acceptable, it wouldn't surprise me if a solid 10% of men would openly cross dress. Oops, there I went and estimated a percentage. And, unless I'm wrong, I suspect most crossdressers would prefer to enjoy dressing as a lifestyle rather than as a sexual experience. I know for a fact that is my take on dressing. I've no idea why those who have never tried on female clothing haven't done so. It could be lack of opportunity, lack of interest, lack of curiosity, religious constraints (real or perceived). Who knows? Are they ignorant and/or macho guys? Some maybe. But, I suspect like anything, it just don't interest everyone.

[Geena75]

It is my impression that the majority of men are either quite satisfied with their male appearance or dissatisfied and just living with it. To them, wearing women's clothing would be similar to wearing a T-Rex outfit and mowing the lawn -- a novelty. They don't get anything out of it at all approaching what we do. Then there is the minority who find they do get a positive reaction to it, but family and friends or societal norms make them repress such feelings. As time goes by and acceptance grows, we might see a lot more men engaging in our "peculiar pastime."

[Pumped]

I agree that perhaps a very large percentage on men have tried on women's clothing and most of them went, "Eh, this is stupid" and never did it again.

Then you get he maybe 10% that try on women's clothing and get hooked and continue to dress. Too bad that just a few percent of them actually get past the taboo and the mind games and accept that maybe they are ok. I believe there is quite a few men that dress that will never admit it.

If fact I am on another group with a few men that dress....but they don't. It is a fashion choice! I tried to get them to understand that cross dressing is simply wearing the clothing of the other gender, but nope, that is not what they do, while they post pictures in dresses and skirts, hose and heels.

[Gillian Gigs]

One of the things that I have learned in this life is that we think others are thinking just like we ourselves think. If I crossdress, then there must be many others like me. I have no idea how many crossdressers there are out there, does it really matter how many there are? If I didn't enjoy doing something, I would have quit doing it long ago. I have been crossdressing for about 80% of my life, and that is the only numeral fact I can offer to anyone!

Why don't more guys do it? Machoism, conformity, the need for acceptance, and the list goes on.

[Kris Burton]

I can't speculate as to percentages, but I think it's safe to say many have tried, but few speak of it.

[Jolene Robertson]

I know the number is probably fairly high, I remember in High school when you made the Varsity team all the new guys had to wear a Cheer Leader outfit for a day and serve lunch to the upper classmen (loved that day). But haw many have done it because they wanted to??? There have been several threads on here about this (you can search them out. I couldn't find any research on "Crossdressing" but plenty on "Transgender" based on what I could find and guessing after that. I would imagine most of us wouldn't consider ourselves Transgender but guess what We Are. In my estimate the % might be around 3-5 % of men crossdress and maybe 10X that have tried it.
Here is the latest real research the I could find based on the US population,

https://www.hli.org/resources/number-of-transgenders-in-the-united-states/

[Debbie Denier]

Lies and statistics as former UK Prime Minister Harold Wilson used to say. A lot would not admit to it unless it was for a laugh. Some have for stag parties , rugby or football fan dares etc.There would never be accuracy in any statistics given . Most would not give honest answers.

[Crissy 107]

If fact I am on another group with a few men that dress....but they don't. It is a fashion choice! I tried to get them to understand that cross dressing is simply wearing the clothing of the other gender, but nope, that is not what they do, while they post pictures in dresses and skirts, hose and heels.
Pumped and I have a friend in common on that site and the person in question says how most days he is wearing 90% of things from the women’s side but he is not a Crossdresser. I finally gave up trying to discuss this with him

[MonicaPVD]

This topic resurfaces ever so often and makes for great exchanges. We tie ourselves into pretzels trying to justify or normalize something that does not require either. It simply is what it is. I (we) enjoy dressing up in women's clothes. Period.

[GretchenM]

As children we love to explore quite freely, especially when somebody else does something rather different than what we do. Girls try on boy clothes and boys try on girl clothes. Mostly just to see what happens. Even only children (like me) try the other direction with our mother's clothes and makeup (or father's if a girl). The percentage who have gone down that road is undoubtedly very high, but there is no way to put numbers on it as it is really not a subject worthy of funding in a science study. It is also logically true that the number who never did that is quite low. Studies have shown that very few have neural networks that are exclusively male-like or female-like; something like 2%. But once again it is a tiny sample of a huge population.

But it is true that virtually all of us (94% - once again based on a tiny sample) have genders that are mixed to some degree or other. And the emphasis is constantly shifting around as circumstances change and we adapt as well as discover feelings we may have never had before. But constancy in gender form almost never happens unless the environment is so rigid that variation simply doesn't occur. That said, ideologies can have a strong influence and limit the variations simply because that becomes the primary force in that person's environment. The bottom line is that there is no way to know what another person feels at the most personal level unless they express it in some way. Biologically, variation is the rule whether expressed or not and therefore it is fairly safe to assume most people, at some point in their life, become curious about the other sex and the other gender. It is the way we are built.

[Sandi Beech]

Larissa,

It seems to me whatever percentage of men who have tried on something feminine is not that relevant. A large number of them can walk away from it. Those of us who become hooked on it after one wearing become crossdressers and those are the relevant numbers. Since many do it in secret, I doubt we will ever know the true number of crossdressers as the level of crossdressing varies wildly.

Sandi

[Judy-Somthing]

In my teens, out of the 8 guys I hung around with,
4 of us dressed up now and then.
The other 4 would hang around with us but wouldn't even touch the girls clothing.
The neighborhood girls would sometimes do our makeup.
After high school, as we all started going our own ways it was rarely talked about and I told everybody I stopped dressing.
I don't know if any of my friends continued dressing.

[NancySue]

IMO, I believe many more men at one time or another, have tried on or worn women?s clothes. Most guys, I know, are fascinated and curious about women?s lingerie going back to Sears catalogs, panty raids, Victoria Secret catalogs, etc. I don?t buy any statistics. Why? 1. No one would fess up in a survey 2. as with most of us, it happens in private. With some of us, as we know, it sticks. Two of my friends admit to wearing pantyhose while hunting or fishing for ?warmth?, yeah right. My Dr. told me, in the emergency room, it was not unusual to find patient?s underdressed. And so on, which is why I believe there?s more of us out there.

[julia.bowie]

Jolene commented that "In my estimate the % might be around 3-5 % of men crossdress and maybe 10X that have tried it.".We'll never know the true number of crossdressers because many keep it a secret. However, Dr Vernon Coleman estimates the number to be around 10% in the UK, but again as to how many are full time and part time is anyone's guess.

[Barbara Jo]

IMO, most all males enjoy being and feeling masculine.
They would be horrified if someone wanted them to wear any female garment
The might wear something on a rare occasion as some sort of an obvious joke, but will always make it clear that they are still 100% all male.

CDs on the other hand are drawn to female lingerie and other clothes and usually try them on in complete privacy when still rather young.
CDs then discover that they really like it and felling / being feminine

This is in contrast to "Drag Queens" who are gay and are mostly just sort of mocking females for comic effect with their over the top dressing, etc.

[Kerry Michaels]

IMO, most all males enjoy being and feeling masculine.
They would be horrified if someone wanted them to wear any female garment
The might wear something on a rare occasion as some sort of an obvious joke, but will always make it clear that they are still 100% all male.

This may be true but it?s all down to conditioning. No one has a genetic predisposition to trousers. People are just playing the role they have been told to play.

[valerie anne]

When I only need an A cup bra, I got quite friendly with a lady who ran a website for pretty bras in smaller bust sizes.

She told me that most of her regular customers, like me, were men.

[kimdl93]

Unless one of us has actually engaged in legitimate research and asked a statistically significant sample of the population, there is simply no way any one of us can make a meaningful estimate of the number of males who have ever tried on womens clothing.

The absence of specific evidence seldom prevents humans from making baseless guestimates.

[April Rose]

Now hold on there, Kim. Without baseless guesstimates 93.5% of the internet would be out of work!:devil:

[Jessica Secret]

I tend to doubt it's 90% and I wouldn't even guess what the percentage is, it may just seem like it's a lot because of how many CD'ers are out there but that shouldn't cloud our judgment in that regard. Obviously all of us here and other CD'ers out there got into it at some point but doesn't mean that the overwhelming majority of men out there have done it. We might find dressing exciting, but doesn't mean most other guys do.

[Larissa Cassandra]

I figured this would get a lot of diverse replies, so thanks for sharing! I probably shouldn't have included the percents, but thought they'd make good starting points for discussion. I certainly don't have any data to back up those numbers.


We tie ourselves into pretzels trying to justify or normalize something that does not require either.

Monica, I wasn't trying to justify or normalize what we do. It definitely isn't normal, since "normal" means what most people do. I thought it would be fun to get other people's perspectives, as I think we all wonder about where other men think. And as I said in my OP, I can't believe that any guy would never have been curious enough to try on panties or bra (or whatever). But I agree that numbers don't matter. I really don't care. I am me and I do what I enjoy!


IMO, I believe many more men at one time or another, have tried on or worn women?s clothes. Most guys, I know, are fascinated and curious about women?s lingerie going back to Sears catalogs, panty raids, Victoria Secret catalogs, etc. I don?t buy any statistics. Why? 1. No one would fess up in a survey 2. as with most of us, it happens in private. With some of us, as we know, it sticks. Two of my friends admit to wearing pantyhose while hunting or fishing for ?warmth?, yeah right. My Dr. told me, in the emergency room, it was not unusual to find patient?s underdressed. And so on, which is why I believe there?s more of us out there.

Nancy Sue, I agree 100%, and that's a number I'll stand by!


People are just playing the role they have been told to play.

Kerry, great observation! I can identify since I was raised in an all male household to had to suppress my feminine side until just a couple of years ago. Then it just broke free, and I'm happy it did!

~Larissa

[Gillian Gigs]

Pumped and I have a friend in common on that site and the person in question says how most days he is wearing 90% of things from the women?s side but he is not a Crossdresser. I finally gave up trying to discuss this with him/her, it can be frustrating

Statistics are continually bent and turned by whoever wants their particular spin to be represented.

[sometimes_miss]

I think that most guys (around 90%??) probably DO try on women's clothes and/or makeup at least once.
Uh, no. This is simply your subconscious wishing that were so, in order for you to feel like you're 'normal' because everyone else is just like you.
Don't feel bad, this is a common experience for many who experience feelings way beyond what is considered just mildly unusual by the general population, much like many gay people just assume that everyone is at least 'a little gay', or has had at least some homosexual desires, or tried some type of homosexual intimate behavior. Not everyone is so 'curious'.

[Violetgray]

90% of men aren't thinking about this. At all. And that's OK. You do you.

I doubt this, actually. I think that which is a burning flame within us is at least a smoldering ember within most men.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There was a guy I knew, kind of a man;y man, but one time he said,

"Pantihose matt down the hair on my legs."

How would he know that. I can only think of one way.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Uh, no. This is simply your subconscious wishing that were so, in order for you to feel like you're 'normal' because everyone else is just like you.
Don't feel bad, this is a common experience for many who experience feelings way beyond what is considered just mildly unusual by the general population, much like many gay people just assume that everyone is at least 'a little gay', or has had at least some homosexual desires, or tried some type of homosexual intimate behavior. Not everyone is so 'curious'.

Uh, you don't know me, so please don't try to psychoanalyze me. I do not "wish" any such thing, consciously or unconsciously, and in my two posts I never said I did. And if you read my second post you'll see that I recognize that I'm not normal because most men do NOT crossdress and I do.

[Cheryl T]

Even if 100% of males did this. Even if it was just out of curiosity and a one time thing 99% would never admit it.
They could never give up the macho attitude and admit to the wonderful feeling of feminine clothing.

[Joanne108]

First let me say thanks! I didn't know my observation would stir up any extra conversation. I was looking at my reflection when I thought "Why don't more guys dress as woman especially if they can do it well and look great!?" I felt at that moment that I looked beautiful. So it is more like if you know you look great why wouldn't you do it again and again? I know that on some level my perception tells me that I actually look like an attractive woman encourages me to continue dressing as a woman.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Joanne, thank you for including that observation in your post! It's been interesting to see everyone's different views on this. Also, I agree with your entire post above, because I feel the same about the way I look when dressed as a woman. And the fact that my wife always tells me how pretty or cute I look adds to the enjoyment!!

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I have no idea how many boys try on women's clothes as a voluntary act, and wouldn't care to guess, though it could be a lot. This kind of experimentation is normal in young children, but usually that's all it is: an experiment. I never tried on women's underwear as a boy, though I did once try on my mother's nightdress when I was about five, possibly younger. It was just lying there on the bed next to me, so I tried it on. My mother came up and expressed surprise, but that's all. "Oh, I didn't know you were wearing my nightie," she said. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was simply an experiment, since it happened to be there. Or maybe I wanted to "feel close to my mother," or something. Who knows? Anyway I don't recall any special feeling associated with it. I was also dressed as a certain female figure for a costume contest when I was about seven, Significantly, neither of these experiences prompted me to repeat them. I didn't start crossdressing until my early teens, and then it was initially for the sexual charge.

I agree with Gillian. It's just not valid to project our own quirks onto other people whose brains are different from our own. Many of these quirks, or the traits that cause them to develop, are innate. The brain is not a tabula rasa, a "blank slate" at birth. There's a lot more wetwired into it than we realize, and it varies from one individual to another. A fetish, for instance, may be formed by association during life experience, but the capacity to form a fetish is most likely present at birth.

One of the functions in our brain is the capacity for empathy. (Unless we're psychopaths, that is.) Empathy is a priceless talent that allows us to understand how other people think and feel--insofar as they're like ourselves. So we can typically proceed on this assumption of similarity, knowing that someone is probably excited at winning a prize, grieving at a death, surprised by an unexpected event, and so on. Perhaps that's what leads us to "project" parts of our own personalities onto others. But this mechanism only works as far as others are similar to ourselves. It doesn't work when others are different from ourselves.

So a gay guy might just as well ask why all guys aren't gay, or a masochist or a flasher ask why everybody doesn't do what they do. If most men don't crossdress, it's not generally because of embarrassment or social disapproval, Remember, we do it in SPITE of embarrassment and social disapproval, so why don't they? It just doesn't do anything for them the way it does for us, that's all.

[docrobbysherry]

In her "Another Snowday" post yesterday, Joanne108 asked this question, so I thought I'd start a thread to find out what you all think about it. Here's my take:

I think that most guys (around 90%??) probably DO try on women's clothes and/or makeup at least once. I can't imagine anyone not at least having some curiosity about what they would look like or what the clothes (especially lingerie!) would feel on them. Of this 90%, many (like us!) enjoy it greatly and go on to part-time or full-time crossdressing and/or discover that they are trans and follow that path.

I see two other groups in that 90%:

-those who have accepted society's taboo and (no matter how much they might have enjoyed their feminizing experience) would NEVER admit it to anyone and would never do it again

-those who would enjoy dressing en femme for a costume or joke, and that's enough for them, due to fear and embarrassment

The other 10% are those who absolutely would never even think about crossdressing (even for a costume or joke). I think these are probably the ignorant and intolerant macho guys who would be most likely to give us grief (or worse) when out in public.
I think it's interesting that u "think" in such round numbers, Larissa. Not 65 or 83% of men think like u but 90%. When in fact the actually statistics of men who do what we do is such a tiny fraction of the total. And, I don't think, I KNOW the reason why!

Because until my 50's I was a regular straight man. And, my only interest in women's clothing was getting women out of them! U know why I never tried on women's clothing until then? Because I never thot about doing it until then!:eek:

And, your opinion about men who dress in drag as a joke being closet dressers? My ex and I switched gender roles for a big Halloween. Me with a beard, cheesy wig and balloon boobs. But, a risque dress, nylons, and hi heels. And, wearing that outfit made such an impression on me that it was 10 years after I began dressing that I remembered that nite at all!:devil:

[CynthiaD]

It wasn't until I was about 10 or 12 that I realized that other boys didn't want to sneak into their mother's closet and borrow her clothes. It seemed really weird to me that they didn't. To some degree, it still does.

That's why I like this place. Everybody's so normal. :)

[ziggie]

Back to the original question "why don't more guys do this", I have to admit that I have not the foggiest idea. Around 100 years ago it was unusual (and even illegal) for women to dress as men. A few brave souls broke the taboo and over a long period of time women were granted the right to wear what they want - at least to some extent. Perhaps at some time in the future the same freedom will be granted to men. I doubt that corsets and bras will become common for men unless styles change drastically, but skirts, blouses, leggings and the like are comfortable and could well drift into the mainstream.

I'm allowed to dream, aren't I?

[alwayshave]

I have dressed since I was about 4 years olds. Maybe it's something imprinted that early whether we act on that early or not.