Occupying your mind, but not making the effort to dress?

[CharlotteCD]

I'm finding myself in an unusual position. It's been forever and a day since I got to dress properly with makeup, and underdressing / dressing without makeup and wig just doesn't do it for me. It's not about the clothes, it's about the gender for me after all.

My wife has finally returned to work after about 4 months of not being in the office, and I simply cannot find the energy to get all of my makeup out, glam myself up, and then put it all away and risk leaving something out.

Normally I would say that the pink fog has lifted for a bit, and it'll be back, but this time is different. Previously I've lost interest in dressing for a period of time, and I don't think about it at all. Mentally I haven't changed this time though. I still don't want to be male, I still don't want to present as male, I still think about dressing 24/7, but when I do get the opportunity, I haven't found the energy to take it.

Anybody else find themselves go through a similar phase?

[GretchenM]

Ya betcha, Charlotte. I am much the same way. When it is about identity and gender the dressing can often be like peanut butter and jelly on a slice of bread. The bread is what is important.

I have found that it is the gender behavior that is important as that involves how you interact with others. For me it isn't about the clothes; it is about the personality. I still wear flats around the house and most of the time wear women's T's for the strong colors which I love and also sweatshirts. It is more of a mild androgynous expression and I wear a mask with flowers and carry my things in a traveler's bag that serves as the equivalent of a purse. Perfectly comfortable and I find that women really like it; but men? Well not so much. Works for me and is quite comfortable and the wife accepts it completely. So, I know exactly what you are talking about and experiencing. But beware, it may change and go in either direction. That said, I currently fully enjoy exhibiting a fairly female-like personality that can also be moderately male-like when necessary.

[StacyG]

I'm in the same boat. The wife moved out and the kids are grown and gone. Now that I have the freedom to do it, I have not one to share it with. The forum is great but still. I still underdress and sleep in my favorite nightgowns, but sitting around in my bra and forms and a nice dress and heels isn't worth the effort after a long day of work anymore for some reason. I really like being a man, if there there was someone who enjoyed my feminine side, I would likely do it more.

[Karren H]

Sounds more like you need! Vitameatavegamin!


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ercpVeRnILw

[Kris Burton]

It happens to me too. It will be back, and if you are like me, stronger than ever! You've been away from it for a while,and you may need to force the issue a bit at first. However, I think when you do go full Charlotte and glam up, you'll find your urge returns with vigor, and the issue won't be getting going, but shutting it down when you need to.

[Debbie Denier]

That sums me up at the moment.Cant be bothered being bothered but it will pass.

[EllieOPKS]

Karen you're so funny

[Cheryl T]

Those phases are killers.
There used to be many days when I'd mentally plan everything out. What I'd wear, how I'd do my makeup, how much time I would have, where I'd set up the camera then WHAM! The time would come and I just wouldn't have the energy or the interest and I'd just sit and wonder What Happened?? Thankfully that doesn't happen anymore.

[Apostrophe]

Ya betcha, Charlotte. I am much the same way. When it is about identity and gender the dressing can often be like peanut butter and jelly on a slice of bread. The bread is what is important.

I have found that it is the gender behavior that is important as that involves how you interact with others. For me it isn't about the clothes; it is about the personality. I still wear flats around the house and most of the time wear women's T's for the strong colors which I love and also sweatshirts. It is more of a mild androgynous expression and I wear a mask with flowers and carry my things in a traveler's bag that serves as the equivalent of a purse. Perfectly comfortable and I find that women really like it; but men? Well not so much. Works for me and is quite comfortable and the wife accepts it completely. So, I know exactly what you are talking about and experiencing. But beware, it may change and go in either direction. That said, I currently fully enjoy exhibiting a fairly female-like personality that can also be moderately male-like when necessary.
I like how you put this, Gretchen. Very relatable for me.

[Debra Russell]

Charlotte, I have had the same experience and it seems that for me in order to get fully in femm mode I require enough time to relax and feel comfortable to fully enjoy the transition , but alas those times are all most non existent; so I have to be content with whatever - underdressing dressing temporarily around house no make up no wig ect ect ......but why? and like you is it worth it......................Debra

[JustJennifer]

Right now I'm in a bit of a lull too -- very few opportunities to dress and no desire to do a half-hearted rush job in whatever spare time remains. If I can't do it in style, I don't want to do it at all. Regardless, I still spend more time than I should window shopping online and looking for the perfect shoes or dress.

Winter is always kind of a blah time for me anyway.

[Heather76]

I've not experienced this with regard to cross dressing; however, I have experienced a similar lack of interest with regards to other things I enjoy. There are times I have found the enjoyment I might get from an activity just doesn't seem to be worth the effort it takes to partake.

Charlotte, unless you experience this over the long term I wouldn't be particularly concerned. The odds are in your favor that one day you'll wake up and realize there's nothing on earth that will prevent Charlotte from presenting herself in all her glory.

[Territx]

I just like to dress (no desire to change my gender), so having the time to get everything out and enjoy it is "very" important to me. If anyone finds a remedy to this malaise, then please let me know!

[kimdl93]

Sure, I don?t have many obstacles to expressing my gender, but there are times when I lack the energy. Not sure what to do but find some distractions.

[Judy-Somthing]

Join the Club!

[Maria 60]

I was going through something like that a while ago, my wife stated that we don't realize it but with the covid and lack of vacation and freedom we are in some form of depression. I felt the same a while ago I wanted to dress but just the thought of the cleanup didn't seem to make the reward worth the effort.
It came back slowly and now, let's just say I'm fully dressed writing this, so I guess I'm back.

[Marissa Q]

All the gurls here are right; we're all completely capable of landing in a dressing "funk". But worrying about everything from getting caught, keeping one's DADT status intact, saving the marriage/relationship and, now, worrying whether a funk might be permanent or not seems to be an overload of stress. Pile that on enough and nothing will ever be satisfying. Ceaseless apprehension comes at a great cost, no matter how you dress.

[CharlotteCD]

I forced myself to dress today. Not my best makeup, but I actually feel like Charlotte today.

My recent downsizing of my wardrobe has certainly made it easier to dress. I am now only choosing from 3 tops, 3 trousers and 1 skirt. No changing clothes every 30 minutes, no agonising over what outfit. Much easier.

I've been dressed for about 2 hours, and it's actually felt so good.

Just the clean up to worry about now!

[tifftg]

Charlotte,

Like many others I can relate. I get certain pockets of opportunity to dress and make myself up, I plan for the time, I visualize the outfits but the timing has to be perfect and if I don't start when I need to the risk of my wife coming home early, (she is aware but hates my dressing) causes me to stress and hesitate and not get over the hump, but like you when I do get started and dress and try on my wigs, I find the person I want to be if the trade offs weren't so great.

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?277070-Marvelous-morning-of-outfits-and-hairstyles

What I really want is a few days alone to be and explore and just relax as Tiffany.

Thanks for sharing your journey, you give many of us much to consider.

[ambigendrous]

What I've been doing lately: I routinely wear a long nylon nightgown to bed, along with a bra and forms and pantyhose. The pantyhose actually help eliminate leg and foot cramps when my legs hit the cold sheets. Anyway, we've been retired for years now and my wife sleeps late, and then if there's nothing on our calendar for the day she is apt to stay in her jammies all day. I've started doing the same - just throw on a bathrobe over my nightgown and relax. I've awakened many times and thought "I really should get dressed today" and even thought out exactly which dress I want to wear, but then when it comes time to think about getting dressed it's just too much work and I end up staying in my nightgown all day.

[julia.bowie]

It can be just as arousing thinking about crossdressing as the act itself. This enters the territory of autogynephilia and I too (probably like many other corssdressers) have such thoughts. However, I still enjoy the act of dressing because it is more than clothes, etc. It is also about the act of looking after oneself in applying body lotion, face creams, hand creams, etc, etc. For me, crossdressing is very therapeutic in that it is a great way to unwind and de-stress myself after a stressful day at work. And why I so look forward to the weekends in which I can really chill out and spend quality time by myself. Also, an integral part of crossdressing is having the clothes in the first place, and I have a great admiration for women's clothes. Even if I didn't wear them I'd still like to think I could admire a fine cut dress and a beautifully made "vintage" girdle. Crossdressing is (or can be) so much more than wearing clothes.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Im in the camp of dont force it. If the urge to dress comes back, dress Until then find something to do

[NancySue]

I?ve experienced dressing lulls. I wear panties daily and a bra and hose most days and dress more on other days, but there are days that, beyond panties, I?m just not into the effort to wear more. Granted, those days are few and far between, but they do occur. My wife even notices and asks if everything is ok. It?s just a lull.

[Georgia Rose]

I get up in the morning and think I'll dress today but then never seem to get around to it or I let little things get in the way so it doesn't happen. I know this will change as the same has happened in the past. My greatest opportunity is in winter and that's on it's way in a few months where I live so I'm sure I'll be right back on track then. It's no different to a lot of things in life where we run hot and cold without any reason or warning.